Motherhood Uncensored

Not What, But Who

I'm never one to talk up my own kids. I tend to roll my eyes at the moms that gush about their Chinese-speaking two-year-old who can do yoga and read.

Try toilet swishing. Sass-mouthing. Monster pooping. We'd knock your socks off in the quickest roll and getaway by a 13-month-old during a diaper change.

It's not to say that I don't think my kids are wonderful, talented, and incredibly gorgeous.

Hello. Look at their mother.

Heh.

But it's more that I don't necessarily want them to be known for what they can or can't do. Quinlan, the artist, Drew, the toilet swisher, and Fetus-Hathor, the brain sucker.

I want them to be known for who they are, and quite often that's very hard to communicate to someone else.

How do I really tell someone about my daughter's gentle spirit with a flair for the dramatic. Her patient heart when it comes to her unruly younger brother. Her creative mind that never stops working.

Or my son's twinkle in his eye, particularly when he is doing something he's not supposed to. And his wide, bright smile that greets me and my husband whenever we enter the room.

To some people, that's not impressive. And that won't get them into Harvard. Or make them a million dollars.

But honestly, speaking Chinese at two won't guarantee Harvard or a million dollars either.

And while nothing can guarantee happiness and personal fulfillment -- two things I desire most for my children -- I'm betting that a little less of the yoga, and perhaps, a little more focus on your child's spirit and strengths, might do them way more good than downward facing dog.

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We're collaborating with the Strengths Movement and author Jenifer Fox, hoping to spread the word about her new book and this exciting educational movement that focuses on the various strengths your children posess rather than their limitations. I hope you'll consider bragging about your own kids today (damn, it felt good), and perhaps win some of the fantastic prizes we're offering.

It's also the last day to enter an amazing giveaway from Julian & Co. Someone needs to win and by golly, why shouldn't it be you?

Save My Pants!

Okay. So over the last few weeks I, like another fantastic mommy blogger many of us know and love, have adopted a mom uniform, much to the chagrin of my husband.

Enter my J.Crew track pants.

Now, these bad johnnies have gotten me through two and a quarter first-trimesters in what I thought was a fairly non-imposing (meaning, not stylish but not frumpalicious either) manner. They're comfortable and the best part, they're long enough for my 35 inch inseam.

Do you know how hard it is to find track pants that are long enough?

I don't usually wear them out of the house, but I have, on occasion, made a trip to the grocery store wearing them paired with sneakers and a vest.

Look! They can be easily paired with an Argyle t-shirt! (That's hot this season. Ask Liz. She knows).

Okay. So they have an elastic waistband. But c'mon. Are you really looking at that or my cute 8-week pregnant belly? (On second thought, don't answer that. It's rhetorical).

So, if you think I should let my husband burn them, then feel free to say so. I'm a big girl. I can take it. But if you think that they're not so bad and you, by chance, have worn something worse (and have picture evidence to prove it that you will generously share on your blog... ahem), then speak now.

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Separately, help out my friend who is trying to finish her dissertation. She really needs your help.

Are you a mom?  Do you blog?

I am a mom trying to finish my PhD; and I need YOUR help!

I am conducting academic research FOR you and ABOUT you. I have a particular interest in studying those things that make the transition to motherhood easier, or at the very least, better understood.  The growing number of “Mommy Bloggers” has piqued my interest and I am researching the experience of blogging for mothers of young children.  Your help would be greatly appreciated and go a long way toward increasing the knowledge of the ways in which blogging can be meaningful for people like mothers.

Please complete my survey and let me know about your blogging experience.

Please click HERE to learn more.

I know your time is valuable, thank you so much for participating.

Racists and Sexists Won't You Come Out Tonight

I have to admit that I'm pretty surprised that race and gender have not played a bigger role in the primaries. Could it be that our country has finally moved past the race and gender issues that have plagued us since the beginning of time?

Please.

Until we see equal pay, equal rights, and equal treatment, we're still stuck in the same "one step forward, two steps back" dance our country has perfected.

Personally, I just think no one feels comfortable talking about it.

Granted, I'm not a Rush Limbaugh listener, nor am I a Hannity & Colmes or Bill O' Reilly connoisseur, so I might have missed their terribly insightful rampages on the topic.

But from what I can tell, it seems as though the pundits are skirting around what I think is the big elephant (no, not that one) in the voting booth.

Will this country be able to elect a black president? or a female president?

Some might say that Obama's winning streak indicates that yes it's going to happen. And with Hillary still maintaining some steam that it might just be possible. But quite frankly, it's really not that surprising that in a male-dominated society that a black man is beating a woman (even though she's pretty dang white). Or, in a race-driven society that a privileged white woman is still in the race.

So I must say that I'm extremely curious to see what happens when the mano e mano (or womano) race is on. Will it bring out all the closet racists (or sexists) in our country? Will we begin to address what I believe people, pundits, and parents need to be open and free to talk about?

That we all have race and gender biases that affect how we live, how we react to others, and how we raise our kids.

Why is it so surprising that it might affect who we deem worthy to be our president?

Never Give Up

The only reason I know motherhood is hard is because I've done it once before. Otherwise, I might have been sitting in complete darkness, holding a fussy and still-stuffy one-year-old while bawling my eyes out and saying to myself "what have I gotten myself into?"

The only difference now is that I know what I've gotten myself into so I don't have a really great excuse for crying anymore.

It's been a harrowing week of travel, illness, restlessness, allergic reactions to crib mattresses (cripey!), more travel, and more illness. Like a drug, the highs of seeing friends and my own mother last only momentarily and then I come crashing back to reality -- a sick husband, a mischievous and snot-infested toddler, a sweet but extremely loquacious three-year-old that appears to be incredibly bored, and an impending pregnancy that has only yet caused me to want to puke and weep.

Sometimes at the same exact time.

I try to enjoy this ride with these tiny precious children because I know it will be over all too soon. My daughter won't ask to be cuddled and held. My son won't be around for me to clean up after. And in some weird way, when I drag myself out of bed for the third time to let him chew on my nipple and pull on my hair, the knowledge that this time won't last forever consoles me.

And no matter how hard it gets, I can rest assured that I won't ever give up. It's the creed of mothers everywhere. It's the one constant in our everchanging state of being.

They can wake us up ten times a night, talk us 'til we're blue in the face, and tell us they hate us or don't want us anymore, and we'll still look them straight in the eye and tell them we love them.

Every single time.

And I take comfort in knowing that that's the one thing about this crazy job that will never ever change.

Okay. So this is really why I went to back into the fire.

Forget the yummy babies (helloooo Deb makes cute shirts). Look at that ass!

What you missed:

A bunch of posts about my in-laws.

Vaccines -- Political Issue?

Shocker of the Week: Breastfeeding mom asked to leave NY State Museum (Seriously, when did NY start to hate on boobies?).

Pick of the Week: Can you believe that these are back?

Blog Blast Today: Violin or Microscope. Which will it be? (and a great resource for parents)

Did you enter my Julian & Co. Giveaway yet? Hellloooooo.

And in a totally unrelated note, what is with this new movie 10,000 BC? I mean, were there actually people back then? And if so, I'm betting they didn't have much to say, at least that I would understand. I suppose that's the perfect movie to make during a writer's strike (heh).