Boob Man

We've been waiting impatiently for the 15 month language explosion to hit. Instead, it's just a bunch of ass and nose explosions, neither of which help me to understand exactly what my son is saying (except don't feed me all that yogurt and perhaps wash my hands a few more times).

I've become one of those moms who annoyingly states and repeats basic words to the point of the on-looker just wanting to say the word for the kid.

"BALL. It's a FUCKING BALL, lady. Now leave the poor baby alone."

It's not that he can't say anything. He consistently offers a resounding "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM" anytime food is brought to the table. That's always nice for this domestic zero's ego. And he makes "kissing" noises when you ask him what a duck says because my husband taught him to do that to get them to come over to him. We've since added "bwhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrr" for a truck and heavy panting for a dog or hot or both.   

And over the course of the last few weeks, he's said "mama," "ba" (ball), and "nana" (banana) with some intention. But then the lunar eclipse and the perfectly aligned stars pass over us and it is gone.

He's quite a talented "pointer n' grunter" so much so that we're bound to give him absolutely anything he wants off the kitchen table just to get him to stop. And he's taken to using a few ASL signs, with some fascinating interpretations -- my favorite being the hand to the mouth with loud sucking noise for drink.

Unfortunately, he's also decided to incorporate baby gangster language, like biting - or as he seems to be saying "Give me that toy, bitch," hitting - which is code for "Get the hell off my couch," and tossing things at people's heads (with uncanny aim); that's generally interpreted as "Don't mess with me with or I will cut you." (or as my daughter would tell you, "bruise my freaking forehead.")

So last night, during our nightly story hour, we were reading one of his favorite books*. And being the obsessive good mom that I am, I was saying every single word that he was pointing to. Without thinking, he pointed to the mom's large pregnant breast and I said "Boob."

"Boob!" he said, in his cute baby voice.

Oh Jesus. Are you kidding me? You're going to say that?

"What's that," I asked him, hoping it was just a fluke.

"BOOB!"

Now if I had known he was going to add "boob" to his vocabulary, I would have called it "breast" - being that I'm all for using the "correct" terminology, but I figured best to pad the word count for the 18 month doctor visit.

And "boob" is just way easier to say. You know, other than "jugs."

*Like many books we (and you) probably own, it is not one of my favorite books. But there are lots of renderings of babies, and he loves it.

Comments

[coach outlet]

three fields to cross till a farm appears

[caramama]

That is awesome. My little girl started saying boob at one point. I didn't even realize I had been referring to them that way until she repeated me once. Ooops.

[Bella]

Hi! I just found you blog and i wanted to let you know that I absolutely love it! I am adding you to my blogroll!

[Alyssa]

Hah! I almost wet myself when I read this. My 19-month old gets super mad when he can't communicate clearly so his high pitched screeching frequently gets broken up by his wailing for "booooooooob!"

[Tori]

I love your vulgar little man-baby... I want him as a friend!

How can he be so old already? Didn't you just have him?

Kisses

Tori

[Mrs. Schmitty]

That should be an interesting well-check!!

[emily]

When mine was about that age, he would smack his lips at me every time he saw my boobs. And, my husband coined the term "boobie milk", so he never really had the chance to learn correct terminology.

[motherbumper]

He's a man that knows what he wants - good for him. Sounds like he has a good pitching arm.

[Heather]

Oh man, so funny. My 11 month old says "Balls" and he means BALLS. He calls my boobs BALLS, grabs his balls and says BALLS, looks at daddy out of the shower, points and says "BALLS". If I hand him a regular, old, red ball he says "baul", like it is a whole different word. Weirdo.

[jennielynn]

Our sons must be "brothers from other mothers." Hand to God, Big Red is more likely to smack you than anything. At 20 months, it's getting old.

[dadshouse]

I had a girlfriend tell me the correct terminology is "boobie". I just pointed and grunted.

Too funny!

[Josie]

I thought all men's first words were boob. It's genetically hardwired into them.

[Manic Mommy]

Boys talk later. I'm with Heather; once HRH started, he hasn't stopped.

Then again, his first word wasn't boob.

[RubiaLala]

Don't you love how they pick up the words you DON'T want them to say?

[Cara]

I stopped asking my daughter when it was time to nurse if she "wanted some boobie" when it occurred to me that these could be her first words. Hilarious, tho!

[Mrs. Dub]

My 18-month-old is actually quite verbose, but any word that is vaguely reminiscent to a swear word will be "accidently" pronounced like the curse word. Shirt is a particular problem.

Maybe she'll be a sailor one day.

[ScientistMother]

my 16 month-old is also very proficient at the grunt n point. I figure he's very physical so its okay he'll talk when he wants...

[Izzy]

My 3 year old wasn't talking much either at this age... actually, he didn't really start talking until he was about 26-27 months. And now he doesn't want to stop. Oh and he doesn't have volume control.

