My [diva] Cup Runneth Over

I admit that after spending damn near close to what I think a new vagina might cost me on a variety of tampons and other personal purse accessories last week, I was almost looking forward to trying the Diva Cup.

Maybe it was because I too wanted to be a member of this secret society of divas, where together we could proclaim in solidarity "I've got a cup up my whacker. Word to your menstruatin' mamas" and engage in our secret society handshake.

Or really a fold and shove, vigorous handwashing, and then handshake.

I wanted to sing the tampon freedom song of Divas Across the World (thanks to Clare from Alaska on their website for this anthem):

Because of this Diva I don,
I am no longer a slave to the 'pon
It fills me with glee,
To know that I'm free,
And saving this world we live on.

I go through my day with ease,
There is no string there to tease,
It catches it all,
Before it does fall,
I now live without boundaries.

So now when I go to the John,
There's nothing for me to check on!
And it is so great,
To know that my fate,
Is not in a Kotex nap'kon.

Diva must have come from the gods,
I think they have the best odds,
To have made something great,
That seems so innate,
And all who know share applause!

And I want to wear my fucking Diva pin like all the other divas out there.

But then I saw the actual cup that I would have to stick up my vah-hoo-hoo, along with the directions that involved me folding it strategically and then "not putting it up too far because it might get stuck but it probably won't but if it does don't panic just push down on your stomach muscles [huh?] and then call our toll-free 1800 number [because you know you want to talk to some random operator about a cup stuck up your vagina]," I didn't have the balls to actually try it.

Or is it vulvas? or labia majoras?

See. I don't even know my own body parts. I cannot be trusted to shove a silicone cup correctly into my vagina.

So, I did what any real sorority sister drunk diva out there would do (so not to totally lose my diva pin privileges), and I gave the diva cup the real test.

 

So for alcohol, the Diva Cup gets a thumbs up.

Plus, if you can follow the lengthy directions and actually insert the Diva Cup in it's rightful place, it's sort of like a personal flask (at least the other 23 days out of the month).

(There are an enormous outpouring of positive reviews of The Diva Cup and if you're one with your vagina in an "insert a silicone cup that catches your blood" sort of way, then this might be the invention for you).

[The Great Breast Fest Montage is back up and running. Please view, post, vote, and favorite!]

Comments

[Blah]

I am not sure some of you truly understand menses cups. If you have had several children you may need a diva cup and luna pad for back up. However, these cups cannot get lost or stuck in your body. If you contract your muscles the same way you do when constipated, you can begin to push it out. If you pull the cup while pushing with your muscles it comes out easily. If you do a U shaped fold and insert with a little water on your labia it works just fine. The ridges are there so you can twist the cup to create a "seal." This keeps it from leaking. The cup is easy to use. If you feel pain, you're doing it wrong. I have not had any pain while using this and have had it for nearly a year now. My flow is much heavier than most women (I average about 6 ounces) and this works so well for me. Instead cups leak because they aren't meant for heavy flows and the vagina acts different for us heavier flow women. One thing to consider is the vagina walls thicken and become a little wider during the cycle. Keep this in mind as you find alternatives for your menses.

[Kelly]

I lurv your blog and I don't comment to much but this, this got me! I followed the linkadoo from today's post, what a hysterical suprise. Get this, I never knew there was such a thing! You know what I thought of when I saw the Diva? The medicine cup they give you for free when you purchase the kiddie non-aspirin stuff. Man oh man, I have been enlightened on uses for those little cups now!!! I just used them for extra cups in the kiddies cherry-ho game. Just think the red one from the game would be camouflage...um maybe not!

[anita]

I recently purchased the diva cup and am currently using it (4 days in).

for those who say "ewwww" at the thought of having to get close to their vag, I have this wonderful observation, it's clean!

it's cleaner than bloody pads, than nasty tampons with bloody and urine soaked strings. you don't have to worry about your tampon string contacting fecal bacteria, and it doesn't pop out when you use the bathroom.

