Crap Shoot

There's nothing like a $3,000 doctor visit, two more ultrasounds, and a lecture on Down Syndrome to make you realize that this is all a crap shoot.

Pregnancy, having kids, shit, life in general is a gamble, except the odds are decidedly in our favor.

Since my labs have yet to surface and my husband's guard unit didn't put in his extension orders like they had promised (hence a temporary cut off of all insurance benefits), I was reluctant to even go to the appointment with the Maternal Fetal Specialists dun dun DUNNNNNNNNNN.

But the worry was overwhelming me, so we sucked it up along with the $3,000 bill (which shall be reimbursed by our insurance company, oh yes it will), and went with husband in tow.

And after getting weighed again, answering 4,000 questions with "no," and having both an ultrasound tech and a very unfriendly doctor who wouldn't stop jiggling which made me want to ask him if he had to "go potty," they told us what we found for free on the internet, but in a way that made it way more believable, mostly due to the feel of the blue gel on my belly and the stench of latex gloves.

The ultrasound shows an Echogenic Foci on her heart which is a weak and controversial marker for Down's Syndrome. It's not indicative of anything else and thankfully she has no other issues, problems, concerns, oddly shaped bones, weird heart defects, or anything else that could be considered a marker.

She does, however, hate the ultrasound machine with a passion and refuses to remain still for very long. To me, that says a lot more about her than the damn foci.

So, I'm waiting to find out the results of the Quad Screen, but whatever those results may be (although my poor weak psyche is hoping for extremely normal), we're just going to ride this out the old fashioned way and wait until she makes her appearance.

And return to being excited about our sweet little girl.

[Thank you thank you so much for your encouraging stories. I cannot tell you how much they have helped me and my husband during this crazy adventure].

Comments

[Stacy Greco]

I am a nervous wreck at the moment. I am 20 weeks with my first baby. I am 35. I tested positive for the triple screen. I just had an ultrasound. Everything looked good except one kidney is a little large. The doctor said under normal circumstances, it wouldn't be a cause for concern, but my age and my positive test mean that it is a soft marker for DS. I was offered the amnio. I didn't know I would have to make a decision on the spot. I decided to do it, even though we are continuing the pregnancy no matter what. We have to wait 2 weeks for the results. Actually 3 - we will be on vacation in the Dominican Republic in 2 weeks. I am sick with worry. Can anyone give me any comfort?

[rachna]

I have also came thru this in my 20th week u/s..doctor said though its common in asian women but suggested me the second level testing(high resolution u/s)and if they find some problem ,will go for amnio..but i m not going for any testing as risk was found very low in my AFP test....and anyways even if it found we r not going to terminate so whats the use..better be off of these testing and have good hope to be everything fine...pray to god and enjoy the pregnacy

[mai]

i understand how you feel..
i did my level 2 ultrasound yesterday and the doctor said he found a soft mark in the heart of my baby boy. im so scared and anxious.
The genetic councelor said its common for asian(im glad im filipino) and will fade away.For now im waiting for my AFP result. Hope everything will come out normal.

[kirida]

We had the same marker when we went in for our son's ultrasound. We totally panicked since it was our first pregnancy and first time to hear scary medical terms. Luckily, another radiologist calmed us by saying that these spots are very common on children of Asian/Pacific Islanders (me!), and would eventually fade away and they did. Our son is very healthy and happy and I remember that initial fear and subsequent determination that no matter what, I would do this, I could do this. Hang in there.

[carla]

Would someone beable to connect me that had a baby with a echogenic foci i have been freaking out and not sure what to do. i have read the stories and trust me they are helping me but i figure if i can talk to someone would help me even more.

[carla]

I went for my second trim. screening found out i was having a boy. we were so happy until they told us they found a Echogenic Foci even though they told us not to worry im still freaked out. Your stories have helped me breath alittle.

[Jen @ amazingtrips]

I'm really glad your quad screen came back fine. Those "soft markers" are very scary. When I was pregnant with our triplets, all three of the babies had choroid plexus cysts on their brains (soft marker for Trisomy 19) and one of the babies had an ECF (echogenic cardiac foci) on their heart.

