10 Tips to Help You Prepare for BlogHer 2009

Four weeks until BlogHer, and there are Pre-BlogHer posts popping up already. And for good reason. Every year, there are a ton of pre-Blogher freakout posts and then a gaggle of seasoned bloggers who offer to help new BlogHer conference attendees prepare for what can seem like a daunting and overwhelming experience with a few virtual Xanax.

So since this will be my fourth time, I figured I'd throw my hat into the ring and offer my own advice on how to deal with BlogHer-induced anxiety.

1. It's a conference, not a red carpet. Dress accordingly.

Every year, you'll find no shortage of posts with BlogHers freaking out about what to wear. If you rarely leave the house for anything other than school drop off and the grocery store or look like you always just left the gym, you might want to snazz up your wardrobe, but don't feel like you need to get dressed up to sit in a hotel conference room.

For the cocktail parties you might want something a little nicer, but don't go searching for a full length evening gown. Something simple and flattering that you don't mind getting photographed in (we're bloggers, we take lots of pictures, see #4) should work just fine. And wear comfortable shoes. You'll be surprised at how much you'll be standing.

2. Don't be embarrassed to look at someone's name tag. We all have to do it. 

There's just no sly way of getting around the name tag chicken head bob. Some have perfected it, while others will just look like they're trying to match your boobs with your face. Don't be offended if someone doesn't know who you are. We all know the pictures most people put on their blogs are from 2001 before we all had kids and double chins. And while what you write on your blog is extremely awesome, you shouldn't feel bad if someone doesn't remember what you wrote about on your last post. Most of us are lucky to have time to read emails from our own mothers let alone blogs these days.

And don't worry if you don't know who someone is. We're all running on half a brain cell anyway. The name tags are there for a reason, so use them.

3. Birds of a feather flock together. That doesn't mean we're all in high school again.

I've never quite understood why people get their panties in a wad about bloggers who happen to be friends who happen to hang out together at BlogHer. It has little to do with them trying to avoid you or being mean to you or excluding you from all their "hip cool parties" (that ps you're invited to anyway), and more with the fact that some bloggers are better friends.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't go say "hello" or introduce yourself, or join in on a discussion. Just don't follow them into a bathroom stall or try to touch their boob. That generally doesn't go over well. At least with most bloggers, anyway.

4. Don't do anything that you might not want written about or photographed because, um, it's a blogging conference.

I remember the first year I went to BlogHer, I was shocked to see so many people on their computers, even during the sessions. And then I remembered that it's a blogging conference, so people are, well, blogging. And taking pictures. A lot. That doesn't mean you can't be yourself, but if you so happen to get wasted, and then pass out on the bed, don't be surprised if people put stuff all over you and take pictures and then write about it on their blogs. Just sayin'.

5. Hoard food

For some reason, there always seems to be a lack of food at BlogHer. And while I love a tasty beverage or 27, I still need actual food. And not just bagels and diet water. Maybe it's because I've been pregnant or breastfeeding at every BlogHer conference, but there just never seems to be enough food.

So find a suite in the afternoon, leave early and grab dinner before the cocktail parties, or find something small at the hotel restaurant. But don't expect there to be masses of food at this particular conference. In fact, if you're looking for good swag, hand out protein bars or turkey sausages with your logo. I'm betting you'd do pretty well.

6. You don't need to go to everything. In fact, it might not be humanly possible.

I took one glance at the Blogher 2009 party schedule for this year and nearly fell over. Aside from the conference sessions, exhibit booths, and 4000 other BlogHer sponsored events, you've got a slew of other parties and suites and Xanadu orgies to deal with. So pace yourself, and don't get upset if you can't go to everything. You'll find yourself missing out on good quality time with the people you came to see. And if you do try to go to everything, you don't need to be the last one to leave. There are no awards for that.

So don't feel bad if you have to skip a session or two and head out to lunch with some friends, or tell the friendly PR person that you can only chat about their extremely important service for five minutes and not the entire afternoon.

