The Real Victims of Motherhood

These were my boobs.

These are my boobs after breastfeeding three babies.

Any questions?

Comments

[flip flops make me happy]

I have been breastfeeding for over a year don't know what I'll be left with but I do not think it's going to be good! what about the scratches though? nobody has mentioned that! is it just my little girl using my breasts as a scratching post??????

[Jenny, Bloggess]

Could be worse. Could be a zucchini and two kiwi's. That would be awkward in a bikini.

[Wifey]

Tee hee hee. They're not saggy enough to be mine.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

[Miss Grace]

At least they're both still looking at me. I can't say the same for mine...

[Karen (Submommy)]

I thought I was the only woman on earth who could not longer wear deep-plunge bras. Lefty is bigger than righty and plays peek-a-boo. It looks freakish.

[Kerrie]

I had Cantaloupes pre-baby, I have milk-filled Cantaloupes now, I am afraid that once we wean I will have rotted Cantaloupes.

[Hsin]

Hell, three babies on (am nursing #3), I'd happy happy happy with a lime-orange combo. Because after weaning, I will have nothing but saggy nipples on a board. Can't even fill an AA cup. *wipes a tear*

[Kristi]

Wow, it's like looking in a mirror! My express-lane far surpasses my slow-serve side in fullness now, despite my frequent attempts to bring in more supply on the lime side. I have given up hope of evening it out. Makes me think that chick in American Beauty was way over-reacting.

[Kristin]

Ha ha. I kid you not, I just looked in the mirror before sitting down with my laptop, wondering if mine would return to the same size when I am done nursing. Can I only hope?

[Jenny]

What the hell happened to mine??? I used to have two oranges, that grew to grapefruits when I breastfed, and now I literally have two deflated balloons. Literally, nothing left. It's so sad..... I should have a memorial service or something...

[marti]

parallel lives. nuff said. the orange side is looking pretty good. poor lime.

[Jenny]

Here by way of Suburban Turmoil and I love your blog. Your hilarious. This is so true.

[LiteralDan]

Now, try as I might, I have no experience breastfeeding babies, but might I suggest "juicing" the one side more often than the other, to even things out to maybe a nice healthy tangelo size?

Mmmmm... tangelos.

[LaShawn]

To be fair, pregnancy is the real culprit of most of our boob woes.

I have nursed four babies...and well...four pregnancies have left my balloons, oops I mean boobs deflated a tad.

[Larrisa]

It bites if you were somewhat well endowed before BFing x2, 3rd on the way - cause now I could fit several good Cuban cigars under each and get through customs no problemo - no perkiness here - well at least I don't look like I have three nipples - I recall some TV lady once joking that her's were down to her belly button after having kids - yikes - ah a lift and reduction is tempting....

[MommyNamedApril]

awwwww.... mine are more like differently sized pears :-/

[Amy]

I'd rather have that then deflated water baloons nailed to a board. But I can empathize.

[Rita's Husband]

Just glad they don't turn to muskmelon. That'd be weird...My wife is coming. I will shut down now.

[LopsidedMom]

Love it! There's a reason I go by LopsidedMom.

[Issa]

I keep wondering when someone will come up with a different size bra. That'd be pure money making gold.

[EmmieJ]

ROFL. And ROFC (crying) cuz it's so true.

[Lee-Ann]

Nursed the twin-lettes and they just don't want to shrink yet. Arg!

[sarah]

hey, if they are as round and firm as citrus fruits, then you're ahead of the game. mine are mostly under my armpits now, so quit yer bitchin :)

[dieg]

RFLMFAO!!!!!!!

[BonnieBelle]

Mine started out at oranges and have progressed to grapefruits. When I was actually breastfeeding, they were cantaloupes. I sent my best friend some pictures of us a couple of days after giving birth, and the first thing out of her mouth was, Holy crap, your boobs are huge! She is childless right now, so that explains it somewhat.

[Lolly]

In about two weeks I'll be BF'ing and that scares me to death. My boobies are the thing I like most about myself and now some little kid is going to mangle them! NOOOO!

[Mommy In Pink]

LMAO! That's great!

[Carrie]

Oh, too funny! For some reason when I was BF, I had very little supply on one side (despite lots of attempts at pumping/feeding longer there, etc), so was definitely lopsided. Hoping that it doesn't get worse with this new baby.