Count your blessings, I say. :-)

[MommyMoments]

Girl.. don't feel bad! My girls took a while to speak to the point of me understanding them... All of a sudden, one day, they wouldn't shut up.. and now.. they talk my ears off daily...

We actually have someone going through the same thing on my forums right now.. if you want to check it out... www.parentscentral.net/forums

Seriously... tho.. boobs, are a great word to know young LOL

[LiteralDan]

I didn't know there was a 15-month language explosion. Everything I've read says they're supposed to have about 10 words at that age.

My daughter exploded at 14 months and says almost anything she wants to now (16 months)-- I liked it better when she was special! lol

My son waited a long time to talk much, so don't feel so bad. It'll come, but don't count on Boob going away anytime soon. Babies prioritize better than most people, and his appreciation for said objects is likely only to increase.

[The Fashionable Housewife]

ROFL!! That's great! He knows what he wants... forget the rest of the words in the English language. We want BOOBS!

My 9 month old girl just started saying "Boobie" one day and I couldn't believe it! Now I'm embarrassed when she starts demanding "BOOBIE!" out in public.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

All-Adither -- GREAT idea. That's probably wear Ta-Ta came from. Obsessed moms trying to teach their kid a word. ANY WORD.

haha.

[Roxie]

Just wait. My 3 year old (at the time) and i were in a department store looking at sunglasses. Suddenly he noticed some of those large round mary-kate olsen style sunglasses and loudly announced "MOMMY.... those sunglasses look just like BOOBIES" and that was only the beginning of his embarrasing comments.

[All Adither]

Seems like Ta-Ta would be pretty easy for him to pronounce, if you want another variation.

[lizneust]

Oh my God. I did this too. My oldest had maybe 10 words, which she used for any and everything. Mama, daddy, cat, milk. The usual roster. And she stayed stuck at 10 words for FOREVER. And then one day I dropped the milk and said "Shit." And she picked it up and used it (accurately) for the next 3 months. And the worst part? There was clearly only room for 10 words right then. So she "lost" one of her words. Which word did she lose? Daddy. He was SO pissed. She's 4 now and I've been forgiven, but anytime she uses a "bad" word, I get a dirty look.

[Heather]

Well a word is a word. At least he knows what it is :O)

[Lindsay]

Ha! My then-three year old informed me that a heart-shaped balloon looked like "a pair of boobs" and his first written word (before he even really knew any letters) was "TITS". I reason that he's probably going to be a mighty fine plastic surgeon.

[mothergoosemouse]

The boy knows what he likes.

[Heather]

Tee hee! Oh be careful with the hoping for speech...once my son started, he hasn't stopped. He's almost 4 now. Sometimes my ears bleed.

[The Other Sister-in-Law]

Oh, and by-the-way, Happy Belated Birthday!

[The Other Sister-in-Law]

Ha ha ha!

Oh, the stories you'll be able to use to embarrass him when he's older... ;)

[Maman]

Thank you! I needed the laugh this morning just to remind me that all of us Moms are living our own special bizarro world.

Oh and for the Undomesticated Diva? You are absolutely correct. As the mother of a 13 year old I can attest to the lack of spelling skills in swear word usage. It is just sad.

[Marketing Mommy (Alma)]

I'm pretty certain my 3-year-old is all girl, but she still stares at my chest when I get out of the shower and says, "I really just love your boobies, mommy."

Yesterday that was followed up with "When I'm 16 I'll be a grown-up and I'll have a baby and I'll nurse nurse nurse him all the time."

Not if I have anything to do with it...

[Undomestic Diva]

Just last night my 5 yr old asked me how to spell "sit." Or so I thought. Then he had to correct me and say, "No mommy, SHIT. Like the stuff that comes out of your butt."

Oh.

Well then, it's S-H-I-T. I mean, I do want him to know how to correctly spell whatever profanities he might tag on some bathroom wall. 'Cause otherwise, he might just look uneducated.

Right?

[Stacey]

Oh this sounds so much like my not quite 16 month old.... and the biting! What the hell is up with that! I'll be sitting there doing nothing and he decides that he MUST have a bite of my LEG. As he laughs maniacally....And my 3 year old has taken to repeating, "I don't want Bubba to bite me."

He has just a few words of his own, I keep telling myself that boys simply don't speak as soon...

[Fairly Odd Mother]

This is when messing with your kid bites you in the ass. Just remember to call it "bum" or you'll be hearing that too!

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

I think it is safe to assume that he is straight.

My son was talking about my boos this morning. He's almost 4. What is it with men?

[SciFi Dad]

Think of it as a launching platform to other words, such as, uh...

tube
rube
jube jube
doob

These are all important words every child needs to know.

(And really, he doesn't need to get to "zits" for a while yet, so you chose the right colloquialism.)

[Mom101]

Great first word. Way better than knockers. Get it in the baby book, stat.

[Suebob]

He obviously knows the really handy words.