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December 19, 2008


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My brain goes back to Angelina Jolie, when she talks about her mother - she says, she never yelled. She was so kind and calm.

Hah. And look at how she turned out in her teens and early adult years. NE Way, any normal person, even a Christian, even a mom with 1/2 a brain, even the most gentle of creatures, get stressed and yell.

There's a fisaud (spelling?) that there are these perfect mothers, so gentle, have everything under control all of the time, have a perfect house, never failing at housework, etc.

HA! I don't know if that's possible, even in the best of utopias.

Negative energy in, negative energy out. It's all gotta go somewhere...

Anyway, I am taking an adolescent psych class.

Look up Dr. Baumrind's work on authoritarian, authoritative, and passive parenting styles. Lots of useful info!!!

Happy day...

soooooooo sweet :)

Conversation with the hubby a few minutes ago:
Me: Hey honey, if you get an eye infection, I'm supposed to squirt breastmilk in it!
Him: *after a handful of seconds of blank staring* Ew. What? No, ew. Stop. Ew.

Oh just hell. I know so much of what it feels like to explose on your toddler. A month after my husband left, on his six month deployment, and a week before my time of the month I let my daughter have it on the way home from her daycare. I screamed like I hadn't in years. I was frustrated and scared and pissy with PMS and cranky and scared. She started crying and I just got more mad, but I shut up. We got home and she went to her room and some quiet time and I just took a moment to breath. This moment lives in my head. This moment haunts me that I will turn into my mother who shamed me for the slightest thing. This moment wakes me up at night as I worry if I have ruined her for life. My husband tells me she won't remember this, but I know I will.


That sucks. I agree next time put it in a dropper and say it is magic eye medicine or some such thing.

Right now my 3 week old has a clogged tear duct. I have been trying to spray the milk directly from nipple to eye. Not working out so well... must get spoon me thinks.

You should have told her that the breast milk was magic fairy eye juice that comes from a Disney princess!!!

As for the yelling, it's par for the course...last week I got called a "MEAN MOMMY MONSTER. Top that.

milk in the eye=pink eye cure, right?

Also, no real advice, all my empathy and understanding.

I'm afraid my kids won't remember the mommy I was when I had nothing but patience for quiet redirection and reassurances that they were doing okay and that maybe they should try something a different way for a better result.

Now... Wynnie waits 5 minutes, then approaches me with an "I'm sorry I upset you Mommy." OH GOD...kill me now.

I felt bad for snapping today. Not at the baby, 'cause uhm, she's 4 months old, but enough in her vicinity that I felt really really guilty afterwards.

I got a letter once from my oldest that said "Mommy, even when you yell and are mean, I still love you." Talk about a tear-jerker. And today was an extremely rare day that I wasn't instantly cranky and snappy *all day* with my kids (what can I say- 4th kid, not getting any sleep) and my 4yo- who never ever NEVER hugs and kisses- was giving me hugs all day and said "Mommy, I like you when you're nice!"

I think it's hard- if not impossible- to remember that we are only human, and that it's ok for us to be stressed out and tired and angry and frustrated. Those are all valid emotions. And it's also ok for our kids to see us like this. They don't need to think that we're infallible. And kids understand so much more than we give them credit for- see? She knows you still love her!

And breastmilk is nature's cure-all, yay! I've used it on cuts, bruises, pinkeye and- recently even- ear infections. Got rid of it faster than any antibiotic ever had with my 2nd. Wish I'd thought of it with him!

Yeah. I made Poo cry at the grocery store yesterday when I finally told her to be quiet in a rather ... impolite fashion. I just couldn't think with the noise.

The beast gets all of us. You are doing right by her, she knows you love her.


that letter is fantastic.

breastmilk cures all. :-)

never get rid of that letter

Oh Jesus that letter brought tears to my eyes.

Hahah!! I just found his blog and I LOVE it! Sorry it was such a hard day though.

I think I'll link it to my new blog http://babymakingmachine.blogspot.com

This is exciting!

