« Moms Against Minivans |
| There's a sucker born every minute »
These were my boobs.
These are my boobs after breastfeeding three babies. Any questions?
Posted at 05:00 AM in Mom Rants | Permalink
TrackBack URL for this entry:http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83451c83069e2011168f003e2970c
Listed below are links to weblogs that reference The Real Victims of Motherhood:
You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.
I have been breastfeeding for over a year don't know what I'll be left with but I do not think it's going to be good! what about the scratches though? nobody has mentioned that! is it just my little girl using my breasts as a scratching post??????
flip flops make me happy |
February 24, 2010 at 11:59 PM
Could be worse. Could be a zucchini and two kiwi's. That would be awkward in a bikini.
Jenny, Bloggess |
April 04, 2009 at 08:35 AM
Tee hee hee. They're not saggy enough to be mine.
Winks & Smiles,
March 17, 2009 at 11:29 PM
At least they're both still looking at me. I can't say the same for mine...
Miss Grace |
March 17, 2009 at 07:09 PM
I thought I was the only woman on earth who could not longer wear deep-plunge bras. Lefty is bigger than righty and plays peek-a-boo. It looks freakish.
Karen (Submommy) |
March 16, 2009 at 02:09 PM
I had Cantaloupes pre-baby, I have milk-filled Cantaloupes now, I am afraid that once we wean I will have rotted Cantaloupes.
March 16, 2009 at 10:20 AM
Hell, three babies on (am nursing #3), I'd happy happy happy with a lime-orange combo. Because after weaning, I will have nothing but saggy nipples on a board. Can't even fill an AA cup. *wipes a tear*
March 15, 2009 at 11:59 AM
Wow, it's like looking in a mirror! My express-lane far surpasses my slow-serve side in fullness now, despite my frequent attempts to bring in more supply on the lime side. I have given up hope of evening it out. Makes me think that chick in American Beauty was way over-reacting.
March 15, 2009 at 03:20 AM
Ha ha. I kid you not, I just looked in the mirror before sitting down with my laptop, wondering if mine would return to the same size when I am done nursing. Can I only hope?
March 14, 2009 at 11:41 PM
What the hell happened to mine??? I used to have two oranges, that grew to grapefruits when I breastfed, and now I literally have two deflated balloons. Literally, nothing left. It's so sad..... I should have a memorial service or something...
March 14, 2009 at 09:22 PM
parallel lives. nuff said. the orange side is looking pretty good. poor lime.
March 14, 2009 at 06:58 PM
Here by way of Suburban Turmoil and I love your blog. Your hilarious. This is so true.
March 14, 2009 at 05:43 PM
Now, try as I might, I have no experience breastfeeding babies, but might I suggest "juicing" the one side more often than the other, to even things out to maybe a nice healthy tangelo size?
March 14, 2009 at 03:08 AM
To be fair, pregnancy is the real culprit of most of our boob woes.
I have nursed four babies...and well...four pregnancies have left my balloons, oops I mean boobs deflated a tad.
March 13, 2009 at 10:16 PM
It bites if you were somewhat well endowed before BFing x2, 3rd on the way - cause now I could fit several good Cuban cigars under each and get through customs no problemo - no perkiness here - well at least I don't look like I have three nipples - I recall some TV lady once joking that her's were down to her belly button after having kids - yikes - ah a lift and reduction is tempting....
March 13, 2009 at 09:41 PM
awwwww.... mine are more like differently sized pears :-/
March 13, 2009 at 08:55 PM
I'd rather have that then deflated water baloons nailed to a board. But I can empathize.
March 13, 2009 at 08:37 PM
Just glad they don't turn to muskmelon. That'd be weird...My wife is coming. I will shut down now.
Rita's Husband |
March 13, 2009 at 08:19 PM
Love it! There's a reason I go by LopsidedMom.
March 13, 2009 at 07:14 PM
I keep wondering when someone will come up with a different size bra. That'd be pure money making gold.
March 13, 2009 at 05:27 PM
ROFL. And ROFC (crying) cuz it's so true.
March 13, 2009 at 04:29 PM
Nursed the twin-lettes and they just don't want to shrink yet. Arg!
March 13, 2009 at 04:03 PM
hey, if they are as round and firm as citrus fruits, then you're ahead of the game. mine are mostly under my armpits now, so quit yer bitchin :)
March 13, 2009 at 03:43 PM
March 13, 2009 at 03:33 PM
Mine started out at oranges and have progressed to grapefruits. When I was actually breastfeeding, they were cantaloupes. I sent my best friend some pictures of us a couple of days after giving birth, and the first thing out of her mouth was, Holy crap, your boobs are huge! She is childless right now, so that explains it somewhat.
March 13, 2009 at 03:15 PM
In about two weeks I'll be BF'ing and that scares me to death. My boobies are the thing I like most about myself and now some little kid is going to mangle them! NOOOO!
March 13, 2009 at 03:09 PM
LMAO! That's great!
Mommy In Pink |
March 13, 2009 at 03:08 PM
Oh, too funny! For some reason when I was BF, I had very little supply on one side (despite lots of attempts at pumping/feeding longer there, etc), so was definitely lopsided. Hoping that it doesn't get worse with this new baby.
