Walk a Mile in My Shoes

Of all the things that have gone by the wayside since having kids, you know, like not leaving the house without at least mascara and lip gloss strategically applied, or hell, even brushing my hair, the one thing I have not lost is my taste in shoes.

You can take my skinny thighs and perfectly taut vagina, but don't you mess with my shoes!

Not only do I love shoes, but I generally have great taste in them. And while I'm not sporting the platforms, stilettos, or the Doc Marten's I bought at the factory in England, I can still pick them, even though these days they're a pair of ballet flats or a stylized sneaker.

So imagine my horror when I stood in front of the clearance shelves at Marshalls, holding a pair of $39 super comfy Cole Haan shoes, unsure as to whether they were funky cool or old lady chic.

I vascillated. I put them back. I picked them up. I almost did the thing that no decisive shoe lover with great taste should ever have to do.

Ask a fellow shopper.

*Gasp*

And then I figured, fuck it. I'm walking around in a Target skirt and Gap stretch tee both of which aren't maternity wear so when I'm not paying attention, the lower quarter of my belly hangs out.

Nice, right?

So, what the hell do I care if the shoes are for the over 50 set?

What do you think? I'm a big girl. I can take it.

Comments

[Replica jerseys]

weave a cool looking ribbon through some of that weave across the front of one and that will kill any lil bit of old lady that MIGHT be hiding in those shoes!

[Gucci Shoes]

I love blog, because any person can blog in their own feelings and to share things with. But i suppose the blog could only be improved if you posted more often.

[Al_Pal]

Agreed -- cool shoes! The silver rocks. Gold would indeed cross to the old lady realm. (unless properly accessorized, with visible tattoo, heh)

[Mel]

I (a mid-twenties mommy of one) would definitely wear them, with dark denim capris or a black skirt, ya know, A-line but hitting mid-calf. And a crisp tee. Oh yeah. That would be hot.

[Satsuki]

I don't exactly love them (since I hate white clothing) but I'd have to say it all depends on how you wear them. Even old grandma shoes can look good with the right outfit. I agree with you though, these shoes could go either way. Just so long as you don't dress like grandma you should be fine.

[Cinthia]

I could have sworn I just saw these shoes on Christina Applegate in Samantha Who?. She was wearing them in an episode where she and her mom sink the mom's car in a lake. They were the exact same color and style.

[Stimey]

Well, you didn't say they were silver. Silver shoes do not say old lady. They say rockin' mominatrix.

[jenB]

Love.

[Mrs Mogul]

Hi there! I just counted that you write on 4 different blogs so who cares about shoes if you're typing a lot! I hear you though, My shoes now consist of flat rocket sneakers. that's it! NO SEXY AT ALL!!!!

[Jen]

weave a cool looking ribbon through some of that weave across the front of one and that will kill any lil bit of old lady that MIGHT be hiding in those shoes!

[carosgram]

I am over 50 and those shoes are way too young for me, so I think you are ok.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Jasi -- I'm sporting the pregnancy "Don't fuck with me" glare.

I'll probably transition to scowl in a few weeks.

lol.

[Jasi]

They're cute. They're not my style though.

I'm of the grumpy, no-longer-in-my-20's, city-girl-stuck-in-the-suburbs, miserably-just-shy-of-5-feet-tall, unhappy-with-my-epis-repair, new-mummy-of-two-and-barely-coping set.

I wear platform, velcro, half rubber suede, navy blue, backless, ballet sneakers... and a scowl.

But the silver mesh flats are fine.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Yeah. It was the weave that worried me.

[Jamie E]

They are fine. No one should ever criticize a pregnant womans footwear. I have a major shoe fetish and told myself I would never (no offense people) ever wear flip flops.....After searching for fairly flat leather sandals that have a heel strap in size 11???? Yeah, I bought freaking flip flops. I've only been looking for two years. Even to church I go...in flip flops, thank God for summer pregnancy and the trash will be waiting for them when I get home. 5 more days!

[Amanda]

You know I think you are ravishing and the whole pregnant with your third while working is almost impossible to articulate as there aren't words potent enough to describe the guilt, fear, frustration and fleeting moments of damn-right-I'm-having-a-3rd-on-purpose moments, that said, I am not a fan of woven shoes.

