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March 14, 2009


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Damn. My kids so know that they can wear me down, too. Ugh.

Winks & Smiles,

One night, around 3 in the morning, 3 year old Jacob called me into his room several times for a variety of things (he wanted his fan on, then off, he was too hot, too cold, etc.). Finally, he called me in & told me he was very scared, and there was something very, very big over there. Thinking it was a monster or a ghost, I asked what it was. His response? "It's a wall." Um yeah. At 3 in the morning, he had to tell me that there was a wall in his room.

My favorite from Thalia:

The rabbit clock on my wall is not friendly.

My son, 5, only child, gets me every time. He says it is not fair that I get to sleep with Dad and I am not alone but he has to sleep on the whole other side of the house (all 1000 sq. ft), all alone. He has asked many times why we can’t have another baby. Not for him to have someone to sleep with but so that the new baby would have to take over his room and he would have to sleep with us. It never occurred to him that the baby would get the third bedroom. He understands how important our third bedroom, AKA mommy’s office, is to a happy mommy. In my opinion he has a completely valid argument. I hate sleeping alone now. Why should have to do it?

3yo - There's a noise. It's keeping me up. Come here and listen...Just wait, it's only every little bit...no, really!! Maybe if you lay down next to me and wait, you'll hear it...sssshh. Just wait with me...

Heh, the fire alarm is VERY, very clever! =)

love it! i'm totally i love with your blog after two posts! i'm the mami of a just-turned-two year old. i look forward to the education i'll receive here!! hehe =0) RJ

"I can't sleep because I had a bad dream." This from the mouth of my 5 year old approximately 5.6 seconds after he was tucked in for the night.

I agree with the poster who said her older child gets engaging at bedtime. My older two have two different strategies: the 13-year-old gets cozy with me and wants to watch a movie, talk to me, while the 10-year-old disappears to the computer room. I begin to notice that she is missing and by then bedtime is very late.

To complicate matters I have a 5-year-old who sometimes stays up too late not by his choice but because our schedule is more skewed towards older kids. On school nights all the kids go to between 8:30 and 9. On weekends the girls know to not make a fuss out of getting to stay up late. If their brother notices that they are staying up late...we are in for it.

Mine stalls with bizarre "one last" questions like, "what are chairs made of?"

When my oldest was two, his excuse for getting out of bed was "I ate a fuzzy." He had many others that night, but that one was the best.

Daughter? Her method to manipulate at 18 months is to stand up in bed as soon as I put her down and raise her arms and say one of the 10 words she knows.
Melts my heart, EVERYTIME.

There's the classic "Have to go baffroom", which has now passed on to every stuffed creature in her room. She thinks it's hilarious when I get super frustrated & say, "Then why are you in the living room? The toilet isn't in here!"

Strange, but she has also had a scary cow dream where I was (nice) turned into a cow & only responded to her terror by chomping my cud.

"I felt uncomfortable that I should get you so I'm just doing what you told me." Shit girl, you are in trouble. Imagine her at 13.

We get some form of this ever night:
It's too light.
It's too dark.
Sissy is snoring.
Sissy won't stop talking.
I hear the TV and I wanted to see if you were watching my movie without me.
I was just missin you.
Once I had a dream about uh...but wait it was important, I need to tell you about it.

Mom of a twelve yr old reports that these techniques become more finely tuned with age and yet are still persistent.

Mine turns extremely nice around 9 PM and all of a sudden is a very engaging companion. Surely I wouldn't shun his camaraderie. That would mean I was BAD MOM.

Fuck. You have the same problem that I do? I thought it was just at my house. What are we going to do????????

All kids must asleep by 9pm. How did we fail to get them to bed? And fast asleep!?

My two year old just stands at the gate and screams. It's awesome.

My daughter just turned two, and somehow she already has an arsenal of bedtime excuses lined up. I hear everything from "water!" to "shut the door" to "lay mama's bed" to "snuggle mama". I also have to deal with her not liking the book she just picked out and demanding she get up to get another one. She also looks all throughout the room for anything that might be out of place and insists that I make it right. All this, and she literally just turned two.

