Clearly, someone is trying to tell me something.
I should have known when everything fell right into place for our little weekend trip to Hotlanta. Nothing forgotten. Happy children. Cheerful mother-in-law.
But then, we arrived at the airport to find every single person in Philadelphia trying to fly to Atlanta today. I know, the CNN Center is just fabulous and I love me some Japanese Prune Coke at the Coca Cola Museum. However, I'm not sure that's worth the hellishly long lines at the ticket counters and security -- with two children, two car seats, a stroller, three bags, and a mother-in-law.
I was hoping that with the huz being employed by an airline I might get some special privileges.
Apparently that was the ONE free ziploc bag for my Preparation H cream with the butt tip that stopped the x-ray tray in front of half of the city.
Nice.
As airline employee dependents, you fly standby. No special red carpet, no stickers, and no cute set of wings. And, clearly, no special treatment. As I learned, do not for the life of you mention the word "pilot," at least to gate agent Mr. Sherry F., a man with a very weird first name for a man who's not a pre-op trannie, because he will not offer you the two open seats on your flight because "you are a party of four."
Yes. Four humans -- two of whom are small children and can clearly sit on laps and take up two seats.
"Don't make me whip out my boob and nurse right in front of you, Mister" I thought, considering the possible ramifications (and exciting blog post) of such an action.
But alas, I didn't think Mr. Sherry F. would have cared. And so started our long field trip day at the airport.
We had a picnic lunch under the large overhang at Gate E-3. We tested the various toilets and sinks at each of the two women's restrooms. We ate large amounts of candy, including gummy bears, lollipops, and twizzlers.
We listened as my daughter cheered for the arriving planes and cried loudly as they left without her. And we watched solemnly (and looked away, as many of our country people are doing) as the casket of a soldier was loaded onto a plane with a military escort and salute.
And we cried when the third flight was over sold with no chance of us getting on it.
So, our trip to Atlanta was not meant to be. We'll have to meet Ted Turner and indulge on an hour long sugar high sampling of cokes another time. And while I have to admit that the airport was almost as exciting as the zoo (less animals, air conditioning, and just under half the stench), I'm pretty sure you won't see me listing it as an "Indoor Listen and Learn" activity at Gocitykids.
And our only saving grace was that we at least got our parking free. And that my children are gems.
Maybe that's what someone was trying to tell me.
We know it's hard mommy. That's why we read our own bedtime stories sometimes.
ICK! I don't live far, I hate flying out of there, I do Lehigh when I can!
Posted by: Mommy Macchiato | July 04, 2007 at 02:38 PM
What adorable, gorgeous children you have!!
Posted by: Molly | July 04, 2007 at 07:55 AM
Dad used to work for USAirways when I was growing up. (And my brother.) When everything went bankrupt after 9/11, flying standby became 100% impossible with flight options being scaled back and hubs (Pittsburgh) scaling down in general.
That said, now that I pay to fly, I STILL HATE flying out of Philly. We were at the airport at 5:40AM last month and it was STILL RIDICULOUS.
Posted by: Jenna | July 03, 2007 at 04:39 PM
What a day, at least the kids behaved . Sorry oyu didt get to go though (i would so expect perks being the wife of an employee)
Posted by: Laura McIntyre | July 03, 2007 at 03:11 AM
Yikes - Bossy is sorry for your misfortune. Overbooked seems the norm these days. Nothing funny here.
Posted by: BOSSY | July 02, 2007 at 07:44 PM
Sorry for such a sucky time. Sounds like a looooong day.
But that picture you posted at the end? Killing me! Absolutely gorgeous!!
Posted by: Jackie | June 30, 2007 at 09:51 AM
I think you know how I feel about the airlines. My label "suckitude" is almost entirely devoted to a single air carrier.
Dude. Benedryl. It can be a mommy's best friend.
I'm only saying.
Better luck next time.
Posted by: Mrs. Chicken | June 29, 2007 at 11:35 PM
I suppose it could have been worse -- a dildo?
OY.
Posted by: Kristen | June 29, 2007 at 06:00 PM
Hey Alexandra:
http://www.craftsburykids.com
and
http://www.katequinnorganics.com
Love the ones you are making -- I am not so skilled.
Posted by: Kristen | June 29, 2007 at 05:58 PM
Oh no! You're a braver woman than me for sticking it out all day at the airport! Too bad it didn't get you anywhere. Better luck next time!
Posted by: Mommy babble | June 29, 2007 at 04:39 PM
You know this is divine retribution for taking the duck, right?
Posted by: Mom101 | June 29, 2007 at 03:17 PM
You are kidding me!? You got no where!!! You are a trouper. PS, so are you kids :)
Posted by: Kendra | June 29, 2007 at 02:06 PM
Oh my! That sounds like a really long & draining day... I've spent days at the airport before, not with two kids luckily, but none-the-less, it was never too fun.
