Would it Bother You?

If your husband had a divorced female friend (never dated) who you have never met, that he talks to regularly on the phone and text, even though she once, last year, drunk dialed him and left a voice mail that I heard to the effect of "I miss you so much, I wish we could talk more, I miss how our friendship was..." (um, PS, he's married now!) and you were pissed, but he still talked to her, and she left him a cheezy "Happy Thanksgiving, Don't eat too much turkey and get a tummy [yes tummy] ache" text.

If your husband is home for the weekend and it feels almost exactly like you're home by yourself with the kids (like you are all week), except there are decidedly more dishes to do and you got to sleep in until 7:30am (but then he went back to bed until 10:30am) and you got a free kidless hour in Marshalls on a Saturday afternoon.

Comments

[MOMX2]

So, I'm sure everyone wants to know...Whatever happened with this situation? Was this the first time it happened?

I read your posts all the time, I think you are such a great writer! When I read this I had to wright a post. Why does he talk to her on the phone on a reg. basis? I hope all works out!

[Submommy]

I know you've received a lot of comments on this one, but to answer your initial question - yes. Hell Yes. Here's what you do: Call her personally. Invite her over to your house for dinner. Say something to the effect of "Hubby speaks so highly of you, I'd love to meet you and hve you meet OUR CHILDREN. Why don't you join us for dinner, say 6:00 on Friday?" Home court advantage, makes her uncomfortable (what you want here) and you position yourself as the Alpha Chick. THE WIFE. If she can't be friends with BOTH of you - she can disappear. Pronto.

[QuicheLorraine]

When I was single I had a best friend who was a straight single male. We lived 4 doors down from each other, went to each other's family events, and hung out constantly. When he met and subsequently married his wife that came to a screeching halt. When I married we tried to double date but I get a distinct sense of chilliness from my buddy's wife. Although I miss his friendship, and there was nothing remotely sexual about our relationship, she obviously does not feel comfortable around me and I care enough to respect his priorities. The rare emails we exhange, we're talking every year or so, I write them as if his wife is reading them first or over his shoulder. I'm 5 months pregnant and hope that will diffuse it a little more.

[Alyssa]

OMG!! YES YES YES I'd be bothered by it!

[Fairly Odd Mother]

I'm with most everyone else. It would bother the heck out of me, and I'd want it stopped now. Any girl who leaves flirty drunken messages on a married man's phone is looking for something she shouldn't get.

[canape]

Yep. It would bother me.

Bother. Not threaten.

[jessicab]

It would definitely bother me. I am with some of the others in that it doesn't mean he is up to no good but sounds like she is. Where does she get off thinking it is appropriate texting a married man. She doesn't have respect for your marriage, and he should put a stop to it.

[Jennifer]

If he's openly showing you these items, then it's not likely he's doing anything physical with her. However, emotional flirtations can take time/attention away from his family and leave you feeling hurt. It's also leading this other woman on to imply that he may take action on them later which is just not right to either of you.
This isn't high school, there's a family on the line.

[Lindsay]

I am not a jealous person, and I trust my husband completely so I'm probably not the best person to ask.. But, if there is nothing going on other than some texts and calls that are stroking his ego and making him feel hot to trot use that energy and turn it around to be about you and f* his brains out. hee. Just like when a nude photo gets him all hot and bothered and can be used to your advantage. As long as he's not acting on anything, I don't see a problem with it as long as he knows just how good he has it at home. As long as he's getting attention and such at home, why would he need to get it elsewhere? Maybe after he gets a text from her, send him a nude text message of yourself? hee. Sorry, I am not helping at all, am I?

[Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You]

As a wife of a man who has had a few online "flirtations", I now make it my business to become friendly with any females that he becomes friendly with. Of course, that's because I'm a snarky bitch who isn't going to let that whole thing happen *AGAIN*. :)*smiles politely... yeah ok*

I know alot of people have chimed in, but I also have to say - if it were YOU with the male friend who was texting and calling, what would his reaction be? If he wouldn't give a shit, then seriously - why ARE you together (other than convenience HA! LOL)

I'm with Meg at this point.

[JM]

As a man, I'll just ditto everything that Aaron said earlier.

