That's all she wrote
I pressed send yesterday evening and submitted 50,961 words to my editor that will soon become a book.
"What's it about?" everyone asks me.
Depending on the crowd (my in-laws, my mother, the doctor who asked what I did for a living), I tell them it's a parenting book. A sort of "self-help" for moms.
That's not too far off, I guess.
For most people, I tell them it's about sex. And motherhood. And how to make the two work when the thought of seeing your naked body in the bright light sort of depresses you and you want to bop your husband in the head with a pee-pee diaper.
So, really it's a book about porn and sex toys!
(Kidding).
(Well, sort of).
It's supposed to be a funny take on sex for parents, without an expert giving you homework that involves talking dirty at dinner, or a sexpot named "Violet Blue" giving you instructions on how to use a strap-on dildo.
And I hope that everyone buys a bunch of copies when it comes out in December 2009.
Cooooongraaaats!
Posted by: miguelina | February 06, 2009 at 03:07 PM
Just started reading your blog a coule days ago, very entertaining. Congratulations on the book being published. Good Luck!!!
Posted by: Click Here to Continue | February 05, 2009 at 10:47 PM
Congratulations! That is fabulous!
Posted by: Stimey | February 05, 2009 at 06:06 PM
Congratulations, Kristen! I can't wait to read it.
Posted by: mamatulip | February 05, 2009 at 04:55 PM
Congrats!!! Liberating isn't it?
Posted by: Stacy Quarty | February 05, 2009 at 04:28 PM
Awesome news and how you did it with three kids I will never know.
Posted by: TB | February 04, 2009 at 10:28 PM
I'm thinking of getting the book, for my wife and I. And I can't decide if it would be (perceived as) a Good Thing or a Bad Thing.
Luckily I have a little time to think about it.
Congrats!!
Posted by: ben | February 03, 2009 at 11:16 PM
After just glancing over at the Mominatrix articles, I'm anxious to read your book!
Posted by: beth | February 03, 2009 at 10:57 PM
I look forward to buying copies for all of my friends. Because honestly, I don't know many moms who couldn't benefit from a little sage advice on this topic.
Posted by: mothergoosemouse | February 03, 2009 at 09:39 PM
Congrats on finishing it! Can't wait to read it!
Posted by: Chag | February 03, 2009 at 07:44 PM
Good for you - that's got to feel great to be done!
Posted by: TR from Experiencing Motherhood | February 03, 2009 at 12:19 PM
Huge congrats to you!!!
Posted by: Colleen - Mommy Always Wins | February 03, 2009 at 11:56 AM
What a brilliant accomplishment. Good for you with all you got going on. I hope you can relax a little now?
Or maybe not. You didn't turn your three little ones in with that manuscript right?
:-)
Congrats.
Posted by: Lee of MWOB | February 03, 2009 at 10:31 AM
Whoo-hoo! I'm so proud of you for finishing! The book! The book!
Ahem.
Sorry about that. I'm looking forward to reading it in December!
Posted by: WhyMommy | February 03, 2009 at 10:01 AM
Just a thought...you provided a link to Dooce's blog, where I could "pre-order" her book on Amazon (which i did after reading her blog) I am sure everyone would do the same for your book. If not, we will just have to wait until December!!!
Posted by: Kristen | February 03, 2009 at 09:22 AM
I am SOOOOOOOO buying that book!!
I hope you'll post the link on here once it's published!!
Posted by: Bitchy Mom | February 03, 2009 at 12:43 AM
I can't wait! Will you be doing a book tour? We'd love to see you up here in Ann Arbor!
Posted by: Christy | February 03, 2009 at 12:04 AM
I'll ask for it from Santa!
Posted by: Zip n Tizzy | February 02, 2009 at 11:22 PM
I'll buy one, of course, but will try to refrain from saying, "Well, Kristen says to do this now. . ." while in the bedroom.
Posted by: Fairly Odd Mother | February 02, 2009 at 10:38 PM
Congratulations!
Are you going to have a fake book made up to give to your inlaws? Just kidding.
Posted by: Lady M | February 02, 2009 at 10:16 PM
Congratulations and I certainly will be buying a copy.
