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February 23, 2008

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Oh...my god, I think this too. And I get so frustrated! Then I think how really quickly it will go by. Then I think how, no matter what, I love my daughter. Even when she's mad at me.

I still cry sometimes, though!

This is what I try to remind myself about every day- but sometimes it's hard. Have you seen the video of the college prof. who's dying of pancreatic ca? He's the father of 3; his last lecture was on Oprah and is going around the internet. Google it if you haven't seen it- it's powerful and will make you want to treasure every snotty, puking, ass-digging moment.

hi! De-lurking. I am 27 with no kids, and found your site from a connect with a fashion blog. long -time reader. This post made me cry. Reminded me of all the great things my mom did... I still do not know if I can "do" the kid thing. I am so not sure if I can handle everything you and your world describes. You are INCREDIBLY strong and I really admire you, and all the women who post on here. It's completely amazing what you do, and how you get up and do it again.
Blessings to you and growing family.
Thank you.

This is a perfect post about motherhood. Very well said.

We've been having a few tough weeks of our own and my new mantra is "One Day I'll Miss All This."

This is a perfect post about motherhood. Very well said.

We've been having a few tough weeks of our own and my new mantra is "One Day I'll Miss All This."

Good Lord...who's idea was is to fill our heads with visions of skinny, happy, sane Mommies with clean hair gently rocking their cooing, sweet, infants that smell of that (fleeting) wonderful baby smell all while beautiful Enya music fills the perfectly decorated nursery? What-ev!
Thanks for keeping it real Lady!

I'm a mess, my house is too but I promise you, I'm not missing a thing. One day my kids will be gone and my house will look like a spread in Better Homes and Gardens...and I will be so sad...

Yeah, even when it's so incredibly difficult that we think we can't take one more minute, they throw us a bone: a charming smile, an incredibly cute phrase, a sudden burst of compassion...and it's those things that keep us going.

Great post. NO matter how much I want to run screaming from the house sometimes, my love is true and constant. Amen.

just found you and hereby declare myself a loyal reader. so nice to read honest, candid accounts of motherhood. All the fluffy yap yap that's posted out there does nothing but alienate and irritate. Yes we love our kids. Yes they are a blessing. Yes there is a lot more to it than just that.

I love posts like this. Thanks for the reminder.

Wonderful post. Motherhood will kick your ass, and break your heart in ways you can't imagine, but it will also give you the greatest and most sustained joy the human heart is capable of.

I hope I can add my 2 cents even though I am not a mother. I wanted to because I was saying this very thing to myself last night. I sometimes want to give up trying to get my life together-all alone, on my own, what's it all worth, I think...Last night I clearly said that I would never give up. That the trials of my ankle surgery and finding a job again will not do me in.

Not the same thing, I know. But I'm glad you say this too. Never give up and always remember that this day, this moment passes and we need to be in the moment, lest we miss the good times.

Thanks for your post. :)
Joy

Spot on.

:-)

Yes. You got it. Exactly.

Oh, and right there with you right now. I'm so sick (heh) of being puked on right now.

I know a father who left his family when it got hard like this. Left them, three kids aged 2, 4 and 6, in the middle of the night without saying goodbye. He suddenly decided he didn't want to do 'this' anymore, so he moved about as far away as he possibly could have. He's been back to visit, twice, each time disrupting the kids' lives so much that they go feral for just long enough to convince him that he made the right decision. It only takes one night of broken sleep and he's ready to leave again. We (those of us who love them and their mother) are waiting for the day he stops coming at all, and waiting for the day they get a stepfather who has that gene, the one that all reasonable mothers have and most reasonable fathers, that gene that makes it impossible to imagine life without kids, snot and all.

Sorry to rant, but your beautiful post hit a raw nerve.

Amen, sister. Amen.

Loving two, a little afraid of having three over here...and therefore admiring you a lot. Hang in there! The adoration and sweet moments really are worth the difficulties. And you will be amazing.

Exactly. There's a church near my house that has "Never Give Up!" emblazoned on the wall near the street. I'm not a member, but it cheers me up each day when I drive by.

Well, wait 'till age sixteen. It can change, on the surface anyway. Where you are told they hate you and you respond with, you hate them too.

But ages 3-15 are delightful!

Well said.

As usual.

My mantra some days is "This too shall pass. I hope." It helps to chant it loudly so you can't hear the whining... But, my oldest is a young man, and my baby is now in double digits. It goes so fast.

Thanks for reminding me that being knee deep in snot and eye goo IS actually worth it.

What a beautiful post, thank you.

You are so right about it not lasting long so please enjoy it. Just yesterday I was putting my oldest on the bus for his first day of school while my middle son was at nursery school and my baby son was all snuggled close to me. They are now 23, 21 and 18. I swear it went by in the blink of an eye!! I loved every minute of it and love reading your blog and remembering it all. I was thrilled when you announced #3! My #3 is my best buddy.

Excuse for crying? Dude. I was a W-R-E-C-K last night, and I don't need no stinkin' excuses. This shit is hard.

But yeah, it's pretty awesome much of the time too.

Oooohhh... didn't realize that you were still nursing. Ouch. I did that with #2 (got pregnant when #1 was 11 months old, didn't wean her until she was 28 months old). My nipples got so sensitive, it was worse than nursing her in the beginning, and my milk dried up for a good half of my pregnancy, but she kept right at it... It was rough. Sometimes, nursing both of them, I totally felt like a dairy cow.

If you need any help/advice with nursing while pregnant and/or tandem nursing, and/or weaning one while still nursing the other, don't hesitate to email me.

The one piece of advice I will give unsolicited is this - do NOT read the La Leche League's books on tandem nursing. They are full of guilt and judgment and if you thought the whole breast vs. bottle thing was bad when your kid was brand new you won't believe how they can lay it on when you're deciding to wean. Honestly, the books had me in tears, feeling like I was the worst mother ever to even think of denying my daughter the breast, even though it hurt like fury when she nursed and she was well over one year old. It was awful. Do not read. Talk to real people instead. Like me.

I think I just fell in love with Valuewit. If she (he?) can talk that sweet, I want to opt for a percentage of it on a regular basis.

She speaks of a beautiful thing.

Here's the secret. In just the shortest amount of time the kids become self-sufficient in massively meaningful ways like:
1.wake up and play quietly while you sleep.
2. Make art projects for you and cleanup without being asked.
3. wipe themselves
4.pet your hair in a non-annoying way while you are sick.

In just a few years, this goldmine will be all yours! This insane hard work and unimaginable stress you are experiencing right now will subside and riches will fall upon you.

What the ....??? How did I miss this news about #3?? Please forgive me for being a bad bloggy friend.

Tomorrow is another day, right Scarlett?

Thank God they're so cute when asleep...

Thanks. I'm drowning today and misery really does love company.

Wow Mindi. I did the poop digging just yesterday.

Nice to know I'm not alone.

Exactly.

you said it perfectly! thank you!

You are so right. This is what we do! We run ourselves into the ground, only to peel our heads off the bathroom floor to admire the glue-art our preschooler needs to have validated. But, damn, it does make for great stories.

I've had a wonderful week like you...full of projectile vomit, diarrhea (in and out of snowsuits), getting yelled at by my son's school, a mother's club Board meeting that was reduced to a catfight and literally having to dig poop out of my 20-month old's butt after watching her scream and cry and try to pass it for 30 minutes.
And as gross as this week was, I know I will look back one day at this time with longing.

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