Orgasm for Peace - Make Moregasm not Wargasm (Tomorrow 7:04am EST, seriously)
As you may have read earlier today, I could use any excuse for alone time these days, so it wasn't hard for me to get behind orgasming to support world peace with Global Orgasm. Of course, considering all the running around and chasing after we do all day long, we should be able to get off by just drinking a cup of coffee in complete silence.
Okay, a strategically placed vibrating cup, perhaps.
Since it's rarely that simple, there is a two-hour window (6-8am EST), although if you're an overachiever, you should aim for the exact moment of the Winter Solstice - 7:04am EST.
But since we are parents, a little romp in the sack does take a little preparation. Decide tonight whether you're going to draw straws and let someone give the gift of orgasm to the other ('tis the season of giving, people), or if you're going to make a date for morning sex. Since it's still pretty dark out, you won't have to worry about your nakedness blinding your spouse under the bright lights (thank god), but if your kids are early risers, you might want to be ready with a dvd and waffles.
And just make sure you lock your door.
[Thanks to MochaMomma for the heads up. For more tips on how to get off fast, visit the Mominatrix]
Various people in the world get the business loans in different banks, because that's comfortable.
Posted by: RubyJACOBSON | May 21, 2010 at 01:13 AM
My husband is laid off and we have a little romp in the sack (in our office/guest room with the pull out bed) while our two little one's sleep. This has been working for us the past week or so. Otherwise, finding time is impossible.
Posted by: meredith | January 13, 2009 at 04:13 PM
OH man, I remember walking in on Mom and Dad when I was 10.. scarring, let me tell you. All I wanted was permission for a freezy pop, and I see mom shirtless on top of Dad. YIKES.
Posted by: Ginn | December 21, 2008 at 03:33 PM
HAHAHA! I didn't read this until today, but apparently I subconsciously knew about it. Because I totally participated this morning.
Posted by: Becky | December 21, 2008 at 01:16 PM
any excuse. i'll happily join in!
xoxo
b.
Posted by: just beth | December 21, 2008 at 12:18 PM
Fuck. I missed my peak.
Posted by: mothergoosemouse | December 21, 2008 at 10:15 AM
no, no , no. I will not partake in such earthly delights when there is a much bigger ideal. I need to prepare the meal.
Posted by: mannequin | December 21, 2008 at 09:31 AM
Ha! I love this.
Posted by: Linda | December 21, 2008 at 09:17 AM
Are you kidding? My kids are up by 6am every day, and my son isn't easily distracted. :(
We may or may not have taken care of business last night, though. Maybe that'll count. Umm, if we did it. I'm not saying.
Posted by: Bill | December 21, 2008 at 07:54 AM
good that's like 9:04 MST, so maybe I may just get lucky.
Posted by: bridge | December 21, 2008 at 12:13 AM
While it is a nice idea I plan on being asleep at that time. That to me would be orgasmic all by it's self.
Posted by: Awesome Mom | December 20, 2008 at 11:38 PM
I'm just hoping to check "group sex" off my list.
heh
Posted by: Motherhood Uncensored | December 20, 2008 at 11:15 PM
I have to be honest, I like the idea of people lighting a candle at once. Or doing downward dog all at once. Or flipping the bird to George Bush all at once.
But the idea of having an orgasm at the very moment that other (potentially creepy) people are doing the same? Well, that image in my head is not going to, um...facilitate matters.
Posted by: mom101 | December 20, 2008 at 10:02 PM