It's Hard Out There for a Nipple

My boobs have seen the mouth of a wee babe (and chatty toddler) for the likes of a combined three years, and yet, when I place another baby upon my nipple it acts as though I'm pitching her a new fashion line by Lauren Conrad.

"Ack no! What the fuck are you thinking, you crazy bitch?"

I suppose the slight tongue tie situation might have something to do with the c-clamp latch that literally gives me the nether shivers (ever had those before?), but truly, why do nipples have no memory?

I realize that nipples are not muscles and cannot be held to the high standards of the inner thigh or brain, but considering they can tell weather pretty darn well, and indicate low and high levels of nervousness and fear, there should be no reason that they cannot remember the whole breastfeeding thing.

In a way, a nipple is destined to feed a baby. Don't get me wrong. I was perfectly happy with my ho-bag nipples (whose sole life purpose was to get me off -- remember that?), but now that they have tasted the "honest working life" for a few years now, I'm just not getting why they do not desire to fulfill their destiny in a calm and painless manner.

What can I say? I guess my nipples are just a couple of common whores doing a few months of community service.

Comments

[cecilia]

My youngest of 6 children is now 11 and I think I may be getting some feeling back in my nipples. Maybe I'm just hallucinating, or watching to many programs on HBO.

[Erika]

One of the best descriptions of nipple pain I have read!!
So sorry girlie!
So glad I am done with that!!!!My three are all past that stage.
Hang in there!!!
Erika

[Multi-Tasking Mommy]

Oh man! I feel your pain. My son is 19 days old and although the pain has gotten slightly better, it's still not perfect. One nurse in the hospital said he had a slight tongue tie, but the doctors said it wasn't severe enough to fix. My son's latch is good now, I think! No more "pinched nipple look" when he comes off, but it does take time to heal! My saving grace were nipple shields in the beginning and Jack Newmans all purpose nipple cream!!!
You are right, why can't nipples just remember?

[Lisa]

I have always said, if I'm bad here on earth, nipple pain will be my hell. Give me the pain of child birth over that pain any day.

[Jess]

This is the funniest post on breastfeeding I have ever read. Wow.

You rock.

[Kristy]

I am laughing my A** off right now...that was great!

[Mom101]

Am laughing. Fabulous.

Although? Not envying the nips. Sorry.

[Fairly Odd Mother]

Now that I've had no children attached to my boobs for, oh, 1 1/2 years, I can't even imagine trying to do that again. Yeah, that feeling is not a good one.

[Her Bad Mother]

BEEN. THERE.

(I actually shut my eyes reading this post. Post traumatic boob stress disorder.)

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Kristi -

For some people it does. And others, it does not.

I wrote about a solution to dead nipples over at Mominatrix...

[Heidi]

Yeouch! My 2nd is very slightly tongue-tied and we didn't clip it (yet). She had a latch like a vice grip. I was using a nipple shield and STILL howling in pain. It got so bad, at one point I look down and she's spitting up blood. Not blood-tinged milk, just blood. My blood. From my nipples. She's my own personal miniature vampire.

Man, those early days really suck. Hope your ho-bags toughen up soon!

[Kristi]

So does this mean your nipples do go back to normal? I'm currently breastfeeding my 6 mo old and let's just say the pleasure my husband used to give my ho-bag nipples doesn't quite work the same as before breastfeeding. So hopefully when I wean her off the sensitivity does come back?

[angie]

Ain't it the truth? And after a few months of relative comfort, here come the teeth. arrgh

[Jamie E]

omw, my daughter was tongue tied too! We tried for a month and finally had the frenulectomy, so much better now. Good luck.

[Wendy]

How are you putting the baby on? With my last baby, the lactation nurse told me instead of laying his head in my elbow and putting him on the breast, hold his head in the opposite hand and put him on. It worked like a charm because it put him at the center of the breast instead of slightly off centered. Good luck with it. It hurts. I know.

[LiteralDan]

Not surprisingly, I don't have much to add here, except to register my ignorant sympathy.

