V is for Vasectomy

I have decided that I am no longer responsible for the birth control situation in our household. For the most part, I pay the bills on time and I make sure the kids have clean underpants in their drawers.

But seeing as I've had three "surprises" over the last four years, I'm clearly irresponsible when it comes to birth prevention.

The counting method? Please. I'm lucky if I can correctly add two numbers together.

Birth control pills make me nuts, and based on some mixed reviews, and um, babies, I'm not so keen on the IUD.

So I told the huz that if he wants to have sex with me, he needs to figure out a way to do it safely.

"I could stick it in your ass," he said.

Smartypants.

I figure that since I'm the one who carried, birthed, and nursed these three lovely children, the least he can do is take care of the birth control. Hell, I've got about 400 Motherhood Uncensored condom lollipops still lying around.

But oh the whining about the condom.

"I feel...stifled." Like he's an actor with an overbearing director.

Can you hear the tiny violins?

And considering we're probably, almost definitely, maybe, we'll see, done with having kids, I innocently suggested a vasectomy.

He screeched like a girl.

"I can't risk that. My job requires me to be healthy."

Bwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaahahaha.

I mean. Honestly. I pushed three 8 lb kids out of my crotch with no drugs and he's going to whine about a vasectomy?

I know plenty of good men who have gotten the little snip and lived to tell. And screw valiantly once again.

So what gives?

Comments

[fergus]

I wish my vasectomy was as easy as yours. For me it has been 12 years of continuous pain and there is no end in sight. It all boils down to one thing.
There is no way to predict who will have post vasectomy pain.
Ask your doctor about it when you do the interview. Better yet just wait and see if he even brings it up.
Pain is the only reason I regret my vasectomy. I wish I had have been informed but that wouldn't have changed the fact that I am in the unlucky group.
Dave in fergus

[coach outlet]

We wish you health, happiness, and prosperity!*

[fergus]

search for post vasectomy pain and you will be better informed. I agree that vasectomy is a great birth control. However there are many guys who have had it done and are now living in pain. Most of these guys were completely surprised by the pain.
It's real, I have it too.

[Ed]

Why is it that in the abortion context, women are so into the whole "my body my choice" and "reproductive freedom" ideas, but they throw them out the window in other contexts?

A vasectomy is a surgical procedure. All surgery carries risks. It is often irreversible. What's more, to some men it may feel like a "symbolic castration". If suggested by the women it will feel like the ultimate act of control. For some people, the mere fact they have burned their bridges and having more kids is no longer an option will make them want kids more. People are not fully rational creatures. If he isn't certain he wants the surgery, don't bully him into getting it. If you have any compassion respect his wishes

[Aubrey Anne]

My husband has been begging the docs to give him the big V since our second baby was about 6 months old. He is only 23, though, and they won't perform the procedure until he's 25. He blames that for us getting pregnant for the 3rd time (like you, I'm a big baby about bc and seriously forgetful). At this point I say go for it, if he wants it, even if I don't get my little girl this time. Poor guy is only 23 with 3 kids and not one ounce of ability to admit it.

[Ken]

Seriously, just go and have the vasectomy. I did it and had no problem. It was actually an interesting experience. The doctor and nurse were joking all the while... at my expense! lol I told him to make sure to do a good job and he took me seriously and removed about 2" of vas. He said the usual amount was about .5", but wanted to have only "satisfied" customers!!!

JUST DO IT NOW!

[I Ain't saying!]

Had a medical thing where the wife had to go off the pill. It was either her or me for a permanent fix, so she let me know and I picked me. No sense getting her all cut up for tube tying. I'll have you know that's a Big Deal either way; it's more permanent than many marriages, and there's a bit of an ego thing there with being Fertile (ask Tony Curtis, ferinstance--dude was making babies at like 103 or something).

I wish men knew that vasectomies weren't as easy peasy as getting frozen peas for the day. (I didn't need the peas, but was a total wuss while the guy was yanking my vas deferens around INSIDE my sack, thanks. Wait, you're doing this TWICE?!?) Men tend to not talk about this stuff. I've since met some other guys who took a year and a half to completely heal. Me, I'm about six months in.

