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February 27, 2009


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It is known that cash makes us autonomous. But how to act when somebody doesn't have cash? The one way only is to receive the business loans and secured loan.

Here's another perspective.

I bought my son a 22 rifle when he was six. I made him memorize all of the gun safety rules. He has to recite them every time we have a gun out.

When I have my gun out, I bring him over and ask him if he would like to touch it...and have him do so until he is bored and wants to leave.

My son has no mystery of guns, has shot them (including larger guns) and has an appropriate respect of the power/danger, and knows the safety rules cold.

It would be interesting to put our sons together alone in a room with a gun and see who is curious and who will walk away.

I can guarantee you won't always be there, and having once been a boy myself, I can further guarantee he won't be able to resist. Think about what is being said in the comments - boys will make guns out of toast for God's sake.

No guns here either! People think I am trying to baby my children, but seriously, what's going to make them think there's a difference when they find a real gun?? If guns are made fun, guns are made fun, and it's simply not worth the risk. Even if you don't have a gun in your house, you never know what your kids' friends' parents are keeping around the house. After a month of sending my kids to the next-door neighbor's house my husband found out the father keeps a loaded gun on his NIGHTSTAND. His idea of safety? "Grace (his 5-year-old) knows not to touch it."

Gotta love those gendered toys. And I agree on guns!

No guns of any kind here either. But I've seen older boys (3-5) playing on playgrounds and it seems they make weapons out of anything available to them. I don't know how to stop this from happening when Myles is older. Is it because of being exposed to toy weapons or seeing cartoon violence or is this just innate behavior?

I don't allow guns at our house, either. I'm doing my best to teach my kids that killing is wrong. They'll be exposed to guns and violence soon enough, and for now, I'd like them to have time to be kids.

Finally someone who doesn't think I'm a complete nutjob for wanting to keep my kids away from any type of gun, play or real, for as long as possible...geeez.

And, by the way, you don't appear to need to lose weight at all...you looked really good if you asked me. Not in that kind of way, but you know, you had a baby and you look great kind of way, crap, let me shut up before I end up saying something stupid..oops too late.

I'm late to comment but I'm with you on the 'no guns' thing. But, I can't say I'm against "violent play" per se. But, let me clarify: We have friends we see weekly---the mom is also VERY anti-gun, the kids watch hardly any tv, and they are nice, sweet kids. And, ohmygod, the son, who is 5, has become obsessed with weapons. He uses everything as a sword, a bow/arrow, even gun. When the kids get together, they recreate historic battles or play "knight vs knight" (what can I say, I have nerdy homeschool kids). Some of their play looks quite violent but no one is punched, hit or hurt. They fence/duel, shoot each other with their handmade 'weaponry' and us moms sit back, shake our heads and say "how did they learn this?"

I blame my husband who plays Lego Star Wars with my 4yo son. My son sees every "Nerf" rifle and super soaker and goes nuts, but they aren't coming into this house.

Not sure how I feel about guns. Thank gawd I have a girl. Although she will probably want to tote an uzi around now that I said that.

When I hear about the gun issue, I'm always grateful that I have two girls who so far don't have a passion for weaponry.

I couldn't deal with the guns either.

Try as might- anything was fair game for a gun when my 3 boys (now 27, 24, and 20) were little- sticks, legos, dolls. I was very concerned and made a very big deal about no guns in the house. I don't even know how/when they learned about them in my no TV house...But they quickly grew out of it. Now that they are grown they are very peaceful, I know they'd never use a gun.

i'm so with you on the gun thing. i have four boys... when my in laws heard i don't do guns they rolled their eyes & said "with 4 boys? ya right"

Yes. Right. My house, My rules!!


Being from the NRA-loving South, guns are a reality I can't ignore in my household. Hunting, to my husband, is a God-given gift. That said, we don't have any toy guns in the house (luck of the draw having two girls), but we're already teaching gun safety to my oldest and she's been allowed to see my husband shoot his gun so she's aware of the power it holds... Oh, and for the record, all guns are locked in a gun safe and unloaded, before you think they're mounted to the back of the truck windshield (this is Texas, after all).
As for the squirty toys - I never even thought of them as guns, but then again, I can't focus on much other than that my kids like to drink the bath water from them. Yeah. Like it's freakin' wine from the heavens.
Have an awesome day!