7. Leave room for swag.

One of the fun parts of BlogHer is all the goodies you get to bring home. Of course, I'd much rather stuff a Her Bad Mother and a Redneck Mommy in my suitcase, but I suppose a blue tooth headset, potholder, and computer laptop bag are just as good as a couple of Canadians.

Every year, there seems to be more and more swag, and as someone who has a little problem with being overwhelmed by too much stuff, it can be just that, overwhelming. So if you want to bring it all home, pack an extra bag. Or take some time before you leave and sift through what you really want.

On the bright side, you won't have to worry about bringing back anything for your kids. You'll have plenty of goodies to pawn off as "cool presents I searched long and hard through all of Chicago to find just for you."

8. Bloggers are weird. That's why they blog.

You might end up being surprised at how different people may be from their blog. Some folks are just as equally outgoing and friendly, while others might be super open on their blog and then quite reserved in person. It's not because they're being a dick. Well, for the most part. (ha). Some people get a little nervous when they're mingling in big crowds and meeting new people. Just give them a few drink tickets before you make a snap judgment about their personality.

9. If you blog about it, someone will find it.

It seems as though it can't be a BlogHer without some snafu of sorts - someone pissed off someone else or said something and so they wrote about it on their blog that nobody ever reads.

Yeah right.

Well guess what? You're at a freaking blogging conference, so people will find it. Plus, thanks to Twitter, the connector of everyone friends or not, it'll be quickly broadcast.

So if you've had a not-so-nice experience, think twice before you whine on your blog. Especially while you're still at the conference. At least wait until you get home to cause hate wars.

10. If your name ain't on the agenda, feel free to make comments and questions, not free bonus presentations or self-promoting speeches.

With so many opinionated people in one place, there are bound to be differences of opinion during the sessions. And aside from the panelists sharing their expertise and experiences, it's definitely the discussion that makes the panels interesting. But unless you're up on the stage with a microphone, don't use the floor as a platform to promote yourself, your blog, or your sponsor. It's perfectly fine to say who you are and where you write, but don't take the panel away from the people who are actually on the agenda as panelists. Make your comment or statement, and/or ask a question, and then allow the presenters to answer. If you've got more to add, write about it on your blog later. That's generally what those things are good for.

Bonus! 11. Don't pitch your friends *New for 2009*

Given the slew of bloggers who are being sponsored (including me), I feel the need to add this little snippet. In years past, I've had people I know and read daily give me their business card, which I think is sort of silly because, well, I know you. A condom lollipop or beer bottle opener is one thing, but no need to give me your personal information on a card (which I already know). Save your business cards for the new contacts.

And regardless of what you've been asked to do by your sponsor, don't pitch your friends. I suppose if there's anyone that should understand it will be the people you're closest to, but they're also the ones that will write about you being a goofy whore.  

You want more about BlogHers past? Check out my post-BlogHer awards.

Comments

[Medyumlar]

This is a great post - I particularly love #5 - I was starving last year too and I was not prego or breast feeding! It's funny you mention Sarah's bottle opener because I just used it this weekend!

[Elisa]

Thank you for the tips! Most of them are good common sense, but being a BlogHer newbie, I'll still take all the advice I can get ;-)

[Boston Mamas]

Just saw this post via Susan's post about BlogHer program highlights. Great suggestions! Can't wait to see you next week. I promise not to give you my biz card. Will keep condom lollipop in mind... -Christine

[Cecelia]

Thanks for the tips...attending my first this year. Glad to find your blog. :)

[magpie]

About that swag: last year, I mailed a box of stuff home so I didn't have to carry it on the plane.

[Asianmommy]

Thanks for the great tips. Can't wait to go!

[Redneck Mommy]

You can stuff me anytime baby.

Er. That came out wrong.

Never mind.

You know what I mean.

heh.

[Jennifer A]

so, business cards are a no? Do people hand them out to everyone? How does that work? And I'm commuting to BlogHer from the Chicago Suburbs so dragging 1000 vegan, gluten free protein bars isn't going to work out so well.

[AshAllman]

Have fun everyone! Sorry I'll be missing it. Maybe next year will be my first.