Sounds like a country song in the making, "My $39 mistake." Am I a total bitch for writing that?

[Heather]

I think they are adorable!!!!

[Amy Jo]

totally cute.

[J from Ireland]

Well, with you cool tattoo any shoes will look good, but I personally am not too fond of them. Its the pattern that kills them for me. So sorry hon.

[Elizabeth]

There is no way that anything you wear would ever get you mistaken for an Atlantic City Grandma, I mean, have you SEEN you? AC Grandmas are not that tall and gorgeous, I'm pretty sure. Keep the shoes! :)

[TheFeministBreeder]

adorable. plain and simple.

[Sheri Weppel]

Gorgeous! Sorry to hear about your thighs and vagina.

[Amanda]

As someone who was advised by her doctor to go buy a pair of those god awful fugly ass Crocs, I don't feel like I can say a word. But, that's also never stopped me before. I think whether those shoes are old lady or just funky cool depends on the clothes paired with them. As long as you stay away from velour jogging suits, you should be good to go.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Gestating #4 -- then your mom is SUPER COOL. And extremely beautiful.

Haha at Mrs. Chicken's sister. We must talk about this Walmart thing immediately.

Grandma's at the Atlantic City slot Machine. That's basically my mother-in-law. ACK.

And Carolina Mom. I must pick a bone because cripey -- the things Southern gals like -- well, they sort of scare me, so it can't be that bad that you don't like them. HEH.

[Angel]

Nice post..! Well, I like your shoes.

[Lisa Collins]

hello...cole haan...39 bucks! They're cute just because of the price!

The silver rocks!

[Jen]

I love Marshalls! Any shoe from Marshalls is a good shoe! You rock. Love the silver.

[nikoline]

Lovely! On a side note - I know you don't me, however you and I were totally hanging out and having a long chat of some sort in a dream I had last week. That's the first time I've dreamt of a blogger ever! Wierd?

[Gail]

They're real cute. The silver makes makes them cool. My feet are too wide for Cole Haan. =(

[Anissa@Hope4Peyton]

I think they are cute as hell. Go with it!

[Regi]

I like them, and since motherhood also seems to mean having toenails and feet that must never be seen in public, I can appreciate a nice closed toe, full heel, shoe.

[Jupiter]

I would wear those shoes so they MUST be cool. Oh,wait...I'm wearing Crocs right now.
(In my defense, they aren't MY Crocs,they're my daughter's.... and I only just slipped them on because someone dumped sugar all over the floor and I didn't want to walk through it barefoot. Swear it.)

[Alexandra @ Mommy's Got Green]

There is such a "fuck it" vibe from them. I love it! And to those asking about being able to contort your pregnant body in such a way as to actually shave your legs....it can be done! I even shaved my vah-jay-jay whilst preggo too. In fact I shaved it while having contractions during the shower before we went to the hospital. I am super girl!!! LOL!

[Gunfighter]

Not qualified to judge the shoes, Kristen, but the tat certainly doesn't hurt.

GF

[gestating number four]

My mom actually owns those. Sorry. Love your blog.

[The Old Ass Lady]

GIMME MY SHOES BACK, WHIPPERSNAPPER!

[Mommy-of-Three]

I think they're old lady in a "Grandma's-in-Atlantic-City-at-the-slot-machine" sort-of way. I think they'll do as long as you don't pair them with a fanny pack and some polyester pants!! Thanks for the giggle! Love your blog!

[Mrs. Chicken's Sister]

Just so you know, Mrs. Chicken wears Croc flip-flops. She may not be qualified to comment. I wear shoes from Walmart, so I am definitely not qualified,

[midlife mommy]

I think they're pretty!

[Stephanie]

Nothing Old lady Like at all. Like Dorothy meets the baby wedge, but I really dig them. A Lot. In fact I am hating you at the moment because I know I cannot go buy an adorable pair of shoes in the near 10 years or so. And I second the comment about leg shaving: What Yoga/Kama Sutra moves did you enact to pull off that little trick?

[Domestic Extraordinarie]

very cool. I bet they are super comfy as I tried on a pair of Cole Haan's at Marshall's one time but couldn't stomach the huge price tag. (Which was more than $100) If you tire of them you could always send them my way since we have the same size feet...LOL!