Apparently my comment was not lost after all. Hooray for redundancy.

Oh man, just lost my entire comment!

Look, my kid is two. Like anything else, as he gets older, we'll educate and explain and take things that way.

But I disagree with the notion that this is instinctual. My son doesn't really watch that much tv, we don't play the shoot-em-up games, and he doesn't pretend that things are guns.

Kids see it from other kids, or on tv, or on video games, and then they play it. I do not believe they're just born with it.

So, like anything else -- including drugs, alcohol, sex, whatever -- it's our perogative to ban (and hi, it's illegal til a certain age). I'm pretty sure I'm not going to let my kids pretend play sniffing coke. Why is okay to pretend play with guns?

I guess you could say the same thing about drugs and alcohol though, Katie. My feeling is that for now, they are off limits. he's two...

Like anything else, we'll educate and explain and take things step by step as he gets older.

I just don't get why it's so terrible for kids not to pretend play with violence. I think we've "normalized" a lot of things for generations, so when people say "hell no - no way" it's like "huh?" "It's instinctual" -- eh, I tend to not believe that a kid (like mine who's never seen guns really, etc.) would know to pick up a stick and pretend. THEY SEE IT - from other kids, on television, etc.)

To me, there's just no need.

So for now, it's no guns.

I have a 6 year old boy and we have a no guns rule that has never been violated. When his lego set came with toy guns, he dropped them on the floor and asked me to throw them away. It's that simple. We've taught him from the very beginning that if you see something that looks like a gun you are never to touch it and you need to get help from an adult. When he was 4, we had a family member police officer come over and give him a chat. He was very graphic and explicit. That was the very end of the gun chat.

He plays swords, lightsabers and whatever. It's unlikely that he'll find a real sword in a neighbor's closet and mess with it. That's always been my line.

I'm not down with guns so much, and in her 5+ years of life my daughter hasn't asked to play with them, other than the times when her little boy friends have brought them to her attention. I thought about making a "no guns in the house" policy... but my hubby's in the Army, so hello?

Even though we don't own one and technically he hasn't even shot one in a couple years, we still see guys walking around with pistols and rifles when we go on base where we live. My daughter can identify the different branches of the military by the type of camo uniforms they wear, and we see helicopters and fighter jets flying overhead all the time. It's a part of our life.

Our (amended) policy on guns is (1) nothing that looks like a real gun in the house and (2) if they're pretending to shoot things, they can shoot objects, but never people or animals. Not even for pretend, without projectile water or whatnot.

gosh, i haven't even thought about this yet. my son is 10 months old and reading this post led me to think "oh shit. this is what's coming up?!" growing up with a younger brother who played with cars most of the time, guns simply weren't in my parent's household, but i don't think it was because they weren't allowed... the desire from the kids just wasn't there. my husband and his younger brother grew up playing war in the backyard with toy guns... this will be a fun conversation for us... yikes!

I'm sure this won't be received well... but as the mother of a 14 year old boy, I gave up on the no guns policy LONG ago. It seems almost instinctual for them, and I'm of the mindset that you can fight it, or use it to your advantage. I chose the latter. My son has a healthy respect for guns, as well as serious knowledge about how they work and what they can do. He also has his own hunting rifle, that was given to him as a gift at age 10, and a Korean war rifle passed down 3 generations to him. Until he's of age, those are MY guns - and not something he has access to. He knows the rules, and he has never broken them. Guns are not toys, and taking the time to teach him that, as well as how to use them properly with adult supervision, has made him much less fascinated with them than his friends. I've caught him lecturing a few friends on just how serious guns are - in a very adult and responsible manner. If he wants to target practice, he comes to me or his father so that the gun can be brought out and the shooting can be supervised. This year he'll be taking his first NRA class on gun basics. We can't choose what our kids will find interesting or fascinating - so I think it's our job to make sure it's done safely and responsibly.
But, I'm also an NRA supporter with my own 9mm and Concealed Weapons Permit, so I know my views aren't shared by many.

Aren't you afraid that you will make guns more enticing by banning them completely?

