While I nurse Margot to sleep every night, I get my fill of craptastic television. And my guilty pleasure, after I can no longer take the bright white smile and robotic voice of Mary Hart, is The Daily 10 on E! Aside from feeling sympathy hunger pains for Catt and Deb, I actually like getting a daily dose of entertainment news.
It's like a shot of Botox. It makes me feel young again.
Except for when they do their style segments, like last night's "Hot Summer Styles." Nothing makes you feel like a big giant old fart than watching some style "guru" attempt to convince the average American woman that they could get away with wearing a jumpsuit.
And she wasn't even April Foolin'.
I admit to have worn a jumpsuit (also known as a "romper" in some cases) at one point in my life. I think I was about 7 months old and it looked adorable.
(Excuse the bad eyeliner. I was only a baby).
But yes, apparently they are back, and I cannot, for the life of me, understand the appeal.
Maybe it's because I do not want to be wearing the same thing as my 6 month old or that you have to completely undress in order to go to the bathroom, which might be fine for a 16 year old, but when you're carraling three kids in a public bathroom stall, you don't exactly have the time or the energy to strip down just to pee. Plus, then you've got to hold it up off the floor or worse, out of the toilet, both of which require arms that I am generally using to stop my kids from putting their hands in the pretty silver boxes.
[Side note: Why can't they make those fucking boxes ugly and gross, or like in the shape of a big green vegetable so kids would never ever go near them ever?]
I suppose they could add leg snaps, but I can barely do those on my kid let alone on me. I'd be walking around with uneven snaps and half my ass hanging out. Sort of like my 6 month old on most days.
But along with the not so simple logistics of the jumpsuit, I kind of think they tend to look like pajamas, which is great when you're going for that extremely sexy "I just rolled out of bed look" but c'mon. I can do that without even trying. I'm not sure why I would spend extra money on something that I can do for free.
(I always wear platforms to bed yo)
But by far, my favorite look for summer that "every woman will find flattering" (seriously, she said that) is the jumpsuit with harem pants.
Yes, because a huge baggy mid-section with the crotch of your pants hanging down at your ankles with a tapered leg will really scream "sexy."
Try "Can't Touch This."
Jump Suit Harem Pants 2009: 2 Legit 2 Quit