All in the Name of Research

If you follow me on twitter, then you know I've been drilling people for their favorite sex scenes from a movie, hot and sexy books not found in the "X-rated" section at the bookstore, and their experiences with online dating services.

No, I'm not leaving my husband. I'm writing a book. And frorm my requests, I'm guessing you can figure out what it's about.

So, I'd love to know your feedback, in comments or email, about the following:

1) Best "would make me want to have sex with my spouse" scenes in a movie (preferably ones that do not include Glenn Close, Michael Douglas, or Kathleen Turner). I also ruled out Wild Things.

Here's what people have mentiioned so far. Feel free to agree or disagree if you can't think of new ones:

9 1/2 Weeks, Lust, Body Heat, Top Gun (my personal fave), The Notebook, Atonement (yum), Original Sin, Tie Me Up Tie Me Down, Thomas Crown Affair, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Unfaithful, Cold Mountain, Unbearable Lightness of Being.

2) Best "I'm on bedrest so I can only read about sex" books -- preferably books not considered "romance novels" - although I'm including a Michael Vartan calendar since that's about what I can handle reading these days.

Here's what people have suggested:

Anais Nin, Sookie Sackhouse, Laurell K Hamiltons Merry Gentry or Anita Blake

3) Your experience with any online dating services (i.e. Cupid, Match, Yahoo, E-Harmony). I'm trying to get a sense of the differences between pay and free, as well as the small or big nuances that might set each apart.

*Edited to add: Other than the whole "Match = Hookup and eHarmony = Relationship" (which is sort of subjective), can anyone comment on the overall set up differences, etc.?

So, suggest away!

Comments

[Chelle]

Ha! Jacqueline Carey - Any of the Kuchiel's Legacy books. There are a few rough scenes (being a form of adventure book) but I have loved every single one and have read them many times over. In the land of Terra D'Ange, making love is a sacred and religious experience. :D

[Kelly]

I love the books by Diana Galbaldon - Outlander series... Jaime and Claire - sigh.... some very sexy scenes surrounded by historical context. I think book stores often put it in romance section but I wouldn't at all... the only caveat is you need to get through the first 100 pages or so of the 1st book - once you are through those - i've gotten at least 10 other women addicted.

[Vicki]

Rising Sun - The scene in the beginning where the girl (who winds up, um, dead, but whatever) and the guy do it on a conference table. Still get hot thinking about that one ...

And The English Patient, where they do it standing up at the christmas party. Swoon.

[Tracy]

Any book by Jennifer Crusie, Welcome to Temptation especially. She writes steamy chic lit. Good stories, hot sex.

Movie scene- back of the limo with Kevin Cosner in No Way Out. Or in Bull Durham, hot, hot, hot for the 80's.

[Becky Scott]

For the movie scenes? Like Water for Chocolate. Beautiful. Touching. HOT (literally!).

[red_eye]

Here is one I promise most haven't seen.
Movie Title: Zandalee
Year (1991)
The heat comes from a scene about midway through with Nicolas Cage and Erika Anderson where they are lounging post coitally. And he tries something new with her involving some oil and illegal substances. The unrated version is a MUST.

[Alecia McLochlin]

Movies: The Lover, Henry and June, Roadhouse (Dalton up in the barn with whatshername.)

Books: Anything by Anais Nin. "The Lover" by Marguerite Duras (read before you see the movie.)

[Sammy]

An oldie but a goodie -- The Big Easy with one of the Quaids and Ellen Barkin.

[lildb]

last one, swear: Swimming Pool. (not the last bit. the other bits. the sexxxy ones.)

(oh. and also Bound. if you aren't disinterested in gay sex.)

[lildb]

Oh!, doy. Also: Henry and June. HOT.

[lildb]

Quills. DEAD sexy. Joaquin Phoenix, Geoffrey Rush, Kate Winslet.

Joa.quin.Phoe.nix.

