Yesterday after asking my daughter with whom she was having a full on conversation, I discovered we are no longer just a family of five.
"My be-tend friends,"she replied.
Now I should say that our adopted daughters Kinsa and Rosha have been around for a few years now, scaring the shit out of college kids at the grocery store. But they've never done more than ride in the back seat of our car or get blamed for spilling juice on the brand new carpet.
Messy ones, those invisible friends.
They've never been worth their weight in imaginary snot, which is fine. I can deal with the extra not real mouths to not really feed and all, but it would be nice if they carried their load around this place.
The invisible toilet doesn't clean itself, you know.
But now with my son's new friend "Monster," we've got more than a houseful live and imaginary creatures. And they're darn well going to earn their keep.
At first, Drew was complaining about the scary monster chasing him through the house and taking his toys, which requires way more time and energy from me.
I have three kids. I don't need to be putting an invisible monster in time out every ten minutes.
But then I figured it out - the most brilliant "you can't sell it but really wish you could" parenting plan of the century. Or probably week, but don't burst my bubble just yet.
Because as it turns out, my little bright eyed two year old, who has taken to using the word "no" like a Guido and his hair gel and has decided to torture us to death with whining, listens to Monster.
And so guess what? Monster has been telling him to finish his sandwich. And clean up his toys. And be nice to his sister.
And Monster keeps him company at bedtime.
[Side note: Where can I get a "monster" for my husband?]
So I'm thinking that Monster is going to have to tell him to use the potty, particularly for the two year old poops that should not really ever see anything but the inside of the toilet bowl.
Seriously, I hate to pat my back and all, but you've got to admit that this is just a little taste of genius right here.