Oh this is such a hot button issue with us. Frankly, I'm freaked out when my daughter stabs me with a weiner dog balloon and says GOTCHA!

So no guns here either.

Our hopes and dreams of a gun-free household were crushed when my boys were big enough to build guns from legos. that's like, 3 years old. duplo guns. the shame. tennis rackets became uzis or however you spell them. i still don't buy them, but the book "the wonder of boys" has a whole chapter on how boys need to play with guns. ijust tell them that if it were real, all this pirating/cowboying/shooting games would really, really hurt someone and even kill someone. as long as they know the consequences of their actions, i want to trust them with their instincs.

Haha at Christina and Funkimunkii -- Perhaps it's that we don't often see light sabres killing children in the news?

I certainly get that at some point they will get the "exposure" to guns, but I don't think means we have to give in. I'm certainly not NOT going to talk to my kids about them.

I just don't think a two year old needs a freaking rocket gun. OR a gigantic water oozie. (And I know that's spelled incorrectly).

I ham happy to read all these comments by American people who adopt a no-gun policy. Maybe it's a sign that times are changing at last! Your blog is the first I read every morning from Italy

I haven't come upon this problem yet, as I have a one year old daughter. However, my neighbor has a rule about guns and toys that "become" guns.

He is not allowed to point them at people, nor is he allowed to "shoot" people.

Her basic rule is, no aggression toward other people because he's got a mean streak as wide as the Grand Canyon.

It's rough, but stick to your *ahem* guns. I don't approve of the behavior either, and will not tolerate it should my daughter ever have the inclination!

i was the exact same way. no guns, but yes to light sabers. dueling with energy fields derived from the force just seemed much more reasonable.

My household is also gun-free. Now swords and lightsabers? Those are totally OK, since daddy has them.

I guess as long as the weapon gives the other person a fighting chance, it's fine with us?

"my kids have stolen a teeny mini water gun...."

Quack quack. :)


Things get "lost" all the time in my house - especially when I don't approve of them.

Winks & Smiles,

I'm with you--that toy would've become "lost" in my house very quickly.

We have a non gun policy too. And offensive toys that mysteriously disappear. Of course, you have to remember the coffee grounds on top of the offensive toys in the trash to prevent them from mysteriously reappearing as a result of "thrifty" husbands. Did you MEAN to throw this away?

We had a no gun policy in my house in the beginning. I grew up in a house without guns and have always disliked guns.

That being said, you can't stop them from playing guns. We didn't have any guns and my son wasn't exposed to anything with guns (early on he watched nothing but PBS) but that didn't stop him from picking up sticks and pretending to shoot. He was really young too, I guess he must have picked it up from the neighborhood kids. Don't know.

Then not too long ago, my mom gets him some pirate stuff as a gift and part of it was A (toy)GUN. My mother raised me to be anti-gun but what does she do? She give one to my son (only a play one, but still). I said to her, "Are you going senile? A gun?"

My husband still talks fondly of childhood days playing with GI Joe and pretending to be real army guys, running around with guns. He doesn't own a gun now. I think I even played army once or twice with my brother and his friends. Despite these things, I'm not a fan of guns as toys either. But mainly the realistic looking kind. If I have my choice those won't be a toy in my house. I will admit I'm not opposed to water guns and other ones that look like brightly colored "toys". I even gave my husband a "Marshmallow Popper" gun for Christmas. Soft ammo that doesn't mark the walls and you can eat it after you are done playing!

I love having various "squirters" when I was a kid. Upgraded to a pellet gun as a teen. Then upgraded to a 9mm when I hit 24 and was out of college.

I'm the aunt who buys the annoying flashing lights loud noise plastic guns :)

At my house I currently have a no gun policy, and any family members who send toys know about it! (same goes for my no-camo, no-poison-symbol policies for clothes)

As my son grows older I'll lift it. Why? Let's face it, he's gonna play with them, they are a part of even our society in Canada. BUT I will not allow this until he is old enough to understand complex rules and to have control. As in, no pointing guns, even toy guns, at people. Ever ever ever. No looks-like-real guns.

my fighter pilot hubby and i disagree on a fair number of things and this is one. the day i moved in, the urban outfitters pop art gun on a canvas moved out. may i borrow your 2nd amendment line?

