So Maybe You Have an Ipod...

Pardon my whinings about presentless birthday celebrations. I mean, what's that about? Sorry. Flowers and a carvel ice cream cake (for someone who for the second year in the row has to pretend to like ice cream cake) just doesn't cut it when you're busting your butt daily with a baby and an increasingly demanding toddler.

I write a shopping blog with an entire category called Baubles and Bags. I like every single thing in that category. And considering you're all about reading my blog and googling me, dear, why not google yourself over there AND GO SHOPPING?

Plus, you've been out every day shopping for work clothes. Do they not have anything that you could give your wife that might say "Happy Birthday I did actually think about you and not myself today."?

And ps -- what does this card mean?

[A bunch of lit candles singing "We've been waiting for youuuuu"]

open

[Annoying little buggers, aren't they? Happy Birthday]

Um -- am I missing something? Is there something touchingly romantic or funny about that card?

So, as I continue to whine about my pathetic birthday which, I fear, is only an appetizer to my piss poor mother's day celebration as the only gift my husband will be giving me is his long drive south for the next 6 weeks (ouch), I offer you a few interesting tidbits that have absolutely nothing to do with me wallowing in self pity.

- A cool *Blog Blast (read: Blog carnival sans blog clowns) to be held this Friday, May 11 all day (just post it at some point on Friday). Basically, write a post on this topic "What Makes You a Mother" (is it your lumpy ass, your saggy belly, your big heart, your cute kids, your ability to empathize with a mom?), make sure to link up Parent Bloggers and Light Iris (a new cool website for moms that includes some really cool features that I won't tell you about but they rock) and send the link here. We'll link them all up on Mother's Day, give you a button and LOADS of traffic, and a random poster will win a $100 to Spafinder.

- A fabulous Real Mom Truths contest that YOU must enter. No more complaining about your writing not being read. Rewrite your original entry (takes a minute) or write a new one and enter it. I'm giving away a 4G iPod and some chocolates to the winner (picked by Rebecca and Romi) -- plus a link to your post on True Mom Confessions (hello -- 1 kajillion hits and counting). Click here for info.

- And a few other wonderful contests that deserve your attention. Seriously. Win something. Do it for the presentless wallowers.

So go now.

*For all your blogherads people, these are not pay-per-posts or solicited anything and I'm not getting any $40 + worth of free meat to get people to write posts and link to Parent Bloggers or Light Iris*

Comments

[Kara]

I just look at my birthday, and now Mother's Day too, for a time for me to go out and buy my own presents. Seriously, I don't have high expectations any more.

[mod*mom]

happy belated birthday kristen!
i can relate, i didn't even get a card :)

please send me your blog button/badge for my mother's day blogroll!!!
+ enter my mother's day giveaways, i have like 8 right now

http://modmom.blogspot.com

[Kristina Brooke]

My MIL used to make Pot Roast for my husband every year for his birthday and every year he told her that he hates post roast. And every year he got a pot roast. And every year he told her that he hated pot roast. He turned 30 on Feb 10. She called us and invited us to dinner for his favorite meal: Pot Roast. We did not answer.

I feel your pain.

[Jen M.]

I'm also voting for you to keep the iPod. You can send the winner an ice-cream cake.

You know, men can really suck. I've been married to the love of my life for fourteen years and I can't count the days I've wanted to become a non-practicing lesbian.

[Kaite]

I feel your pain sista -
My b-day is tomorrow and all I asked for is a filing cabinet. How romantic..right? Well I asked for it becasue I REALLY need one. Of course the real present would have been not only a filing cabinet but also a person to actually file my stuff in there.
Instead... I got a pair of hot pink sweatpants that say "Palm Springs" across the ass.
What the hell present is that?
Oh, that's right! It's the kind of present meant to be a constant reminder that he was in Plam Springs last week (for 6 days) on the beach with his boss all while I hung out here with 3 kids in my unorganized house with papers laying around that should really be in a filing cabinet.
I'm pretty sure he bought the silly tramp pants at the airport as an after thought. As always

[Sarah]

My fiance must be the same man. Guess I should get out and run while I still can, huh? =P

Seriously, though. First, there was Christmas. Nothing. Then we had Valentine's Day. Nothing. Then my birthday. Nothing. Then our anniversary. Nothing. And then Christmas again.

And that time he went all out. He told me that his budget was $150 so I went out and bought him a gift certificate to a romantic seven-course dinner for two where he can meet the chef, etc. And he bought me a $18 book that I already owned.

I've accepted that he sucks donkey balls at gift-giving. So now I just tell him explicitly what I would like, where to find it, what size, etc. And remarkably, his budget will stretch to accomodate not being humiliated in front of my family AGAIN by his utter lack of gift-giving savvy.

[Kristen]

Oh Monica.

