I've heard women talk about some pretty strange pregnancy symptoms. And while I can't say I've ever craved cigarette ashes or hair, I've sucked down my fair share of Taco Bell hot sauce packets.
But with all the odd pregnancy complaints, I've never heard any woman admit to having the rough, scratchy 85-year-old man elbow symptom. I suppose it's not that surprising since it seems like most pregnancy symptoms can be seen on most men over 70 -- weird hair growth, oddly placed skin tags, and the growing belly that requires suspenders.
Of course, the whole situation was made worse by the fact that I discovered the damn elbow when it snagged one of my favorite maternity shirts.
That's right. It's not enough that I now have to shop from the forbidden "Size 11" shoe rack that they keep way in the back of store away from the other pretty nice tiny shoes.
My nasty dry elbow snagged my shirt.
I'm a bit embarrassed that I haven't noticed sooner, in fact, I instantly thought of all the rubbing elbows I did at BlogHer and imagined that's why so many bloggers said they saw me but emailed later to tell me that they didn't get a chance to say "hi." They masked their disgust with my elbow as "intimidation."
But since it was a summery 45 degrees in San Francisco, my elbows were actually covered the whole entire time (Thank God) by a sweater.
What's even worse about this whole elbow debacle is that I slather my body in tubes of overpriced "this better fucking work" big pregnant woman lotion every night, and yet, I still have the mysterious moisture repelling left elbow.
I've tried Vaseline, Aquaphor, hell, even Neosporin, and I'm about to just cover it with a bandaid so I at least don't obsess about it all day long and my husband won't complain about it waking him up at night.
Of course, there's always KY Jelly or Astroglide. I figure if it works on those chapped lips, then it might just work on my freaky elbow.