My boobs have seen the mouth of a wee babe (and chatty toddler) for the likes of a combined three years, and yet, when I place another baby upon my nipple it acts as though I'm pitching her a new fashion line by Lauren Conrad.
"Ack no! What the fuck are you thinking, you crazy bitch?"
I suppose the slight tongue tie situation might have something to do with the c-clamp latch that literally gives me the nether shivers (ever had those before?), but truly, why do nipples have no memory?
I realize that nipples are not muscles and cannot be held to the high standards of the inner thigh or brain, but considering they can tell weather pretty darn well, and indicate low and high levels of nervousness and fear, there should be no reason that they cannot remember the whole breastfeeding thing.
In a way, a nipple is destined to feed a baby. Don't get me wrong. I was perfectly happy with my ho-bag nipples (whose sole life purpose was to get me off -- remember that?), but now that they have tasted the "honest working life" for a few years now, I'm just not getting why they do not desire to fulfill their destiny in a calm and painless manner.
What can I say? I guess my nipples are just a couple of common whores doing a few months of community service.