Safety first

Considering sex is hardly a convenient activity these days, adding condoms into the mix shouldn't make it that much more complicated.

And yet, the whining. Oh the whining.

As you know, I've left the birth control situation up to my husband, since I'm afraid of IUDs, and don't act so favorably (try rabid animal on crack) with birth control pills.

And since the V word, especially thanks to the dramatic interpretation, has been banned from our household for awhile, it's condoms.

So tell me, moms and dads, are you one of those whiners? Or do you do your civic, baby preventing duty and use them with ease?

You can chat and listen live as we discuss this on Morning Sex with Mominatrix from 10:30am EST to 10:45am. And if you can't make it, you can always click the archives (left side) or make sure to catch it on your iPod via iTunes.

And I'll actually be talking about all sorts of birth control method at Mominatrix tomorrow, everyone's favorite (okay, or maybe just mine) sex column for parents. I'd love for you to stop by and let me know what you use and if you like it (or not). Plus you might be able to win some free stuff too!

Comments

[Aubrey Anne]

My husband is all for the condom plan, but I am a whiner about it. I'm not a fan! However, I'm also not a fan of horrible 9-month pregnancies filled with hospitalizations and horrific morning sickness... or emergency c-sections due to my husband's gigantic-sized head genes...

Sure wish I'd learned my lesson with the last baby and put up with the damn condom idea. Instead, I'm right smack in the middle of my 3rd "unplanned" pregnancy, "morning" sickness and all.

[Olivia]

I'm usually on the pill, but when we need to use condoms my husband doesn't complain. I, however, do. It's just so weird to use them with my husband. Makes me feel like a teenager, and not in a good way.

[SabrinaT]

After 3 boys the husband decided to have the big V. He goes in Next week....

[kate2.0]

I'm allergic to latex, so with non-latex condoms I don't have to deal with the gross rubber smell or taste. We use them every time, and frankly, it's just not a big deal at all. Clean-up is easy, too.

I think a guy who whines about using condoms is being a total self-centered ass. Especially when his partner can't/doesn't want to use the pill, and she already put her body through hell to have children. Jesus, stop being such a baby, dude - same goes for the V. Condom vs unwanted pregnancy? No contest - so NOT worth the risk.

[Magda]

Saw this article in my local paper and it made me chuckle!

http://www.statesman.com/news/content/news/stories/local/03/06/0306kelso.html?cxtype=rss&cxsvc=7&cxcat=52

Does your husband like basketball?!

[Michelle]

We use condoms here. I think *I* mind more than the husband does. He's going to get a vasectomy if he ever calls for the appointment (with him it's more an issue of taking the time off of work for the appointments rather than a fear of the procedure).

[Issa]

I used to do the pill....but now it makes me crazier than I am now, which isn't a good combination.

We are going the condom route at the moment. We're thinking of having one more babee, so no V yet. But when the time comes, he'll begrudgingly do it. Cause I'll make him.

Condoms? Eh, I'm not a huge fan, but it's better than not having sex. Which is the choice, because I get pregnant easily.

[heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire]

I am lucky that we don't have to worry about it anymore as hubby had the Big V done over 11 years ago while I was still cooking The chicken.

[Sharon]

Another vote for the nuvaring here! I'm a raving bipolar lunatic on any dose of the pill but the nuvaring keeps me sane and did great things for my sex drive as well... Can't wait to wean the munchkin so I can go back to the ring and get off this horrible low dose mini-pill. Hubby was a trooper with condoms for a few months post baby but they quickly went buh-bye.

[Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com]

I vote no on the pulling out. More than one kid has happened that way.

Anyway, we always used a calendar. My body doesn't lend itself well to birth control pills or patches, the doctor recommended against IUDs and other more invasive forms of female contraception, and the condoms actually gave me a painful rash. BUT we endured the rash and creams until we decided that we'd be okay if we conceived before giving them up altogether. Why risk it if you aren't ready or if a child is not what you want?

The calendar method worked out well for us, but to be fair, I advocate it as much as I do the pulling out method. Which is, not at all. More than one kid has happened that way too.

And on that note, I should point out that I'm not pregnant because our method failed. I'm pregnant because we graduated from "we'd be okay if" to "we really want a family."

Good luck. If I were you, I'd tell him to suck it up. You've done your side of things and neither option is viable for you. He can take his pick of which he prefers: condoms or the vasectomy.

[Georgette]

What about the ring? I love Nuvaring!