I acquired some prostrate trouble afterward ("why am I peeing green? Why does it HURT LIKE HELL?") related to long distance driving a month later, some irritation and so forth, but the worst part is that I ain't the same. The testicles now hang lower, jeans aren't comfortable--tight pants hurt. When a kid whacks me one in the groin it hurts a LOT more than it did before.

So--had to be done, but not trivial either.

[Vasectomy Reversal California]

There is equal responsibility of men towards family regarding contraception.

Mark

[bitemycookie]

hey kristen,
i went through this a while ago. i prevailed upon my husband to agree to a snip. the surgery went fine, the doc was kind of a righteous dick (not intended, swear), but hus was fine afterward. until he wasn't.

about 3 months post op he had some very painful, but not hugely serious complications. google post vasectomy pain syndrome. and sperm granuloma. and post vasectomy complications. there are a few you should know about before you decide. i don't know that i would have asked my husband to do it (the risks are poopooed by the docs who perform these sorts of procedures) if i had known 30% of all vas patients experience some complication or extended discomfort.

my reasons for avoiding hormonal birth control are the same as yours. but it's worth talking to some guys who who've done it and not just the ladies who love them.

all that said, he's totally fine now and hasn't had any symptoms or complications in months and we're very pleased with our no-more-babies choice. finally. and it made for some amazing footage.

good luck with whichever way you go. i blogged about it, but will spare you the link because sometimes that feels like spam.

xodt

[Diana]

"Waa, Waaa, waaaa! Cry me a river." That's what I told my husband. And then "If you don't have a doctor do it, I'll do it. In your sleep. With a rusty butter knife."

He opted for the doc. You know, the one with the anesthetic and the clean scalpel.

Just have a few bags of frozen peas at the ready when he comes home. You laugh, but they work. And he'll be back to normal in no time.

[chris]

I got a vasectomy when we decided we were done, and it was trivial. I swear the whole thing took 5 minutes and you don't feel much of a thing. Uh, yes, you're a bit sore for maybe two days after, but man, it's a really small price to pay to not need condoms and not have to worry about birth control and so on! I don't regret it at all.

Note, I'm a cyclist, and that is the one place that I held off a bit. I followed what my doctor said and waited a few weeks I think it was to be on the bike. Aside from that, pretty darn minor.

Tell your man to get over it and realize that it's the way to go.

[Mark]

It's funny, I just heard this ad for the Snip City March Madness Vasectomy promotion. Punch line? Lower your Seed.
http://www.urologycp.com/Snip_City_AD.html

[Marci]

I have to say that you should check out www.essure.com. I had a tubal without any surgery. A coil is inserted into your tubes through the vagina. It was simple and I haven't had a single problem. No cutting!! It's actually a lot safer than a V; much fewer complications (like infection, which happens a LOT).

[shane]

Get the V? why not. I had to have surgery to turn on my swimmers (they were to warm, makes you lazy I guess0 so I see nothiing wrong with flipping the faucet the other direction to turn them off.

It's definatley an uncomfortable feeling having your testicles swell up like oranges- but watching my wife shoot out both of my boys- I've got nothing to bitch about.

[Builder Mama]

Well, the hub volunteered several years ago to go get one. We've waivered back and forth for the last seven years about having another child, and it looks like it's one and done for us. BUT...I told him not to go through with it. Although I know in my head that we're done, my heart isn't quite there yet. I went the Mirena route, which so far has been great - I did have my hesitations thanks to Julie's experience, but figured if I ended up preggo then it was just meant to be. Heck, I couldn't get pregnant on a GOOD day, so really it was a moot point.

Good luck. I think you've done more than your fair share! And seriously, he's probably had visits to the dentist that are way worse than the Big V.

[amanda]

Hahahaha! 69 comments before mine.

