Not all bloggers are like that

Aside from reuniting with old friends, meeting new ones, and missing some that couldn't make it, this conference has been about explaining my new motto:

"Not all bloggers are like that."

We're not all about the free shit and the shameless self promotion and the bullshit drama that can only be explained as link bait.

I've spent most of this conference embarrassed that mommy bloggers interrupt your conversations to throw press cards at you for their sponsors, not even asking if the people actually have babies or kids. Annoyed by mommy bloggers elbowing babies (not mine) in the head to get to a SWAG bag.

And pissed off that mommy bloggers take a situation and turn it into a nasty hashtag and hate movement.

In fact, after this BlogHer, I really don't want to be called a mommy blogger ever again.

I stood in line for the limo behind a mom who was attending the Nikon event and was wondering whether it would be okay for her to bring her young baby - pushing her large stroller and car seat as we waited for our ride.

I wasn't sure if she'd be able to bring her baby but I figured that since it was a private invite-only double checkpoint cocktail party, she probably checked, or might expect that it might be possible that they might tell her that she couldn't bring him in.

I didn't think too much about it today until I heard there was a #nikonhatesbabies Twitter hashtag going around.

Now I'm certainly not one to shy away from expressing my opinions about brands doing it badly. I gave Fishful Thinking a piece of my mind on twitter, I made a Motrin Moms spoof, and I shared my strong feelings about Johnson's Camp Baby.

And based on my own personal and professional experiences with each of these situations, I felt that they warranted attention.

But this whole "I have a voice so I'm going to use it no matter who it fucks" is not something I want to be associated with.

The party was in a small bar with an indoor and outdoor section that had no room for a large stroller. It was dark and loud and not conducive to having a baby.

And if I hadn't tracked down and paid a pretty penny for a sitter, I wouldn't have gone.

Aside from talking to the PR firm beforehand about bringing a baby (which a few moms actually did), I think babywearing or finding a babysitter (which I had to do at the very last minute because my mom didn't end up coming) was in order.

It was not a mom blogger event. This is BlogHer. Not BlogMom. There were a bunch of amazing bloggers from all sorts of backgrounds attending the event.

And honestly, if they had said "no" to a baby in a sling, I wouldn't have been surprised either.

When do you bring a baby to a loud cocktail party without asking first? This was an off-site event not sponsored by BlogHer and it's up the sponsor to determine what was appropriate.

So before you jump on a bandwagon and spread the negative word about a sponsor who actually threw an amazing event, check your facts.

Anything does not always go.

Comments

[laura]

loves you girl!
thanks for helping to clear the shitstorm for those of us not there.
honestly as a mom i believe that there is a time and a place for our children no matter how adorable they are and reading your description of this off site event i would agree this was not the place for the wee ones. something about a baby in a bar never seems to work for me.

[Meagan Francis]

Gah. When I originally heard about the party thing, I was pretty horrified, but I didn't really understand the extent of the situation. I thought somebody had been told ahead of time she could bring a baby, and then when she got there was told it wasn't possible. And knowing that, had it been me, I'd have been really embarrassed to be turned away like that -- not to mention bummed to have to miss out on other parties I could have RSVP-ed to -- and also because I did BlogHer with a baby this year and was sensitive to that "is this really OK" self-doubt, I think I emotionally sided with the moms.

But when I saw the hashtag I was just grossed out. A mistake, as unfortunate as it may be, is a mistake. It doesn't warrant a boycott. (for the record, I thought the Motrin Moms and J&J things were ridiculous and way overblown as well).

All that said -- for those in the "babies don't belong at adult events" camp -- I brought a four-month-old baby to BlogHer, and attended several parties with her in tow. I don't see why that's a big deal at all...she's an infant, not a destructive toddler. She was in a sling 90% of the time, and had a fabulous time for 98% of it. When my shoulders and her mood gave out, we decided we'd had enough.

[norm]

Uff da. But beyond that, who picked San Diego Comic-Con weekend for BlogHer? That's just crazy.

[Amelia Sprout]

I've seen a lot of unhappy in babies in places I wouldn't take them. I've also seen a lot of really horrid behavior by women who should be acting like adults. This may have been my only BlogHer if it wasn't for a couple of really great sessions and getting to meet you and a lot of other beautiful and accepting women.

[Amanda]

Thank you! Just because you have kids doesn't mean they belong everywhere with you. I'm at home, but cringed every time I read a blog post this weekend where bloggers said about taking children seemingly with no sitter of some sort in tow. It's a blogger convention, not Sesame Street.

And before everyone hates on me, I have two boys, and one of them is in the middle of terrible 2's.

[Mom101]

I'm just feeling really sad right now. Really sad.

[Jen L.]

EXCELLENT post. Thank you for writing it.

[Suburban Oblivion]

You saw what I thought of this, and thanks so much for the RT btw.

I have written a couple of times lately about this self-entitled attitude so many bloggers have taken on, and it's disgusting. The reason I have finally opted out of the mommyblogging category is because the genre has become so commercial that no one even knows what it is anymore.

There used to be a line between being a blogger and being a marketer, but that line apparently got washed away when mommybloggers got greedy.

[prescott]

#kristenhatesbabies

[Lauren]

Some mommy bloggers are so self righteous.