[Jane]

Wondering if #8 breaches the rule laid out in #9? Hmmmm....something to think about.

[nic @mybottlesup]

awesomeness... and, if you're like me and can't attend, you can "attend" via http://www.blogherathome.com

ps- i think you should wear a prom dress. a skanky one with cut-outs and string-ties instead of straps.

[jaelithe]

Number three is so, so true people. I am nerdy and introverted and am basically a blogging nobody and yet people like Kristen are still willing to talk to me at blog conferences about things like little boys' obsessions with their penises. And people like Bossy are willing to sort of overlook my weird extended rant about missing her road trip visit to my city because my car was broken into the night before (or at least, willing to not slowly back away in the other direction.)

[Keep On S'myelin!]

I think it would be interesting to go!

I wonder if they have something like this in Canada (Toronto)?

Does anyone know?

[Heather]

It would be interesting to go someday! I'd be one of the women that people would think was a jerk because I hardly talk in person. So! That makes me want to go! ;)

Also, I thought Tanis would like it if people touched her boobs. I've never met her, but that's the impression that I get. Am I wrong? (Wish I could go so I could touch boobies! Oh wait. You said NOT to. Dang.)

[Chicky Chicky Baby]

Oh lawd, #8 - Yes!

If you're looking for me I'll be the one with the bag over her head. But I'll buy cute shoes first.

[Miss Behavin]

Well, I have a horrible case of boob envy and if I can't touch the boobies then I'm not going!

[Megan {Velveteen Mind}]

Easily one of the best BlogHer prep posts I've read. I just twittered about #10 because I know what it's like to be the one trying to wrangle the mic back from that random speech-giving promoter and dodging glares from the panel. Yikes.

Okay, I could comment on every single one of these. But I'll just say thank you for the shout out for The People's Party! Yes, it's that cool and yes you are all invited. That's the point!

Also, I'm pregnant this year and might just carry a pizza around with me.

Yeah, I could comment on ALL of these. Like that I only went to half the stuff and was still exhausted and did it all in jeans and cute t's. There. Last comment. Love this post!

[tena]

this was very interesting- thanks for the tips!

[Wifey]

Great post. Met you last year at BlogHer and completely agree with your wise words.

Oh, and um, who was the rock star giving out condom lollipops so I can find them this year?

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

[Marinka]

Please tell me that the name tags are of the "HELLO my name is" variety. Because I love those.

[anita ovolina]

thanks for the suggestions. Luckily for me I'll have the five kids in two so I'll probably be fortunate to skip most of the cool events and parties....:)
Cheers,
Anita

[marty]

#12 Miss Julie and Marty tremendously and talk about them like they are there.

[Katja of Skimbaco]

Great post! Can't wait to meet you and others, and I agree with the biz card thing.

[The New Girl]

I just read that Julie's not going and I'm C R U S H E D.

Now I have to go and get 10,000 protein bars with, er, something on them...what was that again?

[Alli Worthington ( @alliworthington )]

Awesome post.

Can't wait to meet you this year!

[Christina]

Oh, I stress #8 as well. I sometimes come across as snobby because I'm so freakin' ADD that my neck snaps around for each new conversation I hear. If I'm acting like that, feel free to grab my head to face you and tell me to focus.

I'll also add that if you don't want all of your swag, find those who do or use the Zwaggle room if it's back this year. Don't throw it away - there might be someone who can really use that potholder. I scored a sweet (and much needed) pair of shoes for my daughter last year because one of my roommates didn't need them.

And K, you totally leaked my idea for the swag protein bars. ;)

[Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com]

I admit it, I'm one of the ones who needs to match boobs to someone's face. It's just that those freaking nametags can be so hard to read!

I hope all of you enjoy BlogHer. Meanwhile I'll be in a hospital somewhere pushing a child out of my vagina. Just think of that while you party on. That's all.

[Jill]

Excellent! Thanks for the advice!

[Keyona]

So touching boobs is a no no? :o)

[Julie @ The Mom Slant]

This post makes me really sad that I'm not going this year, because I'd really like another opportunity to put stuff on Cath.

