When Drew was born, Quinlan went through the typical growing pains that generally accompany adding another baby to the family. But since Margot has arrived and become pretty darn cute, it's been a lot more difficult for her to adjust to being the big girl.
I'm not sure whether it's because Margot is a girl, or because Quinlan is just older now and she can process the change, but either way, she's feeling the effects of being the oldest.
Even though we do our best to give personalized time to each one, we're still stretched thin. And early on, one of us was always holding Margot, so while we tried to focus our attention on the older two, we'd still have a baby with us.
I'm pretty sure we missed half of everything she was saying. And I know we probably responded to almost everything with "Oh that's so cool, honey" - permanent marker art, sinks overflowing with water and bubbles, and who knows what else we waved away.
Truth is, we had a hard time adjusting too.
We expect a lot out of her, not just because she's the oldest, but because she's super responsible, and always has been. And in turn, she's pretty hard on herself, getting overly upset when she can't do something, or when she messes things up.
"I'm afraid you're not going to like me" she says spitefully, just loud enough so we can hear her when she makes a bad choice. "I don't think you want me to be your daughter anymore" she told us after being sent to her room for talking back.
It stings every time.
When she shoots her word darts at me, I tell that it's okay to be angry, but it's certainly not true. I remind her that it's hard to be the oldest, but it's also pretty cool, since she'll get to do a lot of things first - reading, riding bikes, sitting in the front seat, even driving.
And I tell her that I was the oldest too, and that I know what it's like. "Little brothers" we'll say to each other, with a knowing sigh.
But it hurts to watch her look longingly as people dote over Margot when we're out. She'll dance around and talk their ear off if they let her. "Look at me!!!!" she seems to say, with her bright smile and arabesque in the middle of the store. "I'm really cute too."
And she is. She's smart, beautiful, funny, and charming. And they couldn't ask for a better big sister.
And I couldn't ask for a better oldest daughter.