Multiple personalities

While I might be pretty damn foul-mouthed and controversial, I don't curse in front of my kids. And I don't talk about vibrators in daily conversation. Usually, at least.

But based on my "introduction" for my panel at the Mom 2.0 Summit, you just might think otherwise.

I'm struggling with identities these days, particularly as they tend to collide in real life circumstances. On one hand, I'm a mom who writes about motherhood without a filter. But on the other, I'm a business owner, professional speaker, and author.

And when the twain shall meet, it can actually be pretty awkward.

When I heard that our moderator had a surprise for us, which turned out to be an actor to dramatically interpret my V is for Vasectomy post at the beginning of my panel, I was really scared.

[To be fair, I didn't voice my fear, but I felt like I was not in a decision making position.]

And during the actual reading, I saw the faces of people laughing in the crowds. But I saw the people who looked extremely uncomfortable.

Now, I can't lie. I did laugh.

But I couldn't help it. I'm funny. (And obviously not humble or modest. Haha!).

And, I did my best to take what was a pretty odd start to a professional panel and turn it into a talking point - that mom bloggers are not these crazed women spouting off about cock rings and their son's humping at any chance they get. And that the moms marketers are trying to reach are not our mothers.

I understand that I straddle a fine line. My personal has become my professional in a way, and it's certainly afforded me great opportunities.

And I get it. I write about sex and condom lollipops and orgasms.

But I also write about other stuff too.

So when I'm introduced by my discussion about snipping my husband's testicles, I'm not sure if it gives me much street cred in a marketing conference. Or at least, the kind of cred that I think is appropriate for that particular situation.

This blog is my outlet. However, it is one note in a composition that is my fairly diverse life.

I'm fairly sure that Lindsay's life isn't all about turmoil, and I know for a fact that Mom-101 knows what she is doing.

And I know that there's a time and place for everything.

It doesn't mean I'm embarrassed by my own words. It just means that it sort of freaked me out to be introduced as the mom who talks about vasectomies, especially since I wasn't speaking at a vasectomy support meeting, or at a writing seminar on how to write about your husband's balls.

I'm glad to see that folks enjoyed it. And I've yet to hear from those people who might have wanted to run away screaming.

I'm a woman, who happens to be a mom, who happens to do a lot of other things. Some of which involve large vibrating instruments. And others which have absolutely nothing to do with my vagina.

And while I'm more than proud to be "just a mom," when you're sitting in the front of the room to share your expertise as a mom, writer AND a consultant, I think there's a big difference.

I guess this goes to the point that we're moms but there's just so much more to us than that. I think it's something that marketers need to hear and understand. I'm just not sure if that intro was the way to do it.

Comments

[Jerri Ann]

Just as I told you the conference, I would have enjoyed it so much more if you guys had read your own work. It really would have been entertaining then because it would have been you being you...otherwise, yea, it was cute, it was funny but I agree that I'd rather have heard you guys talk more about what you do than to have that dude there doing what ever it is that he does...

[Poppy Buxom]

I've only seen the videos, but that guy's performance made me cringe the way I used to cringe at I Love Lucy ... just over the top and embarrassing.

You and the Bloggess are funny enough. Having your posts interpreted was gilding the lily.

[stacey @ tree, root, and twig]

I definitely had multiple personalities during that panel. On one hand, I was doing the official Twitter updates for the conference under the Mom2Summit username. So...I was trying to keep it factual and remain objective to report what was going on (though I'm not sure I totally succeeded with that panel!). On the other hand, as a mom & a blogger I was like "What the...?" I had a hard time connecting the dots, and I actually thought the moderator-as-Devil's-Advocate (or was he just purposely trying to badger you ladies?)was very distracting. I still got loads out of your panel, though I'm not really sure you got your proper due.

[Susan (5 Minutes for Mom)]

I definitely would not have guessed that you all didn't know that was going to happen. You played it so cool.

Overall, I did think it took up too much valuable time. I would have rather had that extra time devoted to hearing what you all had to say about marketing.

(And I didn't love that it was done by a man either... I can see where Susan G. was coming from with her comment.)

While I did find it very funny and laughed along with the crowd, I didn't really think that the actor was necessary to make the posts any funnier than they already are.