We also had a no gun policy at our house. One day when we were running around, my then 4 year old son said he would like to take a gun and shoot the helecopter he had just seen out of the sky. I freaked out.

When I told a good friend what had happened and that I was concerned about having a child with such violent tendencies, she laughed and suggested that I read Killing Monsters.

It's a boring read, but the author explains how such behavior is normal and important for the delvelopment of testosterone in boys. He also explains how that kind of behavior is a way for boys to verbalize their desire to control their environment - sort of like being a super hero. I realize it's the opinion of just one expert, but it made sense to me.

I still don't like it, but I don't get so freaked out any more. When they get guns as gifts, our kids know that they have to play with them outside. Guns aren't as much fun when all of your ammo is stuck in a tree. Just my way of having a little gun control!

You know what we used for 'water pistols/squirters'? The empty palmolive or any other old fashioned dishwashing bottle. We'd have all the parents on our block save their used up ones and we'd fill them with water, unscrew the cap a little, and squirt them at each other instead of bought rubbish. They worked great too!

My two year old son is so far just obsessed with tools, guitars and microphones. I dread the day I'm going to have to grapple with the gun issue. And I know that day is coming, because my mom is showing over-gifting tendencies regarding both the nature and number of presents she hands out to the grandkids. Must prepare myself.

I admire the fact that you stood your ground!!!

My husband and I are both members of the NRA. We both have our concealed handgun license. We both have a handgun that we carry. And we have an almost 2 yr old and another one on the way.

However, even with that, I prefer my son to not play with guns either. But I am not opposed to the water guns. We had a pool party for his 1st birthday, and although he wasn't real into it, the adults loved them. I think that it is all about how you teach them to be around guns. I grew up around them, and I am not a bad person. I have never shot anyone.

But everyone is entitled to their own opinion and parenting, so I don't look down or judge anyone for not wanting to have guns or play guns in their home.

I tried to forbid the guns too. My sons did just as everyone else's did, they made them out of anything they could.

Call me lazy, but I finally gave up.

I completely agree. I've had a no gun policy for ages, long before getting pregnant... I don't like them, I don't want them in my house and I have the final say on that particular area. There are very few areas I am so passionate about so it really isn't an argument with us. It'll be interesting how things turn once our little guy is able to talk.

We don't let our twins have guns, swords, shooters or anything that shoots. When they get around their cousins, that DO have guns and plenty of them, that is ALL my son plays with. He is obsessed.
I chose to think it is because it is a forbidden item not because he wants to mame me.

My older brother turned everything into guns, though our mom hated guns and wouldn't, at first, allow toy versions (or real versions for that matter) in the house. Eventually, after every block and whatever became a gun she gave up. He continued to play commando through his teen years, dressing up in camo with fake uzis and running around the woods with his friends "shooting" each other... now at 30 he's the state-wide director for the Youth Peace Alliance and regularly speaks on behalf of the Dept. of Peace. He will not allow his children to play with guns when he has them. I don't know what it is with boys and guns but they do grow out of it. Most of the time.

Give up. While I completely agree with you, I tried exactly what you're trying and it doesn't work. They began to lie to me when they'd played with guns at friends' homes and I decided the lying was worse. They turn every stick, Swiffer piece!, ruler and yes, toast into a gun. My kids have never seen anything violent on tv (they hardly watch it) and they still automatically play with gun type toys. I still refuse to buy any that look like real guns, but I gave up on the squirt guns last year.

I've decided that playing violently does not mean they will become violent people. I talk about how Bad Guys have mommies too. And when Bad Guys get shot, their mommies cry. I've explained how bad guns can be and how they might not recognize a real one and think it was a toy. But when it comes down to it, I can't make the gun play stop. The best I can do is teach them right from wrong and trust them. Drew is still young, but he won't stop playing guns just because you toss the MIL's toy.

My best friends allow my "nephew" to watch Daddy play Halo. Now my amazing, intelligent, awesome 4-year old nephew is OBSESSED with running around shooting and killing people. If he shoots you and you don't immediately keel over with a death grimace on your face? "HEY! I SHOOTED YOU! YOU HAFTA BE DEAD NOW, CUZ I KILLLLLLLED YOU!!!"

I don't like it. But he's not my kid, so what can I do?