*moistens*

[Surrender Dorothy's Husband]

So which movie did my wife vote for???? Might be time for a little 'movie night' at the old Chateau...

[Jamie]

I like the scenes in "Shakespeare in Love" and "The Illusionist".

[Amber]

I was going to say the same thing about the "Meet Joe Black" scene but Jen beat me to it. So I know I'm going to sound like SUCH a dork, but I really think that the entire Twilight series is the CLEANEST and SEXIEST books I've ever read. Seriously, something about Edward makes me want to have sex with anyone...or no one at all.
And, I know it's gross and all, but Flowers in the Attic is pretty sexy, too. Even though it's brother-on-sister. Ew.

[Lynn]

I don't comment here often but the scene in Enemy at the Gates with Jude Law and Rachel Weisz.

[mom101]

Ok I know this is so predictable for me but George Clooney in Out of Sight made me want to have sex with whoever might have been sitting near me in the theater at that moment. Ideally George Clooney.

Sin City is also pretty hot if you like it dark.

I could write a whole book on Match and nearly did. It's changed a lot since back in the day but I thought it was fun. I went out with a Blue Man!

[Jenn]

I can't think of a movie right now but I do have a book, or series of books I should say that do it for me. J.D. Robb's In Death series, mainly the first few books. The love scenes between Roarke and Eve, so very hot and steamy. Granted with 25+ books in the series the scenes have gotten old and repetitive so I tend to skim them now but boy, I was grabbing M a lot when I first started reading those.

I tried the free version of eharmony for a bit, didn't care for it. So then I decided to try yahoo personals. I did only the free version at first but then did a 3 month plan when I found some possible matches. The one guy I met with didn't work out so I cancelled. Two days or so later my husband messaged me and I signed back up. Seemed to work for us:)

[Jessica]

The movie "The Lover" really does it for me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lover_(film)

Maybe it's just me and my thing for hot Asian men, but yowza!

[Stephanie]

For books: Anne Rice, "The Beauty Chronicles". omg.....

[emily]

AND- Thelma and Louise, when Brad Pit shows Geena Davis what she's been missing- OMG his pelvis looks incredible.

[emily]

Well, I don't know about making you want to have sex with your husband, but Unfaithful is hot- when Diane Lane is just trembling- I want to feel like that.. Also, Little Children (another affair) is pretty good, the guy is beautiful- I think it's Patrick Something, maybe Harris? I could go for some of him right now....

[Marinka]

The scene in "Out of Africa" where he washes her hair does something to me. And when she says "I want to move". I saw that movie when I was about 15. No wonder I was a whore in high school.

[Gina]

OK, so this isn't even an actual sex scene, but the scene in The Horse Whisperer at the dance. The whole thing with her husband being there and the sexual tension of not being able to do anything more than dance gets me every time.

[Denise]

The scene on the dock in Oyster Farmer. Very sweet & hot.

[Jen]

I would have to say 8 mile...when they are in the plant.

[Jasileet]

Underworld 2. zomg.

[Dana]

uhh...that's Sea of Love, not scene of love. Typos galore in that previous comment!

[Dana]

Okay, it's been awhile since I've seen this movie, but there's the grocery store scene in the movie Scene of Love that I really thought was interesting. Probably because my husband manages a grocery store and...ummm... yeah.

Haha. The things you get me to confess, girl!

[Meredith]

1) Movies: Domino - I don't what it is about that scene, but it gets me going every time.

2) Favorite Authors J.R. Ward, Susan Carroll, Angela Knight, Kinley MacGregor, Karen Marie Moning

Favorite Books: "To Tame a Highland Warrior", Karen Marie Moning
"If you Desire", Kresley Cole
"Dance with the Devil", Sherrilyn Kenyon

[Lori at Spinning Yellow]

I would add The Big Easy and Cruel Intentions.

[Amanda]

Nicholas Sparks' books are in the general fiction area of the bookstore, so I'm nominating his books. I think it's the build up until his characters FINALLY end up in bed together is what does it for me.