But in the end, I don't think any real damage was done. In my mind, it was just as simple as a bit too much time spent off topic.

Overall, your panel was great. Your professionalism was clear and the rest of the content was very helpful.

I think it was a creative idea, but it just maybe didn't turn out to be the best way to get the panel started.

[Maggie Mason]

I also assumed you guys picked the pieces, or at least decided to be introduced that way, until they got to Jordan's design site and I realized they weren't going to project anything onscreen.

I think I might have been a little bummed if I were in your shoes too, but on the upside, I'm guessing everyone in the room went to check out your site because the piece was good. In the end, it was a cool experiment that took up a little too much of your time to present. Had you been asked to hand-select short pieces, it would have been perfect. As things stood, it was a fun ice breaker followed by solid content.

[Boston Mamas]

K, since I started visiting your MU blog regularly I have not only laughed or cried my eyes out, but been impressed by how you have managed to straddle (no pun intended, but take it if you will) the personalities - to have a full disclosure personal blog and maintain CMP and PBN with the professionalism you do.

Obviously, you're a testament that it can be done, but yes, confusing when those distinctions are blurred by people who don't understand the right intro for the right context.

-Christine

[Julie Pippert]

I was directly outside the room wishing desperately to be *inside* of it based on the rollicking laughs and entertained tweets.

I see what you're saying, but I also see the point about engaging interest and creating some entertainment. I suppose it is always that straddle, esp for mothers, between the urbane and the commonplace.

On the one hand, you are a well-respected successful writer/businesswoman, and on the other hand, you have diapers and laundry. The two converge in your writing.

I wonder...did you get to select that as your example post? Would you have felt better with something that represented more of the facets?

[tara wesely]

maybe it was kinda like link bait? the panel was definitely memorable, but, for the right reasons? i understand your concern - as part of the audience, i didn't come to be entertained (though i happily was). i wanted to learn from your hard-earned expertise and still have questions i would have liked addressed by the panel (but i was feeling pretty shy that weekend, so i probably wouldn't have asked anyway had there been more Q&A time).

i do think the intro was successful in setting up one of the points repeated throughout the session: we are not cookie cutter moms. we have different and distinct voices (illuminated by the cable guy readings) and what may interest one mom and her audience, may not make sense for another, so don't reach out to us with a cookie cutter PR pitch.

regardless of the intro, the session reasserted the entire panel's expertise, professionalism, and wicked senses of humor. kudos to all.

[Jenny, Bloggess]

I get what you’re saying about being multidimensional but personally that’s why I thought the comedian guy went over so well. Each of us has our own personality that comes out in our work and I think having one burly man playing 3 uniquely different characters was supposed to be an allusion to that. I can’t imagine that everyone who saw my video thought I was *only* about Southern preachers, Jesus and semen. Or perhaps they did. And perhaps they’re right.

In my real life I teach leadership conferences and workshops and we always build in ice-breakers and comic relief (especially at the beginning of the day) because people are often tired and unenthusiastic and it’s a great way to get the audience engaged. For a 9am session that happened after a long night of mardi gras partying I thought it was the perfect way to wake everyone up and get them back to enjoying the conference. The response seemed overwhelmingly positive and everyone was twittering and writing about it as one of the high-points of the conference. I think you and Jordan did an amazing job in the remaining 45 minutes discussing the challenges and pitfalls of marketing and public relations in spite of the fact that I was there mucking up stuff. I think I can safely say that your reputation is completely intact.

[katelin]

I have to say I thought it was a bit strange to start off with the three readings as well. But at the same time I thought it was hilarious and definitely eased whatever tension could have been in the room, at least I thought so.

I also thought that the rest of the panel definitely showed what you ladies knew and wanted to share with everyone else, even if it wasn't all about vasectomies and jesus, haha. :)

[Katie]

Kristen – I’m really sorry that you are wrestling with the choice of introduction material.

As someone that helped (on the back end) to get this panel ready, it does sting that you felt like you weren’t taken care of or taken seriously for that matter. Truly not at all what we wanted to happen for you or any panelist.

The focus was always meant to be on you and your strong contributions to online and offline dialogue on marketers, women, parenting, marriage and everything else you manage to pack into your Blogging world. The whole kit and caboodle.

