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October 20, 2008

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Wow, it sounds a bit hectic there! I hope things calm down for you a bit. :)

When my youngest was born, my oldest was 4. I had 3 kids in car seats. Life was crazy. All of my friends thought I would have it all figured out, because, after all, I was on number 3.

Now I have 3 older children and the oldest is about to be 16. And now I am also a single mom.

I still don't have it figured out. I do know this~ be honest, fair and loving. Ask too many questions. Listen very carefully. Tell them you love them often. Don't take any crap. Learn to appreciate the noise.

I thought three kids would drive me crazy, turns out 3 is a FABULOUS number. Enjoy it!

Three children is definitely a juggling act. My husband and I silently wonder when the kids will realize they outnumber us and take over our little kingdom.

My 3rd is 7 months. Thank God my other 2 are 7 and 9, old enough to feed, bathe, and dress themselves. But 3 was a whole new ball game, as they say. It makes the divide and conquer routine between me and hubby a bit more of a challenge. But you get a routine eventually. I promise.

aw sounds like you'll do just fine. even if it is a little chaotic :)

Just keep swimming, Momma - you're workin' the zone, now - I know that you'll be just fine!

I always thought Cesar Milan was on to something... I use his techniques for my toddler often. **CHTTT, point and dominating glare** Then my 8 yr. old started pointing out I was treating 'the baby' like the dog...Ha!
Hang in there, pretty soon you will be wishing for the days when you could put the baby down, and she'd stay put.

For you and your cranky crotch- May I suggest that instead of the water and 2 advil, an Irish coffee or Hot Chocolate or hell- straight up with a puff of whipped cream on top. Does it for me. A little Bailey's goes a long way.

By the third child, it's true that you have the parenting gig down. You know, the part about parenting THE BABY. Parenting the toddlers are an entirely different painful existence. My two older ones are the same ages as yours and trust me, I'm in the throes of it right now. What I wouldn't give for a few moments of silence these days. Naptime is practically orgasmic, esp when all THREE are down.

You left out the alcohol.

"There will come a time when our house will be quiet, and I'll be sitting by the phone and checking my email with a fifth of Jack in one hand..."

I don't know how you do it. I def. feel for you and send you my thoughts and non-religious prayers. But having 3 kids in the long run will be a joy, a blessing and maybe the best part of life. Hang in there. You've got my vote of admiration.

Hang in there! It will get better soon (but not soon enough right?) - I thought going from two to three was really tough -- I had expected number 6 to be easy because how much more work can one make, but it was a tough adjustment -- I guess it's always an adjustment when there is a new baby, but the booze always seemed to help me ....

I swear to you that it not only gets better, it gets easier too. Faster than you'd expect.

Hang in there. Remember, you've just switched from a Man-to-Man defense to a Zone defense. It takes practice.

Preschool is a good idea, methinks. A lady at work said she put it like "WOW! Look you get to go to SCHOOL and this poor little baby has to stay home because he is so tiny" to her then four year old daughter and two year old son.

At any rate, she said it was awesome. The older kids got to do something fun for a few hours and she got a break.

Just a thought. Sell the man couch if you need some flow to pay for it. HA HA.

Awesome reminder, tired and ragged, crying out for rest...it will be gone all too soon. You'll be looking under the couch and the back of the closet, wondering where the babies went. I sure hope you get some sleep and some quiet, but I also hope each day brings special blessings on you.

Trust me it does get easier but the advil seems to work less and less. Yesterday Baby Boy finaly started walking and although I have been waiting for this moment as proof that he doesn't have Orthopedic problems like everyone thought - it rang a thought to my mind - ANOTHER ONE TO CHASE AFTER!!! - and #6 will be here soon so yeah, I know where you are at and will be there soon again.

My postpartum wine substitute was a homemade chamomile tea misto - heat up some milk, steep a chamomile tea bag in it, honey and vanilla the hell out of it. If you have whipped cream, put some whipped cream on top, just like they do at St*rb*cks.

Going from one to two was a change, but not that big of a deal - but holy crap when #3 came along there were times I'd have gladly given away the older 2 and just started all over! Whoever tells you that after 2 its no big deal to add another one is is a freaking liar!

The third one just tips the scale to them. I'm not saying it's harder or easier (because it depends on the moment in which you ask me), just we're more out numbered now. Alex is an easier baby then either of the girls were, but he's still a needy newborny who has decided that he is on Paris time.

I know my girls are a bit older than your older kids though. Hugs to you, my friend. I'd send you wine if I thought it would help. Or a toddler leash....kidding, kidding. I just joking.

It's great to get things in perspective, but still, make sure you hit the links yourself, whatever that means to you (bookstore/shoe shopping/a spa/etc.), before they drive you to try to make the kids leave you in your empty nest a couple decades early.

I'm guessing you somehow managed to steal some kind of a nap before writing up this post, because it sounds way nicer than mine would in those days, and I didn't even have to give birth.

Three is a little harder only because the parents are now outnumbered by the children. Mom is watching one, Dad is watching the other and then that is that third element, buzzing around unnoticed and causing its own kind of chaos. It's especially tedious when you try to leave the house as a family and keep track of everyone. My three are all 10 and up now, but that doesn't stop me from doing a headcount every few minutes when we're away from home...nasty habit.

I can't even imagine!! I have trouble keeping up with the one that I have at home, let alone 3!! Yikes. I do like your attitude though. Keep your chin up but your head down (for flying projectiles:-).