What about those of us who met our spouses in Yahoo! chat 10 years ago before all those dating services were popular? Here we are 10 years and 2 kids later and still happy (most days). My bil and his wife met online back when there were still listservs about 20 years ago. They've been married 18.

[LiteralDan]

I haven't seen anyone throw out any James Bond movies, so allow me to do that now. They're all pretty dependable, but I remember "Die Another Day" being particularly good.

Also, "Out of Sight".

[Courtney]

all i can think of is Titanic. Although i dispise that movie after seeing it a gazillion times i do think the sex scene in the car is HOTT!

[Assertagirl]

I met my husband through an online dating service! Would be happy to tell you about it if you'd like to hear it.

[Christine]

Okay, note to self, rent Big Easy.......the one love scene in A Walk to Remember does it for me. Love Janet Evanovich books and Jennifer Cruise, not super steamy, but they make we want to send the kids outside to play while I play with daddy......

[Liv]

So weird - right after I read this, I started reading the new Entertainment Weekly that came in the mail, and it has a piece exactly on this topic! The top 20 sexiest film scenes (a lot of which your commentators are citing, so I guess it's pretty accurate) or something like that.

[susieshomemade]

Unfaithful would get my vote:-)

[jen]

Brad Pitt and Claire Forlani- Meet Joe Black. Might just have to go watch that now!

[Melanie]

This isn't the "hottest" one I've seen...most of those are already listed, but I always get a little pumped up when I see Legends of the Fall. Something about those muscles in Brad Pitt's back. . . Also, History of Violence was really weird, but that sex scene... Whew!!(the cheerleader one, not the fight-turned-hot-sex-one.)

[Olivia]

In the Reaping the guy drugs the girl and she vaguely remembers it... kind of creepy hot. Oh don't act like it's just me!

Also, for books, the Twilight series... so glad I never called my husband Jacob!

[Monica]

I very much enjoy a random Leonardo scene from The Departed - when he finally takes the lady doctor (I don't even know her name). Leo was super, super sexy. All grown up, strong - sigh
As for sexless maternity leave... I hate to jump on the mega tween bandwagon - but the Twilight Saga is a fantastic read, and quick even with 2,500 pages, I was sad when it was all over. Believe me, it's not just a book for the young people.

[ben]

Okay, I was basically gonna write Nelle's comment. So, yeah, check out the trailer http://www.palmpictures.com/film/sex-and-lucia.php

I was also gonna say Basic Instinct, but you kinda nixed that idea, darn it.

[Trista]

Um...really like the sex scene in Monsters ball...rest of movie is weird...but, yeah.

[jen]

Book: The Bride Stripped Bare, an explicit recount of a woman's sexual awakening.

[Jennifer]

The Notebook when the FINALLY do it.

(movie version)

[Melissa Walker]

The first scene that comes to mind is in the movie Wonderland (with Val Kilmer and Kate Bosworth) it doesn't actually show too much, but is very suggestive. I think my other favorite is the scene from the remake of The Thomas Crowne Affair. Rene Russo is HOT!

[Mel]

all im saying is fatal attraction.

[Aaron]

"Lost Highway" has a scene that... goodness, just recalling the scene makes me want to go upstairs and yank my wife out of the shower.

[Backpacking Dad]

Mulholland Drive.

Not a great movie overall, but worth it for this scene:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=related&v=KUwnSKJ3NU4

Although if you watch it out of context it just looks like it was written by a frat guy who wanted to show two chicks doin' it.

[Ruby Soho]

In addition to Ninth Gate, there's The Devil's Advocate. And I guess I skew young, because Cruel Intentions with SMG and Ryan Phillipe gets me every time.