Get him the Vasectomy shirt at Threadless, cute lil squirrel doing the Heisman pose while holding a nut. It is well wroth the peace of mind, plus he gets a piece of relieved ass.

Nice.

[Kymmerz]

(ex!)hubby had the appointment made. even went in for the pre-op consultation. everything was set. then, he had ONE phone conversation with his mother and everything was off. his mother told him that his father had prostate cancer and that it was her fault because she forced him to get a V. whatever! he's my ex now, so i'm not playing russian roulette anymore anyhow!

[Hyphen Mama]

My husband, also a commercial pilot who's health is a major factor for his job, actually asked if he could get a vasectomy WHILE I was pregnant with baby #2.

[Ginny]

My dad went and got a vasectomy after he knocked up his girlfgriend, and had the unexpected birth of my half-brother this past August... hahahahaha! I laughed so hard I cried when he told me he was getting the BIG SNIP.

But NONE of us would have it any other way, my bro is the LIGHT of my life.

Ask your husband if he's into paying for a 4th college education, etc etc. (If that's the way you go.)

I hate it when men don't consider the MASSIVE repercussions of sex. Honestly, he's still going to get hard, have sex, he just won't have viable swimmers. I mean, not doing it at this point is a pretty big risk for an orgasm, as wonderful as children are :) Plus, three sounds like plenty.

[Shelly]

We discussed this before we got married and had kids. I knew how much easier it was for him so we decided to do that when we were done. Since he committed to it probably close to 10 years before, I could easily encourage him into it. It was so no big deal. I watched the whole thing. My friend had reccommended I do so. He tried to do the whole, I've got a scar thing, but I showed him my very permanent C-section scar so he can't say anything. It really makes no difference at all and he was good to go to work and everything really quickly. I agree the pill is a pain. It made me feel morning sick all month long.

[Jilse]

My hubby doesn't want to get a V either. He has a phobia of needles so the thought of a needle going down there freaks him out more than a little.

On the otherhand I delivered one eight pound baby, and one almost 10 pound baby, and I needed massive stitches both times, so my sympathy for him isn't all that great.

I am done with hormonal birth control, so we're stuck with condoms, or an oops baby, until someone gets fixed. And we're at a stalemate for the time being.

[Karen (Submommy)]

Or, he could be like my hubs, who says "Yes. I'll take care of it." and "I think it's riskier for you. I'll get a V."

Did I mention that our son is 2.25 years old?

Still waiting.

[So 'n So's Mom]

Too funny. Too true. My hubby is plain scared that he'll lose some magic masculinity thing he's got going on. So he's back to high school days of weekend runs to the drug store for condoms. His choice but like you, I told him: To get in this holster it either has to have it's safty on or be shooting blanks.

[ewe_are_here]

Oh, and Backpacking Dad...?

Removal of ovaries would be completely different, no matter how 'simple' the procedure. Ovaries regulate hormones in a woman's body; without them, women tend to put on a lot of weight, unhealthy weight, which isn't easily controlled without them. This is why hysterectomies generally don't include ovary-removal anymore, unless there is something seriously wrong with them. They're not just about 'eggs'.

[ewe_are_here]

It's the least a man can do when you're done having children. A much simpler procedure than having tubes tied...

My partner knows the score, as well. Condoms every.single.time from here on out (once I'm done being pregnant right now) or a vasectomy. Because this third baby is our last one.

[LiteralDan]

I am really hoping I never get put in the position of refusing to have this done, though I am sure I will.

As it is, I've always been responsible for the birth control around here, short of actually taking those pills myself. That has to buy me some credit, right?

As for the "everyone doing their share" thing, even my wife has said on several occasions that things were "worse than labor", which always surprises me, but that's probably because both kids had to be induced and were out in time for Benjamin Button to look just like our latest addition.

(Actually, our daughter all but jumped out of her own free will, with my wife being yelled at to hold her in until the doctor could make it into the room. He didn't.)

So, call me a huge asshole, because I am, but I would have to be drugged and then dragged, ranting and whining, to have this done, unless I have some sort of magical epiphany and change my mind completely.

