The Power of Prayer

I crept into her room to say goodnight and she sat, kneeling on her bed, eyes closed and head down.

"Our Father...I pray..."

I toil with religion on an infrequent basis, but with her attending Catholic school and returning home with Latin songs, tales of Daniel in the lion's den, and a bunch of memorized prayers, it's become more present in my mind.

I have yet to find a place where I feel comfortable balancing the beliefs of the church and my own personal truths in such a way that brings me spiritual peace and understanding without the many formalities of religion that I personally despise.

As I continue to redefine the role of religion and faith in my life, I am attempting to break down each ritual to its core.

So when I take away the Our Fathers, the Hail Marys, and the genuflecting, I'm left with a chance to acknowledge my greatest hopes and my darkest fears. I'm expressing my thanks and owning my faults.

And I'm giving myself a chance to sit still for just a few moments and take everything in before it all flashes quickly past me.

That may not be how prayer is intended, but like accepting that you've got a problem, owning your thoughts and speaking them out loud is the first step towards acceptance and making them come to fruition.

So what are the chances that I'll find Michael Vartan wrapped up under the Christmas tree this year?

Comments

[Ameda]

I agree with Kara on Anne Lamott's Travelling Mercies.She really has a amazing true to herself faith.

[Karen (Submommy)]

On Michael Vartan - sorry to burst your bubble.

I've expressed on your blog before that I am a Christian - but the whole on-your-knees, cross-yourself, memorized stuff doesn't speak to me, either.

I don't believe God's that picky.

[goodfather]

My wife and I are both comfortable with not attending church (you could loosely define us as Protestants), but our three-year-old attends a Church pre-school - we have the same issues coming up.

I read a 'double-blind' study that measured two groups of patients with similar ailments in a hospital. One got prayer (lots of different religions and faiths were represented), the other did not. The group that got prayer did better. Hmmmm...

[carosgram]

It doesn't look good for your Christmas wish. Maybe a few more Act of Contritions and a First Friday Novena - lol. I think we all struggle with faith and the role of organized religion in our lives. It seems to me that your quiet times of listening are what pray is really all about. I also recommend Anne Lamont. Good luck with your journey. Thinking of you and wishing you the best

[Rita Arens]

We haven't found a "church home" (as my mother calls it) yet and I often wonder what my daughter thinks of our religious views, because I'm very into my relationship with God but hate most organized religion due to the issues I take with close-mindedness. We pray together before meals and every night -- right focusing just on being thankful for the great things we have, most of all each other. I think if Quinlan's catching on to that part, kickass.

[Melanie]

I'm not in the least little bit religious - but you've summed up what I have believed for a very long time. Prayer is a form of meditation. No matter where that meditation is directed - external or internal, God, Buddha, or oneself - I cannot see it as a bad thing. There's lots of research out there as well that shows that people who meditate are happier than those who do not, measured in a very quantifiable way (location of activity on fMRI scans of brain).

[Margie]

Found my home at the Unitarian Universalist church down the road (a place that has a lot of current and ex-Catholics in its ranks (me), as well as Pagans, Buddhists, Atheists, agnostics, you name it, they probably exist at UU). What a hard thing it is for individuals to wrestle with religion or spirituality, but with my first on the way, I am now gaining the start of a whole new perspective on just how hard it looks like it can be! Feeling your pain. Oh - and thanks! I had no idea who Michael Vartan was, but now I've looked him up, and that was fun! Hope you find him on Christmas morning!

[Tara Livesay]

read Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller ... he articulates well the search for God and coming to grips with "faith" - the very conservative Christian groups hate him --- calling him a heretic but as a person attempting to love like Jesus I found it very real and funny and thought provoking ... if you like it another great read is his book "Searching for God knows what" -- T.

[Stacey]

Thanks for putting into words exactly what I am feeling these days myself. I'm a cradle Catholic, but suffice it to say, that cradle rocked, the bough broke, etc etc. My girls went to Catholic school too, and I experienced all those same feelings you are having. (Catholic guilt is a powerful entity). One thing I did learn in my days as a "good" Catholic though, is that there is no wrong way to pray. Yes, all those formal prayers make us feel like those are the "right" ones, but that doesn't make them the only ones. Prayer is a conversation with God (or Allah, or whoever you want). Pure and simple.

I don't know that praying for a sexy beau hunk under the tree is proper though. ;-)

[Suebob]

Here is my church lady post I wrote a while back: http://redstapler23.blogspot.com/2007/04/what-me-church-lady.html

You might try one of the more liberal denominations, like United Church of Christ, Religious Science (not Christian Science - many of them have been renamed "Centers for Positive Living" or Unity (my church, which I love). There are even some fabulous liberal United Methodist churches out there. Good luck.

[kara]

You need to check out Anne Lamott. Start with her book Travelling Mercies. She has a wonderful true to herself faith. I am sure you have just loads and loads of time to do this (insert sarcasm here)...but, I thought I would pass it on anyway. Her faith is very unconventional. But it is faith true.

[bridge]

Gosh, so with you one this one. I am always struggling with spirituality balanced with a real life ethics. I try never to get wrapped up in Dogma. I go to the Dharma talk on Monday, Episcopal Church on Sunday and a Catholic Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve.

[Spirit]

Mmmm... Michael Vartan. Yummy.

Like Jennifer, I find problems with most organized religions. Although Paganism is not for everyone, I gravitated towards it as well (mostly Wicca, to be specific).

I recently started blogging about it. Check it out if you like.

[Courtney]

I know what you mean. I wrote a post in my blog about a month or 2 ago about the same thing if you want to read it you can find it here http://chaosisus.blogspot.com/2008/10/my-religion.html. At times religion confuses the heck out of me and at other times i am at peace with it. I still have not figured it all out but i think i have the basics of what i believe. But this is coming from a interacially married, bisexual, who was pregnant with her first child before she was married so i might not be th eone to talk to about it lol.

[MommyNamedApril]

depends on who you're paying to get him there. ;-)

[anita doberman]

Slim...but you never know maybe an imitation Vartan?
I just want an Italian Pandoro (like a sweet cake) for Christmas...

[Jennier Suarez]

I feel the same way about a lot organized religon. The closest thing I've found that fits me (although not perfectly) is paganism.

This is how I feel about it:

All religions are simply a different path to a common center.

I feel that most religions teach us to live a good life and to help others. If we can do that, then we are on the right path.

[Issa]

Well mines Will Smith, but I think we both might want to lower our expectations.

I know next to nothing about religion. I was raised by a recovering Baptist and a holiday Jew Atheist for crying out loud. So, I'm no help, except to say, take out of it what you need. What makes you comfortable. Most religious people will never tell you that, but it's how I feel. I believe in God, in a higher power, in angels protecting me and my kids. The rest of the dogmatic, egotistical, women suck and should be quiet and I can abuse my kids and be forgiven on Sunday, only to go and abuse them on Monday, this I don't believe in.

[Jenna]

Dude, sorry to break it to you but I already asked Santa for Michael Vartan (with a bow and whipped cream), like TWO months ago.

He's so going to be under MY tree.

(Oh wait, sorry, this was a totally serious, heartfelt post about religion and spirituality and I'm stuck here with visions of Michael Vaughn, I mean "Vartan", under my tree. Oops.)

[Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas]

The exact same as me finding Hugh Jackman with a big red bow on his wanker under my tree.

HA! I'm Catholic and I really really try to be a good one. See how I fail sometimes?