Repetition is the key to every mother's insanity

I was prepared for the hemorrhoids, even though no one warned me. And then the temper tantrums, mostly because everyone told me about those.

But I can honestly say I was not ready to have to answer the same question 40 times in one hour and not completely lose my shit.

And if it's not that, it's repeating something over and over until I acknowledge. Except "yes" doesn't cut it and "uh-huh" just seems to make him say it more.

Quinlan never did much of this when she was younger. She created her own rituals of mastery, but they never really involved driving me completely insane.

But Drew has all the fairly typical toddler behaviors, like requesting the same fucking song over and over again, particularly at bedtime, and asking the same question (which always has the same answer) until I threaten to put him in his crib if he asks me again.

That's almost as bad as being asked a question to which he already knows the answer because I've told him every single night in a row.

"What's he do?" he says, pointing at the garbage truck. "Same thing as last night [and every night for the last oh 48 days and counting]," I reply. "He empties the trash."

And God Almighty do not watch a movie with him, say "Kung-fu Panda," because he will ask you where that damn Kung-fu Panda is the second he leaves the screen to use the potty or take a nap.

I know he's not doing that but it's the only thing that seems to ease his mind.

At some level, my daughter didn't have to do much repeating because she was the only one I was tending to at the time. Now I've got a couple of other mouths to feed and answer, so it takes me a few more seconds to get the milk down his gullet and reply to his questions about tow trucks and big rigs.

But regardless of how fast I move, I'm just never fast enough, and like a little jack hammer, pounding the concrete until it breaks apart, he reminds me that he needs more grapes and juice and "snacks mama, more snacks mama."

Thankfully, I discovered the switch that usually works to turn him off.

"I don't know, kid. Go ask your father."

If I'm gonna go nuts thanks to this parenting gig, you better bet I'm taking him down with me.

[I'm giving away a MilkBank breastmilk storage and bottle system - even if you don't breastfeed, it's worth checking out]

Comments

[AllisonD]

I get to the point where I say "Just stop talking" which my daughter started saying back to me when I had to ask her over and over again to do something. Yeah, you can dish it out but you can't take it; can you kid??

[TB]

Oh my god the repeating. The endless repeating. It can be a word... mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy,..... or a request for a song or a TV show. I swear endless repetition could be used as a more effective torture technique than waterboarding.

[Cici]

Its too true.
we need to break the repetition and insanity.

[Christina]

I'm getting the repetition from Cordy now, too, and it's so annoying. The worst is her rapid-fire repetition, where she'll say something over and over continuously without a breath. I can only handle so many refrains of "more-juice-more-juice-more-juice" before I want to scream.

[Screwed Up Texan]

So, when he gets a little older, ya think he'll ask ya about sex? Like a million times? lol

As a parent, I totally understand the frustration.

[Kaci]

If I have to hear the same first four notes of the Elmo's World song again, I may have to take some fifty caliber aspirin.

Good luck!

[steve]

I think your little guy is just a little at loose ends.

How about trying this? "You can ask me your question, if I can ask you one, too."

After he asks his question, you can ask him *anything!* What do you want to be when you grow up, why is the sky blue, what's your favorite food, etc.

I think you're blessed with such an assertive and inquisitive kid! I say, just have fun with it!

[The Other Sister-in-Law]

Oh, never mind, I see other people already suggested that. I should really read all the replies before I answer, lol.

[The Other Sister-in-Law]

Since I'm not a mother, maybe this is a stupid suggestion. But what happens if he asks a question, and you answer with a question, like "What do you think the truck does?" or "Where do you think the DVD is?" Would he answer and stop asking? Just curious.

[robin]

My favorite is every sentence starts out with, "Hey Mama?" to which I have to say, "Yes?" to which he has to say "You know what?" to which I say, "What?"

Seriously, I hear you. Can you just ask the question already?

[magpie]

"Go ask Daddy" is a refrain in my house too.

(I need to win the milk bank kit, for my very pregnant SIL!)

[Crista]

My 3 year old son finds it amusing to repeat "Mommy!" a million times even when I say "what!"

Kids.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

So basically you're telling me that my 2 year old is SUPER advanced, right?

HAHA.

[Annie]

I agree with everyone else--the questions never stop, they just get harder. My 9 y/o son always asked questions, but now he asks other people to make sure we're not lying, or to make sure we know what we're talking about.

Example: they have early dismissal from school. He'll ask me, dad, sis, his teacher, the crossing guard, and anyone else on the way...grrrrrrrr.

And to think...I have the 9 m/o boy to deal with yet...I'm in trouble...

[Hyphen Mama]

Amen, Sister!

But it's not just a boy thing. My 5 1/2 year old daughter does this 15 million times a day. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I hate myself for getting short tempered with her.

I'll try the "I don't know,what do you think?" tactic. I'm fairly certain it won't thwart her.

[Leslie]

I get the same thing from my 4 year old.

I made a HUGE mistake once when she kept asking while in the car, "What does that sign say?" over and over. I started giving different answers.

"Hullaballoo!"

"Poppycock!"

"Humdinger!"

God, am I STUPID. Not only do I get the normal questions, I get the, "Will you answer me with those funny words like you did yesterday*?" (*everything that happened before this very moment is yesterday with her).