By the way, I really love that kimono onsie the little one is wearing. :) Where did you find it?
Posted by: Alexandra | June 29, 2007 at 01:28 PM
Next time (yikes) you're stuck at PHL, there's the Please Touch Museum's airplane playspace/exhibit in the D terminal (Airtran's main wing). We did the Philly/Tampa flight with them a bunch in the past two years and my kids (8 and 4) still ask if we can go to the airport to play.
Posted by: megan | June 29, 2007 at 12:50 PM
Yes they are gems - so sweet. Sorry you got such a crappy deal though. Waiting all day, for nothing just plain sucks.
Posted by: heather | June 29, 2007 at 10:34 AM
Well that just sucks...I'm impressed your post isn't filled with copious amounts of profanity. Airports and flying induce excess profanity for me.
Posted by: Jennifer | June 29, 2007 at 10:23 AM
I feel for ya sista..Yesterday I spent 12 hours in the PAX terminal in Ramstein trying to get on a space A plane to the states. I didn't..Today I go back to try again.
Posted by: Becky | June 29, 2007 at 09:00 AM
Ohhh, I can definatly relate to your story. My husband is a pilot also, and god forbid you mention that to the gate agent. Everytime I fly on standby with my daughter my husband always feels the need to remind me to be patient and kind to the gate agents because they can report you to the airline and he can lose his priveledges. huh!? Kind and patient what is that about? Great story, I'm sorry you didn't get on. Hopefully it will work out next time!
Posted by: Stephanie | June 29, 2007 at 08:43 AM
Yeah. Thanks Amy. My understanding is that gate agents are a special breed unto their own.
:)
Posted by: Kristen | June 29, 2007 at 07:56 AM
My brother's a pilot and non-reving blows...I can't do it anymore.
And the Prep H thing made me pee my pants a bit. That was awesome.
Posted by: Mitch McDad | June 29, 2007 at 12:37 AM
They are so freaking adorable!!! =)
Posted by: Jen | June 28, 2007 at 11:01 PM
If your husband works for the airline I listed the last time you talked about his job (wink), there is a non-rev travel ban on the 29th and 30th. (you=non-rev) So if you were thinking of traveling tomorrow or Saturday, you may want to check on that. Also, those gate agents don't mess around. There is no special treatment for employees. It's wonderful. :-)
Posted by: Amy H | June 28, 2007 at 10:50 PM
The last time I flew they went through a woman's bag and help up her vibrator for the world to see. I swear she died right there. I feel bad for you though.
Love the kids. So freaking cute.
Posted by: Phoenix | June 28, 2007 at 07:18 PM
Love the caption for that photo! Its perfect!
And sorry you didn't make it to Atlanta!
Posted by: Karly | June 28, 2007 at 07:02 PM
Your Preparation H applicator stopped the line? Oh lawd help, I can't stop laughing.
Until I read the part about the solider. So very sad.
Your kiddos are just too cute!
Posted by: Heather | June 28, 2007 at 06:53 PM
Dude.
You KNOW it's bad when you're happy to be in your MIL's company!
lmao.
Posted by: the new girl | June 28, 2007 at 06:37 PM
Yes welcome to my nightmare. My wife has 20+years with a major carrier and we still spend days not going anywhere. We've learned if we need to be somewhere we use my frequent flyer miles to grab a seat. It was tougher when we had 5 teenagers and the seven of us trying to fly on dependent travel, some would go one direction others in another and somehow all end up where we needed to go. Good luck while he's earning B scale.
Posted by: Mark | June 28, 2007 at 05:55 PM
Sherry? Are you shitting me?
Flying standby sounds nearly as appealing as flying space-A. At least you didn't end up in the belly of a C130 bound for BFE West Virginia when your car was at Andrews...
Posted by: mothergoosemouse | June 28, 2007 at 05:51 PM
That picture is so cute!!
Posted by: jodi | June 28, 2007 at 05:48 PM
Seriously? Apple juice!
Posted by: Kristen | June 28, 2007 at 05:21 PM
They landed a plane over an apple juice tantrum? For real? Why does this shock me?
Posted by: Dana | June 28, 2007 at 05:04 PM
I was just sure that you were about to tell us that this was your kid:
http://www.nbc10.com/news/13575254/detail.html
Could've been worse!!
Posted by: Amy | June 28, 2007 at 04:48 PM
Love that picture. The baby looks so intrigued.
Posted by: *pixie* | June 28, 2007 at 04:29 PM
Oh, that is the cutest damn picture, with the little one looking on. Sorry you had to spend the day at the airport. I've never been to Philadelphia airport and we fly out of Newark, and the thought of spending the day there with my 14-month-old makes me want to pluck my eyelashes out.
Glad they were good for you!
Posted by: AndreAnna | June 28, 2007 at 04:20 PM