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October 22, 2008

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It's going to be ending of mine day, except before finish I am reading this fantastic post to improve my know-how.

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Congratulations! I hear you mama, I mourned for the time with my first when I had my second. I cried for him and the end of his babiness. No end to the guilt.

I look at my 3yo and still can't believe how fast it's gone by but I still can't stop saying "you're my baby" to her. Sometimes she corrects me and says "girl" but most of the time she just hugs me harder. He loves being your baby.

Oh, how i can relate. To the adorable toddler. And the guilt. I could have written this a few months ago after our second daughter was born.

And by the adoring look on his face, I'm thinking he's o.k. with sharing baby status with his little sister. If WE can muster it, then I think the gift of siblings is one of the finest gifts we can give our children. Looks like they're already very close.

I loved this. My 2.5 year old is so grown up already, but when I have her sister in March, I know it's going to be hard for her.

I feel like I could have written this myself. My boy is totally getting the middle child shaft right now :( He is definitely more of a baby at this stage/age than his big sister was.

And you know? He gets to be your baby for as long as you say so. They all do.

That's so sweet. They'll always be our babies, no?

I feel like Drew.

I can't even get the new baby's name or gender right, as I'm so used to calling the now 2-yr-old "baby" or "baby girl."

My son's going to grow up thinking I want him to be gay.

What a touching post! I can really identify!
Whenever I feel really badly about not giving my children enough attention, my psychologist tells me "what you don't give them is your true gift" because they will know how to fend for themselves or find friends quickly, or be self-sufficient, or whatever else - sometimes it helps but I still feel guilty about it!
What a cute picture of your son!

I like the idea of making him your helper. It will make him feel special and take some of the pressure off of not spending time together:-)

You just broke my heart! I am expecting #2 in February and it shakes my soul to think how baby#2 will compromise baby #1. I worry about #1's whole personality because I love the way he is right at this exact moment in time and want him to always be the same. But know that adding #2 will certainly change how he thinks,feels,talks,listens... I try not to think of these things and hope I love the new #1 as well as #2. Your post today is exactly what I know will happen to my babies, and everything I fear.

He's so sweet!

I love him.

What a cute clever boy. There is eight years between my last two and the guilt is still there. Although he adores his baby sister, he likes to say that he and her are "the younger ones" even though the next one up from him is only 2yrs older, it sounds like I have a clatter of kids, I have four!!

Painfully sweet. Thank you.

i know this feeling. with a 20-month-old and a 2.5-month-old, the older of the two is still, truly, a baby. sigh..

As your only boy, he will be your baby until he is 6 years old at least. Little boys take a long time to outgrow their mommas.

waaaaah!

and on another note, here's an overdue congrats on the new girl bundle!
xo

I am a single mom and I too felt like I wasted so much of her baby/toddler years on "Me" and my needs. I left me ex when she was 15 months afte we were together for 14 years and I just didn't have enough for either of us. It was a huge struggle but she gets a lot more of me now, a lot more "happy me" and I"m glad it is still while she is young. Thanks for reminding me about how quickly they grow.

Wow, I could have written that myself hun, really I could!

I know those feelings of guilt...it will get better. I'm just now starting to read to my kids again after an eternity of a pregnancy and over a month of post-partum recovery.

Oh God. I am in the same boat - - my beloved little 2 year old scrambling on my lap for space next to his new sister... and I long for him, even though he's right here, I long for him. Every moment is fleeting and precious, isn't it?

Oh, I want to cry...That's so sweet.

This was one of the biggest issues for me when my youngest came around and my oldest was 16 months. He was 7 months when I found out I was pg and I felt I never had that time alone with him because I was either pg, very pg, nursing or dealing with a new baby. I used to long for the few mintues before bed where my husband had the baby and I could just be with him. We had a post up on this a while back over at Baby Bunching. http://www.babybunching.com/baby_bunching/2008/09/time-alone-with.html

Good luck and enjoy the time you do have with him.

oh i so know how that feels. My first born was only 13 months old when i had our 2nd child and it tore me up with guilt that the attention that a infant needs takes away from the attention i wanted to give to my first born. It is a hard balancing act that we have to pull off.

Listen, I know it's anal... but in my last post "you're" shoulda been "your."

Ok, so I'm crying.

I'm 17 weeks pregnant and the mother of a 1 1/2 year old.

You're story hit home and the hormones took over.

How old is your son??

Oh he's so sweet. Seems like he understands it in his head. He's your baby and so is she.

Aw, my heart is melting too.

So bittersweet... I don't know how you do it, a newborn would be hard enough! I hope you don't feel too much guilt because chances are, he won't remember the displacement feelings but will remember the time spent with you instead.

So touching. This is a great moment to capture. Reach for it when frustration begins to rear its ugly head.

You are an awesome momma.

I can't even imagine. I feel like I'm not enough for my one baby. Who will be 12 soon. x's and o's to you and yours.

While I have two and not three, and the age distance is greater than between your youngest, I feel the same way. I try to balance my time between the two, but I always feel like I'm shortchanging one of them (I don't have the forced link breastfeeding provides to ensure that one of them gets everything they need like you have).

I should NEVER read your blog at work, I look silly with red eyes! Mine are 4 years apart, but my 6 year old is still my baby, and they both always will be, I guess.

My older one still clamors for attention, trying to steal that extra time while I baby the baby. I don't watch t.v. alone anymore at night, that is my one on one time with him (I am so sick of Sponge Bob and Nickelodeon, thank goodness for Tivo) . . . I will get plenty of time to myself when they are grown up and gone away to school or off doing their own thing.

It can be difficult...you don't think you have enough time for both of them, you worry that maybe he feels neglected or jealous. My advice - make Drew 'mommy's little helper' and 'big brother' all in one shot. Try to involve him, whether it's fetching items or playing with baby or whatever.

Two babies.

Sob.

oh, that made me melt...

Adorable. How old is drew?

~two babies~
OMG that was so sweet I think my heart just broke a little.

Beautiful post today...

I'm right there with you. My two year old always asks me play when I get home from work. It used to be our time to play before daddy got home. Now she sits on the couch or quietly play with a toy and every few minutes asks "Mommy play?". Breaks my heart a little to say because I"m feeding the baby.

With two kids only I still share your pain. I hate splitting myself. Wish I could be two people sometimes.

Don't worry. He understands and will only remember that you were always there.

I know what you mean. I already feel like Shaggy doesn't get his due. Your boy will only remember your presence, not your absence.

Sniff. Wiping away tears. That was beautiful.

I don't remember how I found your blog, but I read every single day.. you can make me laugh out loud at the computer.. But today you brought me to tears.. I know exactly how you feel, my two are 19 months apart, and for so many years I felt so guilty for all the times he had to be pushed aside for her.. for how tired I was the whole time I was pregnant with her.. and on and on.. But it's okay, it really is. We have a great relationship now (they are both teenagers -- won't go there and scare you!!) and all of us are close. I can't even imagine with three kids.. you just don't have enough arms and lap to go around!! Sounds like you are doing great.. your babies are ALL beautiful!!

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