Posted by: J from Ireland | February 02, 2009 at 07:26 PM
OH my gosh! Well, everyone I know is getting that book for Christmas. Even if they are 80 year old widows who haven't had sex since Reagan was in office. Am So excited for you!
Posted by: motherofbun | February 02, 2009 at 06:48 PM
and you lift and place your leg where???
can't wait!!!
Posted by: nic | February 02, 2009 at 06:12 PM
Congrats! That's so exciting.
Posted by: Asianmommy | February 02, 2009 at 06:12 PM
Congrats. I'll buy one! Hedging my bets that I'll need it at some point in the future.
Posted by: missmismeliss | February 02, 2009 at 05:59 PM
I'll buy
Posted by: Kelly | February 02, 2009 at 05:29 PM
Congratulations.
Posted by: Backpacking Dad | February 02, 2009 at 05:26 PM
What, you couldn't manage 39 more words for a nice even number? Slacker.
Posted by: Mom101 | February 02, 2009 at 05:19 PM
After the last post re: better than the Wii fit, which my hubby and I laughed hard at the cartoons...I'm not sure if the porn topic is so far off base. Haha. I look forward to reading a book about that from someone who I relate to so much! Thanks!
Jenny
Posted by: Jenny | February 02, 2009 at 03:44 PM
Congratulations!
December? Just in time for Christmas. Who wouldn't want to find a copy of that in their stocking? Wheee!
Posted by: Chicky Chicky Baby | February 02, 2009 at 03:14 PM
I'll be first in line! I'll even buy one for my mother.
Well, maybe not that last part.
Posted by: Amy Jo | February 02, 2009 at 03:13 PM
I'll be the first in line.
GO KRISTEN!
Posted by: mrs.chicken | February 02, 2009 at 03:05 PM
Congratulations - definitely an accomplishment to be celebrated.
Posted by: Don Mills Diva | February 02, 2009 at 01:52 PM
Congratulations! That must be a weight off your shoulders!
Posted by: Cristina | February 02, 2009 at 01:26 PM
That is a hell of a lot of words! Congrats on finishing! And looking forward to the release!
Posted by: Emily | February 02, 2009 at 01:00 PM
What's sex??? i know i've had it...I have a six month old as living proof...but i'm pretty sure I've forgotten how to do it...I so cannot wait for the book...how far away is December?
Posted by: Kerrie | February 02, 2009 at 12:51 PM
I wish it were available now... I don't know if I can wait until December to get some! :)
Posted by: Lisa | February 02, 2009 at 12:42 PM
So we can expect to see plenty of tips like, "Use Elmo as a babysitter for quickies - just remember how long Elmo's World lasts!"
Yeah, I'm on board to read this one.
Posted by: Christina | February 02, 2009 at 12:29 PM
Awesome. I hate homework.
Posted by: Undomestic Diva | February 02, 2009 at 12:26 PM
Man I cannot wait now! and it will be perfect timing, the new baby will still be pretty tiny
Posted by: nicole | February 02, 2009 at 11:36 AM
Congrats on the book! it sounds great!
Posted by: Jennifer | February 02, 2009 at 11:20 AM
Congrats on finishing!
Posted by: Heather | February 02, 2009 at 11:01 AM
Congrats! Can't wait.
Posted by: Amelia Sprout | February 02, 2009 at 10:41 AM
congratulations on finishing! can't wait to see the published copy :-)
Posted by: MommyNamedApril | February 02, 2009 at 10:39 AM
So I've always heard this journey compared to growing and giving birth to a baby. Since you've done both... your thoughts?
Congratulations, Kristen. And December 2009... perfect timing. I'm a terrible gift giver, but I think the sister will love this!
Posted by: Angela | February 02, 2009 at 10:38 AM
I wish it were out now! Looking forward to buying lots of copies for friends...because surely I will feel better about myself by then...right? (*bangs head on desk for fear she won't*)
Posted by: Amy H | February 02, 2009 at 10:36 AM
I hope it involves a chapter on how to get your sex drive going after the baby is born. I'm sure I'll still need that in December.
Posted by: Amber Mc | February 02, 2009 at 10:06 AM
I'll buy it...hell, I'll buy two!!!
Posted by: Sheri | February 02, 2009 at 09:31 AM