[Jenn]

Oh man that's funny! I'm going to write a response to this! Hoe do I do the trailback thing? I'm new to blogging but I'll try to figure that out!

[Pat]

I got mine done on Tuesday and mowed the law with a push mower on Wednesday tell him to be a man not a winy wimpy fly boy

[Bitchy Mom]

OMG this is soooo unfair! My husband absolutely refuses on reason of "religion" (he's a staunch Catholic).

I want to have more kids (I only have 1) but not right now. And the pill didn't work for me. And he refuses to wear condoms or pull-out or help in ANY way to NOT make another baby.

It's so frustrating!!!!!

Any suggestions? I'm considering Implanon...

[jp]

Kristen, tell him my story, 1st pregnancy at 18 Daughter #1, second at 21 (miscarraige), 3rd at 24 Daughter #2, (then I wanted to get my tubes tied but the Dr. made me wait a year because he said I was too young and would change my mind), tubes tied a yr later, HURRAY! 6 months later PREGNANT....WTF??? 8 weeks later after I was begining to wrap my mind around the whole thing, Miscarried again........6 monthes later Tubal #2, and EVERY SINGLE TIME I was late after that I panicked and thought I was pregnant!!!!

Even NOW at the age of 50 and going through Menopause, I worry!!!

Jeeesh!

My Husband complained all the time that he wasn't ready to make a 'permanent' decision and was worried that 'it' wouldn't work the same, but it sure as hell would have made my life a bit easier and calmer and less stressful!!!

Thanks for reminding me!

[Rita's husband]

I'm not going to lie, my balls are still sore and if the stitches catch one more fucking time, someone is going to pay for it.

However....that being said. I did get a new sympathy blackberry out of the deal (paid out of OUR money - just like the co-pay). AND, my wife is going to get so much sex starting in a few months that she'll WISH we were polygamists.

For Drew: I'll have my wife forward a copy of the discharge instructions - specifically the part about needing at least 20 ruboffs before you submit your first sample. Simply put: you don't have to do the work on that. Sold me.

I love reading your posts MU. One of the few blogs I actually read. Speaking of which, when are you going to parlay that annual Christmas list into all of this video blogging? Think of the revenue stream....

[Chelle]

The big snip made my brother-in-law a VERY happy man. He could have all the sex he wanted with my very fertile sister and not have to worry about another child. (We are VERY freaking fertile in my family.)

I understand the issues you have regarding the pill. I am on the pill and I actually feel BETTER being on it. But it doesn't always work that way for everyone. Find what works and go or it. Tell him you'll hold his hand if he feels he needs it. Then make sure to blog it!

[Monica]

I love my IUD - not fool proof but still a better % of success than a tubal ligation. But I'm still terrified, so I'm dragging my husband kicking and screaming to his vasectomy any day now. Especially since we already met our deductible for the year. Maybe I'll just tell him we're going on a date, then SURPRISE.

[Nina Delaney]

here's how we (the doc and I) did it....we had hubby come to the doc appt with me. We all started talking about my tubes and then the doc looked at the hubby and said....hmmm, she's carried and birthed 3 kids, don't you think it's your turn to do something". And the hubby said....I guess so. And he did and then bragged about how easy it was.....haha

[tyne]

I am lovin' this! My husband is getting a VASECTOMY TOMORROW!!! Praise the Good Lord. I am due in three weeks with my fourth child in five years. That's right four in five years. You wouldn't even imagine how this post resonated in my little heart. Snip, snip!

[Rita Arens]

Have your man call my man, and we'll talk. :)

[JustAnotherSAHM]

Having a vasectomy was the best thing I, er...the hubs, ever decided to do.
It only cost us a co-pay, yay insurance, he had it done on a Friday afternoon & was back at work by Wednesday because (wimp) he had it done before a holiday weekend to extend the (whining) recovery period.
I think, having shoved out two 8 pounders myself, my lack of overwhelming sympathy astounded him. I basically told him he had two days to sit around with frozen peas in his lap & to take pain killers but after that he was back on the daddy job. Then I had to listen about his manhood & garbage like that. When I reminded him he was likely to get more sex out of this he shut up. ;)
It has been over a year & I cannot say enough good things about it. He even admits he'd do it again without hesitation.
Good luck!