[Courtney]

I'm breastfeeding right now and the pain goes in phases. It'll be fine and pain-free for a week and then the next week I'm wincing every time she latches on. It's brutal!

[Courtney]

I'm breastfeeding right now and the pain goes in phases. It'll be fine and pain-free for a week and then the next week I'm wincing every time she latches on. It's brutal!

[Courtney]

I'm breastfeeding right now and the pain goes in phases. It'll be fine and pain-free for a week and then the next week I'm wincing every time she latches on. It's brutal!

[Queen Zucchini]

NOOOOOOOOO.....Say it isn't SOOOOOOO!

Somewhere in my incredibly simplistic and innocent brain I was sure I would NEVER have to go through that agonizing pain with future children. Please tell me you're lying. It can't possibly be true!

My (one and only so far) son had latch issues and reflux and when he finally got over those, he start chewing, digging and scraping with his teeth a few months later. While the majority of the past 18 months of breast feeding has brought happy memories of bonding and caring for my son, I would give my two front teeth to never experience that pain again. But alas, I too plan on having 3 kids and breastfeeding as long as they want. UGH. The horrors.

My advice - go stick your chest in the ice box.

[Jill in Atlanta]

I had the frenulum clip for my 2nd and thought that would solve all breastfeeding woes. Nope. The lactation nazis then explained that he'd been using an improper latch/ mouth action/whatever for the whole 9mo. of practice before he was born. Thus commenced occupational therapy for sucking. It didn't take (he sucked at it!) and they finally suggested I pull out the bottles and formula feed. Life got happier after that.

[Lisa]

I have bf'd three babies and still compare the first month of breastfeeding to sticking your hand in a blender. You try to stick the boob in their mouth while instinctively pulling away and flinching because you know it's gonna hurt. Good thing it gets better!

[Zip n Tizzy]

Hang in there! We feel for you.

[n.]

soothies are such a nice gift to give your nipples! also, give them a break and slap a nipple shield on every now and then during bf'ing. your nipples will thank you!

[sipalittletea]

I cried every time I fed her for the first 2 weeks... Everyone told me if I was doing it right it shouldn't hurt. But she was eating and the lactation consultant said she had a good latch... my sister just had her first and is having NO PROBLEMS... and had the nerve to tell me I must have done it wrong... well at least I'm not bleeding anymore.

[Suburban Turmoil]

Yep. Breastfeeding sucks. Heh.

[valeta]

Oiy. February is going to be hard for me.

[Sarah]

Oh gosh! Isn't that the worst? I think it was only 3 or 4 months between when I finished nursing my older son and when my younger son was born so I thought I would be good to go. No such luck. It was just like I had never done it before. And if I see another baby book or hear of another lactation consultant telling a new mother that it doesn't hurt, I am going to have to lose it.

[amy]

that was classic and hysterical. I just fell in love with you evenmore!
hugs

[Kelly]

For real! I had pain for the first four weeks. Nipples should have their own brains, or should at least be wired to tell the brain "No!" when it comes to pain and receptors and the like, when it comes to tiny baby mouths!

[SuZ]

Ha... ha ha ha.... Love it!

[Katie]

One of the other blogs I read had a post on this. Scroll down to March 26th. :)

http://suburbanturmoil.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html

[Motherhood Uncensored]

here's my post on drew's snip snip:

http://motherhooduncensored.typepad.com/motherhood_uncensored/2007/02/snip_snip_snip.html

[Vicki]

Oh the horror. I'm having flashbacks here. Try it with not one but two tounge-tied boys. Blood and pain galore. My nipples are still pissed at me. I'm expecting #3 in April and I'm not sure they're gonna be willing participants in the baby feeding process then either. How do you toughen those pansies up before the next one gets here anyways?

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Tongue tied is basically a tight frenulum -- that little thing under your tongue -- babies that are tongue tied can't stick their tongues out and it can affect latch etc. and speech later.

It's a simple quick procedure where they just clip it. Takes 2 secs and it's over.

