Only One Child May Cry at a Time... And Other Ridiculous Sayings I've Made Up in the Last Few Weeks Because Parenting Two Children is Kicking my Butt
Seriously, I was feeling pretty damn good with my smarty pants two year old. Sure, she likes to ink paint on carpets and walls, but for the most part, she's pretty manageable.
On her own.
But add a baby into the mix, take away my husband during the week, and give my daughter a 14-year-old's vocabulary and reasoning and you got a recipe for an insanity cocktail.
And believe me. It's no mojito.
I'm struggling. Honestly struggling. I feel pulled in two very separate directions. I'm shorter with her. I raise my voice more quickly. And I'm so that parent I didn't really want to be more than I'd like to admit. It's nothing terribly awful -- it's just a result of being overextended and trying to figure out how to make time for myself and my family.
I hold myself to high parenting standards. I know you may not think so, but really, I do. I see the teaching moments. I watch them pass me by as I flip on the television yet again because I'm just too plain tired to function adequately. And then I feel guilty.
So in order to maintain some level of sanity, I'm creating new house rules. Or new "I'm living in someone else's" house rules. And my first order of business is as follows:
Only one child may cry at a time. You are welcome to cry at any given time for any given reason. Crying is healthy, natural, and acceptable -- as is being hurt, and angry. Just make sure you don't feel that way when the other kid does, because you'll just have to hold it in.
What are your "house rules?"
First, give yourself a break. You're in someone else's home with a baby and a toddler; you are merely trying to survive. Thriving is optional. My kids are 17 months apart and my toddler watched more TV in the first 6 months of my baby's life than was surely healthy. It's just how it is. Embrace the TV. Dora and Sesame Street are your friends.
Rules in my house --
no hitting.
don't talk to mommy until AFTER coffee.
Posted by: Kim | June 15, 2007 at 06:09 PM
To begin with, two does get easier, I have a 3 & 6 year old, much easier.
The most broken rule when little princess was a baby: You both will sleep at the same time!
Posted by: KristenM | June 14, 2007 at 07:04 PM
This one is for my almost 3 yr old son:
If you're going to talk about mommy's vagina in public, please, please, please use your inside voice!
Damn toddlers.
Posted by: Smiling Mom | June 14, 2007 at 12:16 PM
My house rules in no particular order...
1. No hitting
2. No pooping outside
And yes...there was an incident that occured in order to institue rule number 2...
Perhaps there should be an order to the rules and perhaps rule #2 should move up on the list...
Posted by: Beth_C | June 14, 2007 at 07:45 AM
Do not pinch my boob when I'm reading you a book, because Daddy tells you to, and you both think it is insanely funny.
Do not jump on my when I'm doing yoga, on the living room floor, while folding the laundry at the same time, because that's how I kill two birds with one stone.
Do not ask me for juice, and when I give it to you in the very cup you asked for, tell me you don't want the juice any fucking more.
Posted by: Dana | June 13, 2007 at 08:26 PM
I want to institute your new rule. I could really use it. I'd also like to add "No requesting juice while mommy is nursing the baby" and "No being hungry when you just nursed for the past hour."
I know how you're feeling. I feel like worst mother of the year most days now.
Posted by: Christina | June 13, 2007 at 07:09 PM
I did this over on my site. Thanks for the idea!
Posted by: Carmen | June 13, 2007 at 05:15 PM
I would love to think that I have great house rules. But usually it comes down to;
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!
Very mature, yes I know.
Posted by: Amy | June 13, 2007 at 02:51 PM
LOVE IT!
Two toddlers are sick this week, and mucho family coming to town for baptism. My house is a hell hole. Today C was crying in pain (they Tylenol hadn't taken effect yet), and K saw me pick her up and started to whimper. And the baby was hungry. I like your rule and I am hereby usurping it for my own purposes!
Posted by: B | June 13, 2007 at 02:40 PM
I have one very simple rule... No one interrupts mommy when she's in the shower. I get up early enough to shower while my husband is still home for that very reason. However the two of them don't always respect the rule... grrrr.
I'm sure when #2 gets her eviction notice in August more fun rules will have to be declared.
Posted by: Jessica | June 13, 2007 at 02:35 PM
Hands are not for hitting.
No splashing mommy.
No spitting.
Oh, the spitting.
Posted by: Mrs. Chicken | June 13, 2007 at 12:20 PM
The only one I have is...
NO
MORE
CHILDREN
:)
I love yours though. And if you'll read this post, you;ll see that I do need to institute a "NO FAINTING while mommy is nursing" rule.
http://dawnandjimmy.us/blog/2007/05/15/oh-the-joys-2/
Posted by: Dawn | June 13, 2007 at 11:41 AM
My only rule is that they spare me and let me live.
I can totally relate to everything in the post. Now with a 5 yr old and a 16 month old, I can only say that it gets easier to ignore them as they get older.
Posted by: Wendy | June 13, 2007 at 10:24 AM
They used to be "no more than 2hrs of tele a day and must be mildly educational" but I can't count the number of times we've watched Cars multiple times a day. I also insisted we eat meals at the dinner table, but the toddler just isn't eating and if he's distracted by the tele he does. Like you I'm kinda disgusted with things that have started sliding, but feel helpless against this onslaught of kid'ness.
Posted by: Kelly | June 13, 2007 at 10:24 AM