Motherhood Uncensored

A Contest of Google Proportions

If you've read my blogs for any amount of time then you know I have a certified Google addiction. I'm one of those people who, when totally bored, will just sit and Google to my heart's content.

I'm not denying the helpfulness of the internet, but let's face it. When you google your name and you find funny stories or some weird stripper, that's one thing. But when your kid is hacking up yellow loogies, you don't want to find that blog post from some dude who had the same symptoms and it turned out to be malaria.

That just doesn't help the mommy nerves.

So, when I'm feeling like a good laugh, I'll search through my amazingly bizarre Google searches (like Brad Pitt Pubic Hair, or Where Are My Mom's Boobs?). But when I need parenting information, I'm going straight to Light Iris. A new site for moms that features a great search engine that surfs through only the best parenting websites AND blogs (yes, you can even submit your own) to help you save time.

So, if you'd like to win a $25 gift card to Starbucks, here's what I want you to do:

Go enter the contest at Light Iris, submit your blog, and then come back here and give me your craziest Google search in the comments of this post (you know, something that someone searched that landed them at YOUR fine blog). You've got until June 8 -- which is the day of the Light Iris Blog Blast where we're giving away a Blogher 2-day Conference Ticket. And if you can't wait, we've got another Blog Blast coming up on June 1 (this Friday). Just in time for Father's Day!

HELLLOOOOOOOOOO! Mark your calendars. Spread the word!

Tonight from 9-10 EST I'm talking with Light Iris founder Kevin Burke about the website as well as his month long stint with a preggo suit (for real). I'll also be joined by author Robert Wilder. His book "Daddy Needs a Drink" is great -- and I'll be giving away an autographed copy to a lucky listener or reader.

Call in to (646) 915-8634 to say hello and win the book -- or just leave a comment here with your (or your husband's) favorite drink. We all know moms need drinks too.

And we're giving away a GoodFather CD-Rom -- Dr. Moz's awesome new-dad (or soon to be dad) hilarious and informative HOW-TO. Check The Goodfather -- it's a great Father's Day gift!

Also, check out our kick-butt blog blast sponsored by these folks set for this Friday. You could win $200 in Amex GCs and Cash for a fabulous date night out. And we've got another one coming up June 8 where you can win a Blogher 2-day pass. So mark your calendar and spread the word!

Who Said There Wasn't Irony in Parenting

It only took my son going hoarse to realize an important lesson.

My son doesn't really like the stroller. Or the car.

For all the touting that I did about them being similar, that's one big difference that I'm still trying to figure out how to maneuver because while my daughter will sleep in the car, my son will scream his bloody guts out. And while my daughter will sit happily and snooze away in the stroller, my son will cry until he's hoarse.

And so, while I am quite proud of figuring out one of the 13,000,001 mysteries that are our children, I've also learned how incredibly complicated it makes my life.

The only way my daughter will nap is if I drive her around in the car. But that doesn't work so well with a screaming baby. Same goes for the stroller.

So, I've come to one incredible conclusion.

I need a freaking nanny who will take both of them so I can get some sleep. Then maybe I could figure out a solution.

Any thoughts?

Please Take a Moment Today to Remember

Amidst the beer and barbeques today, there are thousands of service men and women who have not seen their families in a very long time. And there are some families that will never see their loved ones again. Regardless of what you think about this war, just remember that folks are giving their lives and their time away from their kids and spouses for us.

Check out some really great links, a couple of cool ass military wives, and a way you can make a military kid or our soldiers smile.

And if you're not reading these blogs, you should. My new favorites.

Here's What I'll Be Doing This Weekend

Trying to figure out what the hell to do with this.

Attempting to use the "right" spatula (heh).

Catching up on my blog reading -- New baby? Still waiting! Still laughing...

Drinking a lot of these.

And chasing after my son who can now roll both ways. (Seriously, he's 4 months -- WTF?)

And you?

And You Thought I'd Get Kicked Out Because of My Blog