[bridge]

My husband walked around complaining I was making him have his nuts cut off. As time went by, he realized he may have a lot more sex, not have to wear a condom or pull out (which has created a whole other set of issues. He will do it. Have him see the Doc to talk.

[mothergoosemouse]

Does he want more children?

No?

Then just do it. Sheesh.

[homemom3]

I'd suggest you go with him if he actually says he's doing it. mine said he would after our fourth child, I was even scheduled to get it done. Told me he didn't want me to go through it now that i've had the kids. he'd do it. Well two years later and yes I canceled my appointment he's yet to do it. Hmm and he wonders why I'm not into the mood half the time. I don't want baby #5 coming through my legs. Love my kids and wouldn't change their existance but OWWW, no more, no thank you.

[Alicia]

My husband was all for the big V. We got down to the appointment but he really couldn't take the day off of work so we cancelled and haven't called back. Unfortunately being off the pill wacks out my body (no cycle for months) so back on the pill I go. Still will probably do that, but the pill is a necessity for me.

[Awesome Mom]

If we go permanent then he is going to be the one with the snipping getting done. He tried to tell me that since I have csections with my babies that I could just get it done them but quite honestly I don't think that right after having a baby is the best time to make that decision. I want to be really sure that I am totally done. Plus should you change your mind it is a lot easier and safer to get his reversed than it is to get a tubal ligation reversed.

[MommyNamedApril]

boys are weird about their junk. but really, it's just a snip. one dude twittered his whole procedure... and my dad drove himself home after his. tell him to get over it :-)

(i know, easier said than done)

[Backpacking Dad]

But if he has a vasectomy then he can't knock up his mistress, should he elect to have one. And he can't get you pregnant while you're not looking. Stop being so unreasonable.

I started that one as a joke, but I think I might be more serious than I realized. You are not just fighting HIM on the issue, but all of the screaming genes that say "Do not cease procreating!!!!!" If you were a cavewoman and he a caveman, and you said "I'm kind of, grunt, grr, all done having, ooga ooga, kids," he'd probably be all "ok, ba ba, I'll just go fuck Runga."

The option of the vasectomy is the result of scientific progress, to overcome nature. The reasonableness of the vasectomy is the result of moral progress, to overcome the natural inequality in procreation. But fuck, imagine removing your ovaries were a simple procedure, and you weren't sure that you were done having kids, but your husband said he was. I don't mean to ask if it's an easy choice. But is it an obviously unemotional one? Is there obviously a mature option and an immature option? And what if all of his friends agreed, publicly: "Yeah, dude, I don't understand why she doesn't just get her ovaries sucked out. It's a five minute job."

I think his reluctance is intelligible, and defensible. You need to convince, not blackmail him into it. He has to buy into the moral progress or his genes are going to win the argument: they aren't supposed to lose arguments; genes that lose arguments don't reproduce.

[Mandy]

My husband has volunteered to have one... he volunteered to do it (in the future), before we even had kids. My jaw kinda hit the floor. I thought it was going to be a major battle!

[beachmom]

We had our first appointment scheduled for the "big V" one month AFTER we found out about "oops #3" ... once he was born and healthy, we (who am I kidding, he) walked into the doctor's office, said he had already been through the preliminaries ... scheduled the procedure for the next week - and we have been very happy ever since!! Great sex, no worries!!

[muskrat]

P is for "pussy." Which is what I am whenever this procedure comes up.

[Linda]

I am also one of the lucky ones. I am pregnant with our 2nd child, and I am 25 and my husband is 27. He told me the other day that when he turns 30, we will talk about another child, and if not, then he will have the vasectomy done. If we decide to have another child, then we will have the 3rd, and he will still get it done.