The intent was an unorthodox introduction to unorthodox (and AWESOME) ladies who are powerful Blogging forces in their own (very unique) right. Then to take the discussion of your experiences as a Blogger and someone that is regularly approached by Marketers/PR flacks to the stage and into the Mom 2.0 summit attendees’ brains.

We truly think you are inspiring. If our bizarre sense of humor and weirdo introduction didn’t, in your mind, do you justice – then that is an absolute shame and failure on our end.

Knowing what I know now, reading this post vs. your reaction at the actual event, you handled yourself beautifully and shared some powerful knowledge to some amazing women. Thank you SO FRIGGING MUCH for that - you filled my brain and it was awesome :)

Mea culpa that the experience was less than savory to you.

[Emily]

I wasn't there but I think you hit the nail on the head with the "just a mom" comment. I don't read blogs by women who identify themselves as "just" moms and I don't want to be marketed to as only a mom. (I think that was the mahousive downfall of the motrin ads). I am a woman first and foremost and that alone makes me complicated. Add in wife, mother, friend, sister, traveller, whatever - the landscape is constantly changing. While I'm sad they surprised you with it (although kudos for you for appearing so cool!) I think you ARE funny and you ARE professional - its just another of the hats you wear and it seemed like they were highlighting one at the expense of the other.

[Jodi]

It was definitely funny, I'll admit. Doesn't change the fact that you came across as one of the most brilliant women I have met (and I think I even tweeted something like that during your session).

Jodi

[Isabel Kallman]

Kristen, I have to confess that I was not in the room as I was speaking immediately afterwards and needed to take care of some last-minute details.

I hear you and understand where you're coming from.

**I think this discussion is super valuable to all future panelists and moderators.**

Moderators need to focus on their roles. Moderator, are you there to balance the needs of the audience and panel? If not, turn it down or ask for another role.

Panelists need to think about how they want to be represented on stage.

Luckily the only thing I asked of my panel's moderator was "to make me look good." Vague, but without knowing it I had her thinking about my needs.

Lessons definitely learned for all from this experience.

Again, I wasn't in the room, but not surprised to hear from others that their take-away was that you are a fully-dimensionalized mother and professional.

Thank you for raising this issue.

[Laura]

Hey there. I think the readings and content were a surprise to almost everyone (I found out about it right before). That said, I'm 100% positive they were truly meant in a spirit of tribute and admiration. That was how it came across to me in the audience (and I was on high alert). I also thought they were a completely entertaining wake up first thing in the morning.

All that said, and as it happened, I thought it was an honest introduction to the multifaceted nature of everyone on the stage (Clearly, Jordan's site didn't work as well for that kind of interpretation. But the metaphor was fine).

You made a great point about the diversity of online content as related to marketing (having such diverse people and diverse sites on the stage all representing "moms". Awesome.) And I agree there was never enough time. I wanted you guys (and every other panel) to keep talking all day. But I thought you all did a great job at getting the point across about the variety of perspectives and type of sites each person represented... yourself representing at least five different sites and styles.

As someone who has been in the marketing profession for years, this is what I love about this voice and movement that women are leading online. That we can bring our distinct, unique and varied personalities, interests and facets to the table. And not be ashamed about any of it. There is a lovely authenticity, informality, no-shame-to-my-game quality to this professional endeavor and to the smart women leading it. I think it's fantastic.

And this is way too long of a comment. Urgh. My apologies.

[Liz@thisfullhouse]

Bottom line? They should have asked, or at least given you a heads up, rather than assuming that this would be the best representation of Kristen Chase.

Aaaand THAT, my friend, is the question corporations need to ask of themselves, especially when marketing to moms!

You, however, are a professional.

[Mama Bub]

I wasn't there, but can say that it would take all of 30 seconds reading your blog for someone to realize that you're more than funny. It's unfortunate to hear that it took up so much time, since people were there to hear what you had to say.

If I were in the room I might have found that it leveled the playing field a bit, that it bridged the gap between a powerhouse like you and a blogging fetus like myself. Which is not say that it brings you down a level, but maybe that it makes you (more) relatable. ?.

[mothergoosemouse]

I laughed, because it was a damn funny post.