You win.

But really, my husband told me he wanted to take me up to NYC to see a musical -- you know, Jersey Boys, the only one he said he could possibly stand sitting through and really not my first choice.

So how is that a gift for me, really?

OY.

[Monica]

My husband is 4 months overdue in my 30th birthday present. Yesterday he told me he had finally figured out what to get me. A "really fancy" scale. Wow.

[mothergoosemouse]

J: Can I ask you a question?

K: Sure.

J (reads aloud card description): What does that mean?

K: Well, I'd say that it means the recipient is over the hill.

J: Should a husband give that card to his wife?

K (visibly shudders): No.

(pause)

K: Unless he doesn't like having sex.

I love ice cream cake. Fax me a piece, please.

[Her Bad Mother]

I want some salami, too. Does CMP rep any mom-targetted salami basket companies? Because you totally should.

[BOSSY]

Bossy's husband isn't that fond of gift giving either. He sort of begins every sentence, "And I know how you don't like to exchange gifts..." Um ?

[Kristen]

MMMMMMMMMM salami.

[Sueb0b]

My favorite idiot-man-getting-me-a-present story:

The idiot man "could never think of what to get." The night before my July bday we were walking and I saw a book in the bookstore window that I said I wanted.

I got it for my bday.

Then I got it again for Xmas. He said, no, he hadn't forgotten that he got me the same book on my bday. He just couldn't think of what else to get me.

[Jenn]

heh - 31, as a year, isn't all that bad, but it does seem to be the time when birthdays aren't supposed to matter quite as much anymore. :) but it is a good reason to go get your own prezzie!

Happy, happy slightly belated birthday, babe!!

[Mom101]

I think he deserves a going away present of equal value.

Or just get him a douche. Because that's the one word that's coming to mind.

[Salami Sam]

Kristen: Per our correspondence, I just sent you our deluxe salami gift pack for review, featuring samples of Italian Hard Dry Salame, Sopressata, Cacciatore, French Saucisson Sec, Traditional Genoa and Milano varieties.

The retail value is $41.50. Will this present a problem?

[brad]

well that really blows, or i guess it didn't actually.

cheer up tho, he's got 360 some odd days to figure out how to REALLY take care of you for your 32nd

[JChase]

Want me to go knock some sense into him?

He better get you something for mother's day. Or he'll have to answer to ME. And you don't want to mess with an angry sister-in-law.

:)

[Kristen]

Brad -- are you kidding?

HAHAHAHAHA

[brad]

did you at least get some birthday...ahem...*attention*

[Christina]

You know, I could try to say something soothing, like, "Maybe he'll make up for it with Mother's Day," but even that sounds crappy. It's like having your birthday near Christmas and not getting anything because Christmas is so near.

Do you have an iPod? If not, I think you need to keep that little freebie for yourself. You deserve it.

[mom blog]

I'm sure you will have a great Mother's Day. I hope so atleast since you are such a hardworking mama! Those are some great contests that I'll have to tell my readers about. Check out the Mothers Day contest over at ContestForMoms.com too! You can win an HP Printing Mailbox & presto.com service as well as a Metromamma Baby wrap!

[PunditMom]

I say a huge birthday celebration will be in order at BlogHer!

[adil]

Geez why are men so dumb? This is what I said to mine yesterday, "You know Sunday is mother's day, right? (he grunted an affirmation,) I didn't bit*h or complain when you ignored valentine's day, but if this Sunday comes and goes without some kind of acknowledgement I'm not going to be nearly as accommodating. You've got almost a week to get it together." How much do you want to bet he still screws it up?

[mamaS]

Last year we were kind of fighting around Mother's Day so he claimed he didn't "feel like doing anything". Never mind that was my first Mother's Day and we had recently moved a thousand miles with a newborn to a place where we knew no one. That still hurts. So, I'm actually dreading the day this year.

Men and women may be wired differently, but it really doesn't take much to make our day. Holidays and birthdays really do mean a lot. Come on, show us some love.

[dana]

I did not get a birthday present from my husband either. He made me dinner. Totally the cheap way out.

For mother's day? He volunteered, VOLUNTEERED, to work that day so that his mom-co-workers could spend the day with their families. Ummm...what's wrong with this picture?

While it's a sweet gesture, to OTHER mothers, but I won't get a mother's day present either.

Instead, I got pissed off and booked a trip to the zoo with my son.

Uh-huh. I know. That'll REALLY teach my husband a lesson.

I'm just as nuts as he is. :P

[Susan]

I really think you should keep the iPod for yourself. Happy Birthday!

[the new girl]

What a tool. *sorry, thought that was inside my head typing*

He'd have been better off getting you a container of veggie chicken salad to stick a candle in, for crissakes.

[MamaLee]

Are we married to the same guy?