The Case of the Missing Rolling Pin

My husband is gone for another long trip and I had planned to occupy the kids with cookie and salt dough ornament making, both of which require the use of a rolling pin.

I had remembered some sort of debacle between my husband, the kids, and said rolling pin a few days prior, mainly because they were fighting over it, and so he took it away.

Of course, he could have just put in back in the drawer, but with a husband who's got a touch of ADHD, he probably was about to do that but then his phone rang and he had to pee, and so he put it in some ridiculous place - a place that I could not, for the life of me, locate.

He's the one who seconds before having to leave for a trip will be searching madly for his passport or his work ID. Or will call me from the airport asking me to find "three white papers with some writing on it" that he can't remember where he put but he desperately needs before flying off to Zurich.

"Could be in my work folder or in my drawer. Or maybe in the trash."

Nice.

So when he told me he put it above the fridge, I only half believed him.

And wouldn't you know that when I went to find it so that we could begin our weekend full of crafty, sugary goodness, it was nowhere to be found.

A big fat wooden rolling pin up and GONE.

I asked him where exactly he might have put it, and he suggested the kitchen cabinets (very specific, thanks), the dining room credenza (huh?) or the hall closet (WTF?).

Not surprisingly, I had already checked all those places, hell even the bathroom, and could not find the fucking rolling pin.

So I threatened to stick it up his ass (because, as my good friend says, if it was up there, he'd definitely know where the hell it was), and that was that.

Well, just this morning, he texts me about his new Citibank Government card, which he received about two months ago, but like the rest of his mail, it sits, unopened in our letter basket. That is unless he actually did find it and then who knows where the hell he put it, mainly because putting it IN his wallet would be too logical.

So, upon his asking me where it was via text, I responded:

"You received that card ages ago, dear. It's here somewhere. Probably having beers with the rolling pin."

Comments

[Tiffany]

Hey when you find that rolling pin and gov't card... could you see if maybe my husband's original gov't card is partying with them? It's long gone. He knew it's whereabouts for all of 3 minutes, before he set it down and forgot about its existance.

[Karen (Submommy)]

I bet at least one set of our missing keys has joined the party.

[Maman]

At our house we have the opposite problem.

We have to put a code on the TV to make sure girls don't stay up all night watching it... Fun Daddy is no longer allowed to have said code because it is well known that he will spill it the second he gets it...

[Chalsey]

Ugh, my husband does the exact same thing. Drives me completely insane.

[heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire]

We found the remote in the fridge and freezer on several occasions. No one is saying that they did it and they all can reach the freezer.

[tanyapilot]

OMG- i had the exact experience yesterday! are we married to the same pilot?? I ended up using a wine bottle as a rolling pin- and drinking plenty from it as we made cookies!

[Mom101]

I'm dreaming of a husband who puts things away. Anywhere. Even in a credenza.

[Michelle]

My husband can never find what he has put down in the house.

He has stopped using the excuse that the kitchen is my workplace and the shed is his though.

[Asianmommy]

Our house is like that, too. In fact, I just went out and bought a new rolling pin the other day--knowing full well that we have one buried somewhere in this house!

[abbyjess]

Oh, that is so my life. We can't leave the house without a 20 minute hunt for my husband's wallet which has been located such odd places as in the bathroom closet by the toothbrushes, next to the toaster, and under the rocking chair in my son's room. Of course, he only makes it worse since I swear his idea of looking involves closing his eyes and doing a 360 then waiting for me to find it.

I hope you find your rolling pin soon.

[Vee]

Hahahaha. Your husband and I have this in common. I imagine this scenario 10002103941392 times over when I'm with someone.

[Heather]

I had the same problem with my son's winter boots last week. I wanted him to wear them but my husband put them someplace other than where they should be.

They were probably having a beer with the rolling pin too.

[The Mrs.]

That was great!

[Heather]

Wine bottle. For use as rolling pin substitute only of course. ;-) Applesauce half and half with cinnamon works well and isn't as fussy as dough ornaments. Will be doing those later this week, though knowing my luck one of mine will turn up w/ an heretofore unknown cinnamon allergy. I hate to laugh at your expense, but I am anyway.

[Christina]

LOL. Did you look in the toy box? Because if your kids are anything like mine, he probably put it there knowing that the kids would never think to look in there.

[Erin]

Oh I LOVE that! I can't wait until the next time K loses something so I can use it!

Truly awesome!

[Jaime]

Best response ever. ;)

[Laura]

What a coincidence. only today I found;

A sword
A toy rifle
2 drum sticks
A football

and finally

A hot water bottle

All on the top of our kitchen cupboards. A couple of months worth of confiscations.

... I'm just not sure about the hot water bottle though

[Nicole]

Heh. I laugh, not because I see Darren doing that, but because in this family I am that person that leaves stuff in weird places.

He somehow finds it and puts it back.

[Redneck Mommy]

Laughing.

God. Next time my arse of a husband does the VERY same thing, I'm sending him to you.

Your one liners are waaaay wittier than mine.

Heh.

[Julie]

I still like what you said to me about it: "I know he didn't put it anywhere up high."

Hey, maybe it's under the bed.