It has become very clear to me that people should not drive while talking on their cell phones. Except me, of course. And moms of the same persuasion. Because moms can process two screaming kids, driving a car, and shoving some sort of weird flattened sandwich and carrot sticks in their mouth all while chatting with a friend about their day.
Okay, so maybe that's not the safest thing to do. But at least I realize it, unlike at least four drivers we passed today who were driving in the left lane at least 10 miles under the speed limit all yapping away on their phones.
Are people not familiar with "hands-free?" Maybe they think a blue tooth is sign that you have some kind of disease down here.
"Wut. You got a balew tooth? Aw shiyit man. That's bayad."
Honestly, I have no problem with people talking to their 6,000 friends on their cell phones in their cars. And I love a good opportunity to use my horn. Plus, I get that people move a little slower down here. There's no reason to rush, right? Enjoy your deep conversation on a busy 12 lane highway in heavy traffic.
But just do us all a favor and do it in the RIGHT FUCKING LANE.
Reading the comments was as fun as reading the post. Did you know a rant could turn out to be so inspiring? Snort.
Posted by: Daisy | December 26, 2007 at 04:16 PM
Personally, I HATE people going slow in the left lane. Haven't these people ever seen the signs that say "Slower traffic keep right"?!?!?! People do this regardless of whether or not they are on the cell phone, and it's one of my pet peeves.
Don't get me started on people who chat on the phone in restaurants and everywhere else with no respect to the people around them. I'm related to some, and they drive me crazy.
Posted by: caramama | December 26, 2007 at 02:49 PM
While, we are at it can we ban people talking on their phones in the restrooms, in the check out line, ordering food, in the middle of the aisle at the store or any other damn place I need to get to.
I would really like to know what is so important that everyone has to talk to everyone else right now. The worst part is I live with one of these people and I haven't killed him, yet. Although, I have walked away from him and left him to find his way home.
Posted by: Wendy | December 24, 2007 at 10:45 AM
I don't like them going slow in the fast lane while chatting on the phone, but I really hate the ones who can't stay in their lane while talking on the phone. They're the really scary ones. I've nearly been sideswiped countless times by "drifters".
Posted by: Christina | December 24, 2007 at 09:41 AM
I want to install a big-rig horn in my Mini cooper for times like that.
Posted by: creative-type dad | December 23, 2007 at 10:11 PM
I've never understood the whole decorate the car thing.
The kids and I literally avoided an accident yesterday by the skin of our teeth. I used my cell while driving to bitch the guy out (his company truck had the # on it) after his loose garbage can flew out on the interstate at 80 mph and hit my hood. If we had been in a smalled car, it would have hit the windshield. It dented my hood but I count myself lucky to be here!
Posted by: liz brabson | December 23, 2007 at 05:56 PM
You know what's pathetic is that men usually get charged higher auto insurance premiums. Sure, a few of them may drive fast, but I think women are the biggest threat. And I don't mean the terrific mom who can break up a fight in the back seat, pick up a stray pacifier off the floor, and eat breakfast while driving without even a slight swerve.
I'm talking about the brainless twerps who have to yak about their manicures and pubic hair waxes while driving those land- barge SUVs.
But you know if these dumb broads weren't on cellphones, they'd still be bad drivers. That's ultimately the issue.
Posted by: Michelle | December 23, 2007 at 05:19 PM
It can't be as bad as the taxi drivers here doing it, only going 20 miles ABOVE the speed limit. In all lanes at once.
Posted by: Mom101 | December 23, 2007 at 08:33 AM
I don't see guys in pickups talking on their cell phones near as much as I do from moms driving their white Suburbans. And they don't pay any attention to what they are doing half the time.
Posted by: JM | December 23, 2007 at 01:05 AM
I almost got killed while driving today because of the same crap. Some woman in the oncoming lane of traffic was talking on her phone and then TURNED onto a cross street in front of me. I slammed on my brakes, slammed on the horn and said fifty Hail Mary's.
It was either that or follow the bitch and run her down. But being so close to Christmas I figured the guy up stairs (or the guy at the "North Paw") wouldn't be very happy about that.
Posted by: Dana | December 23, 2007 at 12:01 AM
As someone that drove through Atlanta traffic today on my way to Chattanooga. I can tell you there were plenty of idiots out today.
Oh, and I hate people. Just so you know. :)
Posted by: ImpostorMom | December 22, 2007 at 10:37 PM
I also love a good, justifiable excuse to use my horn.
Posted by: Jean | December 22, 2007 at 10:22 PM
Amen.
Have you seen the cars with the antlers they stick out the side windows & the red nose on the grill? If that deco isn't ridiculous enough...today I saw some old man driving a mini-van with actual Christmas lights INSIDE & ON!!! WTF?
It will be a cold Christmas in hell when I decorate my car. (Actually, do they celebrate Christmas in hell?)
Posted by: FENICLE | December 22, 2007 at 09:14 PM