Consignment sales are like some underground cult around here. I'm certainly not averse to buying other people's used things, but not enough to buy a ticket just so I can peruse through a shitload of used sleepers and plastic toys before all the lowly people do, or worse standing in line to rush through the doors like crazed animals just to get last year's well worn Gymboree outfit for $5.
My philosophy with these sales is that it has to be a pretty damn good deal for me to fork over a few bucks for an outfit that's been washed, worn, and very likely peed or shit in. Call me picky, but when I can hop over to Old Navy and snag a brand new outfit for $7 on their sale rack, I'm not so motivated to buy one that's drenched in Dreft and is thinning in the butt.
And sure, these sales can be a great place to snag toys, but in all honesty, plastic toys are a dime a dozen, so I am not swayed by how nice of a ziploc you packaged your Fisher Price Little People. I'd just as soon hit a garage sale and get them all for 25 cents. Or free from my local Freecycle.
When it comes down to it, when you buy something new or hit the Freecycle list, you don't have to deal with crazed mothers nearly snatching clothes right out from under your nose, piling their strollers high with stuff that they haven't even actually looked to see how much it is and will probably not even buy at the end of the day, but insist on snagging just so someone else doesn't get it.
Since attending a few of these [
sporting events; wrestling matches] sales, I've come up with my own set of rules, that until now have remained unpublished, but are implemented without warning - with extra gusto thanks to my "just take the baby out now" status. Granted, I've seen some of the actual rules they post on their websites, like how the clothes have to be in excellent condition, but apparently that doesn't include how they smell, because if the outfit smells like my dead Aunt's smoky apartment or baby puke, I'm going to pass. Yes, "excellent" is indeed quite subjective.
And this whole "price your own" bullshit is ridiculous. If I can buy the outfit cheaper at a regular store (like say that used Ralph Lauren newborn dress you're trying to pawn off for $20 - c'mon), then you can forget it.
But what really kills me is when the moms become so ridiculously territorial about their potential purchases, like it's the freaking Hope Diamond and if any other hands go to touch it then all hell will break loose. Granted, I'm not going to mess with their castle of crap that's now denting their stroller and slowly inching towards their screaming kid's head, but just because I glance over at what they have doesn't mean I'm concocting a plan on how to swipe it. Paranoid, much?
Even better is when these moms tell your kids to keep their hands off because Lord knows a 4-year-old girl is most definitely going to walk right off and purchase that dirty plastic push toy you covet so desperately. Best not let another child taint it or covet it so desperately that she will throw a raging fit over not being able to have a toy that have clearly seen way better days.
"Don't touch that. Someone's already buying that, little girl," she said to Quinlan.
"I'm pretty sure she was just looking at it" I replied, looking over from my position in front of the loads of newborn girl clothes.
"This is the 'reserved' section" she said, like it was literally some freaking limited edition Coach bag that she had snagged and Quinlan had climbed behind some shiny glass counter.
"Well, I don't think you need to worry about her running off with it," I responded, beckoning Quinlan to come back my direction from the crazed plastic toy obsessed mother, or "anyone else for that matter," I said under my breath.
I mean, I'm all for finding a damn good deal, but if it means scolding an extremely cute four-year-old to get it, I'm just thinking you've got your priorities all wrong.