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Tough Crowd

I was in NYC this week for a conference and a cool work gig with the inimitable Mom-101.

And the good New Yorker that she is, she showed me an amazing time - which included but was not limited to real live music in the subway;

NYC Subway Performers

They only cost me one dollar (Who said NYC was expensive?) 

a real live pair of boobs and their hooker in an elevator; (I don't even want to know how much a night with her would have cost).

And a fancy pants hotel penthouse, complete with Paris Hilton. Well, she wasn't in the penthouse, but she tried to leave the hotel and held up our attendees.

So yes, we can officially blame Paris Hilton for delaying the start of our presentation.

Penthouse View of Central Park

Gratuitous fancy pants hotel penthouse view picture

And present we did, about some cool new home office products to a group of eager, engaging, and enthusiastic magazine writers and bloggers.

Well, I imagine that at some time in their life they might be eager, engaging, and enthusiastic, because aside from the Daily News reporter who told later told Liz that no one had any questions because we were so engaging in his sleep (seriously, the dude was snoozing on the blue velvet couch while Liz talked about surge protectors - the nerve!), they might have been a bunch of mannequins.

And my jokes? Not one laugh. None. Nadda .

Apparently my funny anecdotes about needing a hands free phone so I can breastfeed my baby are only funny to people who have kids.

Who knew?

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Just keep telling yourself that they were too entranced by your new shred-created ass to focus on the jokes.

At my 10 yr HS reunion, the organizer asked people to round up items from their places of business to donate for the raffle. At the time, I worked at LeapFrog, and brought some toys, assuming a few people were parents and many others were at least aunts and uncles. Decent prizes, I would say, although not 100% awesome for the target audience of urban 28-year olds.

Someone else had apparently raided their office supply cabinet and come up with surge protectors. That's right: Person Who Has Traveled the Furthest to Attend This Reunion, you've WON A SURGE PROTECTOR!

If you couldn't make them laugh, then I think laughing must be physically impossible for them. Poor deprived souls.

Where's the picture of the boobs? I mean hooker.

When do you sleep?

aww, you presented to Moai, the Easter Island statues.

I hate when I present on "Easter Island." Luckily it happened only ONCE and was to a bunch of college kids which an ad agency had hired. For Shame!

Trust me, it's THEM, not you.

You & Liz are always funny and engaging.

It was great to see you again.

I'd have laughed.

And made inappropriate jokes about surging and protection just for the two of you.

And I'd have kicked Paris Hilton if I saw her for giving women, no, humans, a bad name.

The things I do for humanity.

I get the hands free to breastfeed thing, I do! I do!

I'm surprised to hear that they weren't excited by the surge protector presentation. I am, just thinking about it. The surging, and the, um, protecting?

What a bunch of boring old coots.

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