You Know What They Say About Women With Big Feet Don't You?: Redux With Prizes!

Becky, Amy, and Mike: You have won a pair of shoes. EMAIL ME.

I ventured out to the mall with the family this past weekend. Let's face it. One woman's crappy mall and $2 Carousel is another woman's Jesus, and quite frankly, I have been in need in Jesus. Or at least Jesus in the form of a rotating horse, Mr. Bulkies, and a Chick-fil-a value meal #1.

All was well with the world -- happy toddler, sleeping baby, and fairly unannoying husband until I got this bright idea that since I had lost all this weight now, I might be able to actually wear cool shoes again. You know, ones that aren't hidden in the back of the store on the extra-sale-clearance rack because even though they are only $10 no one wants to buy them.

Hey. They're comfortable! (Isn't that what the old ladies say about their Rockports?). Ack.

Anyway, I walked into Macy's, found some delightful ballet flats and a pair of kick-ass Steve Madden boots, and to my surprise (and much skepticism), they had them in my size.

A 10. Or recovering 10.

Now let me remind you that I'm 5'11" and no matter how big you think my feet are, they are pretty relative to my height. I've gotten the "omg you have such big feet" comments almost my whole life but look here tiny people. It would be really odd to see me wearing a size 6 shoe. In fact, I think I'd fall over. And so yeah, my feet are big. But so am I. You know. We sort of go together. Like Laverne and Shirley. Strawberries and chocolate.

It's tall Kristen and her big feet!

I do admit that in the latter half of my pregnancy, I was unable to wear most of my shoes. I even bought a pair of wides. And, much to my chagrin, I fit into a pair of size 11 Diesel sneakers that just so happened to be on that extra-sale-clearance rack in the back of the store. So sue me. I'll take a pair of Diesel sneaks for $10 any day. At least that's what I told myself as I brought them up to the counter and hid the size from the sales guy.

"These are on the rack back there because of the size, right?" I thought to myself. I mean. God forbid I buy gigantic shoes that are ugly too.

Now I'm not a predjudiced, but I will say I've often thought pretty bad about the size 11. I mean, size 10 is big. But still cool. An 11? Oh man. You must be a giant. And from what I can tell, have absolutely not taste in shoes. Seriously, aren't the most awful looking shoes always an 11? I always felt bad for those people. Until I became one of those people. And then I realized, like clothes sizes, it really doesn't matter so long as they fit and look great.

Stacey and Clinton would be so proud.

So, I try on the shoes at Macy's and except for the one pair of 10's that are too big, everything else is just a little snug. I look at my foot. I look at my baby. I shake my head. And just as I was about to walk away, the chipper salesguy reappears.

"How did they work for you?" he asks, rubbing his hands together as if he thought I was about to buy four pairs of shoes.

I sigh.

"Well. I love the boots, but they're a little snug. Do you have them in an 11?" I asked, boldly going where few women have gone before.

Suddenly, the little man becomes oddly somber and leans into me speaking in a weird strained whisper.

"No, we don't have 11's in those," he says, shaking his head.

"And in fact, we don't carry 11's in ANYTHING."

His eyes bulge. He huffs. He grabs the boxes. And walks away.

Um. Okay. Thanks for that humiliation. And PS. Grown men don't huff.

Honestly, I can't say that I wasn't surprised. But was that really necessary? Because he should know better. I mean we all know what women with big feet have (or at least, this big footed woman).

One big post-partum ass to squish little wiry shoe salesmen.

--

Can you figure out what I'm giving away today?

Okay. Don't think too hard. It's SHOES. Yes! Weeeeee. Easy Spirit is offering three MU readers (with big  feet or small feet) a pair of these spiffy clogs ($79 value!). Now I admit to being a bit scared to go into an Easy Spirit store because, well, you know, but after looking through their Fall catalog and realizing I need comfortable shoes but refuse to wear ones that are fugly, I'm all about them!

These are perfect for Fall and clearly a good mix between comfy and stylish without screaming "I'm a mom of two."

So, just leave me a comment (and while you're there, enjoy the lovely sort of hilarious-sort of vurp inducing comments from random googlers with foot fetishes) and I'll pick three winners at random! Only one entry per person per post.