But I'll also add this. You guys are going to have to figure out a way to spend some real one-on-one time together to build up your marriage. I'd say at least 15 to 20 hours a week. As it is, your marriage is starving for time. Even if you do confront him about this and he does break off all contact with her, it will solve nothing if you don't make your marriage stronger. The only way to do that is with time.

Check out this web site. It's been very helpful to me and many others over the years.

http://marriagebuilders.com/

[Manic Mommy]

Oh such a resounding yes, it would bother me. I agree with the transparency issue though. He doesn't appear to be hiding anything and her texts aren't veiled; they're flirty. She's just letting him know it's out there if he wants it.

Does he know how you feel?

[Secret Mom Thoughts]

It would piss me off. Sorry you are going through this.

[angie]

I'm sorry but that sounds like an affair, or about to be an affair. Definitely needs to cut her off.

[caramama]

Oh, I really like Hyphen Mama's comment. I stand by if it was a guy doing this, would you feel weird/disrespected/whatever. But I've been thinking about during the day, and I do think she is disrespecting you, and I don't tolerate that in my husband's friends, guy or girl (and that issue has come up for us, and he handled it after we talked about it).

I really like Hyphen Mama's idea of answering the phone or texting her back. It is your husband's place to tell her how she is stepping out of line, but it can't hurt to make yourself more apparent to her. Personally, I would tell my husband I wanted to do this (answer phone) so he'd know I was going to, and if he had a problem with it, then I would really go off.

Sorry to comment again! Good luck!

[Ginny]

It would bother me & I don't think I'd allow it. I would tell hubby that the relationship has gone a bit too far & it needed to end if he wanted to keep his marriage. Good luck!

[Hyphen Mama]

Bother me? My freaking head would blow off!! I fully trust my DH who spends 4-5 nights a week staying in hotels, often times with female first officers. I'm with midubose and all the other commenters.

Unless she's 13, she should know that disrespecting you, your children and your marriage are deal breakers in this *friendship*.

I just ran this scenario past my own DH and his mouth dropped and said "It's his responsibility to put a stop to it."

What do you suppose she would do if you texted her back "Hey, Kristen here... I won't let him eat too much. We have too much sex to have later, don't want him to fall asleep OR have a tummy ache!" Or if you answer the phone next time "Hey, he's in the shower right now, what's up?"

Does she think he's not tellling you about the calls/texts?

I just can't get past the disrespectful part of it all. Maybe they do have a great friendship, too bad it's being muddied by the DISRESPECT of you. If she loves him with no strings attached, she should love you and your kids and would break her neck to get to meet you all.

[caramama]

Here's what I do/would do... Replace each scenerio with it being a man instead of a woman. Is it still weird? Is it interferring in your relationship? Does it seem odd for just a friendship?

I believe that men can be friends with women in completely platonic ways, and as a wife it does not/would not bother me that my husband has friends (men or women) who he talks with and texts. And my husband is a phone talker, so it's not weird that some men talk on the phone with friends.

But I have met all of his friends, so that part would probably bother me, especially if I hadn't even talked to them over the phone. The drink-and-dial would bother me a bit too.

What would really piss me off is feeling like I was still by myself except with more work to do when he got home. I hope you can talk to him about this stuff and come up with a way that gives you the breaks you need!

[Devan]

YES it would bother me!

[BOSSY]

Bossy is beyond bothered. She is derehtob.

[Kvetch]

Oh yes. This should bother you. This woman is obviously needy. And what she NEEDS is to go be needy somewhere else.

Even if your hubz was home 24/7 washing your feet, this would still be wrong. And as your hubz, it is HIS responsibility to end it. She doesn't give a $hit about you or your kids.

[mamatulip]

Yup. It would bother me.

[the new girl]

You probably already know my take. I think it's his responsiblity, not hers, to make you feel comfortable if this is really *just* a friendship and not some juvenile, misdirected, selfish way for him to stroke his own ego or feel *excited* and *desirable*. It is his also responsibility to put a final stop to it if it is the latter.

Some kid-free time is in order as well.

That is all.

[end pontificating.]

[Jen]

1. It would bother me that I never met her. That being said, my best friend is a man - he's straight, single and he's awesome. My husband refers to him as his "stunt double" or "2" (as in 2nd husband). The reason it doesn't bother the Hubs is becuase my friendship with 2 is pretty transparent. I think that's the key factor. Of course, the friendship that I have with "2" has it's little inside jokes and knowing glances - but I have those with my girlfriends - it comes with the territory of of a close relationship. Also - Kristen - with texts - atleast with my cell - i can never tell if it's a mass text message or a personal one. So - maybe she's not just texting him specifically with the tummy ache message.