I absolutely cannot get over how much cleaner it feels, how I do not feel messy and disgusting, how I do not have the smell of menstrual blood stuck with me.

it's wonderful. it's a little tricky getting the hang of insertion. and it is possible to fold the cup to remove it if you are willing to grab it while it is still in your vagina, in fact I have to do this to prevent discomfort.

I hope that you try it out. think of how liberating it will be to no longer need disposable, bleached and chemically enhanced products dam up your flow!

[jj]

I have tried both the instead cup and the diva cup, I only tried diva cup b/c I couldn't find the instead cups locally anymore.

The instead cups are pretty easy to get and out and painless but you do have some leaks on heavy days (note sure if leak occurs b/c of heavy flow or b/c not inserted perfectly).

The diva cup (model 2) was more difficult to get in, and I could feel it a bit more than the instead cup (once inside), but getting it out down right hurt. To get the diva cup in you have to fold it, but there is no way to fold it before taking it out, so you end up having to pull it out, and the mouth of the diva cup is about 2cm (I Think) and has a ridge. I have not had a child, but I cant imaging that pulling the diva cup doesn't hurt all females (pre and post children), since there is no way to fold it before pulling it out.

The instead cup is in a folded position when you push it is and when you pull it out so it doesn't hurt at all. I prefer these types of cups over pads (feels like a diaper) and tampons (don;t like to think about changing my tampon every couple of hours or the idea of the tampon absobing important bodily fluids), but the diva cup hurts too much when taking it out.

I think the instead cup is the best option thus far and t seems you can get it at drugstore.com.

[Steven Davies]

New vagina...That treatment is very dangerous.
IT may cause bacterial vaginosis.

[Debbie]

I received my DivaCup and and will never go back to anything else! South Coast Shopping (www dot southcoastshopping dot com) has them on sale for only $16.99! Diva Cup Model 1 and Model 2

[Michelle]

And please feel free to delete my comments about this.

[Michelle]

See! I did one too!!! *too* great

[Michelle]

"Plus, if you can follow the lengthy directions and actually insert the Diva Cup in *it's* rightful place, it's sort of like a personal flask (at least the other 23 days out of the month). "

You have one of the few blogs that isn't full of grammatical errors. I know you are sleep deprived and busy as hell, but I just wanted to point this one out so you could correct it. Your blog is to great to be tarnished by an innocent mistake that you would never have ordinarily made.

[Heather]

It brings me an odd sort of comfort that I'm not the only one who immediately thought upon seeing my new cup, "Ooh, look, measurement lines for shots!"

[Marriage-101]

I've been hearing about this for months, and to be honest? I'm scared. I want to try it, but it scares the shit out of me. BUT! I do need a new set of shot glasses (because the drunks in my house tend to break the glass ones)

[Jenn]

HILARIOUS! Do they personalize them for promotional use so you can hadn them out at your next get together as Diva Jello Shots? Great party favors.

*snort*

[Kat]

I found this site when I did a search for "Diva Cup."

I've used a Keeper cup for about 6 years, since right after AF's return, after baby #3 was born. Unfortunately I'm one of those UN-lucky ladies who can BF around the clock and still cycle every month from the get-go.

Anyways, I decided I was tired of the brown rubber thing and wanted to try a Diva. Your blog is the funniest Diva Cup commentary I have seen thus far! Keeper is made by a different company, BTW. And different materials, gum rubber not silicone. Did you know gum rubber has a natural odor that never goes away? It's not *too* bad, but I'm just ready for something different.

As for cup use after many kids:
I have birthed 6 full-term children (I only got to keep 5 of them, but that's another sad tale) and super-plus tampons leaked and fell right out of me after "only" three kids.

I can fill the Keeper cup to overflowing after only 4 hours on my heaviest cycle day, but it doesn't leak otherwise. Kegels are our friends ladies!

Instead cups look too big for me. I got fitted for a diaphragm a few years back, and that thing looks to be about half the size of the Instead cups. Yikes.