Funny comments get extra consideration (but no extra entry... sorry!).

Check out The Blog Exchange today! My post is here. And check out LMJ for a new design and updates, superhero alteregos included. Mmmmmmmmmm chicken.

Comments

[Bethany]

I am 5'10" and a size ten shoe. I hate shoe shopping with a mad passion. I mostly just wear $3 piece o crap white sneakers from Walmart. I am afraid to take my big ass feet to the mall.

[jaelithe]

It seems like a lot of women posting here wear size 10 or 11 shoes.

Shoe stores are apparently missing a major market.

I went to Old Navy the other day to try to find some size eight jeans, because after many months of not breastfeeding anymore yet still somehow feeling the need to eat as though I were, I have gone up from a size six to a size eight. (Or I should say, rather, my HIPS have gone up to a size eight. My waist has gone from a four to a six. Meanwhile my breasts have gone down a cup size since I stopped nursing. My body parts can never agree on anything, you see).

Old Navy was totally out of size eight in every type of jeans they had (except for a couple of size eight/short pairs, which of course I cannot wear, because I am not short). They were also, I noticed, pretty short on sizes ten and twelve. When I asked a salesman if they had any size eights in their stock room, he very snootily informed me that they did not.

But they had piles upon piles of size zero, one, and two jeans that only 5% of the population can buy.

Why do all of these stores insist on LOSING MONEY stocking their shelves with merchandise only a select few supposedly ideally sized people can wear? It baffles me.

[Lora]

I'm 5'7" and wore a size 10 until I was pregnant and now, even 5 years post-partum, I wear an 11. If you feel the need to try shoes on at a real store, try DSW if you have one near. I have pretty good luck finding cute shoes in gigantic sizes. Another store I have good luck at is Kohl's.

[Brandee]

I have to tell you I am 5'2" and wear a size 10 shoe! This, you would think would make me more stable on my feet, right? My husband calls me grace...

[Chris]

I have it on good authority that grown men do, actually, huff.

Though they're never straight.

But I guess that ship sailed when we were talking about the ladies' shoe salesman.

[Amanda]

Yeah, I think I was a 7.5 in 3rd grade. I remember a guy at The Emporium in Eugene, Oregon saying to me, "You sure may have a woman's size foot, but you don't have a woman's leg." What the fuck? So now, at 5'10" and a size 10 I too face the "Man, your feet are huge" comments to which I feel like saying, "And you look like an undercooked woman-child." I applaud you for shopping, I usually opt to abuse Zappos free shipping and returns.

[Melanie]

You should try Zappos.com. You can filter by size and they have lots of size 11. And you can return them for free, if they don't fit. I stopped even trying to buy size 11 shoes at the store, and just buy them all online now.

[Amy]

My feet didn't get bigger during pregnancy until the birth - when I spent 5 days hooked up to that fucking IV. Wanna make yourself look like an inflatable oaf, get an IV for a week.

I couldn't walk to the car because none of my shoes fit, they had to wheel me out.

A few days later, I needed to go to the store and I had to call one of my friends with bigger feet and have her bring me a pair of shoes to wear. Freaky.

And I have similar issues finding shoes that fit, although I'm on the opposite end. 5'0" tall with a size 6 foot. I tend to find 6.5 and up and no 6. Annoying.

[CharmingBitch]

At least you're pushing 6 foot with a size 10 or 11. I'm not quite 5'4 and prior to pregnancy I was a solid size 10; during the fattiest fat fat fat part of my pregnancy, I was a solid SIZE 12. Finding shoes that fit and didn't attempt to sweat-shrink around my feet and mate with them was almost impossible.

Almost five months later, I'm STILL rocking a size 11 and ever how clown-like size 10 used to make me feel, it was flat out graceful compared to the canoes-for-shoes look I'm sporting now no matter the style.

[JChase]

That was very rude of the salesguy! Why do people have to act that way?

If it helps, it's not always easy to find the cute shoes in smaller sizes either (I range from a 5 1/2 to a 6 1/2 depending on the style).

Here's a site that might help though:
http://www.barefoottess.com/
They carry most styles up to size 14!

And on the other end:
http://www.cinderellaofboston.com/
They only carry sizes 2 - 5 1/2!