2. When you're primary care giver - it sucks - but it's reality. To your defense - you have every right to be bothered by reality. You really have to understand what your expectations are of your relationship when he comes home. If you have your sights set on some whirlwind weekend where you two knock boots like crazy, go on dates, and he takes the kids for hours on end...then you're setting yourself up for disappoinment. Ya know?

[Rita]

Oh, and names are changed in my comment to protect the insane and so it doesn't start up again--just in case.

(And sorry the comment's so long. It was longer, but I cut out tons of psycho happenings for your sanity and mine.)

Have a good night's sleep!

[Rita]

About as much as my husband having a previously-close (not so much nowadays because of some of these following things) and MARRIED female friend who suddenly, when we got engaged, began calling him, emailing him, and sending him things when she hadn't done much of that in recent years. Then she played footsie with him under the table when we met with her and her husband when we were all near where they went to college (first and ONLY time I'd met them). Oh, and then she asked if I'd mind if my then-fiance would go sit by her and I'd sit by her husband in the booths so she wouldn't have to kick my fiance so much under the table anymore. She also glared at me whenever my fiance put his arm around me or kissed my head, and made a point to tell me every time they had done something together when they were friends. Then when he realized what was going on and told her that he wasn't going to be a party to this (she was married and he had told her a LONG time before that he had no feelings for her when she had previously asked him out), she emailed him ten times at all three of his emails (including work) to plead with him, mailed stuff to his parents for them to pass on to him, emailed his best male friend (that she is not friends with, getting the email from a mass mailing he'd sent to announce something important) to please talk to him about talking to her again, and pretended to be someone else on his blog to get him to talk to her. (The freaky stalker-like stuff was over the course of a little over a year and a half, from when we got engaged to almost a year after we got married. We finally told her to desist, as we considered it harassment.)

Oh, wait...I guess that WOULD upset me, too.

I expressed my feelings about it, making sure I had solid reasons for feeling the way I did. (By the way, you DO have solid reasons. Those things are flipping weird.) Then we met her and her husband that day to hang out and eat: He saw that she acted strangely with his own eyes and couldn't deny it any longer. If he had denied it, I wouldn't be with him any longer. I wasn't going to play a back-and-forth, who-does-he-like-more game with this woman.

I hope it helps to know that so many other people find it strange and a bit unnerving too, though. When I was going through this stuff, I asked a couple friends to make sure I wasn't overreacting to anything. I got pretty much the same response you're getting. "Hell, yeah, that'd bother me! Nip it in the bud, NOW!" *chuckles* Good luck with everything.

[alicia]

That man is cheating. Plain and simple cheating. You can't sugar coat it and you can't bury your head in the sand. He is putting a relationship with another woman above his relationship with this wife. If the relationship were to continue for another minute, I would kick him out and file for divorce (or a concealed weapons permit).

[Veronica]

Quick*** not quite. Ugh, I need to proofread before I press post.

[Veronica]

Ah yep it would bother me and yep I would be pissed.

Doesn't necessarily mean he is up to mischief, but I think he may need a quite priority update.

[Melissa P.]

I agree with the comment above.
The bitch is dangerous.
It is time for this to stop between them.
He is not a single man, though he acts like it alot.
He is married and you deserve his respect.
You do not respect your wife and text another woman and take calls from another woman especially on the short time he has at home.
It should be you, him and the kids period when he is home.
The short time he is. Not carrying on with his "girlfriend".
What is his problem?
You need to nip this in the bud for them.
Show him your blog and how we all agree with you, not him.
He does not show you any respect
when doing this at all.
He acts like a single guy having fun.

[Arkie Mama]

Sounds like Little Miss Twinkle Fingers is a bit too involved, if you ask me. In other words, she doesn't just overstep her boundaries, but hurdles them.

Red flag. Red flag.

Yeah, it would bother me. Especially if he's reading those witty *snort* text messages while you're doing the dishes.

[margalit]

Would it bother me? That's putting it mildly. I'd be apeshit if I knew my husband was texting and emailing an "ex" that often. Because really, it isn't like they're catching up...it's like they're a bit more than Just Friends.