March 13, 2009 at 02:52 PM
You're lookin' pretty good. I'm totally jealous, b/c it looks like we started out very similar and I ended up like this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/thenagainphoto/3351334689/sizes/m/
March 13, 2009 at 02:48 PM
and this is the exact reason (left one's bigger) why im getting a boob job this summer!
March 13, 2009 at 02:45 PM
HEY! It's like I'm looking in the mirror!
March 13, 2009 at 02:45 PM
Isn't it funny how boobs work? Good luck with that. Some day (hopefully) I'll be going under the knife to get mine fixed.
Amy Jo |
March 13, 2009 at 02:38 PM
Shit, mine are a couple of prunes.
I notice that Lefty was always a little more well-endowed, though the difference is much more apparent now.
March 13, 2009 at 02:37 PM
Hey... mine aren't that firm, and I've only nursed two kids. So jealous.
You could try making the same promise to you husband that I made to mine... a boob job after the vasectomy. Not looking so bad at the moment.
March 13, 2009 at 02:22 PM
Mine disappeared after weaning. They're barely a B these days. Sniff. At least you've still got one ruby red.
March 13, 2009 at 02:17 PM
yes.. why are your boobs orange and green?
March 13, 2009 at 01:17 PM
Seriously there can't be *that* much of a difference? Oh but if ur still nursing, there can. lol@ AllisonD - that would be me in 10 years or sooner.
March 13, 2009 at 01:09 PM
Ahh yes, my husband says they get smaller after I quit nursing each child. He always joked that if I had a 3rd baby there would be nothing left but nipples.... and then the bonus baby came along. He's 17 months and I plan on nursing until I can afford a boob job. Ok maybe not, but boy will I miss these babies!
March 13, 2009 at 01:09 PM
awesome visuals, and so much (for me) to look forward to, sigh.
all the more reason to enjoy the boobies i've never had (until now).
tara wesely |
March 13, 2009 at 01:06 PM
My daughter is a one-sided nurser, so it is obvious to any bystander which side is coming up next. So far, though, after each weaning (3 so far, on the 4th now) mine have bounced right back to how they were in the first place. I find it interesting that now, after YEARS of being envious of women with actual breasts, I can't WAIT to have my almost-A's back.
March 13, 2009 at 01:05 PM
Couldn't you have at least put them in a couple of knee-highs, so we could get a picture of teh droopage??
March 13, 2009 at 12:47 PM
March 13, 2009 at 12:26 PM
LOL!!!!! Awesome visual instruction =)
Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com |
March 13, 2009 at 12:12 PM
Holy crap. Amen. I'm so with you and who knows what the final final situation will be as my 21-month- old lil' dude will not get off my boobs!!
Lee of MWOB |
March 13, 2009 at 12:08 PM
My daughter told me the other day that my boobs almost touch my knees... Real Nice! I told her it was from her and her sisters feeding off of them that is probably why at four she has decided to adopt.
March 13, 2009 at 12:00 PM
Wow yours are still that perky? Mine look more like water balloons.
March 13, 2009 at 12:00 PM
I'm one of those lucky bitches whose body actually looks a little better after two kids - according to the Husband. The Husband likes how it filled me out... and even likes what it did to the chest area.
But... I guess he likes girls with tank asses and saggy titties, cause that's what I see when I look in the mirror.
March 13, 2009 at 11:34 AM
Oh great...can't wait.
March 13, 2009 at 11:31 AM
Your kids will never have scurvy!
March 13, 2009 at 10:50 AM
So now you can use one to garnish a gin and tonic? Cool.
March 13, 2009 at 10:22 AM
Great visual! Give it some time, you may find your oranges come back eventually!
And, I used to say I'd NEVER get plastic surgery, but I have since taken that statement back after I heard I could be left with two empty balloons hanging off my chest. Surgery would be on the table if that happened.
Fairly Odd Mother |
March 13, 2009 at 09:32 AM
Well, there are things you can do about that. The question is, would you rather be a 34 orange or a 34 lime?
March 13, 2009 at 09:32 AM
I'd have to post a picture of a trash bag with two basketballs in it.
I think I'll spare the internet. For once.
Poppy Buxom |
March 13, 2009 at 09:27 AM
That is so true. Although my youngest of three is fiveyrs old and they have evened back out. There is hope.
Adrienne S |
March 13, 2009 at 08:37 AM
Is this what they mean when they say "sucked the life right out of"?
March 13, 2009 at 08:33 AM
aren't you supposed to move the baby from one boob to the other every once in awhile?
March 13, 2009 at 08:12 AM
Hey, at least they are still round, though independently sized...
March 13, 2009 at 08:07 AM
Ummm ... at least they're still firm and pointing upwards?
Mine too looked like the top picture pre breastfeeding. Now, well, theyhang a foot lower, like two bags of wet washing.
March 13, 2009 at 08:05 AM
OMG, that was one of the best visuals ever. For me you would have to replace your orange and lime combo with a set of pancakes. yuck
March 13, 2009 at 08:02 AM
I wasn't sure that I could get any flatter, but after nursing two the body proved that it could and would.
March 13, 2009 at 07:45 AM
Nothing that a little plastic surgery won't fix.......not that I'd do that!!
March 13, 2009 at 07:21 AM
This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.
The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.
As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.
Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.
(URLs automatically linked.)
(Name and email address are required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)
Name is required to post a comment
Please enter a valid email address