Hope that helps!

[GIRLS GONE CHILD]

I'm usually a size 10 but when I had Archer I became an 11... Luckily, my feet shrank back to normal months later but I had a breakdown in the Nordstrom Sale shoe rack when the only shoes I found in a size 11 were New Balance sneakers. I bought them, mourning all the while the good old days of having a big foot, instead of a huge one.(And I'm only 5'8... so at least you're proportioned.)

Sigh. Wanna share shoes?

[GIRLS GONE CHILD]

I'm usually a size 10 but when I had Archer I became an 11... Luckily, my feet shrank back to normal months later but I had a breakdown in the Nordstrom Sale shoe rack when the only shoes I found in a size 11 were New Balance sneakers. I bought them, mourning all the while the good old days of having a big foot, instead of a huge one.(And I'm only 5'8... so at least you're proportioned.)

Sigh. Wanna share shoes?

[Jen]

De-Lurking to say...atleast hot shoes are made in a 10. Wide Widths look almost orthopedic like and I don't even want to know how wide my feet will get when I'm pregnant. SCARY. I may resort to bunny slippers.

[Valbee]

I too am an 11, and I fought it for a long time. I am a much happier person now. Nothing worse than shoes that hurt your feet.

I have less of an issue finding stores that carry 11s but more of an issue finding stores that have 11s in stock! Clearly the group wearing size 11s is growing. Maybe that bodes well for the future selection.

And to Sally whose husband wears the 16... the huffing sales guy is just jealous. ;)

[Stephanie]

I wish I could remember where my grandmother likes to buy shoes. She found out when the shoes were shipped in, as she wears an 11 also. Apparently in her area lots of the women with bigger feet know when the shoes get in, so they buy them up fast.

[jennifer]

First. . .I could totally relate to your posting about the in-laws and your mother running neck and neck in the crazy contest. And even tho' I sent that one to my sister whose crazy in-laws I think could actually take yours down in a steel cage match, THIS is the post that de-lurked me. Go figure. Here's the deal. I'm 5'10" and had always been smug about wearing a relatively dainty size 9 shoe (OK- 9.5). Then I got pregnant with my first and went size 10. After my second. . .SIZE 11. Sadly, I don't think that feet actually shrink back to their former size. Anyway, I have flat feet so I make myself feel better by saying that if I had an arch I'd wear a size 10. Here's what I've learned about buying size 11s. Never wait for a sale(bargain shoes that look good in size 11 are a rare find). Buy at the beginning of the season and then match your clothes to your shoes. Avoid humiliation by ordering your big ass shoes online. Nordstrom, Nine West, J. Jill are all good places. If you must buy shoes at the last minute you are best off at Nordstrom (where sales people are trained to always be polite and they have an amazing amount of instock size 11s).

[rhiannon huang]

Delerking to say I'm a ten...sometimes a 9 and a half, if I wasnt the "cuter" shoe! hehe
And I'm 5'8, The sad part is that my hubby and I wear the same size shoes...and maybe mine might be a little bit bigger!

[Meghan]

The thing is, you probably could use a 10.5, but oh yeah, they pretty much don't MAKE them, because after size 10, you're feet are totally freakish, so why bother?

Mine are wide, and went from a 10 to an 11 after my daughter and I HATE HATE HATE SHOE SHOPPING!!!! Nordstrom and Nordtrom Rack have a wider range of sizes. I have found coach in size 11, and Nine West.
Let's start a letter-writing campaign. We can't be the only amazons in search of cute shoes.

[Bridget]

delurking to chime in on this one! i soooo understand about the omg your feet are huge when in fact they're proportionate to your height comments...but from the other side. im 5'1 and wear a 6 and people always feel the need to say...ooohhh your feet are so tiny, or your hands are so tiny, or your ears are so tiny, etc...um yeah i get the picture people, i am small. If anything they are pointing out were bigger, i would be freakishly disproportioned so for God's sake, kill the comments! so now i just point out this logic everytime i get one and it seems to have the desired effect...making them feel idiotic :)

[FishyGirl]

Try Nordstroms. My aunt and cousin are both over 6 feet and one wears an 11 and the other a 12. I used to have the opposite problem - I was a 4.5 before kids (but I'm 4'10", so expected) and I am a 6.5 now - so very very grateful to be able to buy regular shoes, not kid shoes. Nordstroms worked for both my aunt and cousin AND for me. And they usually have very good customer service.

