Like a dead pig in the road
On the way to school today, I was cruising along, listening to the kids sing and cough through "Brush Your Teeth" for the 4th time when I had to hit the breaks and swerve around a huge dead wild pig in the road.
Seriously. Where do I live?
I usually tend to look away from gigantic roadkill, but a big huge ass black pig was a little hard to ignore. And ever since I saw him resting peacefully in the middle of that road, I can't seem to get him off my mind.
With this whole parenting of three while alone a fair amount thing, I never fully feel like I get up to speed. I'm riding high for a few days, maybe even a week, with my organized bedtime routine and preplanned meals and thrice-weekly running program and my skinny ass and a nice new babysitter but then
BAM. I run into a big huge gigantic dead pig in the road.
And I have to slam on the breaks and go around him and then I can't stop thinking about the pig and how terrible he looked and how sad and awful and how all his piggy friends will be missing him and woe is me it's all about me and how tired I am and why won't my baby sleep and take a bottle so I can be freeeeeeeeeee for more than 2 hours at a time and my kids won't stop fighting and coughing and everything is a fucking massive argument JUST LET ME WIPE YOUR ASS BEFORE YOU GET SHIT ON THE COUCH.
I suppose there's something to be said about driving on a long boring road. But after awhile, I guess you'd fall asleep and long for a little action - a couple of twists, a rickety bridge, even some roadkill to stare at.
But those smooth drives, where things are good, tears are few, and smiles are plenty, are simply magic. Granted they never seem to last longer than a few minutes, but even so, I try to remember to bask in boring.
Right now, this very day, I'm forcing myself to drive around the damn "pig" and I'm trying to remember that while there will inevitably be another one in the road, that doesn't mean I need to let him completely ruin my day or worry myself about when he'll pop up next.
Because when it comes down to it, he's just a pig after all.
(No offense, Mr. Pig. RIP).
Since I too live where you do, I have some friends who often say "WTFDWL?" Which stands for "Where the F*** Do We Live?!?". And, where we live, that can be applied not only to situations, but also to random people. I love the neighborhood, but the city has its "quirks".
Posted by: Amy | May 27, 2009 at 04:17 PM
Just what I needed...thanks.
Hope you have a pigless weekend!
Posted by: JHP | May 22, 2009 at 12:41 AM
It's true--all you can do is to drive around it the best you can and move on!
Posted by: Asianmommy | May 21, 2009 at 09:30 PM
This was exactly the post I needed to read today. Thanks!
Posted by: Mandi | May 21, 2009 at 12:54 PM
Beautiful. Thank you for the reminder.
Posted by: Jolene | May 21, 2009 at 10:58 AM
If you had been the one to hit that pig, you'd have wrecked the car... for realz!
I hit a wild boar when I was stationed in Germany in the early '80's... bad news.
Breathe, friend.
Posted by: Gunfighter | May 21, 2009 at 06:54 AM
Suddenly I really want some bacon.
Posted by: Mom101 | May 20, 2009 at 11:38 PM
I love this post. When life hands you a dead pig, make bacon. Now that I've said that, I just hope you aren't a vegetarian or easily offended by meat jokes.
Posted by: Meagan Francis | May 20, 2009 at 09:09 PM
I love this post.
Posted by: Lori | May 20, 2009 at 08:31 PM
I have to admit that my most recent roadkill experience didn't lead to quite so much reflection. So kudos to you, you're a step ahead of me and I don't even have one kid yet =)
Posted by: Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com | May 20, 2009 at 07:51 PM
I love that you take this and make a funny, but true life lesson out of it. That. Is why your blog rocks!
Posted by: Jenny | May 20, 2009 at 07:44 PM
Single parenting with three kids sounds like a big ol' pig. But you are obviously kicking some pig ass, if you can write about it with humor, instead of hiding under your bed all day! Maybe you should have a KIDS-RAISE-THEMSELVES day, and just let them do whatever they want and see what happens!
Posted by: Molly | May 20, 2009 at 05:59 PM
First swine flu, and now you dissin' on a big ole dead pig. Just what the swine nation needs.
Posted by: patois | May 20, 2009 at 03:47 PM
I think I am the pig.
At least today.
Posted by: Oink Oink | May 20, 2009 at 03:04 PM
I think I hit the pig.
Posted by: Belinda | May 20, 2009 at 02:22 PM
My whole life is fucking massive dead pig in the road.
It helps to know that you've got a case of the big fucking dead pigs, too. A bit.
Posted by: Her Bad Mother | May 20, 2009 at 02:02 PM
I passed a dead baby deer on the highway this morning and thought about how much his mommy must be missing him/her. And then I got teary thinking about how much I love my kids and would be so upset if anything happened to them and I didn't know where they were.
And then I came to work and got a nasty, unexpected e-mail. I couldn't hold back the flood of tears.
That dear deer did it to me!
I've moved on after a quick counseling session with a co-worker and a call to Mom. I hope my kids still call me when they are 35!
Posted by: Pia | May 20, 2009 at 01:58 PM
Here here! I am really trying not to "sweat the small stuff" as the old cliche goes, but it's hard sometimes, isn't it? We can all use reminders like this!
Posted by: Jill | May 20, 2009 at 11:46 AM
at least you didn't hit the pig yourself. think of the trauma then!
Posted by: Luann | May 20, 2009 at 11:34 AM
i'm pretty sure i made that same couch comment to my son about 20 minutes ago.
Posted by: MommyNamedApril | May 20, 2009 at 11:31 AM
Ah yes, another thing that could only happen in The South. Sigh. I really really really want to move back to New England. Immediately. Love your blog though! You give me hope -- you're blog is a great thing for me to cling to and chant icandoiticandoiticandoit.
Posted by: Zozo's Mom | May 20, 2009 at 10:41 AM