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July 10, 2008


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Honey, I still tinkle on myself and it's been a year and a half since I had Aidan.

Eff those who get into their size 4s right after birth.

Here's a little known secret...at Camp Baby, HBM and Tracey made me laugh so hard at the table I peed my pants. Luckily, I had a long shirt on, but still. You're not alone.

I just love to read your blog!

You are my hero!

When I was pregnant with our third (and *last* thank God!) I couldn't empty my bladder. So I would pee for like 2 seconds and then nothing. It started as soon as I got pregnant, too, so I went through 40 weeks of always needing to pee. I think that was why I was so exhausted. The most exciting thing for me about finally having Tripp was just peeing for like an hour.

And of course, since my bladder was always full, a cough or sneeze or giggle made me pee. I had to wear panty liners just to leave the house. Good luck with it.


We all start pregnancy with high hopes, don't we?

With my last one, I gained 60 pounds and it took me just under 3 years to lose it all.

This time around, I'm 28 weeks tomorrow and I've already gained 30+ pounds. I thought I was eating better this time, I swear....what has happened? ARGH!!!

I hear ya!

My boob size is 38-Long.

I had to do lots of the pelvic exercises after Luke so I would stop peeing when I sneezed or coughed heavily. Motherhood is hard in more ways then one.

Great, I'm laughing so hard I just speezed!


"I pee when I sneeze, laugh too hard, and sometimes orgasm."

If it was a package deal I could live with the former in return for the latter...of course I would probably stay home watching funny things ALL THE TIME.

Pee-Sneezer? Check
Nose-Picker? Check, check, and check
Pre-schooler who refuses to potty train but does remove his shitty diaper then attempt to rub his ass on the dog? You know it: check-a-roonie!

Eh, I'm not even pregnant and I just peed the bed last week. Yeah. You're jealous.

Oh yeah, I can beat that. When 16 weeks pregnant with #3, my bladder decided it didn't like being stuck way up in my body and decided to come out and see the light of day. Bladder control? Yeah, those words have a totally different meaning for me.

T is becoming a champion picker...and eater. Hold your jealousy.

Since my second child my bladder is just one more thing that doesn't listen to me! These remedies people are giving you will never work you can Kegal till the cows come home (a popular phrase) Try this: Take everything too seriously to stop from laughing, only jump if suddenly placed on a bed of hot coals, and read my humor blog on the toilet. http://www.suburbanjungle.wordpress.com

I love your voice and I have a feeling you'll enjoy mine. That maybe the most sexually charged thing I've said all year... don't tell my husband.

Thanks for the laughs,


I'm only 6 weeks along, but it seems like I've been speezing forever! Probably due to the surgeries for endometriosis, or maybe the endo itself.

Also, am I the only one who calls that little pee that sneaks out when sneezing (or laughing, or choking, or vomiting...) a speeze? Just wondering.

There is a reason the top drawer of my bathroom vanity contains packages of clean underpants.

And nose-picking is absolutely bragworthy in a child. One of my kids NEVER pickes her nose, and teh result is that sometimes (shudder) I have to do it for her. Just to clear the way, so to speak.

Oh how I love thee... went out shopping last week by myself, because unlike the celebrimommies you mention in the post, no way this body is getting in pre prego jeans any time soon (my kids are 6 and 3)... anyway, finally getting a day to myself and enjoying the ride down the interstate listening to my own music and out of the f-ing blue I sneeze and wouldn't you know... freakin' pissed myself and farted all at the same time! Gotta love the triple whammy!

I can beat that. You haven't lived until you've got your head stuck in the toilet for the millionth time, praying you don't pass out - again, and you puke so hard you not only pee, but you shit your pants too. I'd like to slap whoever said pregnancy is beautiful.

When I was preg with my first son and had the "breathing too hard and peeing myself" problem I asked my mom about it. She had NO IDEA what I was talking about. Although my mom probably gained 8 pounds when she was preg. So I was so embarressed. Then My SIL said it happened to her all the time. I felt so much better. And now that I have 3 little ones ages 4 and under I feel better again that I am not the only one out here! Feeling better because others are peeing themselves too? Is this what its come to! ;)

I do recall the kegels help a lot.

