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March 13, 2008


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1. - Ten seconds. That little penis hits the cool air and it's all over. And the shoes were probably on carpet not hardwood.

2. - The amount of time you've been out minus five minutes.

3. - The phone? Oh, you mean the magical mommy magnet.

4. - Nope, he's gonna poop in housewares.

Sounds like the dog was better prep for kids than I realized! We play:

How long can you go between trips outside without getting a puddle in the kitchen? Can we take the dog out (forgetting a bag) and not end up with an embarrassing pile? How soon after the puppy settles will another dog walk by outside and get her all worked up again?

Looking forward to the new games when we welcome our first kid this summer!!

Ha, I play that game on a daily basis, my favorite is when my kids stay in one room and start the Mom..Mommy..Mah..Mum...Mom...Mommy for minutes on end since thier little butts are too lazy to come in the other room. I simply wait and see how loud they can get, or if they will go into a full out temper tantrum..im such an evil mother.

Sorry, that should be HOW. The Ho is reserved for the political blogs these days. Bleah.

Ho long do I have to use the bathroom/start dinner/look over school papers/blog before Child 1 torments Child 2 into a howling fit resembling the Tasmanian Devil.

How many sips into your third HOT cup of coffee will you have to abandon the nearly-full cup to get stone cold (like its two predecessors) so that you can attend to a crayoning crisis?

How many days in a row can the 3 and 1 year old bathe together before the 1 year old poops in the tub?

How long can you sit and enjoy the quiet in your house before your 15 year old calls for a ride home? it never ends, friends.

Hmmm I have no money to place bets...but I'm guessing it's okay, because I'd probably loose.

Our game right now is the, whose turn is it to need antibiotics. It's a great game. It's only followed in fun by the all-time favorite, whose school is calling today.

God, I wish it was spring.

How long can I turn my back to do anything from pee, to fix a meal, to contemplate existence before wee one tears every stinking magazine or book off the in-laws shelves...only 1.4 weeks before I'm back in my house!

How many minutes of play time will mommy and daddy get before their 2y/o comes and knocks on the door.

"Whacha doin'in dere?"
The phrase that has turned many a phallus flaccid.

How long can you sit with the computer on your lap before you spot your baby putting a bit of carpet fuzz in her mouth?

Also, how long into "quiet time" will the usual barrage of 4YO questions start?

PS: Quiet Time is when the two young ones are napping and the oldest must play by herself and not interrupt my lunch time. It's supposed to be for 30 minutes, but I usually only get about 2.

How long after you've closed the bathroom door until someone
a) yells for you
b) comes in
c) asks if they can take a look

How long after you've closed the bathroom door until someone
a) yells for you
b) comes in
c) asks if they can take a look

How long can I, um, blog or answer email before my daughter eats dirt? Or a paper clip? Or a piece of dog biscuit? Or WHATEVER?

How about..."hey let's screw with the clocks and mess up small children's sleep schedules"...yeah, that's a good idea.

How soon after taking a bite of your favorite snack will you hear the moan of a little voice say..."I want one too"?

Hahaha you won't get very far doing any of those. I wish you much luck though since I never have any. Every time I don't bring a diaper bag cause "it will be quick" I get screwed.

Running naked in our house is asking for something to get pee'd on.

20 min naps instead of 2 hr naps DO NOT work here either. I like to think they do but I know they don't.

Phone conversations are asking for whining, crying and tantrums! Avoid at all costs.

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