[RM]

Lol you are giving me so much to look forward to. Makes me grateful that my little one is still just 8 months old.

[Awesome Mom]

I feel your pain! What finally broke it for my eldest son was to turn the question back to him. Making him think about the answer stemmed the tide of repetitive questions.

[Amanda]

I think it's a boy thing. My oldest was an only child for 5 1/2 years and STILL does that shit to me. I'm waiting for the little brother to put a coherent enough sentence together to start fraying my nerves with the repetitiveness too. Right now all I get out of him all flippin day is "Choo Choo," which is 2yo for "Put on the Thomas DVD for the 200th time, Woman."

[Sarah]

Hey, that's the husband's job, right? I fully intend to bring mine down with me!!

[reeky]

it's sooo hard but it's your job. mine are now 4 1/2 and 9 and it's not the same questions now, it HARD questions. And it's my job to stay on top of it all.

you know why? it's because this is how your children learn. want smart ones, keep answering the questions. encourage them to ask new and harder ones.

[Angela in Ohio]

My grandson is 15 months and driving us crazy. All day long he runs around pointing at a things asking what they are. Dis? Dis? Dat? Dat? All fricken day long. We can't wait until he learns Why?

[Glamour Girl]

Oh honey, don't I know. Don't I fucking know....

I bought earplugs a couple of weeks ago. Keep some in my car too. I don't knwo what type of emotional damage I'll do in the long run but at least I won't go psycho in the super 'near' future!

[mothergoosemouse]

The worst part for me is that I just can't tune it out. God knows I've tried.

[Heather]

Also fun? When they ask "what's that?" when you're in the car and driving. I don't know, could be any number of things but since I'm driving the car I don't know which thing you're asking about.

Sometimes the answer "what do YOU think?" works the best.

[Lindsay]

"Mommy what is that thing?"
"It's an apple corer"
"What's it for?"
"For taking the core out of apples"
Every. Single. Day. Until I started telling him it was a screwdriver, or a parachute, or a calculator and he got pissed off and stopped asking.

[brad]

@ mom,again
so when my wife reminds me that the tv remote is *where it always is*, can i tell her i'm too smart to remember that? (tho i don't have an oxford PhD)

[Undomestic Diva]

My 4 year old has a need to know what time it is every two minutes. "I don't know" doesn't cut it for him, so matter what time it is, no matter whether we know the real time or not, we always give him an exact number so he'll just let it go.

[Grace]

I just blog about the exact same thing... and oh my god do I want to rip my hair out.

There's no hope for me though. Like "mom, again", my hubby is the exact same way. He's brilliant at so many things, but we could have a huge conversation, come up with a plan, and talk about what needs to be done. By morning, he'll have no recollection.

[mom, again]

brad, it may be the honor student part that is causing the problem. My hubby, the Oxford educated PhD does the same thing. He also constantly asks me where things like the forks are. Let's see, there are 3 drawers in the kitchen, and you've lived here as long as me, so figure it out mr. genius professor dude!

[Erin]

I have one boy, about the same age as Drew and he does the exact same thing all day everyday. Oh my gosh, it drives me CRAZY. The only thing that seems to work is if I misdirect him to something else. Or I go tell him to find something that I know will take him awhile.

[Pam S]

OMG! I go through the same thing - my boys are 3 and 4 and they are playing "20 questions" constantly - only it's the same question 20 times! I agree with don't move fast enough. One of them will ask for something and if I do not respond in exactly 1.2 seconds, I get the "mom you're not getting ms xxx". I have resorted to telling them the universe doesn't revolve around them and learn some patience, which, of course, they won't.

[MommyNamedApril]

haha! 'go show your dad' is my line and it's just now starting to work with my 2yo (much to hubs chagrin)

[Jill]

Oh the reptition! God, the repitition. I was just thinking the other day at how I can handle the "stuff" that happens and never get mad. When my 4 year old crapped his pants three times in one day, I handled it. But when he starts in on the reptitive questions and the not listening (leading me to have to become repititious myself), I just lose it! Everyone asks if my 14 month old is talking yet and I happily say no, because Lord help me when I've got two of them yipping at me all day!!

[brad]

hahahahaha -- bad news all you moms out there -- they NEVER get over that. After every f*cking meal i have to remind my teenage sons to puT their dishes in the dishwasher. EVERY F*CKING TIME. they'll stand next to an open, empty dishwasher and put their sh*t in the sink. and before you think their morons, their both honor students. so, sorry for the bad news, but be prepared for this *stage* to last awhile.

[Kim]

I ask my DS what be thinks. It works sometimes. We jumped the Why stage & he asks Where all the time. That's just crazy!

[Bitchy Mom]

Oh dear... no one warned me about this!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to hope to hell it's a "boy thing" and maybe my daughter will turn into a little peach when she's 2 years old...

And here I thought almost 2 years old was the bad part...

[Kate]

Oh my gosh...this is driving me crazy, too. There are only so many times that I can sing the same damn song. And, we've also moved into the "why" phase, which may result in me jumping off a bridge. Because, sometimes there are just no answers that will satsify him!

[Lynna]

Try "I don't remember, do you?" and see what happens. That said, I never found anything that worked. Don't have to worry anymore, they are almost 29 and almost 26 and they don't ask the same questions over and over these days.