I have to agree with the other posters that say that most of what you say your husband does bothers me. I just wouldn't tolerate the crap he puts you through. It sounds like he doesn't respect who you are, doesn't care how overworked you are, and isn't invested in your relationship at all. You sacrifice all for him, but he can't even get up to help with the kids? Um..that would drive me nuts.

[mom101]

Don't like any of it. Not the texting, not the dishes. Your relationships evolve when you get married and sometimes you have to say buh-bye to the flirty divorcees.

Schmuck.

[celebrate woo-woo]

Yep, it would all bother me, and in fact, it did bother me.

I was in a marriage very much like that (except mine wouldn't clean up anything or help with the kids, and I was working full-time outside the home, too), and that marriage ended when he refused do anything to change the situation (counseling, being open about the relationship with the woman, having her call me and confirm his side of the story). I explained to him that there is no reason for him to have a friendship so close that it involves more phone calls and texts to her than to me and me not know anything about her, even that she exists; I told him that even if it was only a friendship to him, she wanted it to be more. In my situation, though, I didn't find out about her until after he told me he didn't think things were working in our relationship...but, he said, not because of anyone else. Yeah, well, about 11 months after I found out about their "friendship" (as he swore to me over and over it was nothing more), they had a daughter. I also remember feeling like a single mother months before he moved out because he went to work before I got home and didn't get home until after I left during the week and weekends involved very little family or alone time. I did try a couple times to get in touch with the other woman after I discovered their relationship, but she never returned my calls until things started going sour with her and my ex; then she blew up my phone calling and calling and calling (I don't answer blocked or unknown numbers) until I finally answered.

I'm sorry you're having to go through this in any way, shape, or form, and I would never suggest you assume that your situation is anything like mine, but I think hearing how things were for me should help you justify your being bothered by what he's doing, both to you and to your husband.

[Mrs. Chicky]

Would this bother me? Uh, yeah. End of story. No need to elaborate.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

And Bill I agree. I was fine with them actually until the whole drunk dial thing. That's just uncalled for.

And if I were her, I'd want to talk to me to clear things up -- just be like "hey, I'm sorry, I was drunk, it was stupid..." -- I think it's odd that he has a friend that I have never ever met or talked to or really know nothing about.

Okay. I'm going to bed now.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

You know. She does most of the texting and calling (I have seen his phone). But the thing is, if she calls, he talks to her. And I have no idea what they talk about. Which is why I think I'm weirded out by it. It's like she hasn't acknowledged that he's married with two kids (my huz went to high school with her ex -- then they kept in touch). Long story... bla bla bla.

As for the second thing, I should clarify that the huz does stuff when he comes home -- like vacuum the floors and walk the dogs. I just want a break from the kids. So, best for me to be vocal about that and say "I need a break from the kids."

He does tend to follow through pretty well when I say what I need.

[jenn]

Yeah, it would totally bother me. I am typically not the jealous type, but it just seems like something is "off" in this situation.

(and really? What the hell kind of grown woman uses the word "tummy" in regards to a grown man? Yuck.)

[Christina]

I'll agree that you have a right to be upset. Honesty and transparency are so important in situations like this. You should know everything about the situation from your husband, so there is no room to question what's going on.

If she's leaving messages like that, and he continues to talk to her, he's clearly not respecting you and your marriage. Especially if he knows you're upset by it. And choosing to be "off duty" when home on the weekends further shows a lack of respect.

I think you need to lay it all on the line soon, either agreeing to work on your problems as a couple, or consider that the relationship isn't viable. Due to some big problems that popped up less than a year before our wedding, Aaron and I sought out counseling before we decided to go through with getting married. It was one of the most important things we ever did.

E-mail or find me on gmail chat if you ever want to talk.

[Bill]

If I were talking/texting to a woman - even if it were innocent - and my wife were pissed about it, then it's my obligation to reassure her that nothing is going on. That might mean stopping the contact with the other woman, or it might mean introducing them if that would work.

I have to question the reason for being that close to another woman you haven't met. All my close friends are women, but they've all met my wife early on in our friendship, and most have ended up good friends with my wife too. And none were long-distance. Any "private" friendships would have felt too guilty. That's a bit of a thrill, feeling like someone else might want him besides you. Especially since someone on the phone/text won't appear to have any "normal person" problems. Did I just say you have problems? Sorry... :)

I'd definitely want the situation to change.

