Super Nanny - Eat Your Heart Out

Yesterday after asking my daughter with whom she was having a full on conversation, I discovered we are no longer just a family of five.

"My be-tend friends,"she replied.

Now I should say that our adopted daughters Kinsa and Rosha have been around for a few years now, scaring the shit out of college kids at the grocery store. But they've never done more than ride in the back seat of our car or get blamed for spilling juice on the brand new carpet.

Messy ones, those invisible friends.

They've never been worth their weight in imaginary snot, which is fine. I can deal with the extra not real mouths to not really feed and all, but it would be nice if they carried their load around this place.

The invisible toilet doesn't clean itself, you know.

But now with my son's new friend "Monster," we've got more than a houseful live and imaginary creatures. And they're darn well going to earn their keep.

At first, Drew was complaining about the scary monster chasing him through the house and taking his toys, which requires way more time and energy from me.

I have three kids. I don't need to be putting an invisible monster in time out every ten minutes.

But then I figured it out - the most brilliant "you can't sell it but really wish you could" parenting plan of the century. Or probably week, but don't burst my bubble just yet.

Because as it turns out, my little bright eyed two year old, who has taken to using the word "no" like a Guido and his hair gel and has decided to torture us to death with whining, listens to Monster.

And so guess what? Monster has been telling him to finish his sandwich. And clean up his toys. And be nice to his sister.

And Monster keeps him company at bedtime.

[Side note: Where can I get a "monster" for my husband?]

So I'm thinking that Monster is going to have to tell him to use the potty, particularly for the two year old poops that should not really ever see anything but the inside of the toilet bowl.

Seriously, I hate to pat my back and all, but you've got to admit that this is just a little taste of genius right here.

Comments

[DefendUSA]

I think I found you via DGM.
My sister had be-tend friends. They were Macrucci, and Maquah. (She rolled her tongue when she said Macrucci)! They were twins and did everything with us. She is a relatively normal adult, now...ahem! :)

[Jen]

My daughter has so many imaginary friends, I cannot keep track of them all. LOL! I hope she is not Sybil!

[funkimunkii]

wait! do your kids watch Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends? It's really cute - about an orphanage for imaginary friends.

anyway...my daughter talked to my dead mother. And apparently I also talked to some ghost that lived upstairs in my grandmother's house. We think it was a ghost because 2 kids after me had the EXACT SAME FRIEND, in the exact same room.

[Brigetta]

I used to have imaginary friends when I was a kid-Francine and Denny. My big sister once threw them out the window of my dad's truck. He had to pull over and pick them up off of the road so I would stop screaming! Good Daddy.

[fiona]

lmao ... my oldest had JAPANESE imaginary friend named Mei!! ???? huh? Good for you!!

[momranoutscreaming]

mom ingenuity at it's best!Roll with it.

[Mom101]

Your kids are brilliant! My kids have no imaginary friends but Sage does like to call "Melmo" on the phone. I'm going to try the old "Melmo wants you to eat something not beige" trick and see how that works.

[Lady M]

So awesome!

My son introduced me to the monster who lives in the closet and provides marshmallows for treats. Um, ok, sure.

[Mocha Dad]

Absolutely brilliant!

[Kay]

That really is clever of you!

I had an imaginary friend when I was little, a husband named Bitty. He tried to stab me with a plastic fork once. I know ... cuckoo. :) haha!

[Stacy Quarty]

Monsters are good... as long as they don't jump up out of the rocking chair, fly out the window and then stare back at you with red glowing eyes. (Scene with Jodi, the imaginary friend and the daughter in the Amityville Horror.)

[Melanie]

You're a genius! I never thought of getting the pride of Restaurant Lions, or now the super-jumping frogs, to tell Cameron to do stuff. Usually I ask Cameron to set an example for them, and get him to behave that way.

Oh, and instead of time outs, badly behaved lions get 'counted off' (a la 1-2-3 magic) then get grabbed by the mane and tail and tossed out a window.

[mannequin]

Wow. You're like some kind of mom-guru.
Seriously, how long do you think you can pull the wool over that child's discerning eye? Think about that missy.
How will you feel when the truth is uncovered?
Witty mom, crafty mom or liar mom?
:)

[Elaine at Lipstickdaily]

You ARE a genius! Hopefully monster won't advise her to smash her peas into the carpet anytime soon.

[mothergoosemouse]

I just keep thinking of Charlize Theron. It's not a pretty picture.

[Issa]

I'd say, use it for as long as he'll buy it.

[Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com]

Well done!

I think you just have to hope that Drew doesn't suddenly learn how to speak Monster-glish. If he does, good luck with the potty training =)

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Scout's Honor -- Good point...

[Scout's Honor]

Good luck. Let's hope Monster doesn't have a devilish side.

[Jill]

That is awesome!!! Rocco has an imaginary big brother (with a whole back story, I should really blog about it some day, it's quite impressive if I do say so myself), but Alvin and the Chipmunks (all three of them) often visit our house, as well. But none of them seem to hold sway over him, so I'm not sure i could make them work to my advantage. I am constantly amazed at the conviction with which kids develop and stick to these elaborate play stories, though. They really believe these things are real and that's pretty incredible.

[katie]

My mother tells a similar story of me and my imaginary friend named Bobby.

I outsmarted her by announcing one day that Bobby had moved to Idaho.

[Sarah]

I totally need a Monster for my kids. Will you rent him out?

[CJ]

You should rent out Monster....for real.

[Awesome Mom]

Enjoy it while it lasts.

[Juli]

LOL at "Guido and his hair gel"!

[Sheila]

Brilliant!

[Kristen]

How did you manage to get Monster to tell him to do all those wonderful things??? Must. Know.

[Ruth]

You crack me up! Have an awesome day.

[heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire]

That IS genius!