Thanks for the inspiration!

The letter is just too sweet. She's learning all the important stuff. And you know, she's going to get so much love from her siblings, i'm convinced it makes up for all the frustrations of having them. (from someone who has two sisters and is really sad to think her son might end up an 'only one')

Hopefully she'll let you put in the mommy-medicine so you can avoid the doctor-medicine. Seriously, that eye-ointment stuff? so much scarier!

It's less that it's milk and more that it's in her eyeballs...

Lime popsicles, anyone? (sigh)

Mothering is a lot harder than it looks. Who knew you'd have to do stuff like this?

K tells me I hurt his feelings when I loose it like that. I only have one so I am giving major props to you for holding your shit together. Especially with the hubs gone so much. Happy Holidays and they all know that you love them. They do. = )

ahem, left out the first step

*1. Have subject lay head back

at the end, when they open their eye, they still need to have their head back or the liquid will just drip down their face.

a trick I learned from my ophthalmologist (when I had to put drops in my husband's eye after lasik -- bug baby that he was):

1. let subject close eyes
2. apply small amount of desirable eye stuff in the corner of the eye socket
3. let subject open eye
4. eye takes on the liquid -- no fuss, no muss.

you never should have let her know it was breast milk. just 'medecine'.

it all evens out: she'll rage at you when she is a teen. that's the real scary time, seeing your beast rage back at you, and recognizing the exact pitch of the screech.

the world of motherhood is sometimes so real that it scares me too. yr words bind us all closer- we know sister. we know. happy holidays xo

I hate it when I do that to my own daughter. The worst was I did it the day we brought her brother home. She was talking my ear's off about her adventures staying at her grandparent's while I was birthing her brother and I just wanted her to be quiet for one minute. I snapped but then that mommy guilt pulled her into my lap and just listened to all she had to say until she was done. I felt horrible for yelling at her.

Breastmilk in the eye! AWESOME!! I know it works for sore cracked nipples but eye crusties wow! Wonderdrug!

I yell all too often, and I feel like a terrible mom.

Breastmilk has natural antibodies -- great for cuts, wounds, and seepy eyes.

Maybe I should sell mine by the bottle...

We all do it. Our parents did it.

But we do what our parents didn't: Apologize and explain.

(And if there's anybody out there who had parents who apologized and explained - you were way lucky.)

Milk in her eye? I don't get it.

How do people not know that breastmilk cures everything!? Lose a limb? Grow it back with a couple squirts!

Seriously though - I used it to clear up a nasty (previously untreatable) case of eczema back when I had it readily available. Kinda wish I'd stashed some aside just for my own use later.

Wow. I understand this very much.

We're on snow day 5 here, going a little kookoo, and yesterday I let loose on them both. Screamed, yelled, etc.

Girl Child said "Mommy when you yell at me like that it breaks my heart."


When the stress takes over I lose it too. I tell my kids "Do you want Mommy to use the scary voice". That's how they know I'm getting pushed to my limit and if they keep up whatever they are doing my beast WILL come out.

That letter is adorable. Heartbreaking, guilt inducing, ADORABLE.

What does breast milk in the eye do? Is it a magic remedy? That's awesome if it is! I totally didn't need the translation. I got it. She's very clever!

I know this is tangential, but I'm confused. What is the benefit of putting breastmilk in her eye?

i would have burst into tears at that note. i lost it the other day, but not at my kids. it was at the dog. when ellie turned the corner after my raging was over and said in this tiny, scared voice, "mama?" my heart nearly broke. i felt terrible. but she survived. and with a mom like you, quinlan is more than surviving. you're doing great, and so is she. be encouraged today.

It's tough. I see that with Miss Nat also.

She is the one who started this whole adventure for me, and sometimes when I see her turning the corner and going into her room I think about when she was tiny and trying to push a baby doll stroller down our block.

Now she has two siblings and things are just different and time is really going by! And there is just so much more on our minds so its easy to be frustrated.

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