Motherhood Uncensored

Dangerous Admissions

Questionable items I have purposely given my son to occupy him so that I can get just one more minute of peace, dinner, blogs, and/or pee:

- My lollipop condoms (someone has a picture of that -- feel free to out me)

- A large bat-like vacuum cleaner attachment

- A tube of Boudreaux's Butt Creme

- A granola bar wrapper

- A box of Tampax tampons (since they're not good for anything else)

- A maxi pad, courtesy of LawyerMama

- chopsticks

And you?

Busted

"I'm going to write Daddy a letter and tell him that you put Drew in his crib and let him cry and that you were a mean mommy. Now go say sorry."

Apparently I'm Not the Only One Who Thinks the Vacuuming is a Bit Much

"I'm Cinderella and you're the stepmother..."

*the huz laughs heartily, then asks who he is*

"Helper Gay Man, daddy"

*I'm still laughing*

[we don't know who helper gay man is, but I'm thinking he needs a really nice t-shirt]

I Couldn't Sum 3 Years Old Up Better Myself

*Singing phone number to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle* "456-409-666 Yes That's Me."

You Can Take Away My His and Hers Vanities, My New Bedroom Set, and My Shiny Hardwood Floors

But my Bravo? Did you have to take away my Bravo?

Woe is me, people.