What perfect timing!!! I just came stomping down the stairs after the nightly stalling game and tonight after about a million hungry, thirsty, need to potty, hot, cold, etc. requests my 3 year old son tells me as I am shutting his bedroom door...."Momma, Siren (one of our cats) told me I need to scoop the litter box!". Ummm yeah that.

This isn't mine, but my friend's son has become afraid of cows, and insists that there are cows in his room every night.

It's way funnier than the random whining and kvetching that my kids do. Cows in the bedroom is a respectable level of creativity, you know?

First we get can I have a story...not that we just didn't read him one or anything. Then it's the I'm thirsty followed by I had too much to drink and need to go potty. After potty he needs to feed the cats. then he remembers to tell us to feed the fish. At this point we usually get asked if it's morning yet because it's too bright outside...at 9pm. Then we get that our TV is too loud, but when we turn it off we get a yell asking if we're still in the house. It never ends...until his body just gives out from exhaustion!

At 2 am, I get "My humidifier's out of water!"

One night a few months ago, my 6 year old came down and told me she couldn't go to sleep because she hadn't recited John 3:16 to me. Like she does that every night?! Just go to bed!!!!!

When we notice the 4 year old is still up making noise in her room an hour after bedtime, she tells us (indignantly) "I CAN'T sleep! My ducks are quacking and playing too loud!"

The two year old just hollers "MAMA I WANT NEED YOUUUUUUUU"

There's a bad dream in my room!!! After he's been in there for 30 seconds. It's usually a menacing farm animal like a sheep.

My four year old is famous for "I just miss you and need to hold you for a while" (can't imagine where she came up with the guilt trip method). Her funniest thing is "you know, I don't like the sound of this cough so I better sleep with you so you can keep and eye on me" (she's asthmatic and way to smart about it)...when all else fails, there's always, "maybe I can just cuddle you for a minute and if I fall to sleep you can try to put me in my own bed".

My son is infamous for his "it's to hot in my bedroom, I want to lay on the cool couch and watch T.V. with ya'll" our response "No, go to bed, I'll turn the fan on":)

my own 16 month daughter cant come up with mroe than MAMA!!!! but my 7 year old nephew was visiting and the fan was on in his room. The string was clicking against the fan and he kept insisting he couldnt sleep because he KNEW it was really a bomb and it was my fault he thought it was a bomb because I let him read all that world war two stuff. I told him that with my pregnant belly there was no room in our bed and he pointed out that I would feel SO terrible if he died because of the bomb and that I would blame the baby so it was probably best for everyone if he just slept with me.

My son is 16.5 years old and every single night he falls asleep watching tv on the sofa. When I wake him up, he swears he's just "resting his eyes" and he's not at all tired. And then he falls back to sleep. We do this dance about 5 times before he finally admits he's tired and goes to bed. But even then he sometimes has to come back downstairs for a little something to eat, like 1/2 a lasagna.

My 8 year old has NEVER got up out of his bed once I put him there- can you believe that?! BUT....he calls to me often- to tell me one more thing, give me one more hug, to ask what he's having for lunch the next day, ask for more water, sometimes to say HE JUST CAN"T SLEEP!, blah, blah, blah. I think they just don't want to separate from us and end the day. I think that is a good thing- but it makes us crazy!

Oh, can we have the same sh**** night in two different households. I tried not to hold a grudge as I walked him back to bed, lights glaring in my eyes. "Mom..can I have all my trains I brought into your bedroom, mom...i think santas coming, mom...i think the suns up, mom...i want a snack" all of this came out before I even mumbled "huh?"

That child is a genius!!

My twins are pretty good sleepers but once in a while they come up with good stories. One likes dogs and the other is afraid of them - so any barking noises (even if made by her sister) automatically mean the lights go on and we have to check under the bed, under the blankets, etc otherwise she won't go back to sleep. Funny how quickly they learn these tricks!

My SIX year old still does this. She's a master manipulatress although I have to say I'm impressed with the fire alarm bit. ;)

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