[Rita Arens]

Dude, I was just getting ready to e-mail you about the Twitter stuff, then I remembered your project. :)

[gina]

the movie is The Ninth Gate Johnny Depp having sex in front of a burning castle so freaken hot. Match.com is where i reconeected with a boyfriend from highschool we are celebrating 6 years of marriage next month. V.C Andrews early books like someone else said are good

[MelanieM]

1. One of my favorite sex scenes is in the Wedding Date in the boat with Debra Messing.

3. Match.com. I met my fiance on Match.com a year and a half ago. I went on Match just to "test" it out because I work in marketing with all women and hadn't met anyone at the good old bar so I gave it a try. For me one of the great things was the variety of people on Match. Match is so well known that you would of course have your sketchy men and the men that just wanted a short term relationship (if ya know what i mean), but once you weeded out those there were still a lot of nice guys that I met. I went on dates with three in the three months I was on match and I just didnt click with the first two. With the last one we talked for about a month before we met and just hit it off from the start. Once we met it was the same in person and we just knew that this was right. He proposed after a year of dating and we are getting married next fall! Yay for a happy ending!

[Maggie]

I've done online dating a few times--I definitely recommend it, and I'm not even embarassed any more (contrary to 3 years ago) to tell people that my boyfriend and I (almost 2 years) met on Match.com!

I've done both Match and eHarmony--I recommend either. I definitely am more about the "pay" sites, because it makes me more comfortable thinking/hoping that sketchballs out there wouldn't pay money to find innocent girls/women to prey on.

When I tell friends to try online dating, I usually suggest they start with eHarmony--it's MUCH more structured, and I like the fact that only people who match your profile are sent to you, as opposed to Match, where any old Joe can search with whatever criteria they choose (and I found, it seemed like more people on Match were just looking for a hookup. But, it's also been 2 years since I've been on there, so things may have changed). Of course, again, I have a very successful relationship from Match! eHarmony is just a good jumping-off point to get the feel for online dating. If a friend isn't having much luck with that, then I send them out to "open water" and suggest they try Match!

As for books, The Blue Bistro comes to mind...

[MommyNamedApril]

well, looks like my votes have already been covered. i was going to say Top Gun *swoon* and for reading? Anne Rice. Not familiar with any dating services, sorry. met hubs in college spanish class. que romantico. heh.

[Frema]

AMEN on "Unfaithful" and the Sleeping Beauty recommendations.

I've also been partial to "love scenes" in the older V.C. Andrews books (aka "Flowers in the Attic" and "Heaven" series).

[Alice]

Kelley Armstrong's books in the women of the otherworld series, and I sencond Laurell K Hamilton (though her writing is kind of ... eh.)
A Room With a View is a strange turn-on of a movie - I think it's that whole repression getting to get (a little) unleashed at the end.

Will add more if I think of them; typically if I'm looking for smut, I just, well, go for smut, so this is an interesting mental exercise.

[Amanda]

Yup, The Big Easy is a slam dunk. Call me a prude, but I think it was Howard's End with Emma Thompson and Anthony Hopkins...the wanting, it was like, damn, I can, so I will.

[Misti]

Movie that makes me want to jump my husband...well, it doesn't take much for me ... the love scene towards the end of the Sex and the City movie, when Miranda and Steve make up...that one is pretty hot and it has undertones of the importance of being forgiving and understanding in a relationship, which remind me how blessed I am to have such a wonderful husband that puts up with my crap.
As for being on bedrest, I would probably say the same movie...
I met my husband online 8 years ago...I blogged about it here...
http://goobersmoochx3.blogspot.com/2008/10/wuvtwue-wuv.html

[Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas]

OMG!! Watch the sex scene with Dennis Quaid and Ellen Barkin in The Big Easy. OMG OMG. Un-freakin-believable. If you're not hot after that, you're made of stone.

[mamadaisy]

I second and third the nomination of the Sleeping Beauty books. they are OH SO NAUGHTY!!!

[Alana]

"Lady Chatterly's Lover" - D.H. Lawrence.

Met my husband via Match.com

Not sure about a movie...

