You Already Know What's Under My Sk*rt. Why Not Worry About Something Else?

Hey Y'all --

Ah've been trahing tew get all this like craziness about my underpants or no underpants and I jest don't get it. Ah mean. Jest becuz I like tew go without my panties or with little panties doesn't mean I'm a ho. Ah'm a ho for like so many other reasons. Um, hello!

Don't yew thank there's more important stuff to thank about. Like wars, presidents, or jellies -- omg like how fuckin' cute are these? Now I don't know anythang about wars (except trying to get them underpants over my jeans in that Slave For You video -- damn that was hard) or Presidents. Hell, I think an Obama is what little JJ does in his diaper. And John McCain sang that song "I'll Be" right? And Rudy is that short dude who played football in college.

Dayamn that is such a good movie. Like I totally cry every time I see it!

I know I went a little nuts and all with mah hair. But really, thems were jest hair extensions. I haven't had real hair in like 5 years. Duh. Like who has real hair these days?

Anyways, I thank that if yew had cameras on yew all the time yew'd get crotch shots too. Okay. Like maybe yew don't wear short skirts and all but if yew did then yeah. I mean, it's hard gettin' out of the car while tryin' to keep a wig on.

And it's kind of embarrisin' that yew know what color underpants I'm wearin' but yew couldn't even tell me what the president wanna-be people care about or at least what color their underpants are. Or like if they even wear underpants. Yeah. I mean. They're going to rule our country and all yew care about is who's going to win American Idol and shiyit (omg melinda got so robbed dude).

So, why don't yew leave me and my fucking skirt and business alone and worry about something else? Seems like yew already know I'm a freaking rich rock star with incredibly bad taste in men and clothes.

Sort of like Hillary. Hey. Maybe I do know something about politics! Dang y'all!

The end. Peace out, y'all. Kisses.

Britney :P

(Sweet picture of mah gold bag and hot mani via Mamapop)

--

So what are you hiding under your sk*rt? Tell us. 

Comments

[Her Bad Mother]

Y'ALL. Whaddup with all the hatin' on my hoo-ha y'all? Y'all. Where else I'm s'posed to keep mah keys?

[Mark]

Now if that was YOUR skirt!

[Amy]

That's Hot.

Not.

[Mom101]

Okay so I know I'm above all this celeb stuff and all, but I admit I did snicker. Briefly. Very briefly.

Okay, I snorted. But I'll deny it if confronted.

[Heather]

HIGHlarious! Oh my gawd!

[stella]

O.M.F.G

omg.

omg.

IS THAT A TAINT-TOE? Like half camel-toe, half ass-toe?

wow. i've seen it all.

[slackermommy]

At least she had panties on this time. Her nasty twat is forever etched in my mind. I'm seriously suffering post traumatic stress disorder from it.

[Matt]

Great stuff! Unfortunately, also a spot-on comment on the state of the American psyche.

[BOSSY]

Bossy is more interested in what's hiding out under Britney's scarf -- is that a wig? Extensions pinned to a crew cut? What? Wasn't she bald like two minutes ago?

[Deb]

OMG-I nearly bought a pair of Crocs today. Thankfully, I came to my senses before I got to the check out line! I actually felt the same way about UGGs-but I ended up buying them. They both look cute on my 7 y.o.

I also read your post from Father's Day. It reminded me quite a bit about my own relationship with my father. I was luckier than you, though. I got to tell him I loved him and he hugged me and told me the same. It didn't erase all of the years of anger and hurt, but it sure helped with closure. I think about him (he died on the 18th of June 10 years ago) and wonder what it would be like if we had that final conversation years earlier.

[CableGirl]

lmao!!!

Thank you for this morning's giggle.

[AndreAnna]

At least there are panties this time. :)

[Dana]

I never realized how difficult it is to read in a southern accent. It honestly took me twenty minutes to read it and understand.

Damn you, Britney!

[Dawn]

O M G!! How did you get Britnay to come tawk to you?!??!