You should have put your size 11's up his keister. Asshat.

[Jennifer]

What? What? What? NO HE DIDN'T! What an ass!

I also noticed your Gay Friendly auto ad in your google ads, too funny.

[pseudostoops]

At least it's slightly better here for us size-10 types than in France, where the biggest size is routinely a 40. They say it is the same as a 10 but they are LYING, it is a NINE AND A HALF and when I was living there I was forced to buy men's sneakers. Not hot.

[gigi]

My friend told me her feet stayed a half size bigger permanently after having her daughter....In other news, I wear a size 11 (I accidentally typed "22" at first!) and I guess it's that extra inch that pulls me to 6 feet that does it. In any case, Naturlizer has ok shoes and Nordstrom's online has a TON of shoes - many, many, many in size (cue the clouds parting) 11!

[~M~]

I am a size 10 too! I'm 5'9", with a huge size 10 foot. I too have had shoe salesmen laugh at me, to which I get up and leave their store without even another word. I know we're not the only ones...it does seem like they would just get used to it, or over it, whichever. Happy 10's to us :)

[ME]

Go to Nordstroms...I wear a size 12. God forbid anyone wear over an 8 at Macy's.

[Woman with Kids]

ohmygod. The Steve Madden polka dots with the red heels? Heaven. Jesus may be riding the carousel, but heaven is right there.

And that guy? I mean, you know what they say about feet, right? His little size sixes were shriveling up with jealousy.

[joy]

yeah. BUT. if you have larg(ish) feet or extra small feet, you guys always get way more selection at the DSW sale rack. Cling to that, K! Cling to that!

and that guy sounds like a complete dumbfuck dumbfuck.

[Fairly Odd Mother]

Be proud of your foot size. I am 5'9" and used to wear only a 7 1/2 which is just too small as far as I'm concerned---I tipped over way too easily. Pregnancy made my feet a permanent size 8, but the tippiness hasn't really gone away.
BTW, I love ugly shoes that no one else buys! It's a fashion statement isn't it? And, loved your Stacey & Clinton reference---they made me stop wearing shorts and minis on my 'over 35' body.

[Jill]

I gained a whole shoe size after having babies and had to purge an entire closet of shoes that no longer fit. I will always blame kid #2. It was a very sad day.

[LaShawn]

I am a size 10 girl too. In fact in most running shoes I wear and 11. IT IS BEYOND FRUSTRATING! Stupid people need to get with the program that as women get taller their feet tend to get bigger.

[Sally]

My husband wears a men's size 16 narrow and we run into that same offended huff whenever we ask if a shoe store carries his size. I just don't understand the reaction! Of course we're going to ask at every new shoe store just in case we find someplace not-online that carries his size. We're not trying to be offensive or point out the store's failings.

Good luck finding shoes! Hopefully you'll be back in 10s in a few months. If not, you might try Nordstrom online. They have really nice shoes in the bigger sizes. We pick up a few pairs of 10.5 narrow from Nordstrom for my mother-in-law every time we travel to the west coast.

[Suebob]

Well, obviously you deserve to be treated badly because you dare to have big feet. I mean, the nerve of you.

[metro mama]

My sister-in-law is size 10 and runs into this all the time. She went to Amsterdam for her honeymoon, and guess what! Not only do they stock tons of larger sizes, those are the sizes in the display window. She bought 4 pairs.

[metro mama]

My sister-in-law is size 10 and runs into this all the time. She went to Amsterdam for her honeymoon, and guess what! Not only do they stock tons of larger sizes, those are the sizes in the display window. She bought 4 pairs.

[metro mama]

My sister-in-law is size 10 and runs into this all the time. She went to Amsterdam for her honeymoon, and guess what! Not only do they stock tons of larger sizes, those are the sizes in the display window. She bought 4 pairs.

[BFF]

Dude.
One of your google ads for this post was 'Gay Friendly Autos!' I guess that some adult men do, in fact, huff.

I think you could put that size 11 foot right up his tiny ass.

M. effer.