Here I was hoping this would go away with time and dutiful kegels... my daughter is 7 months old. I pee when I sneeze, laugh too hard, and sometimes orgasm.
But the WORST is aerobics class. The first time I had to cut my workout short because the high-impact bouncing was too much ON MY BLADDER...
I tell you what, I am ALL glamour over here!

Sigh, yes it's true. I think many are in the same boat. Numerous items I took for granted or enjoyed doing with ease priior to pregnancy are now cause for a pants change- sneezing, coughing, laughing hard, jumping jacks, jumping on a trampoline... the list goes on and on.

Dude, after 4 kids I have to cross my legs EVERY TIME that I sneeze or I;ll be changing my britches! And when I laugh or cough very hard, or...well you get my point. I tried those Kegels, and for me, a total waste of time!

After I had my first child (and changed the bottom half of my outfit more times than I can freaking count), I came up with this little ditty...

Before you sneeze, you gotta squeeze.

(Nice when I remember. But I still can't run or do jumping jacks. Not that I did much of either before babies!)

Good luck. And squeeze.

I remember those days! I would have to prepare myself to cough. Thankfully, it got better quickly after the baby was delivered!

It's times like this I'm so glad I can't get pregnant. Sorry.

I know whereof you speak. I had a bad, bad cough for 3 weeks this winter...and a bad bad pee problem for 3 weeks. I felt like a naughty puppy, peeing when I shouldn't. It was really freaking depressing.

Kegeling madly.

I know this is your post and not mine so I'll try to keep it short:)

Until the most recent pregnancy, I thought I could pee when I wanted. So,imagine having to hold off on the morning puking, pee quickly, then resume morning sickness only to STILL piss all over yourself. My husband was nice enough to bring me a clean pair of undies without being asked(after the first time). Good times. How can I possibly berate my almost five year old for wetting herself a few times a week when I am a full grown adult who can't master the task? I truly treasure my poise panty liners. I am not even the least bit embarrassed about buying them anymore. I'd rather get the look from the kid at Walgreen's then have to walk around smelling like pee every time I cough, sneeze, laugh too hard or get heartburn so bad that I puke. Oh and now that I have only a few weeks left I am turning into the crabbiest person ever, not that you asked.....

You know, J&J makes the surgical equipment to fix that problem. You can use your uterine prolapse mirror to inspect the damage.

Now imagine this room is your vagina...

(Sorry folks - Camp Baby insider joke.)

(taking a big breath for courage...)

Hello, my name is Beth, and I pee my pants.

I pee when I sneeze. I pee when I cough. I pee when I laugh too hard, and I definatley pee when I puke. A LOT.

Thank you for creating such a safe forum for admission. Now, I'll still pee my pants, but at least I won't be peeing ALONE.

Get thee some Depends pantiliners!

Hilarious! It's my 1st time around, at 29 weeks, and since about week 2 I have peed every time I sneeze, cough, or throw up. Luckily, I have been constipated the whole time, to make up for it I suppose. I admire your fortitude in going for your 3rd kid!

Ok. I had the sneeze-pee down to an art. If I felt a sneeze coming I would STOP what ever I was doing to cross my legs to sneeze. This was a pain while driving. Sometimes you just have to sneeze.

All I can say now is KEGEL KEGEL KEGEL.. It worked for me.

Now I only have to watch if I am squeezed, you know those bear hugs your family gives when they haven't seen you in a year, or if I am laughing too much while drinking. :)
Good luck with the 'riods, my favorite is the 'roids wipes..AHHHH

Glad to know I'm not the only one who pees when I sneeze! I have to drive the kids to the park that's right up the street because, should I need to use the bathroom, I wouldn't make the walk home!

Three. C-sections.

Do you know what they do to your bladder during those things? If you don't, check it out: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/c-section/MM00531

Peeing on demand can only be topped by peeing without demand at all. Ha.

I had it so bad I decided on surgery when youngest was three. I strongly recommend it too. Best thing I've done for myself. I can run, jump and chase my kids around like I hadn't done in years.

Both of my kids pick their noses. Kids are gross.

And now I know what I have to look forward too as I get farther along in my third pregnancy, Peeing. Yay.

Can you imagine if a man had to endure all this shit to give birth. We wouldn't be here to write about it because there would have been no 'dawn of man' in the first place. My hubby gets a cold and it's like the world is coming to an end. He could never endure pregnancy. I for one, loved the baby thing - the making of and the having...not the gestating part.