I hope that you can talk your husband into it. I agree with you. I carried, birthed, and nursed our kids, it is the least that HE can do. Plus I hear that the men have a quicker recovery than women do.

[coolteamblt]

My dad had to be dragged kicking and screaming to his V, but, as the family story goes, after they gave him the laughing gas, he offered to help, and was back in the saddle the next day. My husband has the same hang-ups as yours, but after watching me waddle around with stitches from here to Canada, he's feeling a bit more sympathetic. I'm going to push him really hard after we have number two, which is still a few years off.

[Sarah]

Well, good luck with that one; the vasectomy seems like an unreasonably difficult topic to broach with some men. I'm very lucky in that my husband has been quite open about his willingness to have a vasectomy when we both decide we're done - but he got to that point out of fear of accidentally having a baby in his 50s. I don't know what makes other men squeamish, though. So all I can say is GOOD LUCK. I hope he comes around.

[zomg]

Seriously, I was ready to do it to myself with a Swiss army knife and some dental floss. Had to argue it out with the wife: "but what if we lose a child and have to replace him or her?" she said. Aieeeeeaaah! And then all three kids got the chicken pox at once and she gave in. And it has been UTTERLY AWESOME. No more futzing with hormones or devices and nasty latex smell and nonoxynol-9-tongue and having pubes yanked when trying to get the damn thing off. He's insane to resist.

[Yara]

which reminds me... I need to schedule an appointment to get my mirena. Thanks for the reminder. : )

[Miss Grace]

That's messing with his boys! Also, I don't think men realize how much not-a-big-deal it is.

[Fairly Odd Mother]

Considering that I got screwed valiantly by one such man last night, I can attest to the fact that a vasectomy did NOTHING to harm his performance. If anything, it made things a whole helluva lot easier b/c we don't have to stop to unwrap a condom.

The procedure is SO MINOR, I swear my husband spent the second day in bed just to have an excuse to watch all-day movies.

Kristen, you need to get serious. REFUSE HIM SEX until he gets the procedure. Tell him that ALL your orifices are closed until he does his part to prevent another pregnancy. If you do get pregnant with a 4th, you may be finished with sex for good, so it is in his best interest to get it done. (and we know loads of men who have had it done with no problems. Disturbingly, I found out that both my father and my FIL are among those men).

[ClumberKim]

Though Mr Clumber was willing to solve the problem, I did Essure http://www.essure.com It was ridiculously easy and I didn't mind taking one for the team if it meant neither of us had to be cut open. Morning procedure, home by noon, felt totally human about 3 hours after.

The only downside I see is it isn't reversible but that wasn't an issue for us.

[elizabeth]

everyone is different. I knew I was done after my second - advance maternal age (hahaha), my husband is younger than I and yada yada yada, whatever. I got my tubes tied and have never regretted it. it works for us. everyone has to make the choice that works for them and their situation. glad you got one that works for you.

[marti]

He should Grow.The.Fuck.Up.

[Alecia]

OMG! This sounds identical to me and my husband!!! We argued about it alot. I feel like he OWES it to me! However, him not giving in and me not wanting another baby forced me to take control and get Mirena. I might hold a little grudge forever about it, but I won't have another baby!!! BTW, I love Mirena!

[Dana]

So, I must not be wide awake yet because I thought I read "I feel... stiff" and so I'm thinking, "What? Isn't that how it's supposed to go when having sex?"

then I reread it and called your husband a big baby. ;)

if we can endure labor, delivery and episiotomy, they can deal with the small snip, right?

[Mandy]

My husband actually stopped at the Urology office on the way out of the hospital after our second child. He wanted to be able to have sex as soon as my six week no sex after the birth was over!

[Shannon]

I honestly don't get why guys are so whiny about it. I really don't. I'm so glad my husband was the one who wanted to get it done. And he will tell you that it wasn't bad at all. A little sore but nothing serious and the relief of not having to think about birth control was awesome for both of us. But if he does get it MAKE SURE he gets tested on the schedule suggested by your doctor. You need to make sure he's still shooting blanks after six months or whatever it is. Otherwise you risk an oops! :)

[Redneck Mommy]

Heh.