I'm hoping to try out the new cup I ordered next cycle, and see how it stacks up against my little brown rubber buddy.

[MommyWithAttitude]

Oh my God that's funny! I tried it, and you know, I was one enough with my vagina to get it up there, but getting it OUT??? Well, a bloody mess it was -- which is fine I guess if you're at HOME, but I wasn't at home... Not good.

[Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You]

Just eww.

[Kind of Crunchy Mama]

Oh come on. Don't be a wuss. Just try it.

[Whitney]

Ok, I am not sure which is funnier, my face when I read about the FREE lapel pin on drugstore.com (is that supposed to be an enticement??)...or the picture of you drinking a shot outta that thing. Comedy. pure. comedy.

[Cassie]

Ok, I'm not gonna go on for too long, but I've been using The Keeper (which is the exact same thing, I think Keeper might have gotten bought out by Diva) for 6 years now. I LOVE IT. LOVE! You fold it in half, push it up there, twist a bit so it opens all the way, then rinse it out in 8 - 12 hours. I've replaced it once in those 6 years, and clean it regularly. I think it averages out to like $5 a year in "feminine hygiene products".

I know, it sounds gross. But I would so much rather put a cup up there to catch the blood and dump it out in my toilet than give myself TSS because I forgot to change the 'pon enough. I even used it in the mountains of Ecuador when I had to use outdoor bathrooms. It was actually easier to clean the keeper than deal with disposing of trash up there.

Anywho... I am a 100% advocate. I got it when I was on my hippie kick in college, and while the dreads are long since cut off, I will never go back to tampons or pads.

[Marie]

Those things creep me out. And now that I see how big it is, there's really no freaking way. Is that the pre-baby or post-baby one?

[notanonymous]

Not to worry, it actually can be done. And if you have the ability to put in tampons, and actually DRINK out of it, you can do it. Just ignore the back of the box and follow the folding instructions on this: http://community.livejournal.com/menstrual_cups/453392.html
I like "the origami" myself. It folds up just as small as a tampon.

And no, it cannot get stuck.

[Mom101]

Did I miss a good bloody mary crack? Sorry...didn't read all the comments.

[Queen of Shake Shake]

Oh look. I have more vaginal smarts than a music professor. I graduated from the Learned How To Stick A Silicone Cup Up My Hooha Class of 2003.

[lora]

If you're still in the market for something like that, try "Instead". It's a little cup that you stick up on your cervix like a diaphram. They're awesome, and you can run and jump and play and do it with no mess, and there is no chance of it getting stuck inside you.
I buy them at Rite Aid and CVS.
Good luck!

[Lady M]

Good God, a multi-purpose cup. Thanks for keeping me in the loop with modern tech - I'm clearly behind the times!

[Monica]

WOO HOO!!! Back up shot glasses... I had heard of that thing, but never actually seen one... so glad I don't really get Aunt Flo very often..

i love my IUD LOL

[Jamie E]

I cannot get tampons or "instead" to work, why oh why would I try this gadget???? My greatest fear is that my jayjay would not be small enough after 4 kids to uphold ye cup.

So on that montage...so, boobs are like attached to us for more than just looks? They actually have a function? :) Great video!

[Asha]

Someone come over here and wipe the spit off my monitor. How do you KEEP surprising us, Kristen?

[Cynthia Samuels]

OK. So we're in a hotel room in LA and we can't sleep and it's 4:30 in the morning here and I start reading this to my husband and I'm laughing so hard that my voice keeps going up and he's laughing so hard he almost falls out of bed. And I say "now do you see what I love her? Isn't she amazing?" And breathless, he struggles out "Yes yes yes." You are beyond wonderful. I think I might frame this one and put it on the wall. Or wear it on a tee shirt. Or at least (right now) post a link to it. May the Force stay with you my girl!