My boobs got so abnormally large that I slammed the car door on my right one so hard that I screamed out loud. Neighbors thought I was going into labor and came a'runnin.

As far as the pee thing goes - I am afraid to tell you that it doesn't get better ...Hell, I yawn and pee comes out. Nor do the 'roids.

@jen: OMG. Pussy Therapy. I'm going to DIE.

Dude. I used to sneeze-n-pee BEFORE I had a kid.

Can you imagine what I'm dealing with now???

Wow...you sound like me and this is only my 1st pregnancy. And these days, I have a baby doing a headstand on my bladder so any movement is a direct hit...I told one of my coworkers that I think I need to just move my office into the restroom...it would be much mor efficient!

I just laughed so hard I peed myself ;)

Ugh, you make motherhood sound so glamorous. :) I'm actually glad that I read blogs of mothers because I won't be able to pretend like I didn't know what I was getting into.
:) Becky

Augh. I just did kegels reading this- I've posted about this too- I just peed my pants on Sunday for millionth time it feels like this second pregnancy. I feel your pain.

It's stuff like this that makes my husband say, "I'm glad I don't have to be pregnant!" Thanks.

So funny and so true.
The little things that carry your
child will do to your body.
Mine included!

My 3 year old's also a champion booger-picker. But my 11 month old's boogers should win awards simply for their horrifying SIZE. Seriously, how does a cute little baby button nose house those monsters?

And yes, I pick the baby's nose. I admit it.

That Depends ad just made me pee myself.

Gosh, I just love reading what I have to look forward after the birth of my first and even more if we decide we have to have more than one! ;-P

This is the sole reason I will not have a 4th child... there were waaaay too many close calls while pregnant with my third. It's just plain evil to have to leave Target, mid-shopping, because you've got to pee NOW!

I think I just fell in love with you...

...no I'm not a freak...relax...

C'mon jen -- the truth will set you free. :)

It is a good thing that I had just peed, or else I would have pissed my pants...and I've only had one kid!!

Not gonna lie... this is probably one of the best posts I've ever read.

If I am half as funny as you when I become a mom, I will consider myself a lucky woman. Spontaneous peeing and all.

Confession: Reading this site scares me from conceiving children.

Hey I'm on my first (28 weeks) and I have had the pee-sneeze syndrome since the first trimester. It isn't a lot that comes out or anything but just enough to make you feel uncomfortable. Actually what I think is worse than the pee-sneeze is the after-pee-pee, you know after you pee if you don't want a few seconds for the backup pee to come out you soak your undies, what the hell is that? I guess I have two bladders, one that holds 99.5% of my liquids and they other that holds only .5% and it is the .5% bladder that is a real pain in the ass!

After 5 kids...
Well, let's just say I feel your pain.

Depends are huge. Poise pads are where it's at.

Thank me later.

Kegel, kegel, kegel.

Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

I just felt the intense need to cheer. So been there. So heading back to it as we speak.

I applaud your honesty! After 2 kids I can't do jumping jacks or sneeze hard without peeing myself - and my youngest will be 2 in December, so it stayed with me even after pregnancy. God its so f'in fantastic. Best part is I recently got physical therapy down below to fix it. PT for short which my husband now lovingly calls "pussy therapy" LOL!

My 4 year old is a nose picking champ too. I'm pretty sure she can get in as deep as her elbow if she wants.

Boobs? Well unless I'm breastfeeding I barely have them. It's a curse and a blessing all at once. :-D

I can hold picture frames to the walls with the boogers that my 2 kids pick - they are like some new mutant superglue.

When I was 8 months pregnant I peed myself right in the middle of Target. I told anyone who would listen my water just broke, and the next day I went out and bought a ginormous box of Depends.
Prengancy's a bitch, innit?

Left alone long enough my kid will eat his own poop. Oh, just an added bonus laughing hard will make me pee. Like last night when my 19 month old started shouting PENIS! PENIS! for no reason. There was not a cock in site.

Right there with you. At 26 weeks, I suddenly measure at 29 weeks and everything is bigger and "better" except for my bladder and ability to hold pee. And my 3 year old is a champion picker too. I can only hope that the 2nd one will have a simlar ability.

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