The Sisterhood of the Saggy Pants

It seems that it's not Ted Turner and Coca Cola that run this town.

It's belts. The big bad belt companies.

At least that's the only logical explanation for the amendment that Atlanta city councilman C.T. Martin is trying to pass that bans saggy pants.

Apparently he's worried that with kids being "half-dressed," they're not thinking about their future.

And I sort of agree. I mean, as a suffering prego, I knew all about saggy pants and I was clearly not thinking about my future.

I was thinking about suspenders.

And really, there's no resolution once you have the baby. If you're like me, your round ass turned into a roly belly, thus forcing you into belt wearing.

I'm clearly not the tucked-in-shirt-belt-wearing kind of girl. But the pants half off my ass with one hand holding them up at my crotch isn't really my style either.

Plus, it's really hard to breastfeed when you're holding up your pants with one hand.

And so, if your underpants are showing here in the ATL, you'll get fined.

So much for Britney ever coming to Atlanta.

DAMN.

But really, I'm sort of in the camp that it's not such a bad thing to see underpants, because at least that means they're being worn. It's like my rationale for deoderant stains. Sure they suck, but then at least people know you're wearing it.

But now I fear there will be way too many Atlantians walk around commando. And that makes this not an issue of racial profiling, but more an issue of public health.

I can see the sign now: "Welcome to Atlanta: Where It's Too Hot and Expensive to Wear Underpants."

I fear the stench already.

And if that's not enough, he's banning bra straps and sports bras too. Because apparently if you're a woman and you work out, you're to keep it a secret. But if you're a man, feel free to walk around with your big nasty nipples, man boobs, and sparse chest hair flapping about. 

And honestly, I could think of way worse things than wearing a shirt with a bra strap showing. In fact, I've worn them -- hypercolor shirts, peg-leg jeans, and those studded belts that wrap around twice.

I'm afraid to think how much those would have cost me.

But I suppose those are considered harmless and not perpetuating the "gangster" lifestyle. When really, the low pants originated in prison as a sign that the men were "available." I'm pretty sure most of the kids dragging their pants along the street didn't know that.

So what's next? Clearly the sagging pants and sports bras are not the best fashion choice, but I'd like to think there's a way better way to focus energy.

How about the fucking Atlanta traffic for starters?

Until then I guess instead of burning bras in protest, we'll have to wear them.

Comments

[carrien]

I'm hoping some one tries to fine a breastfeeding mother for accidentally showing her bra strap while nursing, and that she is feisty enough to take the case national in defense of her right to nurse in public and then they will feel really dumb about wasting time on such a stupid law.

[Steve]

I don’t know which people are the bigger idiots; the ones that think there should be laws to tell people how to dress, or the imbeciles that dress like this.

Seriously! WTF is wrong with you stupid-ass, dumb mother-fuckers!?!?! Not only do you look like a fucking retard, but you are emulating losers! Wake the fuck up.

They say this style originated in prisons. Perhaps it did. I always thought it originated from poor black people that didn’t have enough money to buy clothes that fit properly. Either way, when you decide to dress like this on purpose, do you realize how idiotic you are for going out of your way to look like someone that might be poor or a criminal?

Obviously, I feel pretty strongly about this fashion style. I feel just as strong however, and think it is even more ignorant to tell people how to dress. Yes, we see their underwear, but it is boxers that still cover everything. This is not a matter of decency, where perhaps we are really seeing someone’s ass. (They are asses for dressing like this.) This is just a matter of people publicly displaying what complete fucking morons they are. I don’t like it either, but I am intelligent enough to know that once you go down the slippery slope of legislating if someone can wear saggy pants, we aren’t far from the point of forcing women to wear veils.

As Dr. Evil would say; "Why must I be surrounded by freakin’ idiots!"

[BOSSY]

The Sagging Pants look? Still? It's nice to know Atlanta is so cutting edge with their fashion trends.

[VDog]

I do think that bra-strap flaunting (not the accidental peek out from the shirt) looks bad, but sports bras? Puh-leeze!

This guy doesn't know how hard it is to keep the wide-ass straps of a G cup nursing bra inside the parameters of a shirt.

And I'm not about to go around wearing crew-cut shirts all the time to satisfy some dude, 'cause, well, they make the ladies look...homely. Gotta love the v-necks. Much more flattering.

[Redneck Mommy]

I'd be screwed.

I walk around with my bra strap showing and my ass crack and panties hanging out all the time.

Can't help myself really.

Guess that scratches my plans to come down south to visit...

[brighton]

Wouldn't you love to sit in on the meetings where time is actually spent on these "issues"?? Crazy politicians.

[Mimipz5wjj]

LOL! I wrote about it too, but not nearly as funny as you!

And, I was thinking as I watched my 2 YO pull up his pants after going potty that his undies are showing. He insisted on doing it himself and would not let me "fix" him... oh dear, he's going to be fined!