My husband would probably KILL me if I wrote on a public forum what I'm thinking right now, but there is no 2nd amendment in my house either. AMEN!

Great job. My sister bought my son a gun for Christmas, despite our pleas for people to avoid guns. My family is a family of hunters. It doesn't mean my city kid understands the difference between hunting a deer that hangs in your yard around Thanksgiving and shooting someone. When he's old enough, we'll teach him the difference. But until then, the guns stay out of my house!

I don't know how I'm going to keep guns away form my son... all his daddy goes is play shoot 'em up video games... hooo boy.

I remember when my nephews turned my girls' barbies into guns because there were none to play with at my house.

Good luck on the gun battle.

I'm solidly in the no gun camp. If we have a boy, it will be war (hehe) with the in-laws, but guns have no place in kid's lives. I have similar feelings about barbie and that bratqsz things. I don't care if they think I'm the anti-fun either.

We don't let our 2 year old son play with toy guns. I just don't like them, but it's hard to keep others from giving him play guns.

Your comment about the 2nd amendment was too funny!

I completely understand and agree with your decision. I would add the clarification that a "toy" that causes damage when used as it is intended will be discarded as soon as damage is discovered. Make no exceptions.

The fact that a child's toy has a spring that is so strong it's going to cause severe injury in small children is just stupid.

And when you have a "toy" with foam-tipped darts there is no ambivalence about "but you're not supposed to shoot at people." Foam tipped darts are just about the definition of "OF COURSE you're supposed to shoot at people!" Plus I'm sure pictures on the packaging was suggesting shooting at other people.

I'm with you on this one. When my son wanted a water gun for the pool last summer I bought him spray bottles from the travel isle at target. He was happy and so was I.

Oh, I'm all about hiding annoying or disagreeable toys. My boys haven't received guns yet, but if and when they do, those too will be inadvtently lost (along wtih the tiny Legos and the Play Doh ice cream parloer)

Yea, those toys disappear in our house too. Along with anything that my mother in law from hell brings or even touches.

No 2nd Amend. in my house either! (Though I feel positive that my girl will have a super soaker at some point. The husband was totally in love with those as a youn'en.)

We've got one girl and so far she hasn't gone Annie Oakley on us. I do know the vacuum cleaner can take the fun out of anything small that can be shot out of a toy. That being said: I'll own a gun someday. A real one. And I'll proudly show it to every boy who walks into my house to pick up my daughter for dates. I might even show him the bullets.

I never allowed my 17 year old to have any sort of "gun" whatsoever, and have done the same with my 5 year old. Her father did get her a thingy that shoots a rocket type thing off of the top of it. Where did it go??? It is hidden under our cedar chest where it will NEVER be found again... Ooops!!!

not a gun fan either. we do have squirt guns for the pool, but like yours, there's not much resemblance to an actual bullet-type bang-bang gun.

In complete and total agreement with you. I don't want them in the house either. SarahE is right. If they want a gun, they have to be creative enough to make it out of food or paper.

Seriously though. What is it with toys and inlaws? Or actually toys and grandparents? I am so tired of dealing with our parents and their gift giving habits. Unfortunately its my youngest that suffers. Nobody seems to think that she might like gifts just as much as her older sister. After this Christmas, I've grown a spine, and the sh*t will fly if there isn't an equal distribution of wealth.

Isn't it weird how kids can improvise best when a gun is called for?
They'll even use their finger to simulate pump action or their mouth to shoot foreign objects.
You'd think all that crap would be over with. Is it still the cowboy and indian thing or is it sniper and terrorist play today?

I have to admit that I've relaxed a bit on the nerf guns, super soakers and Revolutionary war replica guns as Douglas has gotten older.

But real guns? Never, not ever, not any kind, in my house.

I agree 100 %. In fact, I actually had words about it with a relative. And I looked at them and said, looked, am his mother, my rules. No guns. End of discussion. You parented your kids, I'm parenting my kid.

I also won't let my child play in house where there our real guns.

I smell a blog talk radio discussion coming.

Hilarious. And totally agree. If my kids want to play with guns, they have to chew one out of a piece of toast and wave a buttered piece of wheat in the air. Which they've done. Hmmm.

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