But I didn't think it was fair to Jordan (excellent point, Susan), and considering that the intros were about all that I got to see before taking Margot into the hall, I was disappointed that valuable time was spent that way.

[Angela]

I think it was a good interpretation of your post, but your post didn't need interpretation. Honestly though, I don't think it was a great introduction for you. You're right. You are so much more than vibrators and vasectomies. While it's funny, I love it, and I'm sure it lightened the atmosphere tremendously; you're more professional than that. I wouldn't have been able to tell from the YouTube video that you were surprised by it though. You handled it incredibly gracefully.

[Naomi]

Geez... everything I read about this conference makes me even more depressed that I couldn't swing it. It sounds like it was amazing. And I am totally with you on the bizarro crux of pottymouthed, straight-shooting mommydom and serious upstanding citizen and concerned parent. Is it possible to be all at once? I think so.

But, that being said, adults who use terms like "the F word" are total weirdos. I mean, really.

[Heather]

My take is that the kirtsy folks were promoting this in a girl talk/informal way all along. It bothered me from the get go as I do what I do away from my blog professionally and not in a casual manner.

I ended up not being able to make the conference, but would have been disappointed that the intros took away from the time you all had to share. I'm more interested in your take on the consulting side of things than on someone else reading one of your posts I had already read the day before, yk?

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Thanks Caroline. I appreciate hearing from folks that attended!

[Deb on the Rocks]

It's interesting to know it was a surprise to you. I guess I assumed you picked the piece. Yikes. At the time I enjoyed it as a performance. Later, as Susan stated, I felt bad that it took up a lot of the panel's time when there was so much to discuss, that it didn't really honor Jordan's work at all, and as I reflected on the session I thought that the unorthodox introductions contributed to whatever possessed me to throw the vibrator. While you came across as entirely professional, I totally get your conflict.

[Mom101]

I am kind of with Susan on the "oh, those crazy mommmies" assessment - I wasn't there, but when I watched the video I cringed knowing that you were there as a professional. It was a panel on marketing, not humor or boundaries--or lack of boundaries?

But I love your point that maybe it helped (if indirectly) demonstrate that the moms of today are not home worrying about bathtub stains and ring around the collar.

[caroline]

I am a blogger AND a PR rep. That panel and your introduction was in keeping with the spirit of the summit. As marketers, we are looking to tap into a community and communities have many facets and personalities.

The intro was not a turn off (for me at least) and actually made me more curious about you and your work.

You guys all did a great job.

Caroline

[Susan Getgood]

First things first. I wanted to hear more from you, more from the audience. The intro ate up about 15 minutes which took time from the Q&A. The content of your panel,when you were finally allowed to get to it, was great. But there is so much more we could have discussed.

Now to my more personal reaction. YMMV. The idea of reading a speaker's writing as introduction is nothing new. Yet, while it was funny in places, it bothered me. First, you and the bloggess are *already* funny. There was no need to "interpret" your words. Jordan's blog on the other hand is highly visual. The Shakespeare read in the style of William Shatner was just lame.

I think the introduction format should fit all the panelists equally. That's why we tend to read short bios. Everyone has one. This didn't.

Finally, I can't help but have the feeling that while this was billed as laughing along with us, it felt more like laughing *at* women bloggers. "Those crazy mommies." I know I am probably in the minority with this reaction, but it is what it is.

Perhaps if it had been a woman doing the interpreting instead of a man dressed as a mechanic (dare I say redneck?) it might not bug me so much...

[Motherhood Uncensored]

I was hoping that was the case, and based on the tweets it seems as though there was a bigger takeaway.

But I do wonder if it was something that would have worked for Lisa Stone or some of our other professional speakers.

It was funny but seemed completely out of context in a way.

Who knows -- maybe times are a changing?

[Her Bad Mother]

It was funny. Different, to be sure. But funny. And you're right that it DID underscore the fact we are not our mothers' mothers.

And? Your poise during the panel was even more impressive considering that you had to follow Larry The Cable Guy. I was (I am) proud to be your friend.

xo

[beth]

perhaps not but you are a funny gal and I wonder if that was more of the focus. And you think things that a lot of us think but don't say-yet you say them. Whatever you say you will have an audience nonetheless.
Take Care!