Motherhood Uncensored

Goodnight My Someone

My daughter has a typical bedtime routine that is totally absent of breastfeeding, rocking, lulling, patting, crying (mine, that is), and pleading. Now had you told me this little anecdote almost four years ago, I would have laughed at you.

Or cursed you, depending the on the night.

She was a beast of a sleeper, requiring some type of parental intervention involving an "ing" at way too many times during the night.

But now that we simply brush her teeth, read her a story, and turn off the lights, it's hard to remember how much work we used to put in just to get her to close her tiny little eyes and keep them closed for those precious dark hours. I've since pushed aside the difficult memories of her first year, mainly as a means to protect the little glimmers of sanity I have left.

Tonight she asked me to rub her back and sing her lullabies. She's laid claim to the five or so songs that were in regular rotation in mommy's live and in-person cd player. And so, out of respect for her request, I don't sing those songs to Drew. And since she doesn't need them anymore, I haven't sung them in a very long time.

As I softly scratched out a few notes as she lay quietly on her very big girl pillow in her very big girl bed and the memories flushed through me, I choked up a bit.

It wasn't a new feeling -- to be stifled by my own salty mix of frustrated sobs while singing those songs, standing painfully alone in the dark in a trance of sleeplessness and helplessness. But this time, the tears came with a smile, as I remembered the beauty of our nightly rendevous. Once tarnished by pain and frustration, the truly sweet moments I endured every single night with her for over two years were returned to me fully shined.

Almost brand new.

And for the first time, when I sang those words, my only memory was of that precious baby girl, my best girl, falling slowly to sleep in the crook of my tired left arm, her fuzzy head and compact body heavy as she drifted off into dreamland.

My memory reclaimed. My memory, as it should be.

And This is How I Weaned My Son

Leave town for a good four days for an interview and a conference, and let your husband deal with the him.

Just don't decide to hop on a flight to LaGuardia because all the flights to Newark are delayed or canceled (and this time you can't drive to the conference) but your bag with all your fun new clothes and breast pump stayed on your original flight to Newark.

[Thank you hair stylist and make-up artist and way too expensive NYC sweater and fresh pair of underpants I remembered to pack in my purse].

Okay, so maybe it won't be that simple for you. Quite frankly, we've been working for the last few weeks to drop a feeding (I was down to one before I left). We've also instituted a little bit of CIO and a sippy cup of water in the crib. And while we've had to endure some crying (okay. disclosure: A LOT), it's been working well.

And what a surprise, he slept perfectly fine last night for my husband.

But guess what? So did I.

[If you do want to hear some of the helpful hints the MU readers so kindly shared that did not include a trip to New York but really should (Mom's Weaning Camp!), drop me an email and I'll try to summarize for you]. 

Swear-Bys, and an April Giveaway

So is it just me or are you curious to know people's favorite stuff? I could care less if Angelina wore it or used it or tattooed it on her ass.

But my fellow mamas? I'm all over it.

Now I know it's a bit presumptuous to assume that you give two flying craps about what I love, but hell, when did that ever stop me? So, I've compiled a bunch of my favorites, along with the awesome giveaway from one of my April sponsors, mom-run business Itty Bitty Lady Bug Boutique (coincidentally, Cecilia reads my blog and is extremely friendly and generous, so on that alone you should go visit her site. But she's giving something away too, you know, if you're motivated by free stuff).

So here goes (and I was not paid to say I like these things. I just like them. The end):

Maternity: Bumpstyle. You say $79 for a shirt, and I say, emphatically YES. I wore it from DAY ONE of my pregnancy through the 4th trimester. It's a one size shirt that is long so it covers the damn maternity pants even when you're gihugic, it's super soft and comfy, and seriously, you will get MORE than your average use out of it.

Sling/Carrier: If you saw me at BlogHer, or sadly, in EVERY single picture of me at BlogHer, I was either wearing Drew in a Rockin' Baby Sling or a Baby Hawk. They are by far my favorites for a few reasons. Rockin' Baby (the pouches) are sized but they have zippers on the shoulder so you can size it up or down. And it's a thinner shoulder strap -- way more comfy. The Baby Hawk is sturdy and comfortable and hands down (or off) the best. I have heard from my BFF that Baby Bisou rocks too. Again, you'll get your money's worth.

Jewelry: If only my son wasn't so grabby (magnetic closure), I'd wear my Blend Creations necklace every day. I purchase an ox bone one that has a graphic inscription with the same meaning as my middle name (Chinese), but I love her washi pendants too. They are simply gorgeous and you'll wear it all the time.

Not So Common Toddler Board Books: The Kit Allen Seasons series of four books is my daughter's fave and now my son's too. She could "read" it since each page is just one word (great for quick bedtimes too!). Adorable.

Baby Flat Ware: Since Drew insists on feeding himself, I'm loving the Boon Benders. They rock. Now I realize they didn't get great Amazon reviews, but let me tell you, they work for him. I bend, he scoops, no food on shirt. And they are BPA-free.

Diaper Cream: I was recently introduced to Diaper Goop thanks to that feature of mine in the Arkansas Democrat Gazette. He's a local Little Rock guy that made this very goopy stuff. Now, it's not sweet smelling (better than Desitin, mind you), but it works. Anytime Drew's butt was red, I slopped it on there (it's like hair cream stuff) and he was fine the next day. It feels very natural which is good because I loathe the smell of Desitin. (ew). Plus, it has no zinc oxide so I'm betting it's good for cloth dipes. Seriously, go check it out!

Feel free to share your swear-bys with me in the comments. Links are welcome.

And now, if you want to win a $50 to Itty Bitty Lady Bug Boutique, just peruse her shop and tell me what you are coveting in the comments. I'll pick one winner at random on April 30. You may enter only once. And congrats to March Giveaway Winner, Karianna!

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If you want to chat with some of your favorite bloggers tonight (woo!), then hop onto my radio podcast and listen OR call (646) 915-8634. Plus, I've got a slew of great guests lined up for April.

And pssssssssst I forgot to mention, the names? Yeah, those were Quinlan's picks. April Fool's :)

Playing the Name Game

We came up with Drew's name the day before I had him. Up until then we had absolutely nothing, which is great when people keep asking you what you're going to name the baby or like my in-laws did when they heard we had picked "Quinlan," offer us a list of "acceptable names."

No joke.

Even after Drew was born we still couldn't exactly figure out what to name him. There we sat, with our baby screaming from the warmer with no answer to all the excited nurses asking us what his name was. I'd always laughed about those people who took their kid home without a name, but that was almost us. And so, I laugh no more.

Since we almost had a no name baby here (or Chalk, as Quinlan named him), it's no surprise that this time around we have been struggling. But struggling is inordinately better than not having anything at all.

So we're trying to eliminate a few right now before we move onto the "You want to name our kid what? No fucking way!" round which, by the way, is always great for marital relations. I'd honestly love to hear your thoughts. Be specific. It's my kid's name for god sakes.

BOYS

Mozart (huge fan)

Emeril (huge fans, too)

Orville (like the popcorn, and you know, the plane thing)

Arkie (cute and where he was conceived!)

GIRLS

Electra (Loved the movie!)

Lavendar (Sort of like Violet but not)

October (It's her birth month, afterall -- plus, Halloween!)

Gerta (German Heritage -- cute family name)

Okay, so what say you? Love 'em, hate 'em...?? Now onto middle names. God help me.