Boo had his snipped months after Bug was born. He didn't want to but the thought of being married to me for decades and not getting any helped encourage him to get over his fear of the big V.

It wasn't bad.

He played slow pitch the next day.

But the day of the surgery he spent lying on the couch with the bag of frozen peas on his crotch whining about how I stole his manhood.

[Jill]

Yeah, my husband won't even consider it either. Then there's my brother in law who put one off and put one off, and two unexpected pregnancies (for a total of four kids) later, he finally got one. Yeah... I'm not going to wait until I have four kids for him to be compelled to get the big V, so I'll stick with my birth control pills.

[Shari]

Let's be honest men are pussy's. I made my husband get one after our last child was concieved. A year later I ended up having a hysterectomy. Boy, was the husband pissed ... LOL

Vasectomy, best thing that ever happened to our sex life. None of that underlying worrying about getting knocked up.

[Issa]

"Can you hear the tiny violins?" Might be the best line ever written about the V subject. We're not there yet, we want one more. But when we get there, this won't be a subject I'm willing to argue on. I'll hold out, I just will. Good luck though, I hope you can break him soon.

[Amy]

Mine is the same way. Wussies.

I love the Mirena. Going on 2 years, and no baby here.

Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

[Carrie]

As I told my husband- after this baby is born, someone is getting something snipped or tied or something. He's in agreement that someone should do something, but we have yet to decide who and what :)

[heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire]

I guess I got lucky with my hubby, he knew that the pill didn't work so well for us as we got 2 kids while I was on them, so he decided that instead of me having a major surgery that he would get the snip. It has been over 11 years and the peace of mind of knowing that we won't get pregnant is awesome!

do you know any guys that have had it done that can talk to him about it?

[Mark]

It's an irrational fear of the unknown that's not helped in the least by the silence of the brotherhood.

I had mine snipped 21 years ago after our third and it was the right thing to do after all she went through. It was the best decision and I never considered any other option. I've had no second thoughts, no regrets and am healthier now than then.

[anita ovolina]

Hope your husband decides to go! Loads of military guys have it done on base and they survive unharmed in those places....he he he he
:)

[Windex]

My hubby got the V done about a month ago...his biggest complaint was that he was itchy because of the shaving...other than a bit of tenderness the first night he did not have any pain...Now it was done by a doctor who does not use a scalpel or a needle so maybe that lessens the pain. Our only agreement was that it did not get talked about beyond him and I....

[chivet]

My husband is Mexican and the idea of getting a vasectomy makes him feel like I'm taking away his manhood. Then I pointed out that the only man I know with a vasectomy is my Marine uncle, who could kill him with his bare hands and he's not less of a man for it. We compromised that after we have our next/second child, we'll both do it (he gets a vasectomy, I get my tubes tied)...and I promise not to tell anyone in his family that he did.

[Catherine]

Tell your husband this story--my neighbor's husband got the big V about 4 months ago, and since he healed up, his sex drive is through the ROOF. My poor neighbor is like, please get this man off of me. Hmm, maybe that's not the best story to convince YOU with. But I will say he had hardly any pain and a very quick recovery. Good luck!

[Her Bad Mother]

April 21st. Kyle is going on April 21st.

Snip, done.

And I'm the one who had to be talked into it.

[Ruth]

Okay I cam going to be the anti-mirena sales person. Had one put in 5 months after the birth of our 4th (and LAST) child. Had already lost my baby weight, proceeded to GAIN 30 pounds and act like a crazy lady (hormones) After no Dr could tell me what was wrong,(for 2yrs!) searched the web and found a whole web site of woman who had problems with the Mirena iud. (My hair was also falling out) As soon as I had it pulled out, my mood swings ended, my hair grew back and I lost 10 pounds, still fighting to lose the rest. If you have problems with hormones on the pill be careful. Also I follow you on Twitter, I can't believe someone would actually write that shit to you!!! (Mississippi comments) I think you're awesome!