I was a nervous wreck for weeks until I had my level 2 u/s and everything showed up fine. The babies were born healthy (albeit 9 weeks early) and have been perfect ever since. Now, they are perfect three-year-olds which means I'm a basket case, most days.

[Leigh]

The same thing happened to me two weeks ago. Everything was fine except the little spot on her heart. I was nervous at first until they talked to us about what that meant (as you learned too, usually nothing). All my screening blood work came back great along with my ultrasound, so I'm not too worried, especially after what the doctors told us and what I've read about echogenic foci. Also, our doctor said he sees it in 1 in 10 women and for Asian women, 1 in 3. Wishing you the best.

[Heather Cook]

Hey there, I know I'm waaaay late. But my daughter had one of those markers too. Next time I'm just going to tell them not to tell me. It didn't mean anything and didn't make a difference anyway!

Big congrats on the grrl!

[Rambling Road]

Remember the kids you used to work with during music therapy? Yeah they may have been a little nuts at times and given you some good stories for sure, but any child you have is fortunate to have you, DS or no DS. You touched a lot of lives back in the day and now your family is the lucky recipient of your gift.

[LiteralDan]

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, like so many others here. I'm sure everything will be fine-- markers are called markers because they're not guarantees by any stretch of the imagination.

[Asha {Parent Hacks}]

Just sending you all of my hopes and good vibes. I think you are amazing.

[Christina]

Both of mine hated the ultrasound machine, too. They still hate to be messed with.

One soft marker doesn't mean much at all. You've got lots of people sharing stories of how they had perfectly healthy children after scares like this, so I don't need to throw in any more stories. And it's clear that no matter what the end result is, you're going to love that little girl very much.

[Rachael]

I think you are dealing with the situation in the perfect way. Your little girl is already so lucky to have so much love!

[Jamie E]

I am glad to hear that the suspect results aren't encouraging you to terminate. Bravo. she could come out just fine, plus Downs is fine too- imho. I am not a test person, I always figured "what would I do if there was something abnormal anyway?" And I know a lot of ppl like to prepare and I totally respect that too, thinking of you.

[Christy]

Yikes! I'd be a mess with worry. My mom always says to me, when I get all worked up over a doctor's advice/visit..."Christy, they don't know everything, they are PRACTICING medicine."

You and baby girl are in my thoughts!

[Amy]

Come by and see my latest photo!

[Manic Mommy]

Kids are nothing but worries from conception onward. They do it because they know we'll love them no matter what.

We had the marker, went for the super-duper ultra sound, and had a perfect baby boy. I had to know too, just to be prepared.

[Petula]

Oh the joys of the Maternal Fetal place! My last baby -- the fourth -- also had one marker! Something on her brain that I can't quite recall because I've blocked it out HOWEVER she is absoloutely perfect and yours will be too!

xoxoxo, woo woo woo, big hugs and all!

[Melissa P.]

I just want to give you a hug and tell you everything is going to be okay. HUG~

[Danielle-Lee]

Oh no! I'm so sorry you are going through this worry! Markers aren't always PERMANENT markers, so hang in there!

[Danielle-Lee]

Oh no! I'm so sorry you are going through this worry! Markers are always PERMANENT markers, so hang in there!

[the weirdgirl]

Hang in there. I went through this, too, all the way through an amnio. And my son was fine. I'm not sure I'd do an amnio again if I get pregnant. There are more glitches in the tests than there are actually babies with problems.

Good luck on your test and congratulations on your little girl!!

(I want a girl.)

[ScientistMother]

Ultrasound markers are hard and not necessarily reliable. My co-worker was told that one of her sons had an unusually large head and was advised to have an amino to confirm. Since she was having triplets, had suffered previous miscarriages, and had already lost one of current babies (yep she was supposed have quadruplets) she refused to risk the amino. Her babies are fine. Good luck on the quad, and remember that odds, thankfully, are stacked in your favour

[Angela]

That had to be hard to go on your own. We had a scare with my son when our Quad came up high for Trisomy 18. We did the ultrasound and had one of the markers there too, but like yours it wasn't something that alone would cause any issues. We couldn't do the amnio at that one because of where the placenta was, so we went thru another ultrasound a few weeks later.

