What's Worse Than Discovering Your Husband's *Selfish Load of Laundry in the Washer?

I'm thinking coming home to a selfish dinner.

Or maybe being not-invited to some selfish sex.

*My husband will argue that because ONE LONELY PAIR of Drew's shorts made it into the wash, that it was not, in fact, a selfish load. I have addressed this argument by painting Drew's toenails hot pink.

Comments

[downinthedumps]

my gooness thank you ladies for sharing your infos. i hadn't relized that marriage was such a trap, tragedy and an instant transformation to motherhood ... (of what one would think is a fully grown man)!

my husband is despicable, unsanitary, unfeeling, irresponsible, uncanny (with his rude petty "jokes" in front of my friends and family), lazy and opposes EVERYthing I ever do, try to do or want to do.

after doing Number 2 in the bathroom he comes out, leaving the "residue" in the toilet, not using the two brushes which are to the side the of the toilet. The seat also has residue on it, the bathroom smells like a slaughter house. And when i walk in and open the window for "some" fresh air, he walks right in behind me and closes the window. Over and over again this is his routine. when i ask why the closed window, he says, "Oh, I didn't realize!"

when he showers, for some reason, the bathroom rug is soaking wet like a flood occurred in there. He never picks it up off the ground to hang it out to dry or anything. He just gets half dressed (shoes, socks and work pants on) then returns to the bathroom to shave and trods upon the already wet rug with his outdoor shoes. which creates a dirty floor and a really nasty smell on the wet rug. Over and over I have shouted, talked calmly, taught him the routine step by step and still 5 years into the marriage, not one thing has changed.

Oh, there is so much more andthis web site is not enough to contain it. I am just as frustrated as can be!

[Fun Husband]

I do the selfish loads but did not knwo what to call it.

Better do a selfish load than none at all.

[bridge]

selfish laundry.
I've had that before, along with the selfish dinner.

[Karen (Submommy)]

See, I'd rather The Man leave the laundry to me. Here's why:

Mixed colors
Mixed types (undies in with regular clothes - *shudder*)
EVERYTHING - and I mean EVERYTHING - gets washed in WARM water.

I want him to just stay away from the washing machine.

[Melissa P.]

Typical male husband for you.
Selfish is right.

[Christina]

Mine just whines that I never do his laundry often enough. Of course, I didn't realize those clothes all over the floor needed washing, since they weren't in the laundry hamper.

I can't complain too much, though - he does the dishes.

[Amanda]

I just had an anneurysm for you!

[Bethiclaus]

Oh girl! The selfish load is my most hated thing my husband does. And he does it at least once a week.

[Danielle]

I don't mind doing his laundry (I do ALL the laundry normally) or if he were to ever do his own laundry, but it's the not FOLDING any clothes that bothers me. I HATE folding clothes!

[crazymommylady]

I think a selfish load is far worse than no load at all. To actually go through the trouble to do laundry, but only do your own?

Much like no dinner waiting for you at home is not as bad as your husband having dinner without you and not leaving dinner for you.

Or like the mere absence of sex on a particular night would be better than walking in on sex happening without you.

Am I right?

[Michelle]

My hubby doesn't do the laundry, but he does have the annoying habit of waiting until I have FINISHED it before going through his clothes and putting the dirty ones in the basket. Then wonders why he has no clean underwear!?

He does vacuum and do the dishes and cook occasionally though.

[Misti]

Oh bummer...I can't seem to think of anything worse than a husband not doing anyone else's laundry but his own...that's pretty bad...But now that he's made it obvious that he can do his own laundry, I'd leave it for him to do from now on. :)

[susieshomemade]

You mean, your husband knows how to use the washing machine??

[anna]

We just had this same argument a few days ago. He said, "I thought you wanted me to start doing my laundry."

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Jonniker -

Ha. Hahahahahaha.

Um. No.

Although, my husband is now claiming that he was forced to do the selfish load because I left out all his clothes on purpose.

The ones that were left in a heaping pile in the corner and nowhere near the LAUNDRY BASKET.

[jonniker]

Is it wrong that I'm thinking that I'd kill for a selfish load? At least it's ONE LESS LOAD that I would have to deal with? I mean, did he fold it and put it away?

[Amanda]

What about some creative uses for Nair while said Husband sleeps? I also think it would be funnier for the Husband to wake up with pink toenails. Mine doesn't do laundry at all claiming he'll "do it wrong." Is that more or less annoying than the selfish load?

[Wendy]

Thomas always just puts his clothes and Tessa's clothes in the wash. I thought it was just *me*! Thank you for posting this!

http://notesfromthesleepdeprived.blogspot.com

[the new girl]

Oh, I hate the selfish load.

And a selfish dinner? In the presence of you, my pregnant friend?

Not good. Not good at-tall.

[Katie]

Ooooooo... I HATE selfish loads of laundry when somebody picks through the laundry basket and does only HIS clothes... ooooo I am annoyed just thinking about it.

[Melissa]

Men. They have no clue.

[Destiny]

Oh I HATE it when my husband does that. It makes me never want to do another damn piece of his laundry again since obviously he is more than capable.... grrr!

[Karly]

You know, I like the hot pink toe nails on Drew, but maybe next time you should paint your hubby's toes pink? Just wait til he falls asleep and sneak in there and GET THE BASTARD. ;)

[Jen W]

LOL I love the retaliation of the pink toenails.

I tried to think of something else selfish that might be worse but...hmmm...uh...nope. You've touched on my top 3!

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Oh Alexandra. That's a good one.

[Lucrecia]

HAHA Selfish Sex - that made me laugh out loud. Which isnt' a bad thing - except I'm at work. In a cubicle. With my boss right behind me.

[Alexandra @ Mommy's Got Green]

I have totally threatened Jesse with painting Lucian's toenails. Sometimes I even threaten him with painting his own. Or posting up the black mail pictures of him trying on my formal dress collection from dances and banquets.....muahahahaha!

[Amelia Sprout]

I am home with sick kid. While home with sick kid, I do laundry, do dishes, and weed the yard that he HAD to have when we got a house, but now neglects.

Tomorrow, when he is home with sick kid, house will inevitably look worse than when he started and he will complain about how hard it is.

He needs purple fingernails too.

[Domestic Extraordinarie]

Hey I would LOVE if my hubby did selfish loads. But then I am sure I would be peeved that he didn't do more laundry. Oh well.

[Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas]

The hot pink toenails on the boy child - gotta remember that.

[Amy H]

he's a jackass.

[Lisa]

Here's one better, me thinks: How about a Husband who leaves work early and goes home (after you are already at work) and neglects to call you all day... and then when you get home and he's there, he "admits" he wanted some alone time...? Oh yeah, and he didn't do ANY laundry...and you're pretty sure he engaged in selfish sex while you were at work (based on the porn history in my Web Browser)... At LEAST have the decency to share THAT with me...ugh

[Kellie]

Ha. My husband thinks he's "helping me out" by sometimes doing his own (only his) laundry. Never mind that he doesn't put it away.

[Jill]

Um... an unemployed husband who talks a lot about doing laundry, but never actually does it and in fact watches as you fold three loads of laundry in front of him and even after asking you if you need any help still can't manage to peel his ass off the couch to grab the next load out of the dryer? After a night like that, he's the one uninvited to selfish sex!!

p.s. Did you see that Sweetney listed you as one of her ten favorite blogs? Yeay for you!!