Personally, I try to hark back to my days working retail and apply my best "infuriatingly cheerful and yet totally unhelpful" customer service voice on. The more enraged the kids get, the more calm and placid my voice. It enrages the crap out of them (because they aren't getting anywhere with the tantrum - no lollipops, bubblegum, or whatever it is), and makes me giggle inside. *and* has the extra bonus of getting me compliments on how "patient" I am.

I *knew* all those crappy jobs would be good for something someday.

You are making me nervous! I am expecting #2 in February and am so nervous about it already! We are not even going for #3... Even the thought of it scares the crap out of me! Good luck and try to enjoy it!

Oh, Yeah, definately harder. We are working towards 6 months with the third now. You should see me in the morning trying to get the 6 and 8 yr old up and ready for the school bus by 7 a.m. Mind you this is made all the more fun with only a few interupted hours of sleep, the baby wanting to be fed, changed ect., breakfast for the other two and...and...fixing my daughters hair. I normally do a great impression of Patton that early in the morning right along with the marching/sprinting to the bus stop with one hand on the stroller and the other white knuckled on my coffee cup.

Three has been easier for me to adjust to so far. I think it's because my other 2 children are older (6 and 4).

Going from two to three was a huge adjustment for us. People will tell you it's completely different than two, and man, they're not lying.

BUT, I have survived. Somehow.

Maybe send your daughter 5 days a week to preschool and your son a few days too?
Might help keep them busy and active.

I love that you are using Ceasar's techniques on the toddler! I'm going to have to do the same. Great thinking! ;-)

It can't be easy to be outnumbered. I wish you and the huz much luck!

Oh yes. I think all I can do right now is just nod and agree. Not enough energy to do much else.

Steph

the third was such a hard adjustment for us...hard and fast. #4 eh, just noise and #5 after 7 weeks is blending in nicely. I remember ppl telling me that going from 2 to 3 was easy...bastards, I believed them! It was hard, hang i there and congrats.

Hey there, Rockstar, you ARE new parents. Adding a third (or second, or fourth or fifteenth) adds a whole brand spanking new dynamic. You'll get into your rhythm soon :-)

Damn it. I was told that it's easier to go from 2 kids to 3 kids than it is to go from 1-2.. The logic being that the older two kids can entertain each other while you're busy wrestling your boob into the mouth of the newborn... is this not true? Have I been lied to??!?

If you can finagle 2hrs of outside time? They might think they're having fun; mommy just wants them to nap!

I feel all smug sitting here because that was so me last fall. Now 2/3 of the kids are pt'd and life is so much easier---though shrieking over toys just multiplies.

I wish my husband golfed! I've so wanted to send him somewhere some weekends!

I'm so sorry for giggling! You just have to laugh, right? It's so ridiculous what is asked of us as moms - you just have to be able to laugh at the absurdity of it all. As always, thanks for the candor.

I had my 4th baby 5 weeks ago today and just about peed myself laughing about using the Dog Whisperer's techniques on the older kids. THEY WORK.

And also- even with my 4th, and at 5 weeks, I still feel like floundering almost as if it's my 1st. The first 6 weeks are always the hardest, aren't they...

I should mention my third was a dream baby until about 6 mos old, and NOW she's a terror.

I had a slightly easier time adjusting to three, but I remember the sheer number of kids kicked my ass. My mom asked me how it was going when I our third was about 4 months old and I said, "Fine, but there are just so MANY of them!" Time yourself getting everyone buckled in the car. You will either laugh or cry, but both are cathartic.

I so feel you right now! When my daughter was born my boys were 2 & 3 years old. Every morning I would hear my 2 year old climb out of his crib and then the padding of footie pajamas in the hallway...I'd be laying in bed with the baby and the boys would climb up and lay with us - and everytime it would last only 5 minutes because the baby would start screaming to be fed. Now when said baby who is now 5 1/2 wants to sleep with me I don't object. Same for when my 9 year old wants to crawl in bed with me, I just suck it all up and savor it. I read a quote long ago that speaks so true - "When you're a mother the days are long, but the years are short." So true.

I totally get this post. I have 2 boys at 13 months apart and although i wish sometimes for the day they leave for college i dread it also.

That's awesome. DH and I say something similar all of the time. That we're in a holding pattern until the skies clear. Or when the kids are a little older, a little more self sufficient. We'll miss this, but it might be nice to land, too.

See, now here I am in the early days of two feeling like I'm useless for not finding it easier. ;)

Seriously though, I totally hear ya. It is an adjustment, for sure. I'm back at work today after nearly three weeks at home, and all I can think about are my kids and my wife and how she is getting along without me.

I agree with Lynna.
Glad to hear everything is going "normally"...crazy, wild and tiring as it is! :)

As the mother of teenagers, my house is noisier and more chaotic by far now than it was when they were little. Yesterday, for example, my son was screaming at some indignity and I was sitting at my desk with my hands over my ears, eyes closed, chanting "shut up" to myself.

Yeah.

And it's better to be called a bad mommy than some of the stuff that comes out of my kid's mouths.

I've heard life with 3 is a whole new ball game. My friend had her 3rd a month before I had my 2nd, and she was doing good to get everyone dressed and teeth brushed it seemed. Although I've heard after 3, it just doesn't matter anymore. Hang in there. And no, the Advil with a glass of water after the kids are in bed isn't as exciting, but your head feels a lot better. Mine can attest to that.

For the toddler, you could try one of those little trampolines with the bar he can hold onto while he jumps. I have a distinct feeling Santa is bringing one to our house this year. I need something to tire my kids out once we get snow and they're too cold to play outside anymore.

Your last two paragraphs are exactly what I keep reminding parents of wee ones. Life after the fledglings leave the nest is wonderful, but there are so many moments spent remembering those distant days of babyhood. Hang in there!

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