[mandy]

This one evokes so much emotion in me, I had to post. If a woman ever texted my husband anything remotely personal, or involving the word "tummy" not only would I be upset, all He** would break loose around here. I am dead serious.

Secondly, when my dh is "off work" he is on daddy duty. It is not because I act like a jerk (unless I need to) but he just enjoys being with the kids that much. He lets me sleep in nearly every morning he is home. He knows how rough our job is and that we get no time off. We also agreed to allow each other some time away from the house. Meaning, I won't b*tch if he goes to a game, and he won't if I go to the mall all day with a friend. It has added a lot for me, something to look forward to and a great break.

Counseling sounds like it may be helpful. I just can't see you as the type of woman who would let someone treat her that way. I would be very scared if I were him. Best of luck though.

[Nicole]

Let me start off by saying I am a fence sitter: I am quite happy with splinters up my butt.

The first part is (which I think others have been getting at as well): Do you trust him? That is for you to answer, and no one else.

The second part is, regardless of whether you are correct in being pissed off, he needs to take your feelings into consideration. And you need to ask yourself if he is. If he isn't, you need to talk to him about that, and how it makes you feel.

IMHO. And nothing more than my opinion. You can take it or leave it; do what you need to do.

[Aaron]

As a married guy, and one with a questionable past to boot, let me just chime in with a "hell yeah."

Once you get married, you have an obligation to not only not be up to anything with someone other than your wife - but you have an obligation to eliminate even the appearance of something shady.

So yeah, you've got a right to be upset with him.

[Suebob]

This is pretty blunt but it sounds like maybe he is as tired of you as you are of him. I really hope you can get some counseling and keep it together so that you can be happy and free from all this anger. It sounds like you both deserve better than you have been giving each other.

[Awesome Mom]

um yeah

[Amy]

I am not a jealous type, and I have the utmost faith that my husband would never be disloyal to me. And I have to say that if he was regularly texting a woman, it would freak me the fuck out. Especially if I'd never met her. That's just weird. I have always had guy friends and that's never been a problem, but I have no guy friends who would tell me they missed me or send me regular text messages. That's just not appropriate, and I'm not even a prude.

[misshawk]

Yes, it would bother me A LOT but like someone else said, everything your husband does would bother me. I agree with the first poster in that I can never figure out why you're still married to this man! You deserve so much better. I totally don't mean to be a downer, but really, where does it end?

Regardless of what is or isn't happening with this woman, there are certain things you refrain from doing once you're married based on what it may APPEAR to be to someone else. Ditto the last post - this bitch is dangerous!!

[Heather]

Yes that would probably bother me. I'd have a talk with my hubby about it though and let him know that it bothers me. If he didn't cut her off, THEN I'd be mad.

[Meg]

I don't understand why you're married to this man. You don't trust him (and it seems like he's giving you reasons to worry), you aren't partners with him. If he doesn't help you with the kids, you resent him sleeping in. If he does, you resent him being the "fun parent" while you're the daily-chores one. He acts like he's single when he does come home. You don't have fun together. I don't remember the last post that was something he said that made you laugh, or something fun you did together.

Maybe you really get along 90% of the time, but you use the blog to vent about the other 10%? But I have no idea why you're even together.

[Michelle]

I feel good that he isn't hiding the texts, vm, etc... but still YES it would bug the hell out of me.
And I don't know why it's always MORE work, not less when they are around. I just resort to it just being more messy while he's home. Then we are back to our regular lives when he's gone :)

[Big Momma Pimpalishisness With A Cherry On Top]

Yes. Yes it would.

[Mrs. Chicken]

Oh yes. A lot. And I have also been through it. My husband typically has very close friendships with women. It was a major issue in our relationship for YEARS. Email me anytime.

[ImpostorMom]

absolutely
and
oh hell yes

[Stacey]

I wouldn't in general be bothered by the friendship. I have guy friends from my former work who are married & I've only met one of their wives. I occasionally email them or text them, sometimes we meet for lunch. Not a regular thing. I don't think I've spoken to any of them in a couple months come to think of it. So it wouldn't bother me that my husband had a female friend of the same sort. However the drunk message on the phone would cross the line for me. You don't call casual platonic members of the opposite sex when you are drunk, you call people you are interested in.

