Hello Desperation. May We Never Meet.

At the tail end of my long drive home from ballet yesterday, I sat at a red light staring out my window at a woman holding a sign. It's not an uncommon sight here in Atlanta, even in the pretty far out suburbs where I live. What was different about her however was that along with her sign, and her flyers, she pushed a little girl in a wheelchair with her.

From what I could read from her sign, her daughter had a life threatening illness and she was raising money for treatment.

She rolled her up and down the median strip, collecting money and handing out flyers like she was at the finest charity fundraiser. Her head held high, her daughter kicking and smiling in her chair, though obviously impaired.

It instantly brought me to tears, this mother doing what I would consider a fairly desperate act to save her daughter. There's always a brief, fleeting thought of skepticism that runs through my mind -- if she's really sick, or what circumstances brought her to that place that might have been in her control or if there isn't a better way (I tend to loathe the folks who do fundraising at stoplights mainly because it's usually kids and I think it's terribly dangerous). 

But mostly, I think about how I hope to never be at that place.

I didn't have any money to give her, so instead I'm going to send some to my friend whose nephew is suffering, and bid on some items at this silent auction.

It's the only thing that I can think to do to soothe her pain, their pain, and the pain of others close to me.

Because regardless of how different we all are as people, the common bond of motherhood makes any mother's desperation just as much ours.

Comments

[susieshomemade]

Stuff like that breaks my heart. I wish I could help everyone in the world who is that desperate because that is truly a mother's worst nightmare. But, alas, I cannot and so, I proudly give to Autism Research. My nephew is non-verbal autistic and he is the corner of the world that I can help change. And so, I do.

[Marygrace Semenoff]

Whether the panhandlers are real or not is a moot point. The REAL point is that there are many, many folks in your country who either are unable to afford health care (and going without) or going bankrupt because of very expensive coverage. I am simply amazed that you say we Canadians, (Brits, etc.) have 'socialized' medicine and y'all run into fraidy-cat hiding at the very thought of the WORD 'socialism'...and yet you are the most affluent nation in the world and allow the most vulnerable of your citizens to suffer - for fear of a 'WORD'. Nothing could be further from the truth (we have a Conservative Government fortheloveofgawd)! What we DO have is 'universal health care' which, while not perfect, entitles EVERYONE to proper, 'free' accessible care. Off my soapbox now...I simply can't help myself from telling you how amazed I am that you folks are putting up with not having the basic right to decent health care when you are one of the leading countries of the world. Sorry to carp (that's the Canadian in me - to apologize!) but it needed to be said. Sorry again...oops!

[Wendy]

I have goosebumps.

[Krystal]

My comment became too long so I decided to write a post about it instead. Here's the link:

http://mommysescape.blogspot.com/2008/08/can-skeptics-be-swayed-to-change-their.html

[Claudious]

The hardest thing about seeing others in desperate straights is to think that it's not that far a step until that is me.

[bridge]

Whatever her circumstances, is this not desperation? Setting aside all our judgment, is this not the worst situation you can imagine yourself in?

[Lawyer Mom Leigh]

I'm with the skeptics, totally. This is sounds like really despicable child exploitation. I have a few tender bones, really I do. But not on this one. No loving parent would parade their disabled child around a public intersection, subjecting him to gawking and utter humiliation, for some effing cash.

[Steph]

Awww, you shoulda grabbed a flier to scan in and post here. Maybe she'll be out again another day. Bless her heart

[Mom101]

Making me cry at work. Jesus.

[jen]

ah. it's shattering. all of it.

[Her Bad Mother]

*HEART BURSTING OUT OF CHEST*

[Shannon]

Is there seriously no place that would save the life of a child despite the mother's ability to pay?? I can't believe/accept that...

[caramama]

Just yesterday, I said to my husband "I wish we could donate money to every charity involving children." There is something about becoming a mother that makes you think of the children more than anyone else. I wish I were rich. Bill Gates rich. I would do a Gates Foundation, too.

As it is, we donate what we can to a few different charities a year. I just wish it could be more.

[Scouts Honor]

I have lived in many areas with panhandlers and people at those stops. 98 percent of the time, it is such a scam.

The Vietnam vet that gets out of his wheelchair after a long, lucrative day. The young, dirty teens that coincidentenally show up exactly when the high school gets out. The forlorn mother on a highway exit who get picked up every two hours in a brand spanking new mini-van and rotated to a corner a couple of miles down.

I guess I am just too jaded. They did a poll in Berkeley where I went to school and which had a huge, aggressive panhandling problem. Guess what? Most panhandlers chose to beg. Why? They made upwards of $50,000 yearly and that was in 1995!! So I never give money. I only give to charities I am directly involved in.

One last story, I used to watch church groups hand out bag lunches to the supposedly homeless. As soon as they left, with a look of disdain, I saw more than one of those lunches thrown in the garbage. If they truly are down and out, they want money to help what got them there: alcohol and drugs.

A cynic here.

I feel terrible though that children and dogs deliberatley starved are being used as props.

[Backpacking Dad]

I never give money to panhandlers or busking pre-teens singing Hey Jude with their fathers.

[mothergoosemouse]

Been thinking about the same things lately myself. Good to keep life in perspective.

[Vanessa]

I am at a loss for words when I read things like that. May God be with that poor women. This just smacks you back into reality.

[CarolynOnline]

Pushing the wheelchair... at the stoplight? Words fail me.

[Amanda]

{sigh}

Thank you for pointing out that we have it good, really good. I need to check myself when I start to get down. There are others who don't just feel down, they feel desperate!