[Kimberly]

I have the Mirena IUD and LOVE IT! I have had no period for 6 months! I am not a raving lunatic on it either!(like on BCPs) Why are you afraid of IUDs?

[Michelle]

I really liked the nuvaring but I am breastfeeding now so we aren't currently using any form of birth control. But the sex has been pretty non-existent because we are too busy adjusting to life with three kids. I will be sending the hubby in for the big V very soon... I had three c-sections it's the very least he can do. I don't care much about his whining over the pain either he is just going to have to suck it up!

[J from Ireland]

We use condoms, yes he has a slight whinge but would rather use one than add more to our family. Like your Hubs he is terrified of the big V, fucking scare mongers!!

[sipalittletea]

We both suck it up and use them, but we both hate them. Ortho-tri-lo works great for me but I'm bf so its a no-go and the progesterone only made me horribly depressed. We can't wait until I wean and go back on the pill.... weeee!

[Karen (Submommy)]

Count me in the "go postal on BCP's" group.

He uses them because:

1) He doesn't seem to mind, and
2) He knows how much easier his life is when he does.

[norm]

Hated condoms: the smell, taste, pube-pulling, interruption of teh lovin's to find ze rubbers; but I sucked it up and wrapped it until our family was complete and I could get my balls disconnected, because the hormonals were sheer misery for my poor honey.

Advance family planning made a big difference here. We agreed what we were going to do rather than make it up as we went along, so it gave us something to look forward to.

[lyn]

If you have any breast cancer in your family before menopause you shouldn't use any thing with hormones in it, even the IUD.

[Katie]

How about pulling out?

[Chelle]

I actually miss condoms. I hate the mess of not using them. I'm currently on ortho-tri-lo and I actually prefer the pill and have set a daily alarm in my cell as reminder to take it.

I am considering the copper IUD that has no hormones. I do have a friend who has an IUD with hormones and she's a raving lunatic every other week. Why are you scared of IUDs? Someone you know have a bad experience?

[Jilse]

We're stuck using the dreaded condoms for who knows how long. Birth control pills make me ill and I forget to take them on time. The Nuva Ring killed my sex drive and made me lethargic. With Depo it was lethargic and hair loss.
I am just done with any kind of hormonal birth control. We're at a stalemate regarding who goes in to get permanetly fixed and our insurance doesn't cover me getting an IUD and so we're stuck with the condoms. It sucks, but I don't see a solution in the near future.

[Kendra]

I got Essure after my second. Not more babies and no more condoms. It's a win-win as far as I'm concerned. Whining about condoms so not a turn on.

[Scout's Honor]

My husband got a vasectomy-twice. The first resulted in internal bleeding, scarring, complication, and....wait for it... our third child. (chuckle) Now we kid that we can't even share the same toilet.

I do miss the condoms though. I hate the wet spot. Hate it.

[Leslie]

I LOVED my IUD (non hormonal copper one) when I had it. I had it taken out 6 months before we decided to get pregnant so we could decide without having to go to the Doc first. We used condoms until we decided to get pregnant, and we had no problems with them, ie: no whining. I actually appreciated the "less mess" approach to sex :)

[let's be anon today (since my kids googled my screen name once)]

my hubby is the exception in the condom statistics. He'd been a faithful user, following instructions to the letter, throughout his bachelor years. Even months after I'd been on the pill, he'd still pause thinking it was condom time.

Later, when we decided the pill was not healthy for me, his dedication to proper usage meant 8 baby-free years. My OG/GYN was amazed. She'd never heard of anyone going that long with just condoms without having an oops!

[Jen]

I use the Mirena IUD. Love it. Won't have to worry about BC until my baby is in kindergarten.

The big V was never, ever an option here and we both hate condoms so much that we would rather not have sex than deal with them.

I also turn into a psycho lunatic on the pill and got pregnant using Natural Family Planning.
That really only left the IUD as an option.

[skippy]

copper IUD! Paragard. gives you 10 years of peace of mind. no hormones. no psycho fat bitch. i've had one for 5 months and wish i'd gotten it 20 years ago.

[bessie.viola]

Ugh, I am the whiner in my house. I cannot abide condoms. I hate the smell, the feel, the taste. All of it is terrible.

I am crazy on all types of birth control but Levora. And so with Levora I stay. My husband will be getting the Big V once we decide we're through with children. If I have to get through c-sections, he can manage that. ;)

[Kerrie]

I must have myself a good man. That or he hated the psycho fat bitch that shows up when birth control is in the mix. My hubby has no problem wrappin' it up. He only whines because this nursing baby is sucking the life out of his sexpot wife.