This is Your Brain on No Sleep, Leaky Boobs, and Two Kids Under Three
We've all heard people refer to preggo brain. Hell, I was using "Excuse me, I'm post partum" two years after my daughter was born. There's not one bit of old wive's anything when it comes to what motherhood does to your formerly high-functioning and quick-synapsing brain.
It sucks the life right out of it. Lights off, baby. Nobody home.
Why do you think we're accused of watching soap operas all day? It's all our poor brains can process after listening to the same song 247 times, watching Dora shoo away Swiper AGAIN (Damn that sneaky fox), and telling our kids ridiculous statements like "Don't eat the poopy honey" or "Please get your finger out of your butt."
But then combine a brain of a two moms (or one mom and a mom-to-be) and seriously, people should avoid driving on the same road. Watch the heck out people. Forget "Baby on Board." Try "Mom behind the wheel. Save yourselves before it's too late."
My preggo friend and I went out to lunch on Friday and I'm afraid we nearly bumped into four people, almost forgot her food, and better, nearly didn't stop to pick up her car that she left at the hairdresser so she could ride with me. We were at the functioning level of a two year old...monkey. And that's probably giving us too much credit.
We lost the car at the mall a few months back. Seriously, it was two preggos and a very old lady searching feverishly for our cars in a crowded parking lot saying "I know I parked it right here. Where did it go?"
Sadly, I hear it only gets worse. Lately I've been having difficulty speaking. I am having trouble thinking of the words I want to say -- take, for instance, when I referred to a playground as a "play-yard." What is that exactly? And what, now that I have two kids and no sleep am I British?
PLAY-YARD. Sounds so fancy.
And so, I'm not sure there's any hope. It won't be long before I'll have to wear a bib to catch my own drool. And Lord knows I'll need someone to remind me to put on my underpants. But at least I know where all my brain cells are going.
My daughter. She's a genius.
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I'm blogsitting here today. Care to visit and say hello?
Ummmm... so last week I spent an hour tearing my house apart looking for my car keys. I couldn't find them, and I even resorted to asking my almost-2 and 4 year old daughters where they saw them last. No luck. So I drove over to my parents' house to look for them there, and stressed my dad out so much by searching through his house, that he volunteered to babysit. But did you catch that? I DROVE to my folks' house to look for my car keys. It took me an additional hour after I got there to figure out I was an idiot and obviously had them the whole time. But me losing my brain cells? This will be fun to torment the kids with in front of their friends when they get older, don't you think?
Posted by: Jeni | April 17, 2007 at 10:02 PM
I don't even have children and I forget the word for camera...I call it a "picture taker."
How clever of me.
Posted by: JailDiet | April 17, 2007 at 03:06 PM
Seriously.
Not a whole brain between us.
Remember when we were thinky professionals, talking about weighty matters, with relative ease?
BAH!
If all my brains are going to my kid, look out...she's going to be brill.iant.
Posted by: the new girl | April 17, 2007 at 01:10 PM
Oh, I get it now. My brain cells depart me and go into my son? Well, he can probably put them to better use....
Posted by: Damselfly | April 17, 2007 at 11:52 AM
Oh, I get it now. My brain cells depart me and go into my son? Well, he can probably put them to better use....
Posted by: Damselfly | April 17, 2007 at 11:52 AM
Oh, I get it now. My brain cells depart me and go into my son? Well, he can probably put them to better use....
Posted by: Damselfly | April 17, 2007 at 11:52 AM
Oh yeah, my IQ has been going downhill ever since that first double pink line on the stick. And with a second on the way, I see little hope of getting it back in the near future.
Posted by: Christina | April 16, 2007 at 09:01 PM
I think preggo brain causes permanent damage. I haven't been pregnant in almost 3 years but have not regained any amount of smarts that I lost.
Posted by: fairly odd mother | April 16, 2007 at 01:45 PM
I'm sorry to say it hasn't gotten any better for me. My youngest is 4 yrs old and my conversations all involve a lot of "Uhhhhhh...." and "What's that word ... uhhhh."
Posted by: Amy | April 16, 2007 at 12:26 PM
I hear ya sistah! Although, I have no other words to describe how right you are.
Posted by: Wendy | April 16, 2007 at 11:16 AM