The second issue would not & does not fly in our house. I told my husband "you will interact with me & the kids or you may as well not come home at all." He gets pissy sometimes because he's 'been working all week' but the lack of clean clothes when he leaves usually gets me an apology.

[Felicia]

yeah that would totally piss me off. It sounds like you guys have had a rough year. I like the advice from the firt post, get some help, even it is just an hour or two a week. Maybe even see if you can sneak a babysitter, so you guys can reconnect. It sounds like you need that. Are you still having sex with each other? Are you enjoying it?

You should call her and be like, hey! I just wanted to chat, because we have never meet, etc etc. See what happens.

Good Luck

[Fern]

Yes, both those things would bother me. A lot. So would pretty much every other thing you've ever posted about your husband. Why is this female friend so important to him that he needs to keep in contact with her even though her messages supposedly annoy him, and even though the contact bothers his wife?

[Lee]

Yeah, I'd be annoyed about the "friend".
That said, it sounds like you are both under a lot of stress right now. I can't begin to imagine what it is like to be away from your family and the comforts of home all week. I can however imagine what it is like being "trapped" at home with 2 kids under 4.
My advice? Get help! I don't mean a shrink or marriage counseling, I mean someone to come in for a few hours a few times to a week just to give you a break and maybe wash the dishes. Think a high school kid who needs extra $ for Christmas. That way when he comes home you'll be in better spirits and maybe the two of you can enjoy one another. Take care of you and the rest will take care of itself.

[jodi]

um, yes,a lot.

[Karen]

Yep. It would bother me.

[Amy]

I don't necessarily think that your husband is doing anything wrong, but it sounds like his "friend" is. Grown women don't say things like that to grown men unless they are (or want to be) intimate with them.

As for the feeling like you don't have any help, even when he's home, he sees it as being "off" which means he doesn't have to work.

You need to disabuse him of this notion. Mommies don't get days off, neither do daddies.

[mldubose]

Call me old-fashioned, but if you yourself had a guy friend (just friends), and he had a lady in his life (especially a friggin' WIFE), you would know that things might be a bit different with your friendship. There's sortof an unspoken "let her know you're not a threat" and "don't invade their lines of communication" set of rules. And you might even send the nice gift with a "can't wait to meet you" note when they got married. Even if she lived in Kenya. Or the token baby gift with the "boy the kid is lucky he takes after his mom!" card attached. Or is she too much of a bar-trash-coke-whore to know anything about that kinda stuff.

I have to wonder if all of those text messages and calls are about the kids' teething and preschool issues. What would they have to talk about? If she's talking about dating stuff, doesn't she have someone closer to talk to?

Men and women friendships are very different. Unless he's gay, you don't call him all the time and tell him about your new haircut or that cute boy or new outfit.

Besides, men don't like all that constant chatter (phone, text, etc.). They only tolerate it from a woman they feel like they owe. A wife. A mistress. A woman who has dirt on them. A mentally ill sister.

And don't think she wouldn't play the innocent one if it all came down to it. Portraying you to be the crazy, possessive wife who keeps him on a short leash.

She's a problem.

[Kristen]

She lives far away. So we've never had the chance to meet.

But it still feels weird to me, you know?

[Liz]

Yeeeahhh...
My husband had an ex like this. It was not cool. Caused a lot of strife for the first couple of years of our relationship before we sorted it all out.

For us, it was really important that I not be kept "separate" from this person, because keeping her away from me just made it more suspect.

Oh, and the extra dishes thing... not cool. Today, hubby was obviously home so I (luxury of luxuries) went to the grocery store by myself. Got back, the kids had napped the whole time. So he decided to take a shower. At which point both babies woke up and wanted to eat. Awesome. So not different from a weekday.

[mldubose]

Sorry, this is bugging me.

Why haven't you met her?

It's not that he's necessarily the bad guy, but you know women. There's no trophy like a married guy you've successfully pulled away from a couple of kids.

If she's all on the up & up, why doesn't she get to know you better? Call the house and chat with you and ask about the kids and such? Just outta respect you know?

This is gonna bug me all night. Sorry again.

[mldubose]

And oh, YES! It would bother me.

And NO, you're not being one of "those" women who thinks if he holds his fork funny at dinner that it means he thinks you're fat.

[mldubose]

The bitch is dangerous.