We're extremely fortunate to have a pool in our neighborhood, except that it involves me wearing a bathing suit more often than I'd like, attempting to adequately apply sunscreen to three wiry little children, and having to deal with families who think the pool is their pool even though my family (along with about 50 others) have a key card to get in it.
I realize there are always going to be kids (like mine) that snatch toys, splash water, and sneak snacks. And for the most part, the group of parents I generally hang with take on the role of "the neighborhood's parent" and enforce rules that I would generally require of my children anyway - apologize for snatching toys and return them, splash water only on fully clothed party poopers, and sneak enough snacks to share with me.
But really, we all politely redirect each others' kids when necessary and go about our business of drinking beers out of plastic cups and doing our best not to have to actually get in the still freezing cold pool.
Except when it comes to tomfoolery in the baby pool.
Granted, while I haven't yet had to pull the "Baby Pool Bitch" out at this pool, I'm perfectly fine sending the big kids out of the baby pool and back into the big pool without any ounce of sugar coating.
Apparently when your kid gets big, he doesn't require parenting, so you can sit back and read your rag mags while your elementary aged kids do cannonballs in a barely 2 foot high baby pool. Or, like this past weekend, decide to bring your gihugic blow-up lounger in there with a bunch of toddlers roaming around.
One of the neighbors asked him quite nicely to please go back to the big pool and he completely and quite rudely ignored her.
And so, I gently placed my V-8 Splash and Vodka in a recycled Dunkin Donuts plastic cup down (classy!), brought in the "back-up" by going around so he could see me, and asked him to please take his blow up toy, that literally took up half of the baby pool, into the large pool.
Maybe he smelled the full serving of veggies and fruit on my breath, but he picked up his neon lounger pretty damn fast and headed to the pool.
At which point, a woman came up to me and asked me what the problem was, in a not so friendly sort of way.
I told her that the toy and really, the kid, was too big to be in the baby pool, where it could easily cover up one of the babies.
Now, I didn't recognize her, not just because my vision was a little blurry (phew all those veggies), but because I'm not sure if she was a neighbor or a visiting friend. She told me that she didn't see a problem with the lounger being in the baby pool and that the baby pool was for children who didn't know how to swim.
Really, I think she was trying to tell me it was for big kids in blow up loungers who should be able to do what they want.
Fine. Your kid wants to float on a lounger in teeny tiny pool of shallow water?
Go let him do it IN HIS OWN BATH TUB.
So next time, I'm going to let the lifeguard on duty handle it.