[Keila]

WELL considering we are not done with kids (our first is still cookin) that is not something we are addressing YET. BUT I have just brought up the question "Hey babe would you consider getting snipped" HIS response "Def, my dad did it" SO for the first time in our marriage 4 years, my father in law scored a point.

:)
K

[Angela]

Got to say that I LOVE my mirena. (Didn't love it for the first 3 months, but that's another story.) Anyways, we're not done having kids yet, so it's perfect. But when we are... Todd WILL be getting snipped. Seriously, I had worse damage done simply pushing out my first. I think I did agree to get a boob job though. For after nursing. Nursing has wreaked havoc on the girls.

You've born (literally) the brunt of all issues reproductive for a long time now. It's time for him to belly up to the bar. I would have to say that shooting blanks is pretty much the only way for him to continue receiving any services.

[Sharon - Mom Generations]

This discussion brings me back a few years. Well, decades actually. After our youngest daughter turned 3 (I nursed her 'til the night before her 3rd birthday... another story for another day!), my husband and I had the V-talk. We had 4 kids, 2 boys from his previous marriage and our 2 daughters (ages 12, 9, 6,3). We decided that we were happy with the way things were, but for the possibility of an accidental pregnancy. The solution - vasectomy. Long story short, my husband had 3 consultations, 3 appointments, 3 CANCELLATIONS on the morning-of. Hmmm. What can I say? We were VERY careful... and our brood remained at 4. Now our youngest daughter is 28 and we have 9 grandkids! I wish my story was more of a he-can-do-it one, but he-could-not!!!! (Can you wait 'til menopause for all that great unprotected passion? It's pretty good!)

[Jen L.]

Hahahaaaa! We may be facing the Big V at our house this summer. I have a dr. appointment next month to see if more babies are a good idea for us (I have some medical issues and had a rough go of it with baby #1), then we'll decide where to go from there. My huz actually volunteered to get snipped! I think it's just so he'll be able to talk about his balls more.

[Boston Mamas]

HOLD OUT and I'm sure he will come around to see your point of view. :-) -Christine

[Emily]

For Valentines Day this year, literally on Monday, my hubby got the BIG V. He is still at home acting like a little whiney girl. But he did it and I am proud of him for doing it.

As he put it, "you get flowers, a card, and my balls".

Kinda funny, but we are excited for the "freedom" this brings us - we have been using condoms for 2 years. We have 2 girls - 4 and 2 and are quite happy with that.

Good Luck!

[Mary]

He needs to buck up. Seriously. Tell him he can no longer get PIV sex again if he doesn't. Seriously, why should this be one more thing for you to deal with?
Besides, if you went the other route with getting your tubes tied, it would be major surgery (and he would have to take care of the kids while you recovered!), versus outpatient for him. Frozen peas and constant beer seem to be the most popular "recipe" for his recovery.

[nic]

oh i can't wait to hear how this ends... or begins, depending on how you look at it. i have the mirena and it's been a positive experience for me thus far. good luck sista friend!

[becky]

oops, also i only would do it if your absolutely sure your done having babies. just it case, it preforates. but with all BC there are risks. it doesnt hurt, if you can birth babies you can get one inserted. they cut the strings really short, they are level with the cervix. the husband wont feel it, unless he's super slong! try it out, if you dont like it, you can get it removed.

damn, i sound like a IUD sales rep. lol. im just really happy with it!

[becky]

we were in the same boat and my husband reacts the same way about a vasectomy. since he is perfectly fine with keeping me pregnant year after year, I got an IUD. Not the mirena. I have the paraguard IUD, no hormones, 10 yrs. Yes, i have heavier periods, but I have no other options at this point. except abstinence. besides, i can deal with a heavier period versus another crying newborn. i love it, bc pills make me f-ing crazy too, anything with hormones is out of the question. good luck in your search!