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September 07, 2007

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LOL we actually have a bar called "The ELBOW" here in Dayton.

$19 for anything with Max Azria on it is a definite steal, and HAS to be purchased, no matter how impractical. (Not to mention, those wedges are damn cute!)

Shit, if I could remember the last time I went shopping for myself, perhaps I could think of a faux pas. Time to get myself to the mall!!

I bought a v-neck, chevron-patterned, stretchy lime green top from Esprit about 10 years ago. The chevron stripes are half-transparent; basically, where the shirt is see-through, it's really see-through. It came with a matching a-line mini-skirt with a liner. The whole thing was very Jennifer Aniston circa 1996, which is when I bought the outfit, when I landed my first full-time job.

Problem is, I never resembled Aniston circa 1996. I was 5'4" and a size 10; not exactly a model type. The outfit NEVER looked good on me, but it was the first new Esprit outfit I could ever afford; so I carried it from place to place for 10 years. A few year ago I was smart enough to lose the skirt (which never fit), but I only succeeded in bringing the shirt to Goodwill last week.

Cost of the whole outfit: around $150.

How many times I wore the whole outfit: 0.

How many times I wore the shirt by itself: 1.

The relief I feel in finally letting this outfit go: priceless.

Now I can finally leave my early 20s behind and grow up!

All I have to say is tapered jeans. I still have a pair in my closet. I don't ever...ever wear them...but I can't get rid of them.

When blazers were starting to come back into style I convinced myself that it would be a great "investment" to buy a white (white?!) chino blazer that was two sizes too big (It was on sale! I could get it altered!) Even after I spent more money on alteration it never fit quite right and made me look like a big puffy chino marshmallow. Horrid.

For those Goth dress-up events I go to all the time (not), I have not one but TWO crinolines. One black, one purple and black. And, oh yeah, the purple and black one doesn't fit...but was such a good price I convinced myself I would alter it. It's only a tad too small...

And let's not forget the striped tights to accessorize with them. Because nothing is better on huge mommy thighs than horizontal stripes...

Ok, there is an "elbow room" bar near me, Will I see you there in these shoes sometime?

I was one of the women who braved the "Bra Fitting Event" at my local store to find myself the perfect bra for my neglected boobs. The sales lady took my measurements and quickly went to the back ( it must have been the way-way back of the store ) to get what I now call the DEATH TRAP. Like a fool, I bought it despite the marks it left on my shoulders and back only in the 7 minutes I had it on. I have only worn it once to a fancy dinner and before I arrived home I had took it off in the car.

I deserve the GC for still possessing the DEATH TRAP.

I shall run and hide after typing this... thanking you in advance for the double entry this will net me.

I have an appliqued sweater. Yes, I do. It's teddy bears having a party. Not just any party. A New Year's Eve party. Emblazoned across the top of the sweater it says "Happy New Year!" In lights.

There. I've said it. I will not admit that I wore it every New Year's for 10 years. You cannot make me tell you that. I won't, I won't.

I think it's time to light a fire in the fireplace, even though it's 90 degrees out already. The toxic fumes of that sweater have got to be less harmful than the shame of ever wearing it again, right?

So hilarious - Bossy shares your height but never affords herself the chance to grow even taller with heels. But Bossy always explains that the only people who buy shoes in her size are the drag queens.

Oh, this is easy. When I was pregnant and my boobs started growing, I ran right out and purchased nursing bras. Not maternity bras, but nursing bras. Because my boobs wouldn't get any bigger, right?

Had I been wise enough to consult with ANYONE who had EVER given birth, I would have realized my foolishness. Alas.

I did this more than once. I did this, er. Well. Um. Four times. And each time I bought 2 bras.

So. I have a wide range of bras now, none of which fit me, since I am no longer three, six, seven or nine months pregnant.

And then? I had to buy *different* bras when my girls (twins) were born, because my boobs grew even MORE after the birth.

I've got a couple pairs of cork wedges that have gotten a lot less comfortable since having a baby.
I need to get in my closet and post some pictures before midnight. Now if only I could get this kid to SLEEP.

Worst fashion blunder was when I was eight months pregnant and thought my usual clothing was too boring for a cute (read: fat) pregnant girl. So, I went out and bought the loudest print, black and white floral, capri pants on the market. I thought they were so cute. Until I took a look at a picture of myself a month after giving birth and realized that the pants I wore every day for the last month of pregnancy made me look like a swollen and waddling Dorothy Zbornak.

Red Plether? How VERY Jersey of you Jersey Girl (I'm one myself, actually) :)

fashion blunder....
Picture it - Defense Air Show (think fighter jets) in Canada, where OUR products are being showcased. We are given shirts that we have to wear so that we look like a team. I was told that they are white. So, I brought a white bra with me. I didn't realize until I get dressed the morning of the show that the shirt is see through and so is the bra - so the Nips were out loud and proud. I couldn't find a mall around, so I had to stuff my bra with tissues so your couldn't see thru it. What you did see if you looked close was a bra outline and a pocketsquare of kleenex on each boobie. When I came back and told the guys I work with about it - they said, "Hell, Jen - if you hadn't had stuffed your bra - we could have sold more planes!"