[Angella]

Perfect, perfect, perfect.

#3 - I was so frustrated by posts afterward where people said they were excluded. Everyone I met was nice, and I was nice to everyone I met.

You can't be close friends with 1,000 women...

[Velma]

So true, all of it! I'm especially down with the whole "what to wear" freakout - while I remember the people I met last year, I couldn't tell you what they were wearing.

[Kevin Burke]

#12. Talk to some of the guys. We're afraid.

[Allie]

So yes I have been obsessively thinking about clothes but it was all worth it. I apparently am the only mom on the planet who has never read your blog before. I have just found my new " I should be cleaning my floors,or turning off Dora, I'll just read one more post" blog.

Thanks!

[traceyclark]

brilliant.

[Naomi]

Oh, great. I'm not supposed to pass out, whore myself out on the mic or fondle other bloggers… how will I occupy myself?!

[Amelia Sprout]

Thank you for this. I have someone to get advice from, but I'm still nervous.

The food part is especially noted. I know how to get to Fronterra Grill from the hotel, so I'll just plan to go there. Rick Bayless here I come!

[Caryn]

Thanks for the rundown -- can't wait to meet you all.

[chris]

Great advice, especially about the food. Make good use out of your mini fridge in your hotel room and stock up on some food when you first arrive.

And is it only four weeks?!?

[Adventures In Babywearing]

This is perfect. I had someone ask me if 1000 business cards was enough. I said maybe 100? Or like I'm doing this year: none. Great post and now I can't wait even more.

Steph

[Karen Sugarpants]

Thank you for #8! I can be very overwhelmed in crowds and come off as standoffish or snobby, when the truth is, I'm wishing I was under the covers in the fetal position. Great post Kristen!

[Susan Getgood]

Great advice Kristen. Especially #10 & 11!

Fairly Odd Mother - try parent blogger. It's gender neutral and feels more grown-up somehow :-)

[Vicky]

I'm with Fairly Odd Mother. Unless I have met you, worked with you and/or hung out with you, I will draw a blank until you are no longer talking to me. Then I'll remember everything about you.

Also? I LOATHE the term "Mommy blogger". Blech.

[Heather B.]

I still get nervous about BlogHer. Which is one reason for why people immediately flock to their friends they've known forever; it's just easier not to freak out that way.

[cagey]

I agree regarding the Friends Don't Let Friends Pitch Friends bit. That is just tacky. Good grief, folks.

Am very pumped about this year's conference, this is also my 4th and it will also be the first in which I am not pregnant or breastfeeding. Finally.

[Average Jane]

Excellent post!

[Karen MEG]

This was a great post, thanks so much for this. And Thanks for clarifying that I won't be hiding in the corner because I'm a dick LOL!

[Her Bad Mother]

Also, I think that we need a t-shirt for #11: "Friends Don't Let Friends Pitch Their Friends."

[Her Bad Mother]

DITTO DITTO DITTO.

I'm going to skip writing a pre-BlogHer post (other than the Bring Yo Baby post that I did at the BlogHer site) and just link this one all over the f'ing place. Yeah.

(And? I so fit in a suitcase. I'm bendy like that.)

[Fairly Odd Mother]

Damn, I planned to follow The Bloggess into the bathroom---I heard that's where she hangs out.

I am so much more comfortable meeting someone whose blog I love when they don't know who I am, versus the opposite. I feel like such an ass when someone says they read my blog and I can't say the same back, or I go blank on their site and can't remember if they have a boy, a girl or write about food.

And, is there a term beside "Mommy blogger" that people use to describe their sites? Personal blogger? Life blogger? I HATE Mommy Blogger with the power of a thousand suns, especially when I'm meeting someone who writes about Math or Gourmet Food.

[Jodi - Mom's Favorite Stuff]

Thank you so much for this! Such great info!

[Shannanb aka Mommy Bits]

This is a great post - I particularly love #5 - I was starving last year too and I was not prego or breast feeding! It's funny you mention Sarah's bottle opener because I just used it this weekend!