[amanda]

You're lookin' pretty good. I'm totally jealous, b/c it looks like we started out very similar and I ended up like this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/thenagainphoto/3351334689/sizes/m/

[becky]

and this is the exact reason (left one's bigger) why im getting a boob job this summer!

[fiona]

HEY! It's like I'm looking in the mirror!

[Amy Jo]

Isn't it funny how boobs work? Good luck with that. Some day (hopefully) I'll be going under the knife to get mine fixed.

[mothergoosemouse]

Shit, mine are a couple of prunes.

I notice that Lefty was always a little more well-endowed, though the difference is much more apparent now.

[Angela]

Hey... mine aren't that firm, and I've only nursed two kids. So jealous.

You could try making the same promise to you husband that I made to mine... a boob job after the vasectomy. Not looking so bad at the moment.

[Kelly]

Mine disappeared after weaning. They're barely a B these days. Sniff. At least you've still got one ruby red.

[jennster]

yes.. why are your boobs orange and green?

[Char]

Seriously there can't be *that* much of a difference? Oh but if ur still nursing, there can. lol@ AllisonD - that would be me in 10 years or sooner.

[Tia]

Ahh yes, my husband says they get smaller after I quit nursing each child. He always joked that if I had a 3rd baby there would be nothing left but nipples.... and then the bonus baby came along. He's 17 months and I plan on nursing until I can afford a boob job. Ok maybe not, but boy will I miss these babies!

[tara wesely]

awesome visuals, and so much (for me) to look forward to, sigh.

all the more reason to enjoy the boobies i've never had (until now).

[psumommy]

My daughter is a one-sided nurser, so it is obvious to any bystander which side is coming up next. So far, though, after each weaning (3 so far, on the 4th now) mine have bounced right back to how they were in the first place. I find it interesting that now, after YEARS of being envious of women with actual breasts, I can't WAIT to have my almost-A's back.

[tng]

Couldn't you have at least put them in a couple of knee-highs, so we could get a picture of teh droopage??

[Stephanie]

TOO FUNNY!

[Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com]

LOL!!!!! Awesome visual instruction =)

[Lee of MWOB]

Holy crap. Amen. I'm so with you and who knows what the final final situation will be as my 21-month- old lil' dude will not get off my boobs!!

[Michelle]

My daughter told me the other day that my boobs almost touch my knees... Real Nice! I told her it was from her and her sisters feeding off of them that is probably why at four she has decided to adopt.

[Heather]

Wow yours are still that perky? Mine look more like water balloons.

[TheFeministBreeder]

I'm one of those lucky bitches whose body actually looks a little better after two kids - according to the Husband. The Husband likes how it filled me out... and even likes what it did to the chest area.

But... I guess he likes girls with tank asses and saggy titties, cause that's what I see when I look in the mirror.

[Karen]

Oh great...can't wait.

[croutonboy]

Your kids will never have scurvy!

[LOD]

So now you can use one to garnish a gin and tonic? Cool.

[Fairly Odd Mother]

Great visual! Give it some time, you may find your oranges come back eventually!

And, I used to say I'd NEVER get plastic surgery, but I have since taken that statement back after I heard I could be left with two empty balloons hanging off my chest. Surgery would be on the table if that happened.

[Mom101]

Well, there are things you can do about that. The question is, would you rather be a 34 orange or a 34 lime?

[Poppy Buxom]

I'd have to post a picture of a trash bag with two basketballs in it.

I think I'll spare the internet. For once.

[Adrienne S]

That is so true. Although my youngest of three is fiveyrs old and they have evened back out. There is hope.

[mannequin]

Is this what they mean when they say "sucked the life right out of"?

[brad]

aren't you supposed to move the baby from one boob to the other every once in awhile?

[ShoozieShoes]

Hey, at least they are still round, though independently sized...

[Laura]

Ummm ... at least they're still firm and pointing upwards?

Mine too looked like the top picture pre breastfeeding. Now, well, theyhang a foot lower, like two bags of wet washing.

[AllisonD]

OMG, that was one of the best visuals ever. For me you would have to replace your orange and lime combo with a set of pancakes. yuck

[megumi]

I wasn't sure that I could get any flatter, but after nursing two the body proved that it could and would.

[Kristi]

Nothing that a little plastic surgery won't fix.......not that I'd do that!!
haha