It also got me to thinking... this "trend" was not started by "black youth culture" as the ACLU claims, it was started by toddlers who refused to let their parents pull up their pants... and then they somehow never learned...

[motherofbun]

That is just crazy. It must be the heat rotting that man's brain.

[B]

Ah, welcome to ATL government where they get their ideas from AM DJs. If you don't accept the state of traffic now you will begin to contemplate driving into the median every time you are stuck in it. You may want to stuff some Xanax in your glovebox.

[Tiffany]

So does that make bikinis glorified bras...or the other way around?

[Above Average Joe]

Mrs Joe & I were visiting a friend who lived in Buckhead at the time. Our friend got drunk while we were partying in 5 Points and we all got lost trying back. We spent an hour going in circles around I285. They dont tell you the direction changes from I285 North to I285 West and you dont leave the damn road.

[jozet]

And yet there is no death penalty for wearing stirrup pants with ballet flats.

Where is the justice in this world?

;-)

[crunchycarpets]

SMYRNA right?

I forgot the r.....

[crunchycarpets]

I spent five days in Atlanta.
We were apparently actually staying in Smyrna (spelling?) but being that there was nothing to show that we were in any sort of town...everything was gated up condo's on parklike setting with not a corner store in site...but we drove INTO Atlanta everyday for a conference.

That humidity is fun.
And I also got the impression -more there than anywhere else - that working in the 'service industry (fastfood, hotel front desks, restaurants, cabs, etc) was pure hell and therefore forget getting any kind of service with a smile...everything was served with a side of anger. I apologized a lot when I was there and was never really sure what for.

The CNN tour was fun.

[Christina]

Ah, taxpayer money being used to dictate fashion code. Next thing you know, babies only wearing onesies and showing too much diaper will be fined.

[Kendra]

I heard about this on the radio. I don't live in Atlanta, but I was a little miffed. Um, there are MUCH more important things to discuss during expensive legislative time!

[AGH]

I agree, they should ban butt cracks, not undies. At least the undies sometimes cover the cracks.

[Wendy]

I think this man is missing something here. Over here in New Orleans we like our criminals to wear their saggy pants and way oversized shirts. 1. We can spot them. And yes, the majority of them are criminals. It is called the uniform of the day for a reason. And 2. have you ever tried running from the cops in saggy pants? You fall and then they catch you. It is easier for NOPD to get their man.

[Mommy Babble]

Banning saggy pants? No bra straps showing? Sheesh! What's next, delcaring the ankle is too sexy to be shown so long pants and skirts for everyone?

[Major Bedhead]

I didn't know Atlanta had a Puritan city government. Will they be handing out scarlet As, too? Bringing back the stockade? Public flogging?

[Joel]

I don't know what's dumber, the kids wearing pants around their ankles or the law attempting to deal with them. Can you pass a law against stupidity? Oh I forgot, we have the lottery to deal with those people.

[armywifetoddlermom]

Loved the last radio show!

[MU]

I think if they are going to ban saggy pants, then they need to ban mullets.

[JChase]

Let me type that correctly this time:

PLEASE tell me you're kidding...

[JChase]

PLEASE telling you're kidding...

[kgirl]

Millions of pervs are lining up to become bylaw officers as we speak...

Ma'am, I do believe that is categorized as a sports bra and not a tank top. I'll have to take a closer look...

[kgirl]

Millions of pervs are lining up to become bylaw officers as we speak...

Ma'am, I do believe that is categorized as a sports bra and not a tank top. I'll have to take a closer look...

[mothergoosemouse]

Why stop here? Perhaps they ought to ban ultra low-rise jeans, string bikinis, and spandex. ATL could become the best-dressed city in the country!

[MU]

Oh Angela - now stop bragging :)

heh.

I wish I'd knock myself out. I fear I'd be disappointed.

[Angela]

Oh for pete's sake. While I don't particularly care for the falling down pants look, you can't just go around banning folks from wearing what they want.

Since they want women to not wear sports bras when out jogging how about just a bikini bathing suit? A whole slew of women jogging down Peachtree Street Baywatch-style. (Of course I'll not be participating in that particular run since I'd knock myself out.)

[Mominatrix]

What no dildos?

*gasp*

[Heather]

Yes be sure you wear the bra on the OUTSIDE of your clothes in protest.

Would they rather women not wear the bras at all to keep the straps from showing?

"Do your boobs hang low, do they waddle to and fro. Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them o'er your shoulder like a continental solider? Do your boooobs haaaang looow?"

The new Atlanta theme song.

Boy, that guy is almost as bad as the ones here in Alabamer who are outlawing dildos. Almost.

[Mrs Mogul]

My husband has lost some weight and his jeans hang down like a gangsta. He's too lazy to buy a new belt so we walk around with his plumbers butt hanging out. Oh geez, this has got to change! Like the boot camp photo, I have my kid pushing his stroller for an hour