[Sarah]

That Anne Rice series is pretty naughty. And very hot during a sexless maternity leave.

You might consider looking into some historical fiction authors who write about Elizabethan and Tudor England. I know that sounds totally off the wall, but some of those books are absolute smut. Tension, intrigue, sexual prowess, flirtation, flattery, seduction, etc. There is also rape in a few of them, though, so that's up to you.

[goodfather]

I don't (and never did) do dating sites, so I'm no help there.

I don't have time to read, strike two...

Movies: Blue Crush, Scent of a Woman (Hoo-ah!), It's a Wonderful Life (no idea on the last one).

Happy Friday!

[Jenni]

I met my husband through the online personal ads on AOL. I blogged about it here: http://blondechickbloggin.blogspot.com/2006/05/happy-anniversary-baby.html

and here: http://blondechickbloggin.blogspot.com/2008/03/my-wedding-day.html

Sounds like an interesting book!

[Nelle]

"Sex and Lucia," although not an overall romantic movie, has some of the hottest scenes ever. You won't even mind the subtitles.

"The Virgin Suicides" - I know, am I crazy, putting a movie with the word "suicide" in the title down? But the scene on the football field is beautiful.

"Match Point" -- in the field! and all the tension! and the rain!

"Little Children" -- you'll never look at your washer the same again

Bonus comedy selection: "The 40-Year-Old Virgin." Okay, not sexy, just hilarious.

[ragtopday]

The train scene in Risky Business comes to mind.

I'm currently using both eHarmony and Cupid -- I've had almost zero luck with eHarmnony and I just started seeing a guy I met thru Cupid, but we met at a Cupid sponsored speed dating event -- their online stuff is free for a month if you attend an event, but I'm not using it (other than for us to exchange contact information).

[Manda]

For a great (series) of books check out My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday (she also has a sequel)
Basically, she interviewed tons of people asking them what their sexual fantasies were/are and then wrote them out exactly how they were spoken. It's insane, slightly strange (people think weird things) and incredibly hot!

[Dorsey]

OK, I hope I'm not alone here, but could be. When I watch the movie "The Family Man" with Nicholas Cage I damn near ATTACK my husband before the credits finish rolling!! Just this whole movie makes me LOVE the fact that I have a good man in my life!! I can't say there's one scene in particular, but something about that movie is a SURE THING for the hubby to get some hot lovin'!

[Mejawat]

I second the Sleeping Beauty Series by Anne Rice. Super naughty.

[jocelyn]

Sleeping Beauty was the FIRST book that came to my mind. A VERY HOTT guy I met online (for free, in an AOL chatroom of all places!) gave me his set of these books. Steamy HOTness! I keep them on my nightstand and sometimes read them to my husband. Naughty! So so, naughty. And fun.

[Catherine]

You should watch Dangerous Beauty. It didn't get noticed a lot in the US, but it's fantastic.

[Jen]

I'm all blocked in the brain on the sexy stuff, so I can't help there.

As far as the dating sites, my husband's cousin who he's pretty close with has used Match.com & eHarmony. Her impression (and she's dead on according to some of her stories...maybe they belong up in the sexy category?)was that people are Match.com are generally looking for hookups where the people on eHarmony are looking for relationships.

Yahoo is even worse than Match.com. In my experience, it's even more about finding...ahem...random encounters than Craigslist. I actually found naked picutres of a co-worker on there one time. Her husband was trying to find some hot 3-way action and had slapped them up on Yahoo as bait.

[Amanda]

Desperado and From Dusk till Dawn. Yes, I have a thing for Salma Hayek- right up until she turns into the ugliest vampire on earth.

[Nellie]

Best books: Anne Rice wrote a trilogy under the name A.N. Roquelaure. It's a fantastic explicit sado-masochistic erotic twist on Sleeping Beauty. Three books are The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, Beauty's Punishment & Beauty's Release. Shocking, but worth the read.