[rachel]

Those are way too cute to be old ladyish but it's the tat that really screams 'cool'.
Lovin' them.
Great choice.

[Meg]

Your tattoo makes the look :)

[Robin @ Party of Five]

Your tat helps to pull them off...Just make sure you're wearing a funky pair of maternity jeans or something!

[Katie]

Hmm.. they are more Blanche than Rose if that helps.

[mrs. chicken]

And you said Crocs are bad???

Just kidding - they have a certain charm. :)

[Courtney / courtneycourtney]

Oh man, I have 3 pairs of cole haan g series slip-on flats. One pair is metallic green with a kitten heel. :D They are so comfy and my feet don't sweat.

[Mom101]

Well considering I am wearing Cole Haans today maybe I'm not the most objective person.

I'm with Naomi - a tattoo pretty much completes the look.

[Krystal]

okay - I officially suck today! I cannot spell if my life depended on it!

[Krystal]

Love em!!!

I did the whole flip-flop thing when I ws pregnant with Baby Boy and now am doing the Chamption slides thing with Little Dancer - and I too am guilty of the stretch tee with the skirt and a visible belly when I am not paying attention so you flaunt it!!

Now, if I could only see my feet then maybe I could tell if they looked alright.

(I am dying for the day when I can wear my thin heel blue suede ankle boots again!!!)

[ScientistMother]

Oh they are totally classy. I LOVE shoes! I have so many pairs and styles. There is no way I would wear old lady shoes. I no longer wear uncomfortable shoes, but I will not wear non-funky shoes. I would wear those. Cole Haan Rocks b/c they can make stylish comfy shoes.

[Sam]

Cole Haan while pregnant must be heaven. I love that brand. SO COMFY.

[Monica]

Hey, if I could wear any shoes when I was pregnant I would have bought them. I was wearing flip flops in December. Damn you and your normal sized feet.

PS And I think the shoes are perfectly cute!

[Mrs. Bubba]

Cute... I like them. I always go for comfort AND looks. I don't always subscribe to the Pain is Beauty philosophy. I would have bought them too.

[Angie in Texas]

toe cleavage makes them sexy.

[Jill]

Man that's a tough one! Having sold old lady shoes back in the day, I thought I'd always be able to spot a pair a mile away, but you've stumped me. I don't think I would have risked it, but you work it girl!

[Jenni]

I'm sorry, you're how pregnant and still able to shave your legs?

I think the waffle pattern and heel make them kind of old lady, but in a cool way.

[CarolinaMama]

Honestly, I thought you were joking. It is really hard to disagree when you like reading someones blog - you know being a Southerner born and breed. Sorry. They do nothing for me.

However, all of your other readers agree with you so - who am I? :)

I've always been a fashionista so this whole things puzzles me - what am I missing - oh yea, "Just" raising Twins. ;)

[Issa]

Not my kinda shoes, but they are cute.

[Michelle]

Those are actually quite cute, and I've seen teenagers wearing similar.

Wait - I don't know whether that helps or not.

[Becki]

I agree with VDog--the silver takes them out of the realm of old ladyhood and makes them adorable.

[McMama]

I had this same dilemma over a pair of Target ballet flats. Yours score the cute vote from me, for what it's worth after that first statement.

[anna]

Another vote for cute.

[Wendy]

Love them. I'd even love them on Estelle Getty! But, you'll do. :-)

[VDog]

I think the color saves them from old ladyness. And I second Anyabeth's comment. LOL

Plus, ya know, you got the tat to keep things real. heh

[Naomi]

Your tattoo kind of kills the old lady vibe, but you could totally get a pair of suntan knee-highs to wear with some pale blue doubleknit culottes if you wanted to go matronly. I would have grabbed that deal in a second, those g series soles rock. (If they're a size 8, I could take 'em off your hands if you decide you hate them.)

When I lived in Olympia it was hard to tell if someone was mentally challenged or an indie rocker. The bowl haircuts, too-small clothes, kiddie accessories, etc.

[mamagingertree]

I like them. I second Anybeth... if you wear them with the right outfit they can work.

[Amy @Taste Like Crazy]

I like 'em.

Now, if they were bright yellow gold then I'd think old lady.

[Anyabeth]

Oh I think they are cute and not old lady at all. As long as you don't pair them with the polyester pants and floral blouses of my grandma I think you are good.