And that is my fashion blunder!

I Heart COACH.

Cute shoes.

I'm pretty sure my whole current wardrobe is a fashion blunder, but I can top all the leather pants stuff because back in the day I had red pleather pants. I wore them dancing. Once.

For me its the mini skirt that I spent far too much money on. I've never worn it. After I got it home and saw how short it really is.....I keep telling myself, after I loose the extra 10lbs, my legs will look great! Now I just look at it and sigh. I think I've passed the age to be able to where a mini in public.

It has to be the red mini shirt I brought when I was 3 months pregnant. It fit for like a day and never has fit again. I thought for sure I'd wear after I gave birth. It has been 2 years and I still can't get into it. Ahhh the joys of motherhood.

Doesn't everyone have a pair of leather pants (that make your ass look awful)you never wear? It has been the constant in my closet for many, many years. My SIL just borrowed them and she told me she bought panties with fake ass cheeks on them to wear with.
My most painful purchase though has been my wedding shoes, which were like $500 (Vera Wang) bought out of desperation the day before my wedding. I convinced myself that I could dye them black and wear them all the time. Yeap.

Oooo...my kind of shoes. Most of my shoes have a 2-4 inch heel. But then again, I'm really short! :)

I bought a Dooney & Burke brown leather doctor-like satchel from Marshall's for about $80 (originally $475!). I needed this for "overnight" trips (that I never take). It is a beautiful soft leather, but was discounted so much because of a 2 inch black ink mark down the side. NO Problem, I thought, I'll just carry it facing the other way! I never, ever use it. It's so big and awkward and too heavy when packed for "overnight" travel. It is now used as a dust collector on my top closet shelf. Maybe I should e-bay it?!

I don't know what's funnier. The fact that those shoes are hilarious or the fact that we have a bar, right here in town, called The Elbow Room.

Ha ha...I'm going to laugh about this all day.

Yeah, I did the leather pants purchase blunder too. Unfortunately, I did not buy them on sale so I spent $150 and wore them one time to a Xmas party. Stupid!

Shannon --

Ballet flats are cute -- and I like kitten heels.

But I save my stilettos (HA) for girl's nights. You know, in 2010 when I go on one...

But I don't really mind wearing the tall shoes with him, just lately I think I look ridiculous. Might be since I have the baby in a sling...

Bug stomping - a common pursuit down south, I understand.

Good to know there's at least one other 5'11" mom out there married to a shorter guy. Mine's about 5'7". Maybe marrying him was a fashion blunder? Because I always feel that I'm violating some unwritten rule when buying shoes with any kind of heel whatsoever.

Arwen -- Your house for playgroup next week?

Those are beautiful! I bought a pair just like that at the beginning of the summer, but mine are even less practical because they're Kelly green and hardly match with anything.

The horrors of my fashion choices have been posted!

LEATHER PANTS?

Okay. You must post those Lisa.

Those are really cute shoes.

I have bought so many things over the years and regretted it afterwards....so much wasted money!

My purchase was a water bra. Now, I am extremely small chested and thought that it would be nice to get one and actually have boobs! (even if they were store bought)

When I tried to wear it, it was okay as long as I didn't lift my arms too high. If I raised my arms up too high, the bra would slide over my boobs and just sit on top of my chest. trying to adjust a bra that much in public is very hard to do without drawing too much attention to yourself. (very cute)

Now I stick with tank bra with no underwire.

I don't know what you are talking about, I wear my leather chaps around the house all the time.

Oh, definitely the "ultra low rise" Levis. Why did I ever think I could get this ass into a pair of jeans that low and manage to sit down?

Certainly not a fashion faux pas. Lots of positive comments from the Parrotheads on my cool new tee:

http://shesjustanothermanicmommy.blogspot.com/2007/09/as-american-as-baseball-and-margaritas.html

Only one fashion blunder? really? I can think of 10 off the top of my head. Something about that 75% off rack is so irrestable! Sequined green and hot pink skirt for $3! What a bargain!

I think the worst of the lot however has got to be the leather pants. yes....leather. pants.Why I thought they would be a good purchase I have no idea. I bought them about 10 years ago. They were 60% off. Of course they were ...they are high waisted and have no back pockets. They make your ass look like the side of a barn. At least I decided on the black and not the red, it could have been so much worse! I also bought them in a size smaller than I was wearing at the time as "motivation" to lose that 10 lbs I'd been carrying around for so long. They have never been off the hangar. Where would I wear them? The PTA? Work? Church? And yet...I can't bring myself to get rid of them ....and I have no idea why. I will NEVER wear them.

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