The one marker was still there, but there were NO markers that were really scary (heart, spine or kidney defects, etc) and so we decided not to do the amnio. Because no matter what the amnio showed, it wasn't going to change what we would do. Everything looked ok, nothing obviously wrong, and so there was really no other option we'd consider besides continuing as planned. (Plus BONUS: avoid giant needle in the belly- sounded good to me!)

I tell ya, I sometimes think all these tests just cause MORE stress than they put to rest.

[mary]

i just stumbled upon your website a week or so ago...you rock. ok, so here goes, i had the same scare with our baby girl also, i was so terrified i was bouncing off the table as they are trying to gather all the info off the machines, anyway, long story short, i freaked out, cried, got over it, went for no other testing and just decided this was my baby and so be it. and thank God she is now the apple of our eye!!! Our 2 sons popped out fine and healthy and so did she. Enjoy your pregnancy and your little girl!!!

[PunditMom]

Keeping fingers crossed here. Another girl! YAY! I wish I had some other words of wisdom for you, but I don't. How about a virtual hug instead! xoxo

[allie]

We had the same scare.My OB called late evening on Friday before mother's day to tell me all the amnio was negative, (He did not want me to be worried on Mother's day) I burst out in tears. (those hysterical, omg I just won the lottery, out of control sobbing). My ob kepts saying , it's normal why are you crying?????
I never cried like that before and not since. I hope you get the same news.

[Miss Britt]

Good for you. Every baby deserves to have someone blissfully excited about them coming into the world.

Good. for. you.

[Cindy]

Hi there! Just wanted to tell you that we went through this exact thing with my 3rd child. Scared the crap out of us. It was all for nuttin though because my 9 lb 7 oz girl was absolutely perfect.

[Emily]

I don't have much to add but just wanted to commend you on an incredible attitude. She is lucky to have you as her mum!

[Phoenix]

They told my best friend the same thing with her youngest. But she didn't stay still either. They had convinced my friend she was having a Down Syndrome little boy. When she (not a boy)was born, it turned out she had a teeny hole in her heart, which closed up by itself by the time she was 18 months. Now she's a back talking 11 year old. :)

I'm glad you guys feel better about it though. It's one thing to know, it's another to spend months worrying.

[Heather]

After our own health "scare" with my first child we didn't do any more testing. It was too nerve-wracking thinking about the possible problem...and we couldn't do anything about it anyway.

You sound very positive though, which is wonderful.

[Lindsay]

Screening for 'soft markers' is somewhat controversial. When we had our 20 week ultrasound, we had the option of them looking for them or not. Our midwife said that it's WAY more likely to get a false positive than anything else. Lots and lots of babies have one or two of these things and end up being completely fine, except for the months of stress for the parents. Especially if it's only ONE marker - it's really unlikely that your little one has Down's syndrome. And if she does - you sound like the kind of person who can handle it. I'm sure everything will turn out fine!

[tracey]

Your attitude is awesome, hon. Worrying will get us nowhere. Accepting that we cannot change some things, gives us freedom. Your choice to be excited is exactly what you and your daughter need.Time will surely tell you if she has DS or not. If she does? It sounds like she would have a fabulous mom to help her through it...

Now, go get something pink and frilly!

[Wyliekat]

The quad screen (or triple screen, which is what it was when I went down this road) showed an elevated risk of DS for my girl, too. I went through hell and back trying to wrap my head around it. I did opt for the amnio, because I needed to know what to prepare for.

Turned out, I was preparing for a healthy, normal child.

I still loathe and detest the triple/quad screen for exactly this reason.

[Vicky]

When TD was 20 weeks we were told she had no nose. It was awful. We had to wait another four weeks to get in for another ultrasound so they could count her facial bones again. That month was the longest of my life.

When she was born my husband said, ten fingers, ten toes, one nose. How on earth did they miss her nose!?!

I'll be thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way. Know that many others are too.

[radmama]

Glad things look good after the second U/S.