[Fairly Odd Mother]

Well crap, I was waiting to see if the cup worked for you before I went ahead and ordered it. DO IT! My God, if you can drink from it, surely you can shove it where it needs to be. Puh-leezz!!

[the new girl]

OH HELLS NO, YOU DI'INT!

I'm DYINGGGGG OVER HERE.

Dyiiiiiing!

How funny are the fucking 'thumbs up, dude?'

Plus? In the Diva Pin Photo? I TOTALLY see your renegade, fallin' out hair.

Fucking funny, K.

[Gidge]

I think that conceptually I like the idea of the cup, however the idea of reaching up and withdrawing a cup that would then spill and cascade blood and oogey bits all over me in the ladies room......well.....I'm going to pass and continue to strap on the biggest maxi pad I can get my hands on.

[Manic Mommy]

So what's grosser? Insert then shot or shot then insert. Can't be sure but my money says that vodka's gotta sting!

[Helen]

I've had 6 kids, that tiddly little thing would never stay inside me, I think I would need the Vajayjay equivilent of a pint glass, my shot glass days are long gone! I should probably just buy a bucket and be done with it.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Drink out of it after wrestling with it?

Do you think I'm crazy??

[Midwest Mommy]

Oh my gosh! I can't believe you did a shot out of that. Too funny!

[jessicab]

I wish I could get the nerve to try the Diva cup since I also am vahoohaahooly challenged since the birth of #2. I HATE pads but am stuck with them cause I can keep the 'pon in.

[Vicky]

Just try the 'Instead'. It's way less scary.

[The Feminist Breeder]

Oh Kristin.... please tell me you weren't wrestling that thing into your va-hoo-hoo right before you drank out of it. And if so, I reallly hope you washed it, at least.

I dunno..... looks like a decent shot glass, but I'll take the cotten glob-stoppers over that thing any day.

[clumberkim]

I may no longer have the bladder control needed to read your blog.

After reading all the positive reviews I bought one. There it sits in my bathroom drawer. Haven't had a period since it arrived. Diva cup must have scared Aunt Flo away. (I'm not pregnant. I'm seven months post-partum from baby #2 and breastfeeding. Had a period back in Sept after having the Essure procedure. Had another one in October, sort of. They tell me I'm not pregnant. Really.)

[Lori at Spinning Yellow]

Hilarious! I don't comment here much, but had to de-lurk b/c that was just about the funniest thing I've ever seen.

[Bill]

witchiepoo - "it would be good in the tickle trunk" just sounds terrible!

[Christy]

Laughing so hard....too funny!

[Kelly]

Up until I entered Mirena-land, I used a Diva Cup and loved it. I don't know how you could get it stuck in there or lose it - I ended up cutting off the little bottom tab completely after #2 was born since my cervix was just that much lower (um, yay?). Now I'm just waiting for my periods to decide what they wanna do so I can start using it again (hopefully - I hate panty liners).

[mothergoosemouse]

Mmmmmm...vodka.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Diva Jello Shots.

Good one.

[Mark]

Bill I'm with you on that! But I know what I'm taking with me to my next cocktail party. Diva Jello shots! ;-)

[witchypoo]

Also, it would be good in the tickle trunk for dressup. Nothing says great costuming like a tutu, a tiara, and a diva cup stuck on your ear.

[LawyerMama]

Snort.

[Bill]

I'm so glad I'm a guy.

[Angie in Texas]

HOLY SHITE batman! that was a great laugh to start my Monday morning!!! (at least you know the cup is sterilized now . . . take a couple more of those and maybe the liquid courage will give you the extra something you need to actually insert it?

[mldubose]

Is that a "shot" or a "jigger"?

I always break my shot glasses. I even dropped on down in the disposal. I think I just need to add the DivaCup to the liquor cabinet for accurate measuring of the sauce.

Woman, you aren't right. ;-)

I had written YouTube a scathing letter. I never heard back from them. Sissy bastards.

[mommiebear2]

I have heard nothing but good things about the Diva, but I have yet to venture there either.