Drew was severely tongue tied. Margot isn't as bad but it's worth getting it done now instead of waiting until they're 18 months. Eep.

[Robin @ Party of Five]

Ugh..Breastfeeding. If I didn't have a baby on my nips, I had a double action breast pump on them. Talk about feeling like a cow. Moooo..

Nuthin like a boob job, breastlift, and re-constructed nips to make a mama feel better. Now I have no sensation in my left nip. I only have one ho-nip that works now, which means the hubby works overtime on that one, which leads to it being sore..damn, just can't get away from the pain.

[Katie Ann]

What is being "tongue tied" for a baby and what the heck does one clip?!

[The New Girl]

Oh no you DIN'T bust out the Common Whore Line!

You are SHAMELESS.

Your nipples are Lazy Freeloaders. They are the Paris Hilton and Whats-her-nose Ritchie of nipples. Whatever her name is. You know what I'm saying.

[The Ish]

Memories of pumping bloody breast milk to avoid nursing send shivers up my spine...

My Nursing Nazi (lactation consultant) man-handled my ta-tas almost as much as my baby did. My (STBE) husband was never man enough to smack them around and rough house w/them, so they hadn't had any practice.

Now, after nursing for a year, I have no feeling in my nipples. They gave up on life. My national geographic titties lay lifeless on my chest like deflated pancakes on a cold plate. Every now and then, I fold my former 30 DDD's into a padded push up bra and parade them around like Depression era Radio City Music Hall Rockettes alum in a Macy's Thanksgiving day parade. It's sad. At 29 yrs old, I'll just let them enjoy their retirement.

'till next time...

[MommyNamedApril]

omg the first month of bf'ing SUCKS

[The Young Mother]

One Word. Soothies. Pop those bad boys in the freezer, apply to the girls (the ones on your chest..lol) it will feel a lot better. Also my lactation nurse suggested that when they were cracking(bleeding in my case ouch.), After feeding, squirt a bit of your milk out, and rub around you areola, let it dry before covering up. They heal a lot quicker, and its soothing. Good luck. Hope they feel better.

[Amy]

I ignored the tongue tie for about a week - until my nipples were beyond mangled and bloody. I would tear up every latch on. ENT snipped it in 10 seconds and after they healed things were good to go.

[Julianne]

I'm saving up these posts in my, "When you are filled with desperation and hopelessness and need a good laugh" file for five months from now when my nipples begin their postpartum journey.

Thank you!

[allie]

motrin and wine before each breastfeeding session.

[Summer]

Hell I don't even remember the pain from the first few weeks of breatsfeeding... I can't expect my nipples to right? I do remember telling people it's not that bad, but I also remember crying a few times... I pain though... nope. gone

[Jasi]

Ha! Mine worked 20 mo/ for my poor food allergy baby. Now they don't want another day for my 4 mo/ son. Geez, I hope I can make it a year. =(

[Anita the Ovolina]

Congrats on baby! She is beautiful!!! Hopefully the breastfeeding will get better soon - I was so disappointed with how much my nipples were hurting with baby n.6 (hello? Number 6 - you would think my nipples would have gotten the toughen up memo by then) and were bloody for the first two weeks.
Really the pain was atrocious no matter what cream, latch maneuver I tried....only two weeks though - two weeks of excruciating pain - hope it goes much quicker for you. :) Congrats again!!!!

[Barbara]

My husband and I were just talking about this last night recalling how I would flex my hand out every time our 3rd would latch on (so as to not crush her little baby head), and say "ABCDEFG" instead of saying what I said with my first "FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK" I call it nipple amnesia. Stupid nipples can't remember their job....

[starrlife]

Yeouch!PTSD.

[Kelly]

"Nether shivers"... been there... ick.

[Robin]

My sister's baby was tongue tied, a clip at the ped's office solved all nursing issues immediately.

[Aliceson]

I cringe when I think about those first few weeks of breastfeeding. For me breastfeeding was worse than labor due to my cannon-like abilities. Best of luck to you and your sore nipples!