My son had choroid plexus cysts spotted on a 18 week ultrasound 13 years ago and there was all sorts of panic (and misinformation.) They were gone two weeks later.

Does baby dislike the doptone, too? My current fetus hates all ultrasound technology with a passion. When s/he had more room to move, s/he had to be chased around the womb to get a heartbeat.

[fidget]

I hope the quad screen comes back quickly so you have some sort of idea of what the universe has in mind.

[the new girl]

Well said.

Total crap shoot and nothing you can do about it anyway.

Except be excited about a sweet little girl.

xo

[Bittermama]

I'll add a false alarm story. With my second child, at my 20 week ultrasound, they found a single artery umbilical cord and sent us for all sorts of follow-up testing, including a fetal echocardiogram and three additional scans to monitor for growth retardation. At one of the later ones, they found a dangling choroid in the brain, which they said was unrelated to the single umbilical artery or the kidney issue they suspected as a result of the umbilical artery. The dangling choroid didn't resolve in the later follow up ultrasounds.

Then she was born, they did another ultrasound of her brain, and everything was fine.

Moral: The more testing you get, the more likely to are to get a false positive, or three.

The ultrasound technology has really improved, even since our older kids were born (my son is close to your daughter's age). So these scares are becoming more and more common.

I'm sorry you have to go through this! I know it's incredibly stressful.

[SciFi Dad]

I'll have a good thought for you.

(Also? My kid won't stay still either... both appointments thus far have each taken an hour to get the proper measurements because he won't sit still.)

[T]

pregnancy what-ifs are the worst.

I'm confident you will find the right way to make all this work, regardless of the outcome.

*hugs*

[b]

I went through something similar with my third (girl). Finally, after many failed ultrasounds b/c the placenta was on top of her, I said, "Can we do anything about this while she's in utero?" Of course the answer was no, so I went on with the same attitude as you. Girl...wheee!

She's awesome, but does have a bad temper. Probably because those damn ultrasounds. heh.

[AndieH]

A close friend of mine had positive, or indicative of, Quad screens for Downs babies and in both cases the babies were born healthy and without Downs. Early in my pregnancy with baby #1 they determined that he had an enlarged bladder and sent me to a perinatologist, is that right, for further testing. They advised that we should because and enlarged bladder was a possible symptom of Downs. We decided not to get the usual tests and my son was born with no problems.
You're in my thoughts and prayers.

[Erin]

I have no encouraging story, however, your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Good Luck, whatever the turnout may be!

[Dani]

The tests? They suck.
Your attitude? It rocks.

I'm sending good juju your way in hopes that this is all clear to you soon.

[Shannon]

you're in love with her already, markers or not. Best wishes on the Quad screen, whatever the results may be.

[jen]

K, this happened to us, it was difficult (she had 4 markers) and yet it turned out just fine...email me if you want more, but i'm sure it's a common story. xo

[Sunshine]

I'll be thinking of you. All the tests made me nervous, I don't think you ever get used to worrying about the outcome and you don't stop hoping for a healthy baby no matter how many you've had before.
Sometimes I wonder if the fear is just a preparation for the fear and worry that goes along with parenthood. I hope everything turns out OK, you seem incredibly together when it would be very easy to allow yourself to get hysterical. The sign of a pro: staying calm and waiting for the answers to reveal themselves.

[All Adither]

You have an amazing, balanced attitude about this scare. And I bet that's what it is, just a scare. Do be excited about your girl. So much to look forward to!

[Erika Jurney]

Gah, all these screening tests are designed to catch as many as possible in order to "guarantee" that somewhere in the pool they have caught all the real positives. I'm so sorry that you're caught up in this statistical nightmare.

[Kelly]

What NotAMeanGirl said. You're having a girl! Wheeeeee!

[Lisa]

I'm sorry you have to go through this worry. Have you, by chance, read anything about Alaska's governor, who just had a baby who happened to have Downs Syndrome? What a wonderful point of view. No matter what, you are in my prayers.

[NotAMeanGirl]

hang in there hon. markers are just markers... they aren't difinitive! much love to you guys.