With my nipple in their mouth.
It's one thing to breathe in what once was a bunch of shadows and blurry figures that is now the beautifully bright world around them.
I fully support their exploratory spirit. Onward children!
But does it really need to happen while still attached to my boob?
I think it's safe to say I rely on my nipples more than I do my brain, and in fact, I'm pretty sure that my nipples could effectively continue to run my household, as well as feed and entertain my children (and my husband too, I guess) in the absence of my mind.
In fact, had it only been my nipples and my husband on the flight home from Philly on Monday with all my children at the butt crack of dawn, I'm pretty sure everyone would have been just peachy.
One less pair of shoes to take off at security.
They're a teething toy, a hose, a pacifier, a food source, an "easy" button (ahem), and lately, Gumby.
It's hard enough trying to do the quick cover up when she pops off after two minutes or so of nursing because a kid ran by, or the phone rang, or the air blew on her head in the wrong direction.
No, she does not eat that fast. There's a very interesting speck of lint on my shirt that is more captivating than sustaining herself with food.
However, when she's stretching her neck to make sure GOD FORBID she doesn't miss anything with my nipple still firmly planted between her teeth or tongue it just makes me feel like a circus freak.
But instead of feeling all sorry for myself and my poor chewed on Inspector Gadget nipples that sort of resemble an old elastic that's been used a few too many times (sexy, right?), I figure I should put them to good use.